Health and wellness after sobriety
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Jul 2017
Posts: 3,027
Thank you, allyce.
I don’t even think it’s a matter of my eating disorder returning after getting sober....it’s more that it never went away in the first place. It just morphs depending on my priorities of the month, or the year.
So far, I’m not really a purging type. And my binges can be described more along the heavy overeating kind, rather than the super damaging kinds that cause trauma to the gi tract and heart palpitations,
I love to fast, I always have, even though I know it doesn’t support healthy eating in an eating disordered brain. Right now I am around 70 hours and I feel calm, relaxed, even happy....I’m working out an eating plan for myself that doesn’t involve fasting except in rare circumstances, figuring out how to live with lowcarb paleo long term: as I made the most fitness strides and had the least food cravings on that way of eating....back in 2016-2017, before I gave into a heavy carbohydrate lifestyle after getting sober.
I want to believe, and to KNOW, that I can follow a sane eating plan that allows for holidays and eventful days, while staying sober.
That is my challenge. I’ve never been fit and lean while sober, and I’ve never been fat while drinking..
I just switch modes, over and over and over again.
Having faith that once I do what I need to do to eat correctly without starting drinking again will actually be true sobriety for me. Not just sobriety from alcohol with any crutch I can find: but real sobriety with real peace and calm. I have to believe I can do it. If I don’t believe, it will never happen.
I don’t even think it’s a matter of my eating disorder returning after getting sober....it’s more that it never went away in the first place. It just morphs depending on my priorities of the month, or the year.
So far, I’m not really a purging type. And my binges can be described more along the heavy overeating kind, rather than the super damaging kinds that cause trauma to the gi tract and heart palpitations,
I love to fast, I always have, even though I know it doesn’t support healthy eating in an eating disordered brain. Right now I am around 70 hours and I feel calm, relaxed, even happy....I’m working out an eating plan for myself that doesn’t involve fasting except in rare circumstances, figuring out how to live with lowcarb paleo long term: as I made the most fitness strides and had the least food cravings on that way of eating....back in 2016-2017, before I gave into a heavy carbohydrate lifestyle after getting sober.
I want to believe, and to KNOW, that I can follow a sane eating plan that allows for holidays and eventful days, while staying sober.
That is my challenge. I’ve never been fit and lean while sober, and I’ve never been fat while drinking..
I just switch modes, over and over and over again.
Having faith that once I do what I need to do to eat correctly without starting drinking again will actually be true sobriety for me. Not just sobriety from alcohol with any crutch I can find: but real sobriety with real peace and calm. I have to believe I can do it. If I don’t believe, it will never happen.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jul 2017
Posts: 3,027
Here’s a thought considering the A.V.: never getting a grip on cross addictions in sobriety, and continuing to be miserable, is sort of a safety valve for the Beast.
If we never get well, and never find peace....the beast has a chance.
Finding what ails us and working toward solutions in sobriety is not something my alcohol beast wants me to do. It wants me to look at all the fitness pics from 2017 and whisper in my ear...
“You know you were drinking then. You know you can’t do that without a bottle of whisky by your bed....”
It never dies, it just waits.
If we never get well, and never find peace....the beast has a chance.
Finding what ails us and working toward solutions in sobriety is not something my alcohol beast wants me to do. It wants me to look at all the fitness pics from 2017 and whisper in my ear...
“You know you were drinking then. You know you can’t do that without a bottle of whisky by your bed....”
It never dies, it just waits.
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