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A Penny For Your Thought, Part 9

Old 05-18-2007, 05:33 PM
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Ok everyone. Im bored. No ambition to start the chores I haad planned. Pizza's taking forever and Im sorta throwing a pity party. Thinking this is the 6th Friday night I sat alone. Then I laughed, its not.Ive always been alone Friday nights. This is the 6th that if someone appears in morning light Im calling the police. Course I dont expect that anyway, not at this point.

So Iguess I gotta get ambition, light my candles and start cleaning, Atleast the boys are being good
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Old 05-18-2007, 05:40 PM
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anvil

Thank you for your post. Logically I do know these things but it doesnt make it hurt less and it doesnt get rid of this sick feeling in my stomach that hes not who I thought he was. And Damn it how do I go on knowing that even if this time he's able to pull himself back that he wont be right here again one day when I'm least expecting it, and what about his being in the crack houses god only knows what he was doing..........................
i hate this all of it...........life is so not fair
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Old 05-18-2007, 06:00 PM
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Lies I agree its scary. Not knowing hurts and knowing hurts I dont miss it. Then again I did miss it for awhile. Its the hurt too. The letting go of the person u thought he was and realizing the person he is.

Anvil check yourspace I think someone wants to be your friend I dont know much about myspace either
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Old 05-18-2007, 06:05 PM
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And Damn it how do I go on knowing that even if this time he's able to pull himself back that he wont be right here again one day when I'm least expecting it, and what about his being in the crack houses god only knows what he was doing..........................
i hate this all of it...........life is so not fair
Thats the worse part, theres no guarantees anything is forever. 6 years from now if he's late, say he has a flat tire, us wives would worry and think the worse.

About the crack houses, whats going on? A lot of smoking crack and peaking out from behind doors. Thats what is going on. I know when Ah and BIL are smoking half the time they arent in the same room. When they used to go in the garage to smoke it one would be hiding behind the washer. ANvil describing hank above hiding in closet, thats a common site.
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Old 05-18-2007, 06:12 PM
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GRRR still waiting on my pizza. The natives are getting restless
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Old 05-18-2007, 07:42 PM
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its not as much the drug use going on its the other things that I am now thinking about........what if
I was reading on the crackreality site and honestly it makes me feel like I need to vomit..........drugs sex ya know
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Old 05-18-2007, 07:46 PM
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cinder hope that pizza finally came..........

well he called from rehab, he sounded a little more clear I think.........hard to trust my gut anymore but for what its worth ....... He said that hes doing okay and that he was busy there meetings pretty much all day.........didnt complain or say he wanted to leave so for TODAY I guess this is good.
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Old 05-18-2007, 07:56 PM
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Dont believe everything on crackreality.com.
SOme crack addicts engage in sex, but all the ones I asked told me they were too deep into the drug to care.
It was teh coming down part for some.
WHen my AH and I first got married he used at the house to use. I barely saw him until it was all gone, then only when he was about ready to go into that deep coma sleep did he want sex. And this man when not high, always wanted sex.
Most come home from getting high and want validation and accepttance from there wife and thats when they want sex
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Old 05-18-2007, 07:59 PM
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Crack reality tells you only 1 in a million can recover, and we have 2 on this thread. I dont believe that at all.

Thats not to say addicts arent vulnerable, but personally Ive known more cheating when acting like dry addicts then when using
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Old 05-18-2007, 08:01 PM
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Trust your gut liesagain. ANd try to focus on something else
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Old 05-18-2007, 08:34 PM
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look, i've tried to catch up on the reading and now i gotta run to the store, you all have a very interesting conversation going on. i'll be right back, got this talking grandbaby with me and she is driving me up a wall, going to get cigs and something to drink, hopefully she'll fall asleep on the way.
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Old 05-18-2007, 08:50 PM
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taking the kids for a car ride was always the answer for me........ I remember I use to put my daughter in the car and drive just to put her to sleep. wow that was so long ago........my daughter graduates this week........boo hoo I think it actually makes me sad more than happy........well happy she graduated sad thats she'll be leaving home for university
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Old 05-18-2007, 09:02 PM
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need a little help here, i just got a serious flashback of what ah may be doing in that hotel room on a payday. i don't want to think the things that i do think about that. made me want to go out, maybe call up this guy that i was shooting pool with at the cafe'. don't really feel comfortable calling guys, but he called me a couple of times, i just never returned the call so i guess he decided not to call any more.

maybe its not a good idea anyway, i'm not looking for anyone to date, maybe just a friend but i always get in trouble with those just a friend kind of thing
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Old 05-18-2007, 09:03 PM
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oh yeah, i thought i'd leave the baby home and when i got back she was asleep, yehhh
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Old 05-19-2007, 04:33 AM
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Good Morning all. Teke. I hope your night got better. I hope everyones did. Im up trying to get ready for a busy day around family (my nightmare) but I will survive
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Old 05-19-2007, 05:10 AM
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Hey cindi, I can't sleep I woke up because abf had to go to work. He thought that because it was raining that they were gonna tell him to stay home but nope he had to go in, haha. he wasn't happy but I rubbed it in a little.... I dont know I just didnt want to be around him this morning.

I want to go to home depot and buy paint for my kitchen and hallway. But I keep wondering how could I paint with michael here. I think the stress might not be worth it but I also want my kitchen before memorial day.

Just thinking
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Old 05-19-2007, 05:27 AM
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blues I feel the same way. I wish i was sleeping, both kids are asleep and I am here instead of in bed.
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Old 05-19-2007, 05:55 AM
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good morning all, i woke up too early too, had a sip of coffee and went right back to sleep. up now with a real cup.

cinder you will survive with your family, maybe this time it'll be different from the rest, maybe not so much other stress.

will somebody please tell me why i go to sleep and dream about this guy that i was shooting pool with. i dreamed we went out but guess what? i ended up having to take some kids with me on the date. LOL
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Old 05-19-2007, 05:57 AM
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teke, I had to laugh..well your probably having dreams about him cause you really want to call but keep stopping yourself and with the kids in your dream probably because theyare always with you and your dream is telling you that you need time with out the kids.
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Old 05-19-2007, 06:03 AM
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I agree with jewelz dreampt (sp lol) about him cause u were thinking about him. Teke just call and see if he wants to shoot pool hes just a friend what harm is in that? NONE. I was raised that u didnt call guys but to be honest that went right out the window I dont have a problem calling anyone if I want to go out and do something fun. I double dog dare u!!!
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