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Day 18 - Hope!

Posted 04-02-2017 at 09:43 PM by LoveHateMerlot (Diary of Wino)
Tags drunk , hope , mom , sober , wine

It's getting better. I am here to tell you it does get better. I'm not ever going to be healed from alcoholism, and now I know that sobriety is the only way to live for an alcoholic. I had quit so many times in the past, and convinced myself that I'm not as bad as other alcoholics (look I have wine in a fancy glass you see) but the truth was 1) I was making excuses to drink again, 2) I could easily get worse than what I was, and 3) there is no spectrum with alcoholism, it's yes or no. It's...
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LoveHateMerlot
Posted in Diary of Wino
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Old

Day 15 - Drunk Mother

Posted 03-30-2017 at 09:27 PM by LoveHateMerlot (Diary of Wino)
Tags drunk , mom , sober , wine

My daughter, 12 years old, is enrolled in a co-op program for her 6th grade education. It's a really neat idea, especially for children that miss school due to a significant amount of stomach aches and anxiety. She is able to learn from the school part time, which is through the public school district, and the rest at home.

The past several years, I would try to be a rockstar mom during the day for my girls trying to make up for my drunken, slurring, and negligent nightly behavior....
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LoveHateMerlot
Posted in Diary of Wino
Views 650 Comments 1 LoveHateMerlot is offline
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Day 11 - Time Tells

Posted 03-26-2017 at 08:46 PM by LoveHateMerlot (Diary of Wino)
Tags kids , mom , sober , time , wine

Last night around midnight my 12 year old came to wake me up. She was crying, having an emotional break down. Before I went to bed last night, she was up pretty late (being a Sat night) playing Minecraft and Skyping one of her friends. I told her to come wake me up when she was ready for me to tuck her in. After midnight, all of a sudden, she called me, waking me up from a deep sleep. I was so worried I had no idea what was going on. If this happened 12 or more nights ago, I would have 1)...
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LoveHateMerlot
Posted in Diary of Wino
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Old

Day Two - Challenged

Posted 03-17-2017 at 09:00 PM by LoveHateMerlot (Diary of Wino)
Updated 03-18-2017 at 05:32 PM by LoveHateMerlot
Tags day two , mom , sober , wine

I have been on Sober Recovery ALL day like a stalker reading through everyone's heartaches, confessions, pain, guilt, shame and anxiety posts just to get me through day two without you, Merlot. It's bittersweet; I don't feel so alone, but also makes me very sad just how many of us that are out there fighting you monsters. It's St. Patrick's Day today. You and I would usually be together even though everyone else chose green beer. I did cheat on you occasionally with beer or vodka, but it wasn't...
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LoveHateMerlot
Posted in Diary of Wino
Views 491 Comments 0 LoveHateMerlot is offline


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