Day 18 - Hope! - SoberRecovery : Alcoholism Drug Addiction Help and Information
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Every day is a new day, that's what I keep telling myself. The struggle is real. I'm in deep with this addiction to wine. I am searching for the answer how to turn it off. I feel lucky if I can keep it down to a daily minimum of just one bottle. I pray to God to take this addiction away. Some days I'm a fighter. Other days are a bit more challenging. Hopefully by putting this out there, starting today, I can find a new hope and believe in myself again.

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Day 18 - Hope!

Posted 04-02-2017 at 09:43 PM by LoveHateMerlot
Tags drunk , hope , mom , sober , wine

It's getting better. I am here to tell you it does get better. I'm not ever going to be healed from alcoholism, and now I know that sobriety is the only way to live for an alcoholic. I had quit so many times in the past, and convinced myself that I'm not as bad as other alcoholics (look I have wine in a fancy glass you see) but the truth was 1) I was making excuses to drink again, 2) I could easily get worse than what I was, and 3) there is no spectrum with alcoholism, it's yes or no. It's just the way the wind blows for this gal.

I have noticed that I wake up in the mornings lately, not wondering how I will cope during the night without my wine. The thoughts still pop in my head, throughout the day and night, but it's not as intense for me now. I still get anxiety about going back home to Texas in less than 2 weeks and seeing my girlfriends who love to drink wine. I am going to just tell them before I get there that I am trying to get bikini ready for summer.

I do find myself more cheerful the past couple days, but I did recently increase my Prozac dosage (which I want to get off of completely eventually). I was dealing with some major mood swings the first two weeks, and I read in an article that our brain basically needs that time to reset. So it's absolutely normal to have mood swings. I expected to have mood swings, but did not anticipate completely shutting down some days. I really am hopeful that those first miserable days are behind me now. As long as I stay on track, I won't ever need to repeat those first two weeks. I am so grateful and blessed to have made it to day 18. I am hopeful this is a new way of life for me, for good. I have amazing support from my husband and daughters, I have a fun and supportive Sober Sister that started same time, and I have Sober Recovery community for that extra support.

It's all going to be okay...

Nighty night
Posted in Diary of Wino
Views 494 Comments 0
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