teke

i think you're going through enough to cause anxiety so hopefully your doctor can give you something thats not so strong. i remember when i use to have those attacks really bad. i would see my ah or just think he's in the area and i would just lose it. haven't had one of those in a while, i kind of though i felt one coming on before he left and i had to do all i knew how to do, to calm myself. sometimes this life can be so hard.

cinderellawkids

propoxy-Im looking it up. Ive had things with that, Ive seen it. I want to say its...let me look it up, I think Ive had problems with it and addiction

teke

i don't think this looks so good, it also has aceaminophen warning on the bottle. its these oxy's and phen's that worry me.

cinderellawkids

Yep my thoughts are right its generic Hydrocodone. Is it 550 or 750 mg? Its very addictive yes and I went through nasty withdrawals when i took it for wisdom tooth removal few years ago, fortunately they dont last but a few days, the withdrawals.

Just so you know Hydrocone is in same family as Oxycotin, lighter dosage. and Oxy is senthetic heroin. Just read codeine is used recreationally to get away from Heroin withdrawals. Gonna dump the rest of mine out tonite.

Im on antianxeity/antidepressant meds, but under the situation they likely need to be temporarily upped.

cinderellawkids

Sometimes though Teke, for pain you have to take things.

My concern is atleast with Oxy it makes you think theres pain even when theres not. Hydrocone had me more anxious and that made my nauscious and tense which caused pain, so Id take one and all went away. Thats when you subconscioisly start taking it more. and more and more

laketime

hello all, im leaving for the lake this weekend, i think we need it. ill let you guys know how as's court date goes monday. everyone have a fantastic weekend

cinderellawkids

Thanks Laketime. Have a great weekend. Try to get some relaxation in

teke

thats kind of sad, doctors give you stuff and don't tell you the dangers of what they are giving you. thank god, i don't like meds that make you sleep. i had 20 of these things last yr, when i had tooth extractions too. i gave away about 5, didn't know they were addictive, about once in a blue moon, i make break one up literally about 8 time, take maybe a crumb and they still stop the neck and back pains. i took a small piece the other night and still had to bottle here on the nite stand, so i just thought to ask.

to think that i told that dentist that i had an addiction problem and asked him to prescribe me something that was not addictive, i always ask, and what? did he forget? or was he not paying me any attention. you mean to tell me you can't trust the doctors even when you tell them you have a problem?

teke

good for you lake, have fun and be careful. see you monday

cinderellawkids

Well Teke they probably would not ahve refilled the script. So with say 10, you wouldnt necesarily get all caught up in it. The prblem is thats if you take them as prescribed. You know swollow 1 every 8 hours with a full glass of water. i never did that. Since this is a forum that it is I will not elaborate.

cinderellawkids

My counselors alays called me an addict in waiting... because I liked the meds but I always felt a pull, a strong one and usually stopped why I could still stop, even then it wasnt easy. But I think thats why I have a hard time understanding AH sometimes, but I never got that far and Never will. Thats also what kept me from trying things like Crack, I know Id never break free

teke

cinder, the bottle says 100-656 tab tev and so far the tylenol athrithis works good or advil. thats usually all i take. the other nite i was hurting really bad, i guess it was the weather, anyway, late that nite i didn't have either one of the other so i crumbed up the oxy whatever tab and went right on to sleep. glad you looked that up for me. you're right, i do have to take something mostly everyday, can't figure out a way yet to not over do everything. it would make life just too boring if i couldn't do somethings that i need to do to stay busy or keep my mind occupied

cinderellawkids

My dad says they put him to sleep too. Not me, I feel normal and function normally on them, weird huh. I think thats the danger. Until recently i never recognized or acknowledged I had issues with them, I knew valium and Xanax, but when I started thinking i realized its all under that category just at different levels.

It goes to show how all our makeup are different and why one thing affects one person one way and another differently

teke

well thats good you felt that way and i'm glad that you were able to stop, but being able to just stop the other stuff is what i thought i could do when i tried crack. i got hook the first time i tried it. couldn't stop. in 3 months, i ended up in rehab, i just never wanted to be addicted to anything. i would say that you never crossed that invisable line of addiction, yET, SO LETS NOT PUSH IT.

man i wished that it was just that easy, to just stop.

cinderellawkids

Thats what the counselor said. My AH describes crack as making him feel strong and powerful, thats his desire, and alcohol is for boredom. If I ever took anything that made me feel strong and not week I dont think Id be able to stop I know Ive mentioned once using cocaine and the later desires, Thank God I got pregnant and never tried again.

Doctors also once said they think I liked the pain of withdrawal and hang overs because I felt comfortable being miserable. Scarey huh, that some people out there are so addicted to chaos and pain that the crash period doesnt seem al that bad.

Thats why I dont drink. i remember liking hangovers because it was an excuse to lay around and do anything. I used to like AHs crashing for the same thing and we all did everything. Now my desire is to each day be at the same neutral level and get used to it. Its getting more comfortable.

Teke, Im so glad you eventually were able to stop, otherwise we wouldnt ahve met. i cherish you as a friend

teke

thanks cinder, i glad we met too. addiction did cause one good thing to happen. talking about it making your husband feel strong and powerful, i think it made me feel confident for awhile then it became the worse thing i'd ever done. i guess it does effect some different than others.

about the addiction to drama, sad but i think that my ah's bingeing wouldn't have been so bad if only he didn't stay gone and didn't leave me thinking that he was cheating. i think i could have dealt with his addiction but it was the woman thing that got me. now if that ain't used to the drama, i don't know what is. its feels odd to not have any drama going on, but i am getting so use to it that i know now that its not something to be ok with. sad, huh?

teke

and btw, i'm so grateful that i was able to stop too, i used to cry out loud, asking god to help me stop and i'm talking about on a daily basis. gosh, that was so hard to do. you wouldn't believe how hard. if there is away that your mil can get them help, thats good, i sure hope they can stick to it. i HAD to go into rehab, i just couldn't stop on my own and god knows i tried. my family may not have thought i was tring but i was. right now, i live about 7 miles from where i got drugs at, less depending on which way i go, but i don't go that way AT ALL. GOT NO BUSNESS THERE. TO AFRAID i might use, still

cinderellawkids

Its sad, but I can relate. I kinda liked Ah disappearing every Friday night and us all having a bum day on Saturday. It was when he started working less and stealing that was tough to handle. I could even handle the Thursday critisism and bad mood.

They say thats because it becomes our norm. Ive had abondonment issues so long and came froma family of "not good enough" so that wasnt new to me.

Ive come so far from the girl who'd throw a temper tantrum on the kitchen floor crying out his name after he left. Gosh, I never want to be there again. It was weird but i became comfortable lying on the dirty floor crying or in the bathroom feeling like vomiting. Thats how deep those types of issues run. Even today I get nautious when I drive by that neighborhood and I have nightmares of sitting in that house. 12 years was a long time, lots of bad memeories there from way ebfore AH. I dont even want to go back to clean. I want to sell it and let go. Between first husbands cheating and leaving (abondonment issues) old bos I ahd only for validation, taking 1st back and him exploiting my sis and step daughter. Then going to prison why the house was trashed and I had a newborn and dealing with CPS. Then to being alone and desparate for years and then meeting and marying Ah. Its time to let it all go, all of it. When I think of them there with no power and bugs, gosh the bugs. I have nightmares of me being there. So many feelings taht ahve bottled up forever are coming out and Im ready to walk away from all of it. Its time I heal

teke

oh cinder, i don' want to even think about all the crap i've been through and the places that i've lived that held such bad memories. once i walked away from my home and didn't look back, grabbed what i could, put it in storage and moved out with no place to go. thats how bad it had gotten for me in this one paticular place i lived in. i had to even think about all the unnessessary drama i've gone through and to think that i may have not even realized how bad it was because i was so used to it being that way until it was normal for me. to think that i didn't see much wrong with my life, so i had basically become content with the addiction, abandonment, and the cheating. man thats sad to me. if i had a weak stomach, i'd be nomiting too

teke

palm is right cinder and i do agree with you, its time for you to heal. looking back always bring those old hurts back to the surface. i do the best i can not to remember some things, too painful to think about.