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Old 04-05-2012, 03:12 PM
  # 361 (permalink)  
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"you don't understand, I don't get out of work until almost 4am, its perfectly fine to drink until 10am"
"theres nothing wrong with having a few beers and watching the ball game before work"
"i only had one beer... okay 2, ok 3, ok 4.. ok 5 and some shots but thats IT"
"my drinking has nothing to do with my health problems"
"my brother drinks more than i do"
"you're the one that wanted to drink tonight, not me" HAHAHA WHAT??
"i didn't drink all the beer in the fridge, (insert friends name here) did"

the doctor: "mr X, how much booze do you drink?"
x: "i dont drink booze, i drink beer, and maybe some liquor here and there"
doctor: "mr X, you need to stop drinking"
x: "yeah, you're right, maybe i'll cut down"
Doctor: "no, mr X, you need to stop drinking entirely, no more drinking ever, your health is failing because of it"
x: "yeah maybe i'll cut down"

and my favorite, after an especially destructive binge... "its my day off"

i was young when i started dating axbf, about 23. took me a while to realize his denial and my "co-denial" sheesh.
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Old 04-05-2012, 03:20 PM
  # 362 (permalink)  
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"i'm a bartender, would you tell a chef he can't eat food? well then don't tell me i can't drink, alcohol is what i do for a living!"


seriously i could write a book of quacks
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Old 04-05-2012, 03:24 PM
  # 363 (permalink)  
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I've heard many! Some of them I've seen posted here.

Here's a few of my favorites: I drank after you went to bed in an effort to protect you.
After being told what I thought of his behavior(s) with children in the house: I understand. I understand.
The hard alcohol is what really got me in trouble. I'll just stick with beer.
I don't trust you to talk to our 13 year old about getting in the car with someone who's been drinking. You'll just villify me and throw me under the bus.

I could go on but those are some of the most recent that stick in my mind!
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Old 04-05-2012, 03:43 PM
  # 364 (permalink)  
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Mine was " I divorced you beacuse I couldn't communicate"...maybe because he never answered the phone and had no contact after he left !!
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Old 04-06-2012, 07:14 AM
  # 365 (permalink)  
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XABF: "You know, it was in your palms to change me. You were a reluctant hugger. I have tried to get you to change but it never happened. The lack of your affection killed our relationship. Period. I took to another friend, booze."

UM, yeah, because your nasty drunken behavior drained all the affection out of me, bonehead.
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Old 04-06-2012, 03:57 PM
  # 366 (permalink)  
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Oh how I love this thread... always a great one to read when STBXAH has pushed my buttons.

Anyhow, my new personal favorite is:

"No, I did not choose vodka over this relationship. YOU were the one that had the problem with the drinking, not me."
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Old 04-06-2012, 05:15 PM
  # 367 (permalink)  
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My RXABs response to being called out on bad behavior

I'm sorry you feel that way


Goooooood times
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Old 04-08-2012, 08:12 PM
  # 368 (permalink)  
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ABF, Regarding planning his recent binge:

"You wanted a heads up, so I'm giving it to you. And I'll stay away from home if you want. I'm trying to work with you!"
HAHAHAHA, this is all for me, I knew it!

AND...

"When I drink once every 2 weeks or so, I get it out of my system and feel good because I have control over it"
Right. Wasn't your last plan to control it as well? Before you lost your FIFTH job?

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Old 04-08-2012, 08:32 PM
  # 369 (permalink)  
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"No, I did not choose vodka over this relationship. YOU were the one that had the problem with the drinking, not me."

That is delightful!

(I know I didn't post that right - pardon, I'm still learning :-) )

Last edited by GFGardener; 04-08-2012 at 08:34 PM. Reason: I don't know how to use this yet!
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Old 04-08-2012, 08:33 PM
  # 370 (permalink)  
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How 'bout this one?

"I fell asleep while sending you a text."
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Old 04-09-2012, 11:32 AM
  # 371 (permalink)  
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One of my current "favorites"-

Him: I'm entitled to a beer after work!
Me: Yeah, ok, have A beer. Just one, right?
Him: Fine, a couple beers.
Me: Well, "a couple" means 2, so you're only going to have 2?
Him: Oh stop it! If I want to have a few beers after working all day, it's not a big deal!
Me: You'll only be drinking after work, then? No drinking on your days off?
Him: *silence*

And that's not even getting into the whole "entitled" to drink b.s.

Also, the various forms of "Why are you trying to ruin my good time?" I guess he has a point- all of his emotional breakdowns, crying fits, pity parties, etc. DO look really fun! Who wouldn't fight to hang on to that?
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Old 04-09-2012, 11:58 AM
  # 372 (permalink)  
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Also, the various forms of "Why are you trying to ruin my good time?" I guess he has a point- all of his emotional breakdowns, crying fits, pity parties, etc. DO look really fun! Who wouldn't fight to hang on to that?
Yep, sounds like lotsa fun!
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Old 04-09-2012, 12:44 PM
  # 373 (permalink)  
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"I have a beer gut because my alcoholic roomate moved in" QUACK!!
"Your Mom is a hypocrite for going to a bar when she says im an alcoholic". (my mom rarely ever drinks).
"I drink because I have a lot of problems" QUAAAACK!

Man they sound like 5 year olds!!!!
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Old 04-09-2012, 12:50 PM
  # 374 (permalink)  
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"You don't caaaare that I'm depressed" (I've been telling you that for months)

QUACK

"You don't have as stressful a life as I do" (no, caring for 2 kids almost ALONE while balancing school isn't stressful as working 2x a week and drinking the rest of the week away)

QUACK

"You're the reason I have no friends" (Yes yes, because I still have all my friendships I had before we got together and you don't. I must have told you you weren't allowed to go out)

QUACK

"If you cooked/cleaned more maybe I'd not be so depressed or inclined to drink" (maybe if you're mother wasn't a slave to your father while you grew up... lets not go there because you still haven't grown up!!!!)

QUACK!!!!
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Old 05-03-2012, 09:04 PM
  # 375 (permalink)  
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Just thought of another one....

Me: Look "so and so" I get really concerned when you're out drinking with the guys and then get behind the wheel..."
Him: Well, maybe we shouldn't date then....I mean I wouldn't want you to be home upset when all I'm doing is having a few drinks with the guys...
Me: (insert white flag here)

Today's "reminder"
Getting rid of the alcohol and the drinking buddies seems like a much healthier option, if you ask me, but then again, what do I know???

Ahhh...what fond memories....

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Old 05-04-2012, 06:01 AM
  # 376 (permalink)  
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Him: 'I'm not going to drink for a long time now. I was a fool for getting drunk and high last night'.
Me: 'Whatever, we'll see'
Him: 'I'm serious. I'll be working out 5 days a week anyway and working so i have no time.'
ME:'Yeah sure ok, whatever. I've heard it before'

next day

Him: 'I'm so looking forward to the gig i'm playing in next week.'
Me: 'Do you think you'll manage it sober?'
Him: 'Well i'll only be having a couple of drinks with the boys'
Me: 'EH?? You already told me you will work out 5 times a week and not drink for a long time remember?'
Him: 'Yeah but like i said, i'm having a couple of drinks, i'm not getting drunk! So i'm not drinking, plus i can only work out 3 times a week realistically.'
Me: FACEPALM

QUACK QUACK QUACK
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Old 05-04-2012, 01:29 PM
  # 377 (permalink)  
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My AH used to say "At least I drink at home". Oh yay! So you can be loud and obnoxious at home instead of with other people that are also loud, drunk, and obnoxious. Oh yeah, you're really doing me a favor.
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Old 05-04-2012, 02:26 PM
  # 378 (permalink)  
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"You are uptight and don't want to have fun so I am having a party by myself." Doesn't everyone feel like partying (aka getting drunk while blasting rap music for the whole building to hear) after working for 12 hours and then going to school until 10pm? I am so uptight. lol

"I know you left because I was being an idiot but if you had just been a little more supportive..." I don't know what was coming next because I yelled at him to stop blaming me. HA!

"YOU said I have a disease. Cancer is an illness and the people who have it have no control over it so I guess this is like cancer." jackass!!!!
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Old 05-04-2012, 02:29 PM
  # 379 (permalink)  
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Originally Posted by kazzo View Post
XABF: "You know, it was in your palms to change me. You were a reluctant hugger. I have tried to get you to change but it never happened. The lack of your affection killed our relationship. Period. I took to another friend, booze."

UM, yeah, because your nasty drunken behavior drained all the affection out of me, bonehead.
Are we dating the same man? I have heard this one 1000 times!
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Old 06-08-2012, 07:23 PM
  # 380 (permalink)  
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When reminding AH of a conversation he's forgotten, his response:

"You either did not tell me, or you did not tell me in a way that I would remember."

First class deflecting!
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