DAY 57 - Free Bird - SoberRecovery : Alcoholism Drug Addiction Help and Information
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Every day is a new day, that's what I keep telling myself. The struggle is real. I'm in deep with this addiction to wine. I am searching for the answer how to turn it off. I feel lucky if I can keep it down to a daily minimum of just one bottle. I pray to God to take this addiction away. Some days I'm a fighter. Other days are a bit more challenging. Hopefully by putting this out there, starting today, I can find a new hope and believe in myself again.

LoveHateMerlot
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DAY 57 - Free Bird

Posted 02-24-2019 at 07:23 AM by LoveHateMerlot
Tags alcoholism , free , mom , wine , wino

My mood is somewhat stabilizing. I don't feel like I am on a roller coaster of emotions anymore. I don't feel bat sh*t crazy. It was extremely bad in the beginning, especially the first 30 days. I am close to 2 months sober now and not having to plan my days around my depression, anger, anxiety, loneliness and sadness. I am rarely having to fight off childhood memories, I think that's best part of reaching this far. I am able to be intimate with my husband, and actually allow myself to enjoy feeling sexual. My youngest spent the night away, so I initiated our rendezvous yesterday afternoon. As soon as I got out of the shower I went into his office with just a towel, and he was like, "Really you mean it??" Poor guy!

Aside from the moderate alcohol cravings that I am still fighting off with all my might, I feel so free. I went for a 2 mile run yesterday, I haven't ran that fast in years. As I was running yesterday I had a ginormous hawk flying over me for a while. His wings spread out, just gliding without effort through the wind. Blue skies behind him. I felt close to him, like I understood exactly what he was feeling inside. I feel free.
Posted in Diary of Wino
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