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Old 06-08-2012, 08:15 PM
  # 381 (permalink)  
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My personal faves:

"I can't be an alcoholic because I drink mostly beer."

OR

"I don't have a problem because I like to drink" (REALLY?!?!?!?)
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Old 06-08-2012, 08:47 PM
  # 382 (permalink)  
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"Ill never drink again"

"I dont drink that much anymore. Only drink like 2 or 3 beers"

"I started messing with her because i was lonely and you werent answering my calls"
This is his excuse on more than 1 occasion. Ugh wtf was i thinking taking back such a huge turd repeatedly!?

"I love you. I swear things will be different THIS time."

"Youre controlling and i just want to chill and enjoy life. We are only in our 20's"
Ya we are but we have a CHILD who WILL NEVER EVER EVER get the emotional, physical and financial support if we sit around "chillin" all day everyday drinking case after case!!

"Ill do anything for you and our son"
I guess his definition of ANYTHING means, continuing drinking, never keep a job, lie, cheat, steal and bounce in and out of jail, and repeatedly CHOOSE not to help take care of our son.

Ugh i could go on for pages, Makes me sick. Pitiful *******
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Old 06-09-2012, 12:51 AM
  # 383 (permalink)  
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My RAH(?) when on his weekend break from rehab- you have a problem too. When I come home next week I think you should go for treatment and leave me here with the kids for a month!
Thats when I knew he was still in denial
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Old 06-09-2012, 03:53 AM
  # 384 (permalink)  
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I get drunk cause you think I will so I might as well...
I remeber saying that sh!t when I was 12...
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Old 06-09-2012, 05:09 AM
  # 385 (permalink)  
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"So and so really cares about me and you don't", in reference to his enabling friends and mother.
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Old 06-09-2012, 02:54 PM
  # 386 (permalink)  
I AM CANADIAN
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Lol!!!
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Old 06-09-2012, 03:28 PM
  # 387 (permalink)  
has left the building :)
 
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ME: nothing (just begin filming him with iPhone)

AH: "What do you think I'm ****ing hammered, or what?"

ME: nothing

AH: "I can't do a goddamn thing around you anymore."

AH: "I'm sorry you're ****ing so uptight."

ME: *crickets*

AH: "...and guess what, you know what? I'm gonna go hide in the kitchen and drink all the rest of the ****ing Jägermeister that I have stashed around here, just to **** you off. And then I'm gonna get really ****ing nasty, alright?"

ME: "Alright"

AH: *falls asleep*

Seriously?!?

I hadn't said a word or accused him of anything, just started filming, which made him very nervous and uncomfortable. Then he offered up that spewed garbage. Transcribed from video footage, so this is verbatim.
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Old 06-09-2012, 03:39 PM
  # 388 (permalink)  
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I'm stopping daily drinking.
I only had one glass of wine tonight.
I think it's my depression that makes me go over the edge.
I MISS YOU, I want to give you everything and show you I can change.
I bought some Bacardi Silver, looked interesting and on sale so I figured why not?

Sigh.
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Old 06-09-2012, 03:57 PM
  # 389 (permalink)  
has left the building :)
 
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HA! I just got the "I miss you" text last night.
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Old 06-09-2012, 05:49 PM
  # 390 (permalink)  
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"I work hard... I deserve to get drunk once a week" (didn't show up for his time with the girls this weekend - today- and shocker, he chose to get plastered with colleagues instead... when I pointed out that he let down his daughters in favor of beer, I got the quack above. The difference now vs the past is that his quacking line above made me want to laugh at its juvenile-ness whereas a year ago I would have wanted to cry.

The girls didn't even seem that phased to not see him today after a bit of time had passed from the initial disappointment of being blown off... We had a great day together...
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Old 06-09-2012, 07:53 PM
  # 391 (permalink)  
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My 11 year old son collects bottles and cans and turns them in for money. Every 2 weeks, AH takes him to the recycling center. They count the bottles and cans. It's a nice routine for the two of them.

This most recent quack comes via my son. AH took him to the recycling place, and glory be, AH had TONS of empty beer bottles to add to the mix.

Son: "Dad, there are over 100 beer bottles here. Did you drink all this beer?"

AH: What beer bottles?

Son: The 100 beer bottles I just counted. The ones you brought. Did you drink all this beer?"

AH: No, I have absolutely no idea where they came from!

Son: Dad, why do you have 100 beer bottles then?

AH: I have no idea! They just....appeared in my garage!
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Old 06-09-2012, 08:30 PM
  # 392 (permalink)  
has left the building :)
 
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The magic reappearing beer bottles! Funny how liquor containers seem to have a mind (and agenda) of their own!

Well, maybe not so funny, but...
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Old 06-09-2012, 08:35 PM
  # 393 (permalink)  
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My AH decided to go on this major health kick... Decided that all oils other than coconut and olive oil were toxic and that fructose was bad too because it is processed by the liver. Actually, given how overloaded his liver was getting, it was probably a good idea to lay off the fructose.

But, I really got an eye-opener when he started complaining of heart burn and sometimes nausea. He had been squeezing some fresh limes into juice, added sugar to make it less tart, and copious amounts of rum to make it palatable. He decided he should lay off the limes because the fructose was causing his heartburn. He just swigged straight rum from the bottle after that.

Of course, it's the fructose that is making you so sick. Quack!
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Old 06-11-2012, 10:55 AM
  # 394 (permalink)  
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"Those are from yesterday!"
"Those are from like six months ago when Fresh and Easy first opened!"
"The carpet is wet because I spilled water on it!" even tho it smells like beer
"That beer is ice cold because it has been in my closet!" Funny I didn't know your closet was a refridgerator...
"I drink because you are a bad person"
"There's nothing wrong with having a beer and watching the game" funny how there is always some sporting event on TV.
"I raised myself to drink this much"
"I was reading on the internet how bad beer is for you, and milk is really bad too. So I'm going to stop drinking milk!" He actually did stop drinking milk, but not the beer!
"I asked that girl out (a girl he works with) for a beer because it's a joke! I was making fun of our boss!" I read this message on his phone when he was passed out drunk. Her reply was "I thought everything was better!"

Yesterday I followed him to store and he saw me, but he had already bought a bottle of wine. So he left it on table with a note saying "I bought this for you!"
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Old 06-11-2012, 11:03 AM
  # 395 (permalink)  
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"Jokes on you, my uncle is da judge"

---part of the emails he sent before he was ARRESTED for violating the restraining order.
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Old 06-11-2012, 02:47 PM
  # 396 (permalink)  
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Most of these are sent to me via text...
If I feel like this tomorrow I will never consider drinking again.
I just love and miss you and wish you were her to be happy with me.
So if I didn't text you we wouldn't have any contact at all?
I don't like you drinking unless I'm there, please don't do that to me.
I can't win this can I?
Good morning, are you off your high horse today?
I can't wait to quit drinking so I can be perfect like you?

AH: You need to get help too?
me: Ok for what
AH: I don't know, just think about what other people don't like about you.

Quit being so rude, all I'm trying to do is make things right. I didn't realize how much I was missing out on.

Sorry for wanting to spend time with you and the kids.

Oh geez I could go on forever.
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Old 06-11-2012, 04:23 PM
  # 397 (permalink)  
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Here's a good one that I heard last night from my AH. He said the most important thing to him is his image and that he have a good one. Say what, the man who gets drunk at the local bar where people know him! He also said that he wants me and our grown kids to have good images too....LOL.

Then he went on to say that if anyone has a problem with him, he tries to take care of it because of his image!! Say what, did I tell you I had a problem with your drinking, did you take care of it? Anyway, I then responded that I thought he only took care of the problem if it was superficial. He said yes, I take care of superficial problems like if you don't like my clothes! So he agreed but then I don't know that he even knew what he agreed to? I was so amazed by this quacking....it goes beyond his usual, which is really saying something...LOL!
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Old 06-12-2012, 04:05 AM
  # 398 (permalink)  
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I have found a new line of work after I retire.. I want to be a sommelier!

Right.
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Old 06-12-2012, 04:20 AM
  # 399 (permalink)  
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Why take the only enjoyable thing I have in life away from me?

I don't need rehab, look t the losers in there! I'm not like them.

Um, maybe my friend can drive you to the ER. I can't. (lots of pot and alcohol that day)

You have a nice place to live and food.....isn't that enough?

I passed out because of my medication. No buddy, you stole my meds and used alcohol to wash them down. Those were cancer drugs, smart boy.
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Old 06-15-2012, 01:31 PM
  # 400 (permalink)  
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AA is a cult
*
AH: AA is religious based and I'm not religious.* Me: Actually has to do with a higher power as you understand Him. AH: whatever
*
AH: AA has to do with admitting you are powerless over alcohol. Do you think I"m powerless over alcohol? Me: It's not for me to say.* AH: Well,*I think the person who thinks I have an alcohol problem should be the one to say if I'm powerless over alcohol. Me: It's not for me to say, only you can decide that.
*
AH: My Valley Hope recommendation is bull****.*They are in the business to make money, so the*questions are skewed so anyone could be diagnosed*as an alcoholic.*If you took that evaulation you'd be an alcoholic too.* Me: Ok, let's go down to Valley Hope so I can take the evaluation. AH: That's not the point.
*
If I'm an alcoholic, then half the people i know are alcoholics.
*
I work hard and I deserve to have a drink.
*
I just had six beers.
*
I smoke pot to turn my brain off.
*
I wrapped the bag of pot in*that jacket and*hid it in the bin behind the couch because of the smell. [After he told me there was none in the house].
*
I bought all that pot because I hate buying pot and meeting with dealers, so I just get a lot at once.
*
Our marriage counselor told me I'm an alcoholic to make me feel bad about myself.*
*
AH: You don't take any responsibility for me moving out? Me: No. AH: You don't take any responsibility? Me: No. AH: You don't take any responsibility for the fact that I moved out when you told me to leave? Me: No. I take responsibility for asking you to pack up*your things and be gone by the time I got home, AFTER you told me our marriage was over and you were getting your own place.
*
AH: You're right, I just need to make a decision. Me: I didn't say that you needed to make a decision. AH: Well I can infer that is what you meant. Me: That is neither what I said nor what i meant. AH: One could logically surmise that based on what you said, that I need to make*a decision. QUACK. I've had so many arguments like this over the last month!**Just another way my AH tries to shift blame for decisions he alone can make by trying*to put words in my mouth and thoughts in my head.**
*
And based on someone's suggestion on another thread, I did change my AH's ringtone to a Duck - so when I hear the quacking I know to expect to hear something stupid from him.
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