Before sobriety, I could have an occasional sugar treat without over-indulging. Once sober I fell in love with ice cream and rich, late-night desserts. As I settled into a sober life I found the gym, paid attention to whole foods, and remained pretty healthy.
Except that I continued to smoke cigarettes. I finally made a decision to quit--over 12 years smober, now--but I began to binge eat. My pattern was to restrict, lose weight, binge, gain weight, repeat. Last year I finally acknowledged that I have an eating disorder. Therapy has helped, but I am not out of the woods. Sugar is my kryptonite.
I've been "off" sugar for several weeks now. I've done this before, though, and I struggle with whether I must abstain from sugar as I do alcohol. I know that I feel better when I eat fresh vegetables and lean proteins. I've learned a few things: Weight loss is not a reward. I may lose weight as a result of healthy eating, but that is not the way to measure success. I long for a healthy relationship with food. I don't want to anguish over everything I eat, and I don't want to eat my feelings.
Good thread. Thanks for listening.