THANK YOU FOR THIS THREAD SASSY!!!!!!!!
Lately, I've been really tired. Like the fight is draining out of me tired. Not sobriety, with fitness and my struggle to keep this weight thing going.
I've hit a nasty plateau.
My therapist keeps telling me that my joints will catch up and it won't always hurt this bad.
I think she's full of s#it.
I'm at a decent weight right now, but i'm still built like a WWE wrestler. I'm a big dude. I need to go from linebacker fit to basketball fit.
The older I get the less my joints are gonna be able to take the weight.
Lately, I've been incline power walking. I put the treadmill on a 9.5 incline and jog at a 3.5-4mph. My knees are about the only thing that doesn't hurt right now.
It helps aggression too.
I think I need a new therapist. She's ok, but she isn't like a good substance abuse counselor or good for anxiety or cognitive therapy. She tends to band aid stuff and try to make excuses for me when i fall short of my expectations when I fail to meet a goal. To me, it seems like I'm living in the problem then. I dunno.
Maybe I'm not giving her a fair shake.
This is the second time I've felt worse coming back from therapy as I did going in. Although she did say that was possible. Maybe I'm overthinking this.
Running, jogging helps.
There's a lot on my plate and I'm trying to offload as much as I can before I disappear back into my art for awhile.
Also, my daughter is growing up too fast. Her 2 cousins who live with us right now took her school shopping Sunday and now she looks like she's 13 going on 19. New hair, clothes, everything. I'm not ready for this.
I feel like I'm raising 3 girls and I don't have any answers for any of them. I'm trying to be a good foster dad and thats hard too. How do you put back together 2 kids whose parents are worthless and keep disappointing them?
I also feel like I'm short on words to help. I can offer a soft place to land and a hug when they need one but I don't know how to keep deflecting the hard questions. Yeah...they picked drugs over you. Yeah, they wanna live like they're 21 even though they've been in prison multiple times. Yeah, this is probably permanent.
Everyone but me are going on another vacation starting Sunday for another week. I need the peace. I need to regroup.
I just kinda feel like I'm running in molasses right now.
Every time I have a melt down and go face first into a bucket of popeyes or a bag of reeses, i always work it off the next day. It's why I'm in soo much pain all the time. I keep binging on junk to fill the anxiety.
Sustained weight loss is hard.
If I never had to eat again, I could do this a lot easier, I think.
The fact that I have to do anything in moderation pisses me off to no end. LOL
Everything in my life has been "all or nothing"...WTF is balance?!?
