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A Penny For Your Thought, Part 9

Old 05-18-2007, 01:27 PM
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i think that by the time an addict resorts to violence they're so far gone that they're not thinking at all, they don't care if its right or wrong, they only care about getting high. very scary if you ask me.
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Old 05-18-2007, 01:32 PM
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yes very scarey
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Old 05-18-2007, 01:33 PM
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I gave him some ideas because my dad is a poet and he has made magazines in the past.
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Old 05-18-2007, 01:34 PM
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Jewelz well at least he feel comfortable talking to u and really wants better for his life. I think some people get stuck in the cycle cause thats all they know its good to hear that he really wants something more. Must really make u feel good.

Yes of course cinder I would come through on the pill stuff Didnt like those pills I wasnt really a pill head well I was but just with my DOC I got xanax and darvocet and everything else I dont touch BUT put my Doc in front of me and I would eat them like they were the last supper. Oh well at least I got back on track for today I have learned to never underestimate the power of pills I know they control me I lost control of them. Its just so hard to explain and for people who dont have an addiction its even harder to understand I have been on both sides and only then did I see why its so hard to stop although u really want to. Just hard.
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Old 05-18-2007, 01:37 PM
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gosh, i only took a short nap yall.

jewelz, i was wondering where you were too. maybe your kid can find the local print shop and ask them, my ah does that kind of work and i use to do it too. we both are/were machinist in bindery and printing. i agree that kids do need someone to talk to sometimes and that could be a cause for them acting out.

finallyout, you seem to have a lot going on lately. glad you are feeling better, sorry about your son, maybe counseling may help a lot. about the ah getting out, my husband sounded much like that when he got out of jail too. didn't take long for him to find his way back to crack and in and out of jail, back in rehab, back on crack and back out the door. i'd give it some time if i could, cinder is right i think, cant be that good on your kids if he's not quite ready to quit and become more responsible.
congrats on the no smoking, i want to stop too, i guess i'm just not ready though.

cinder, thats why i don't look at the news much, that would have scared me too. i would have been looking to find out more about my ah by now, just a way to get me started. worring is something i don't need. i praying that these two find their way soon.

anvil, you are the lucky one. i wished i was on my way to a vacation, sooner than later.
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Old 05-18-2007, 01:43 PM
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kj, the pills are large pink ones. i'm just suprized to know what i've been having laying around my house. so its the darvocet that everyone talks about here, huh. part oxy and part tylenol probably with codiene, huh
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Old 05-18-2007, 01:48 PM
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i also think that some addicts just don't have a problem with doing certain things, don't think i could have tried to rob anybody, break in on anybody, or do any prosituting. they say to always say YET, but i still don't think that i could have done some of the things that these people do. i think some do and some don't.
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Old 05-18-2007, 01:49 PM
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So KJ, I have a question for you?
What over all is the difference between Darvocet, loratab, Vicodin and Hydrocodone?
I thought it was dosage and strength? I know I can take several darvocet and its like taking tylenol, they had me on them when I was pregnant with middle child.

When I go to drs with back problems they give me Hydrocodone. With my teeth they ask if I want Darvocet or Hydro. I dont really know the differences just what I take.
Its different with valium, Xanax and lorezapem, theres a huge difference in feeling with each

and I almost forgot, how's your neice feeling?

Im just curious I guess
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Old 05-18-2007, 02:00 PM
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arghh, i hate that hes out of jail, is that mean or what? i'm sitting here thinking of the things i need to ask him (aka reasons to call him) so i can make sure hes still home, is setting up some work so i can get some money and he better have called the irs before we both end up in federal prison!!! should i call? they are legit questions right? its better when hes locked up, then i know where is a$$ is at all times!!LOL.
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Old 05-18-2007, 02:13 PM
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You got the job Kj, I missed that part. Congratulations.

Finally, in my experience the "more we need to call" the better off we are if we dont. Write down teh questions, you know you'll be hearing from him, ask him then.
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Old 05-18-2007, 02:20 PM
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YEAH, they got arrest warrants for suspects in that beating I mentioned earlier and they arent my addicts.
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Old 05-18-2007, 02:28 PM
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I'm glad it wasnt yours...........the suspects. I know its easier if we know where they are but would you want them serving life in prison........I have been giving this alot of thought myself and honestly I believe I would rather he be in prison for life rather than dead.........and if he leaves rehab I will be praying for his arrest for his own sake

hows the marchmans act going? did you get it?
sorry yesterday when i posted i had not yet read all your posts( this thread moves so fast)
Yesterday I went to the court house was on the steps heading in to file one but he called and said he wanted to go to treatment.......so we didnt file it. However today I feel sick to my stomach scared that hes left treatment already, I could call and check I guess but then again do I really want to know? and what if he did leave? then I woory more and feel even more ill.
So for now, I'm just gonna try not to think about it and try to wait and see what happens
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Old 05-18-2007, 02:28 PM
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No, Im glad it wasnt them. Relieved actually
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Old 05-18-2007, 02:34 PM
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Lies, I dont think your AH left treatment yet, he went on his own, I dont think he'll walk away yet.

No I wouldnt at all want them serving life in prison, thats why I want to Marchman act them. I dont want them to ahve any new criminal charges, I think that would hinder more than help. We are filing Monday, the cut off for this weeks hearings, because theres 3 of us wording and signing it. I actually think one of us will hear from them again by then, hopefully with more info for the petition. I found out SIL was trying to get them on the HBO intervention thing... I think thats a bit much.
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Old 05-18-2007, 02:54 PM
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cindi.........
my ah and I watched the HBO series, didnt do much for him.........

my concern about my ah is that he was right here, like this 12 years ago...........stealing bindging and running scared......then prison then got his life going again.............and for years he was fine, never could put the two together the person is was now with the paerson he was then...............yet he relapsed about a year and 3 months ago............one day .......then sorry and starting NA.......30 days go by same process he used I found out.............hes sorry now therapy and Na.............60 days sme thing now therapy, na, and IOP therpay..............90 days later same thing ..........so he gets a new sponsor ............same thing another relapse, each time he added something else to his "Program" each time he pulled himself right back up ( after a day or two using) telling me he doesnt want to be that person again..........yet this time he did it again now hes not only barrowed money from people with the lies but he stole from his sponsor.............he was running stayed in crack houses and had dealers calling me and the sponsor with lies acting like they were customers, or the police...............
I dont even know this person, his eyes are so empty or angry it depends on the moment.................and yeah he went to treatment on his own but he had just been in the hospital detox for two days and just had to wait 3 days for an impatient bed and then the night before the bed was suppose to be ready .........he steals and uses all night and calls up a few hours before the appointment for the bed saying he'd go................so he went but I have a very strong feeling that he's not gonna stay I dont know why but I do, and it seems that he has sunk as low as he was 12 years ago....................
I just have a hard time, I cant believe that he actually wants a life like that but yet he keeps showing me that he does........

someone on here had a quote that says........when someone shows you who they are believe them..................thats where I am I quess has he showed me who he really is with his addictive behaviors? Is that the "real" him was everything I knew him to be------- the good person------ the man that I fell in love with--------- was that the "fake"? I dont know, but right now thats how it feels to me, it feels like my life for all of these years has been a lie............and this is really who he is and what he wants........yet I somehow just dont want to believe it.\

thanks for listening to my vent..............
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Old 05-18-2007, 03:01 PM
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DO you have internet at home? Im on most Fridays till after 11.

We can talk if youd like. He may not stay, but hopefully he will for a bit, at elast. Like my husband he knows the tools just seems to ahve lost them. I ahve to say I hope his sponsors initials arent LR, but thats another subject. Hang in there
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Old 05-18-2007, 03:09 PM
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My niece is better especially now shes back on the antibiotics.

Cinder how to describe the drugs yes they are both pain killers but are VERY different. Now the chemical make up is different I think. Darvocet I dont think is in the opiate family and if it is its one of the weakest onces. Hydo and vicoden are the same one is name brand one is generic. They are opiates and are hugley addicting.

Teke no oxy in darvocet totally different drug. Propoxy is the generic name for the darvocet and its a bright pink pill make me sick do never done much research never gave me much of a buzz like hydro's did.

Yes got the job start tomorrow I hope I like it. Its a catch 22 really. If I dont like it cant quit cause I just gave up my unemployment to take it so then I would have no $ coming in. Its pretty much a job where I get the customers to sign contracts that they will just stay with their existing company. Doesnt sound hard and I wont be chained to a desk so I will see got nothing to loose right? Just ensuring that they maintiain their monopoly status thats all lol.
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Old 05-18-2007, 03:10 PM
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I have internet at home, not at work .....
I'm on here alot lately it seems to be the only place / interaction I have lately that doesnt drain me,
my family well they stress me out, his family well they are hurting as much as me, and they've been thur this before............and well my friends I just dont think they get it, and I hate the pity in their faces and voices................so yeah I'm here alot.....

hope to talk to ya soon
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Old 05-18-2007, 03:11 PM
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kj glad your neice is better
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Old 05-18-2007, 04:23 PM
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Thanks KJ, Darvocet only made me sick. My BIl and I argued about that once that is why I asked.

Thats great about teh job and your neice feeling better
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