All in all, Rome wasn't built in a day, eh? kk1k5x accountability thread
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Feb 2015
Posts: 1,188
Couldn't bring myself to start work today before 4 pm. Christ. I still somehow managed to make my mark (it's 11.30pm atm).
Good news is that my UK friend is coming over to my place tomorrow at noon. We've planned schnitzel cooking and ovenbaked potatoes. This time it's the guy, the lady is getting her tattoo worked on. Haven't seen him since summer, damn. When I was in the UK, he was away on mission.
As a sidenote, I also hope that having some human communication going will put me in a more open mood for the nerd camp, where I'll be meeting new people. I know, I'm weird like that.
But I'm exhausted now, took my melatonin and will turn in. To those who are interested, there's a really good new PBS documentary out called Amazon Empire: The Rise and Reign of Jeff Bezos. I'll finish watching that and then it's sleep time.
Hope everyone had a good day (regardless of what time it started lol).
End of Day 282. I did not drink today.
Good news is that my UK friend is coming over to my place tomorrow at noon. We've planned schnitzel cooking and ovenbaked potatoes. This time it's the guy, the lady is getting her tattoo worked on. Haven't seen him since summer, damn. When I was in the UK, he was away on mission.
As a sidenote, I also hope that having some human communication going will put me in a more open mood for the nerd camp, where I'll be meeting new people. I know, I'm weird like that.
But I'm exhausted now, took my melatonin and will turn in. To those who are interested, there's a really good new PBS documentary out called Amazon Empire: The Rise and Reign of Jeff Bezos. I'll finish watching that and then it's sleep time.
Hope everyone had a good day (regardless of what time it started lol).
End of Day 282. I did not drink today.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Feb 2015
Posts: 1,188
"For smaller repairs around the house"
My friend came for a visit, we cooked food and chatted for some hours. Good stuff.
I haven't done any work today and I'm not going to. Just going to throw some things in the bag for tomorrow and go to sleep soon.
I guess working some would have made the day exceptional but it was great just the way it was. I also discussed maybe spending some time in the UK in the summer. Just for a change of scenery.
End of Day 283. I did not drink today.
My friend came for a visit, we cooked food and chatted for some hours. Good stuff.
I haven't done any work today and I'm not going to. Just going to throw some things in the bag for tomorrow and go to sleep soon.
I guess working some would have made the day exceptional but it was great just the way it was. I also discussed maybe spending some time in the UK in the summer. Just for a change of scenery.
End of Day 283. I did not drink today.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Feb 2015
Posts: 1,188
I'm having significant anxiety about the nerd camp now. Not to pile on (myself) but sometimes I really tick myself off - just freaking go there, do whatever and come back.
Right now, my brain would consider it a godsend if someone from the programme randomly called or emailed me and said I didn't have to go.
It annoys the living bejesus out of me.
Right now, my brain would consider it a godsend if someone from the programme randomly called or emailed me and said I didn't have to go.
It annoys the living bejesus out of me.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Feb 2015
Posts: 1,188
So I need to close off today as well.
It started off a bit weird, with the anxiety and a reluctance to go to the academic weekend. But everyone's been really kind and open. The weird thing about it is that my presumptions about such events were shaped by previous experiences - distant, closed, little to no communication (different faculty, and apparently that matters). Here, I've chatted more with people than I have in the past 6 months (excluding my trip to the UK to meet my friends).
I finished the translation, i.e. the first part of the behemoth an hour ago. That has carved a window of opportunity to engage in actual academic writing tomorrow and Sunday, where I probably have to return to the translating Monday morning (we leave here at noon).
I am super tired, both from communicating, as I don't do it often, and from my work. The others are probably still at the bar here, I never even went. Slipped away, went back to my room, finished work and I'm now going to go to sleep tired, but sober and with a clear conscience
End of Day 284. I did not drink today.
It started off a bit weird, with the anxiety and a reluctance to go to the academic weekend. But everyone's been really kind and open. The weird thing about it is that my presumptions about such events were shaped by previous experiences - distant, closed, little to no communication (different faculty, and apparently that matters). Here, I've chatted more with people than I have in the past 6 months (excluding my trip to the UK to meet my friends).
I finished the translation, i.e. the first part of the behemoth an hour ago. That has carved a window of opportunity to engage in actual academic writing tomorrow and Sunday, where I probably have to return to the translating Monday morning (we leave here at noon).
I am super tired, both from communicating, as I don't do it often, and from my work. The others are probably still at the bar here, I never even went. Slipped away, went back to my room, finished work and I'm now going to go to sleep tired, but sober and with a clear conscience
End of Day 284. I did not drink today.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Feb 2015
Posts: 1,188
Long day today. Lots of discussions and I had my scheduled consultation with the professor. It was more of a chat, really, because as far as official requirements are concerned, I'm currently just ahead of schedule in a sense. One could easily say I'm enjoying my stay/biding my time.
The food here is really good, plus the enormous bonus of just arriving at the in-house restaurant at a certain time and all the food is ready. Not having to think about that for a few days is conducive to writing work.
I did find a 'pet research project' whilst here, which I'm now engaged in and excited about. It follows from my coursework requirements, so it's more of a 2-in-1 deal for me. Makes sense to get that done but also get something more permanent out of it (perhaps, if it ever reaches publication level).
Off to bed now, looking forward to the breakfast to be honest. Not having your own fridge and not spending money on snacks is a good discipline start-up, it seems lol.
Hope everyone enjoyed their day.
End of Day 285. I did not drink today.
The food here is really good, plus the enormous bonus of just arriving at the in-house restaurant at a certain time and all the food is ready. Not having to think about that for a few days is conducive to writing work.
I did find a 'pet research project' whilst here, which I'm now engaged in and excited about. It follows from my coursework requirements, so it's more of a 2-in-1 deal for me. Makes sense to get that done but also get something more permanent out of it (perhaps, if it ever reaches publication level).
Off to bed now, looking forward to the breakfast to be honest. Not having your own fridge and not spending money on snacks is a good discipline start-up, it seems lol.
Hope everyone enjoyed their day.
End of Day 285. I did not drink today.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Feb 2015
Posts: 1,188
Thanks Dee
Today has been meh. I haven't particularly productive, more like at a loss. I didn't have a specific topic to engage with when I came here, and whilst there have been ups and downs, and some good chats, I did not get much done in terms of work. Just the beginnings of something I'm not entirely certain of or sold on.
Others have taken up their evening beer and social circle stuff, I retreated to my room. It's only 9pm but I'm pretty sure sleep is on the books for me.
End of Day 286. I did not drink today.
Today has been meh. I haven't particularly productive, more like at a loss. I didn't have a specific topic to engage with when I came here, and whilst there have been ups and downs, and some good chats, I did not get much done in terms of work. Just the beginnings of something I'm not entirely certain of or sold on.
Others have taken up their evening beer and social circle stuff, I retreated to my room. It's only 9pm but I'm pretty sure sleep is on the books for me.
End of Day 286. I did not drink today.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Feb 2015
Posts: 1,188
Thanks for the good wishes everyone
Think today was a little better, yesterday was sort of a low feeling. Today was a half-day at the 'camp' and luckily I got a ride straight to home, i.e. didn't have to first go to the city and then take a bus home.
I had two basketball games to watch, which kept me relaxed. Today is actually the bday of my country, so it's festive. I even had cake! And some other simple traditional foods. As it's a Monday, most people probably won't be going heavy on the drinking. Were it a Friday though? Oh boy, that would have meant a half-day on Thursday and that's a recipe for hangovers over here.
Got two new books (well, new for me) on my e-reader, which are about text analysis methodologies. Maybe have a look at those.
Although it's only 8.30pm here, I'm already quite sleepy. Figured I'd get some TV series on the harddrive, watch a bit of those. Trying to check out more new stuff from Frontline, too.
It was interesting to be amonst people for a change, even though I did end up spending quite a bit of time in my room. I didn't partake in the beer drinking circles (and when I say beer drinking, I mean nursing one beer/cider) just because I don't want to be around that. I'm okay if a person I've gone to dinner with has a glass of something, but I won't voluntarily join if more than one person is having a drink - whatever the social 'consequences' of that might be. I refuse to engage in anything that has an alcohol element and that I sense might be uncomfortable for me. That's just how things are. Acceptance is important, of course, but not more important than my sobriety. This long weekend was actually the first time since I got sober where both 'group' and 'alcohol' were present simultaneously. I haven't been to bigger-group events for a long time ... mostly because I haven't had a 'group' for a long time lol.
For the sake of my own conscience, I also don't want to leave any false impressions of the event. Everyone was super nice, open and welcoming, and overall, I had a very pleasant time. I'm just not entirely into the social aspects of things. I've spent so much time lurking and avoiding 'being found out' that I have created a sense of fear for things that I don't think I should be afraid of? But, nevertheless, am? So yeah, the people were very nice, the food was good, and although I'm still very much in the process of getting used to my sober self (and I wish I'd had a decent writing project to work on with some fervour - remember the manuscript I just finished :P that's the 'fervour' I'm referring to), I'd say it was a good experience overall.
Small steps towards bigger things, I'd say.
Pretty sure I'll hang around for a while longer and then go to bed.
Tomorrow I start translating again. I actually welcome it - allows me to work, feel useful and forget that 'underacheiver' feeling I drummed up in my brain yesterday.
Hope everyone enjoyed their Monday.
End of Day 287. I did not drink today.
Think today was a little better, yesterday was sort of a low feeling. Today was a half-day at the 'camp' and luckily I got a ride straight to home, i.e. didn't have to first go to the city and then take a bus home.
I had two basketball games to watch, which kept me relaxed. Today is actually the bday of my country, so it's festive. I even had cake! And some other simple traditional foods. As it's a Monday, most people probably won't be going heavy on the drinking. Were it a Friday though? Oh boy, that would have meant a half-day on Thursday and that's a recipe for hangovers over here.
Got two new books (well, new for me) on my e-reader, which are about text analysis methodologies. Maybe have a look at those.
Although it's only 8.30pm here, I'm already quite sleepy. Figured I'd get some TV series on the harddrive, watch a bit of those. Trying to check out more new stuff from Frontline, too.
It was interesting to be amonst people for a change, even though I did end up spending quite a bit of time in my room. I didn't partake in the beer drinking circles (and when I say beer drinking, I mean nursing one beer/cider) just because I don't want to be around that. I'm okay if a person I've gone to dinner with has a glass of something, but I won't voluntarily join if more than one person is having a drink - whatever the social 'consequences' of that might be. I refuse to engage in anything that has an alcohol element and that I sense might be uncomfortable for me. That's just how things are. Acceptance is important, of course, but not more important than my sobriety. This long weekend was actually the first time since I got sober where both 'group' and 'alcohol' were present simultaneously. I haven't been to bigger-group events for a long time ... mostly because I haven't had a 'group' for a long time lol.
For the sake of my own conscience, I also don't want to leave any false impressions of the event. Everyone was super nice, open and welcoming, and overall, I had a very pleasant time. I'm just not entirely into the social aspects of things. I've spent so much time lurking and avoiding 'being found out' that I have created a sense of fear for things that I don't think I should be afraid of? But, nevertheless, am? So yeah, the people were very nice, the food was good, and although I'm still very much in the process of getting used to my sober self (and I wish I'd had a decent writing project to work on with some fervour - remember the manuscript I just finished :P that's the 'fervour' I'm referring to), I'd say it was a good experience overall.
Small steps towards bigger things, I'd say.
Pretty sure I'll hang around for a while longer and then go to bed.
Tomorrow I start translating again. I actually welcome it - allows me to work, feel useful and forget that 'underacheiver' feeling I drummed up in my brain yesterday.
Hope everyone enjoyed their Monday.
End of Day 287. I did not drink today.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Feb 2015
Posts: 1,188
Managed to complete about 6 pages today, of the remaining 16/17. All things considered, I should be able to finish this translation by late tomorrow evening if I manage to keep at it throughout the day tomorrow.
Realised it had gotten quite late and I needed to make my post, and then go to sleep. Today was so-and-so, I worked in spurts rather than in any consistent manner, so it would be great if I could switch that up for tomorrow.
Also managed to read an article, because I have to be in class on Friday again. Which means that it's already been two weeks since the last class. The time does go by quite quickly.
Oh, I did get to submit an invoice today - it's good because the money is wearing thin. Reinforcements are on the way, yay.
End of Day 288. I did not drink today.
Realised it had gotten quite late and I needed to make my post, and then go to sleep. Today was so-and-so, I worked in spurts rather than in any consistent manner, so it would be great if I could switch that up for tomorrow.
Also managed to read an article, because I have to be in class on Friday again. Which means that it's already been two weeks since the last class. The time does go by quite quickly.
Oh, I did get to submit an invoice today - it's good because the money is wearing thin. Reinforcements are on the way, yay.
End of Day 288. I did not drink today.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Feb 2015
Posts: 1,188
Today was a good day.
One of my articles (well, a shorter-than-a-full-length-article) got its reviews! Been waiting on that since mid-October ... two reviews, one was 'accept as is' and the other wanter minor revisions. So, overall, the result was a positive. I did the revisions today and sent it back - let's see what will come of it, but I am a bit giddy as is always the case with my articles. It's either frustration or giddy, but always an emotion. This time I am grateful it was a positive one all things considered But it's still too soon to jump up and down, have to see what the final review says.
I also got extra work for today, so I didn't move forward with the behemoth. The work guy just offered a quick 4 pages and I dealt with that. Finished it right before the e-mail with the reviews came in. This means that tomorrow is a full day of translating. And then reading in the evening for class on Friday.
I also typed up another proposal for an article, i.e. an abstract. It would be based on the materials I worked with in the camp and got frustrated with. A couple of days at home somewhat settled the storm (in the coffee cup) and I am moving forward. Slowly but now more surely.
The work guy also offered about 15 pages for the weekend and that gels well with my other tasks, because I still need to submit my own reviews by end of Feb.
I don't know - today felt like one of those 'I am moving forward' days. And I need to make sure I take a mental snapshot of today for when the seas get rougher again. Good days are always something to hold on to mentally.
One of the many things that sobriety does exceptionally well is clarity of mind and feeling. While this means that both the good and the not-so-good is clearer, it ultimately works out for the best. Clarity allows you/me to recognise the good as it emerges, grab hold of it and store parts of the emotion away for a rainy day, too. When not-so-good emerges, clarity allows you/me to recognise that 'this, too, shall pass'.
I am grateful to be sober. And I am grateful to everyone on this thread for their continued support. It would all be a heck of a lot more difficult if you weren't here
End of Day 289. I did not drink today.
One of my articles (well, a shorter-than-a-full-length-article) got its reviews! Been waiting on that since mid-October ... two reviews, one was 'accept as is' and the other wanter minor revisions. So, overall, the result was a positive. I did the revisions today and sent it back - let's see what will come of it, but I am a bit giddy as is always the case with my articles. It's either frustration or giddy, but always an emotion. This time I am grateful it was a positive one all things considered
But it's still too soon to jump up and down, have to see what the final review says.I also got extra work for today, so I didn't move forward with the behemoth. The work guy just offered a quick 4 pages and I dealt with that. Finished it right before the e-mail with the reviews came in. This means that tomorrow is a full day of translating. And then reading in the evening for class on Friday.
I also typed up another proposal for an article, i.e. an abstract. It would be based on the materials I worked with in the camp and got frustrated with. A couple of days at home somewhat settled the storm (in the coffee cup) and I am moving forward. Slowly but now more surely.
The work guy also offered about 15 pages for the weekend and that gels well with my other tasks, because I still need to submit my own reviews by end of Feb.
I don't know - today felt like one of those 'I am moving forward' days. And I need to make sure I take a mental snapshot of today for when the seas get rougher again. Good days are always something to hold on to mentally.
One of the many things that sobriety does exceptionally well is clarity of mind and feeling. While this means that both the good and the not-so-good is clearer, it ultimately works out for the best. Clarity allows you/me to recognise the good as it emerges, grab hold of it and store parts of the emotion away for a rainy day, too. When not-so-good emerges, clarity allows you/me to recognise that 'this, too, shall pass'.
I am grateful to be sober. And I am grateful to everyone on this thread for their continued support. It would all be a heck of a lot more difficult if you weren't here
End of Day 289. I did not drink today.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Feb 2015
Posts: 1,188
Good luck Sao. As M. Scott from the Office said "ABC means always be closing".
I am currently thinking that I will not be going to class tomorrow. Those are voluntary, but I kind of just don't 'feel it'. I like the topics and everything, but I got A LOT of work today. Aside from the few longer translations (also, I finished 'the behemoth' today), I've never been in a situation where I'm booked solid for more than a week. Currently I have enough work to keep me busy until next Friday noon!
Still waiting to hear back from the journal about my revisions. I guess I'll spend most of tomorrow putting together that review I myself need to submit. Get some stuff out of the way before moving on to the translations, first of many deadlines next week is Monday morning.
Actually, although I don't have a lot of works published, I found that some US professor had just linked my work on his blog (of sorts). It was just the description y'know, nothing much, but it was still weird to read a post titled "MyLastName on TopicX". Heh, my work is 'bloggable' now, which means that 'I've made it' :P
I hope to receive feedback from the prof tomorrow about my planned manuscript project. She will leave for her kind-of-sabbatical for the next 3-4 months, thus I just want to get things in order so as to not bother her too much when she's away, doing her thing.
I heard this pop punk song today, where one of the lines was "there's a story at the bottom of this bottle, and I'm the pen". The song of course referred to the 'who knows what great things will happen between us if we crack it' fact, yet I couldn't help but think how for me, and for all alcoholics, there's a horror story at the bottom of every bottle and how we struggle mightly to not be that pen.
Managed to get some of mandatory course reading on my e-reader, and I have a Japanese war movie to watch (English title 'Kingdom'), so I best get to it and enjoy my evening.
Hope everyone enjoyed their day Whilst mine ended up being work from morning to evening, it felt quite good.
End of Day 290. I did not drink today.
I am currently thinking that I will not be going to class tomorrow. Those are voluntary, but I kind of just don't 'feel it'. I like the topics and everything, but I got A LOT of work today. Aside from the few longer translations (also, I finished 'the behemoth' today), I've never been in a situation where I'm booked solid for more than a week. Currently I have enough work to keep me busy until next Friday noon!
Still waiting to hear back from the journal about my revisions. I guess I'll spend most of tomorrow putting together that review I myself need to submit. Get some stuff out of the way before moving on to the translations, first of many deadlines next week is Monday morning.
Actually, although I don't have a lot of works published, I found that some US professor had just linked my work on his blog (of sorts). It was just the description y'know, nothing much, but it was still weird to read a post titled "MyLastName on TopicX". Heh, my work is 'bloggable' now, which means that 'I've made it' :P
I hope to receive feedback from the prof tomorrow about my planned manuscript project. She will leave for her kind-of-sabbatical for the next 3-4 months, thus I just want to get things in order so as to not bother her too much when she's away, doing her thing.
I heard this pop punk song today, where one of the lines was "there's a story at the bottom of this bottle, and I'm the pen". The song of course referred to the 'who knows what great things will happen between us if we crack it' fact, yet I couldn't help but think how for me, and for all alcoholics, there's a horror story at the bottom of every bottle and how we struggle mightly to not be that pen.
Managed to get some of mandatory course reading on my e-reader, and I have a Japanese war movie to watch (English title 'Kingdom'), so I best get to it and enjoy my evening.
Hope everyone enjoyed their day
Whilst mine ended up being work from morning to evening, it felt quite good.End of Day 290. I did not drink today.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Feb 2015
Posts: 1,188
I ended up staying home today. I'm doing my post this late (midnight here) because I just finished the review I was to complete today/tomorrow. I sincerely hope that I did my job okay with that, because its only point is to help the (other) authors fix issues with their manuscript. No one wants to be 'screamed at' in the reviews, but major issues cannot be ignored either. Tricky thing - trying to help someone fix issues without being mean or 'on a high horse' about it. I guess ... it's not that different from what we are trying to acheive here.
Actually, when I think about it, a lot on SR is like a manuscript review :P The same issues/fixes are repeated again and again, because the people are new and different - but we all share the common goal of getting better.
On a work-related topic - I got to submit another invoice today, so that makes two this week (there was a longer pause, and items got carried over from my usual submission time). I think I will watch some TV now - discovered a series called American Greed - and wait for sleep to come. Hopefully it comes soon.
I hope everyone had a good start to their weekend, for me it will be work this weekend. I'm grateful to have that work, and I'm grateful to be sober
End of Day 291. I did not drink today.
Actually, when I think about it, a lot on SR is like a manuscript review :P The same issues/fixes are repeated again and again, because the people are new and different - but we all share the common goal of getting better.
On a work-related topic - I got to submit another invoice today, so that makes two this week (there was a longer pause, and items got carried over from my usual submission time). I think I will watch some TV now - discovered a series called American Greed - and wait for sleep to come. Hopefully it comes soon.
I hope everyone had a good start to their weekend, for me it will be work this weekend. I'm grateful to have that work, and I'm grateful to be sober
End of Day 291. I did not drink today.
Member
Join Date: Feb 2016
Posts: 2,654
How cool, Kk, your work being linked on the American professor's blog! The more I read of your many accomplishments each week, the more I'm spurred on to overcome my 'stickiness' arising from residual anxiety, fear of failure and procrastination.
I understand your point regarding SR. I don't post as much as previous, feel unqualified in a way, given that I relapsed after two and a half years.....
I'm pleased your paid work keeps flowing in. I do hope you enjoyed a restful night.
I understand your point regarding SR. I don't post as much as previous, feel unqualified in a way, given that I relapsed after two and a half years.....
I'm pleased your paid work keeps flowing in. I do hope you enjoyed a restful night.
Currently Active Users Viewing this Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
