Stayingsassy

I relied on bars for awhile to replace my sugar issues back when I was doing CrossFit. I’d buy the Costco protein bars.

Except: once I bought them, I would eat 8-10 of them in one sitting. I was talking about these bars with my friend one day and I told her I had already eaten seven of them and I was going to get another one. She was shocked. 20g of protein should satiate a person don’t you think? I don’t know what’s going on with me, but my response to food is just nothing short of bizarre.

I am able to eat Greek yogurt, however. Greek yogurt has 23g a cup, I add berries and a zing packet. (Stevia with a little dextrose). I can eat one cup of that and move on. I love it, but I don’t binge on it. Ideal situation

Also, I do not avoid artificial sweeteners. I’m on day 11 and it’s working, so I don’t feel like I need to yet. The sacrifice of that seems monumental, so I’m not touching that.

But dropsie, I admire your attempt to give them up!

Stayingsassy

Alright people, it’s day 11.

Some new twists that have happened:

Yesterday I felt my resolve to avoid using food to cope weakening, work was tough. I didn’t report something important to my overall communication, it was noticed and there was backlash. It was one of those things that wasn’t crucial or major to the outcome, but it make me look stupid. Then I figured I just am stupid, and I thought about all the stupid things I do, have done, and haven’t cleared up and felt really terrible about myself for awhile. But I still didn’t go buy sugar. I just felt it for awhile.

And my weight stabilized for a bit, and i was a little swollen from going back to exercise, which meant of course that I am “fat” and I should just “give up and be fat” and give in to what I want. But I didn’t.

Then, at nighttime I felt a kind of tiredness I don’t usually feel, an all over body bone deep tiredness, and i slept very, very hard. It made me wonder if using binging to cope with life is interfering with sleep in a way that I haven’t realized, could it have something to do with the worsening mental health I felt eating poorly, vs being keto? How much does sleep have to do with all this?

The nutrition with this way of eating is lightyears better than before. When I let myself eat grains, I really just eat grains and dairy. When I change grains for vegetables, I eat so many vegetables it is probably five times what I ate before. I am never going to increase meat consumption, so vegetables it is. My new thing that I love is artichokes, I’ve been eating them daily. I do not count vegetable carbohydrates, so I guess I’m more “lowcarb” than I am “keto.” I don’t really define it I guess. It’s no sugar, and all grains have become vegetables.

Stay strong, friends.

Callas

I may be wrong here but I believe anyone who managed to kick the demon of alcohol into touch will also be able the keep the minor little devils of sugar and carbs at bay. At least, unlike with alcohol, sugar and carbs can be moderated.

Stayingsassy

I sure believed this with all my heart for the last two years. I held on to this for a long, long time. I tried about 14 different ways to do this.

Things got worse. My health suffered, my whole family started gaining weight (especially my husband and youngest daughter), I became depressed, I had to quit my exercise program due to pain and inflammation, weeks went by when I didn’t want to get out of bed, the money spent on processed food was unreal and it was a daily expense....

Seems silly, and I agree it seemed like a compulsion that shouldn’t be a compulsion, but it was.

Wholesome

It's not silly Sassy. I think it's very common and understandable. I have it too. The NEED. The uncomfortable feeling that I'm not right or OK. This winter the anxiety got so bad. I felt like I went from operating at a nice low hummmmm to a EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE all the time. Constant state of panic. I had to start meditating and doing yoga. It was unresolved trauma. I experienced problems and it triggered all the crap that I'd been stuffing down inside my whole life. With nothing to cover them up with anymore, I have no choice, it's got to come out. Or what? I don't want to cover it up anymore. I want to healthy and well. I don't want to punish myself anymore for what wasn't my fault. Whatever was my fault, I'm honestly sorry and ready to make it right.

Do you meditate? I like to use frequencies. I find them very helpful.

Stayingsassy

I’ve done some meditation, but only in yoga. I exercise hard when I feel so terrible and panicky that I’m getting to the “drink or end it all” point. Or I just let myself cry a lot. Exercising has been the only thing that can reset me in a bad place so far. It’s a mind-altering option.

I’ve had others talk to me here on SR about meditation as well. So far, it’s only at the end of yoga that I have entered that state, probably because it’s guided by the teacher. I don’t enter it well on my own.

Tell me more about frequencies.

Wholesome

Here's one I just did. I like that it's female. And another I used a lot when the anxiety was bad. I couldn't get off midnight's and I wasn't ever sleeping right and I felt like I was suffering from adrenal fatigue. I haven't been to work since mid June. I was getting moved every month, and treated like the new person, always having to prove myself and get attitude. I was barely holding on, I felt like I was waking up and driving in to prison. Crying on the way in, crying on the way home, just a total mess. Funny, I was a way better employee when I drank. It was part of the ritual/punishment, I never missed a day.





Yoga is great too. Nothing wrong with a hard cardio workout, but yoga isn't just for fitness, that's an added bonus. Yoga is good for being. It's good to slow down and stretch your body. It's about control and discipline.

Stayingsassy

Interesting you say that, I can’t tell you how many times I have researched adrenal fatigue since getting sober. And I had a better reputation at work when I was drinking also. It was as if getting sober was a total dismantling of the self and I am trying to put the pieces back together in a way that fits.

I find I can’t exhaust myself like I could before, I just don’t have it in me. Stress gets overwhelming when it’s felt all day, all night, every day with no way to check out. I don’t need to prove myself in the ways I needed to before, life had to have a bunch of “props” for the drinking self, in order to be able to continue to drink.

Thank you for the links! So much.

Wholesome

I feel the same way! Like I'm being put back together again, but this time right. I can cry all day, but no matter how much it hurts it also feels so good to let it out. I was saying to someone else it's like that Annie Lennox line, give me the strength to lay my burden down. I've been carrying some of the **** around for so long.

BullDog777

THANK YOU FOR THIS THREAD SASSY!!!!!!!!


Lately, I've been really tired. Like the fight is draining out of me tired. Not sobriety, with fitness and my struggle to keep this weight thing going.

I've hit a nasty plateau.

My therapist keeps telling me that my joints will catch up and it won't always hurt this bad.

I think she's full of s#it.

I'm at a decent weight right now, but i'm still built like a WWE wrestler. I'm a big dude. I need to go from linebacker fit to basketball fit.

The older I get the less my joints are gonna be able to take the weight.

Lately, I've been incline power walking. I put the treadmill on a 9.5 incline and jog at a 3.5-4mph. My knees are about the only thing that doesn't hurt right now.

It helps aggression too.

I think I need a new therapist. She's ok, but she isn't like a good substance abuse counselor or good for anxiety or cognitive therapy. She tends to band aid stuff and try to make excuses for me when i fall short of my expectations when I fail to meet a goal. To me, it seems like I'm living in the problem then. I dunno.

Maybe I'm not giving her a fair shake.

This is the second time I've felt worse coming back from therapy as I did going in. Although she did say that was possible. Maybe I'm overthinking this.

Running, jogging helps.

There's a lot on my plate and I'm trying to offload as much as I can before I disappear back into my art for awhile.

Also, my daughter is growing up too fast. Her 2 cousins who live with us right now took her school shopping Sunday and now she looks like she's 13 going on 19. New hair, clothes, everything. I'm not ready for this.

I feel like I'm raising 3 girls and I don't have any answers for any of them. I'm trying to be a good foster dad and thats hard too. How do you put back together 2 kids whose parents are worthless and keep disappointing them?

I also feel like I'm short on words to help. I can offer a soft place to land and a hug when they need one but I don't know how to keep deflecting the hard questions. Yeah...they picked drugs over you. Yeah, they wanna live like they're 21 even though they've been in prison multiple times. Yeah, this is probably permanent.

Everyone but me are going on another vacation starting Sunday for another week. I need the peace. I need to regroup.

I just kinda feel like I'm running in molasses right now.

Every time I have a melt down and go face first into a bucket of popeyes or a bag of reeses, i always work it off the next day. It's why I'm in soo much pain all the time. I keep binging on junk to fill the anxiety.

Sustained weight loss is hard.

If I never had to eat again, I could do this a lot easier, I think.
The fact that I have to do anything in moderation pisses me off to no end. LOL

Everything in my life has been "all or nothing"...WTF is balance?!?

BullDog777

double post! sorry!

Kaily

Since finally stopping drinking 9.5 months ago I have had a very real problem with sugar.

I can eat normally in the daytime but once I have my dinner all bets are off. It then becomes a compulsion to binge on sugary desserts in ever increasing numbers. I feel excitement, anticipation and sorta bad. So very similar to my drinking thoughts. My fridge is never without my chosen desire. Stocked in advance as I can't be without.

I now wake up in the morning not thinking oh god how much did I drink last night but how much chocolate mouse with cream did I eat last night...

Same guilt/shame different substance.

For me I will never be able to moderate . When I feel I can it will be no more sugar, I am addicted and in my opinion you can't moderate an addiction.

Grymt

This seems like an objective article on sugar addiction : https://articles.mercola.com/sugar-addiction.aspx

"around 75% of packaged foods sold in supermarkets contain added sugar."

For a start, trying to always prepare your own meals from raw products. Use raw vegies and meat. Make your own sauces. Make your own desserts.

Don't eat takeaways.

Not only will this dramatically reduce sugar intake, you'll be doing something wholesome while not eating sugar. That's a good habit to have to counter the habit of indulging.

Sometimes, of course, someone else will have prepared the meal. I think just be gracious and accept that. An occasional unintentional consumption is ok. Just be aware of it. Bringing a mindful awareness into whatever one is doing is a good idea.

Briansy

You learn something new every day. Milk has a LOT of sugar. This is a new revelation for me in my 41st year. I got an iced latte from Starbucks wondering why it had so much sugar - it was the milk. Back to diet coke for me!

murrill

Before sobriety, I could have an occasional sugar treat without over-indulging. Once sober I fell in love with ice cream and rich, late-night desserts. As I settled into a sober life I found the gym, paid attention to whole foods, and remained pretty healthy.
Except that I continued to smoke cigarettes. I finally made a decision to quit--over 12 years smober, now--but I began to binge eat. My pattern was to restrict, lose weight, binge, gain weight, repeat. Last year I finally acknowledged that I have an eating disorder. Therapy has helped, but I am not out of the woods. Sugar is my kryptonite.
I've been "off" sugar for several weeks now. I've done this before, though, and I struggle with whether I must abstain from sugar as I do alcohol. I know that I feel better when I eat fresh vegetables and lean proteins. I've learned a few things: Weight loss is not a reward. I may lose weight as a result of healthy eating, but that is not the way to measure success. I long for a healthy relationship with food. I don't want to anguish over everything I eat, and I don't want to eat my feelings.
Good thread. Thanks for listening.

Bethany57

Wow...this!! I am a big Jeff Galloway fan! Training right now for his half marathon in December.
Thank you for starting this post! Sugar is my worst enemy. I often binge eat I have a food journal now that I record my mood, sleep and food and it does help.

Briansy

Totally get the mental association between those bars and "treat" food. It's satiating protein and low sugar but it doesn't feel like real food and it is so easy to crack out 3 or 4 just like the magnums. Probs best for those with excellent discipline but limited time! Or those who are required to massively increase protein intake due to a weight lifting programme

Dropsie

Lots of great food for thought here (pun not intended but left in).

I also was better at many things when I drank, work included.

My recent self destructive tendencies are not new, but they seem worse. Or maybe I just seem them more after a lot of sober time.

But how to fix them -- my new mantra is the only way out is through. So I am trying to go through but without too much self hatred, not easy.

On the diet front, still on track. Finally saw a little weight loss, which is encouragement.

My problem is that I never really eat much, so it is all about changing what I eat. I know everyone says that, but in my case I never eat more than a third of my plate, usually one meal a day. I did start to have too much sugar, but not crazy.

I started doing Whole 30, but I never lost weight on that, so have moved to Keto.

I really have to lose some weight and start getting in shape, so thanks again for this thread.

Libby06

I laugh at the reference as "minor demons". Perhaps to some they are, for me, not so much. While drinking, I had no desire for candy, ice cream or baked goods. In sobriety, once I touch it, it sets off a craving much like alcohol did. It is baffling to me.

I am addicted to anything that hits the happy, feel good center in my brain. Much like alcohol, it gives me a type of hangover of next day. Once I blow it, I just keep on going, and moderation seems elusive.

I remember laughing when I heard an OA talk about sugar addiction while I was struggling to quit booze. Oh my, how the tides have changed. The struggle is real.

murrill

I agree: These are not "little demons." They are all over the place, luring me into buying them. They are legal. You cannot be arrested for fat driving. Yes, the struggle is real. I could eat a candy bar this morning and be none the worse--for a little while. I suspect that would be just the beginning of some sugar bingeing, though.

Many people believe (and there is science behind it) that hypoglycemia is at the root of alcoholism. I've begun to understand that my sugar compulsion is just one more manifestation of my addictive self. I don't have all the answers (or even some of them) but it helps me to look at it that way.