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DAY 23 - Sober Pet Owner

Posted Yesterday at 10:20 AM by LoveHateMerlot (Diary of Wino)
Updated Yesterday at 11:30 AM by LoveHateMerlot

I had lunch with my oldest sister yesterday, she is 8 years older than me. Growing up, she has always been my best friend. We laugh so hard we cry. We usually spent every single weekend together, lots of drinking. As time went by, we got older, alcohol became more and more a problem for us both. She had spent 30 days in rehab and I tried to quit on my own.

The past year our relationship has been a little rocky. I had been hurt by broken promises and she had been hurt by me...
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LoveHateMerlot
Posted in Diary of Wino
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Day 21 - ACTION!

Posted 01-19-2019 at 11:27 AM by LoveHateMerlot (Diary of Wino)

3 weeks sober today!

The cravings at night are not as intense as the first week, but they are still here. I am well aware that I will have cravings for alcohol for the rest of my life. I will have good days, and there will be plenty of bad days ahead. I will always be an alcoholic, that part will never go away. I am wired to be an addict to the end of my life. I take it one day at a time and make a strong plan of what I will say and do before I am in a situation where alcohol...
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LoveHateMerlot
Posted in Diary of Wino
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DAY 17 - The Guilt of a Drunk Parent

Posted 01-15-2019 at 01:09 PM by LoveHateMerlot (Diary of Wino)
Tags drunk , guilt , mother , pain , sober

I just got back from taking my 14 year old daughter to get an ultra sound done on her lower and upper abdomen. She has suffered from chronic, severe stomach pain since she was little, and it's not because she is constipated. She has had episodes where she is shaking and has convulsions, where she thinks she is going to die. I am not being dramatic, she has literally asked me if she was dying. It's very scary as a parent to not be able to answer that question when your little girl is having...
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LoveHateMerlot
Posted in Diary of Wino
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DAY 13 - Recalibrating Friendships

Posted 01-11-2019 at 08:49 AM by LoveHateMerlot (Diary of Wino)
Updated 01-11-2019 at 10:48 AM by LoveHateMerlot

Can I just say how amazing it is to be able to wake up at 6:00 am! I literally roll over, turn OFF my alarm (instead of hitting snooze) and jump out of bed. I have zero hangover symptoms. I have a clear head and ready to conquer the day. I do not feel regret or ashamed of the night before. I know EXACTLY who I spoke to and what I said last night...and I do not carry any guilt for yesterday. I don't have to go on Instagram and retrace my intoxicated likes and comments. I can do this!
...
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LoveHateMerlot
Posted in Diary of Wino
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DAY 11 - Hope

Posted 01-09-2019 at 08:24 AM by LoveHateMerlot (Diary of Wino)
Tags hope , libido , sober , wine , wino

This morning I woke up to my 6:00 am alarm with no problem! Wow!
I woke up with a positive attitude and a smile on my face. I haven't felt this great in a very long time. I will not take this feeling for granted and will use this power to give my life a boost. So I set quite a few goals for the day. Mainly school, I'm working on the 4th Real Estate education course, 2 more courses to go before I get my license, and it's been long and grueling! Today I see the light at the...
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LoveHateMerlot
Posted in Diary of Wino
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