Day 41 - Living - SoberRecovery : Alcoholism Drug Addiction Help and Information
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Every day is a new day, that's what I keep telling myself. The struggle is real. I'm in deep with this addiction to wine. I am searching for the answer how to turn it off. I feel lucky if I can keep it down to a daily minimum of just one bottle. I pray to God to take this addiction away. Some days I'm a fighter. Other days are a bit more challenging. Hopefully by putting this out there, starting today, I can find a new hope and believe in myself again.

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Day 41 - Living

Posted 02-08-2019 at 08:03 AM by LoveHateMerlot
Updated 02-09-2019 at 05:20 PM by LoveHateMerlot

Great things are happening since the day I chose to LIVE instead of just EXIST. I have not had one drop of alcohol for 41 days. I have lost a total of 9 pounds since I quit drinking. Relationships are on the mend. I am about to finish my last course today for real estate licensing education, in order to take the my state and national real estate licensing exams. I am doing it! I am accomplishing my goals!

With my medical issues going on, I wish I could be happy and content. I wish I could go for a 3 mile run without thinking that I am jiggling a bunch of cancer cells and spreading it all over my body. (I know, it doesn't work like that.) I don't even know if I have cancer. Am I wasting my time at becoming a real estate agent? What if I find out from my blood work that my liver is not functioning any more or they inform me that I have breast cancer from the biopsy results. I am praying to God that He gives me the time I need to make up for lost, drunken time. Please God, let me stay here just a little longer so I can be the person I always dreamed of becoming.

I have an appointment at 1:30 at Quest Diagnostics today for a blood test, a full test panel. I am doing everything I can right now to just truck on, to move forward, to face any bad news head on. I will fight. I chose to live.
Posted in Diary of Wino
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