Class of June 2011
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,518
Well, PN, I know for me I had to put some distance between me and my folks...the relationship was toxic, although different to yours - but I used that situation to drink on many a time....
Hope you can work it out.
D
Hope you can work it out.
D
Member
Join Date: Sep 2009
Location: BoulderCo
Posts: 111
Papa - You can do this. And hey just because you slipped up doesn't mean you'll lose touch with all of us. None of us are going anywhere. If you need support I know my PM box will always be open, even if you end up being in the July class, and I'm sure the same goes for everyone else. Keep your head up, things will be ok.
Not to steal your thunder but parents are a nightmare. So I talked my dad into coming over for dinner instead of going out. He came over high. He's been smoking weed for as long as I can remember and never thinking it's a problem because as he puts it he's "an old hippie and smoking weed is just what he does." He also brought a 6 pack of beer and when I told him I wasn't drinking he said that it was artisan beer and it didn't count as alcohol.
So then we had dinner and I didn't drink. Then because I didn't drink he decided I was pregnant. Which I'm not, but he won't listen to a single word I say. He's a mess and he's the only family I have so I don't want to cut him out of my life. But I don't know what to do with him.
Not to steal your thunder but parents are a nightmare. So I talked my dad into coming over for dinner instead of going out. He came over high. He's been smoking weed for as long as I can remember and never thinking it's a problem because as he puts it he's "an old hippie and smoking weed is just what he does." He also brought a 6 pack of beer and when I told him I wasn't drinking he said that it was artisan beer and it didn't count as alcohol.
So then we had dinner and I didn't drink. Then because I didn't drink he decided I was pregnant. Which I'm not, but he won't listen to a single word I say. He's a mess and he's the only family I have so I don't want to cut him out of my life. But I don't know what to do with him.
instant
Join Date: May 2011
Location: Australia
Posts: 5,711
I see it's not just me with family issues. I still struggle to minimise the impact- but sometimes we do have to set limits to protect ourselves. Somene told me about a book of how to deal with toxic people but I forget the title other than it had "toxic" in it.
Papa Nico don't fret we are all part of the club- it's a journey not a destination.
Papa Nico don't fret we are all part of the club- it's a journey not a destination.
Member
Join Date: Aug 2010
Posts: 41
Papa Nico, I hear you.. tensions with family led me to drink many times. One thing that helped me greatly in deciding to quit (not that I am a paragon of anything, being on day 2) was reading Edward Khantzian's books - he explains pretty well the dynamics related to drinking as a "solution" to underlying psychological tensions, and once I started framing my habit in terms of a palliative remedy to stuff that might be solved without killing myself in the process I found new motivation. This said, I second the poster who said that it's a journey, not a destination - don't waste any time feeling ashamed of yourself, just pick yourself up and try again, we all make mistakes and we will make mistakes over and over again, but we're still trying and that's what counts.
My first sober night wasn't particularly exciting, I woke up after some 5 hours of sleep because the air conditioning made the room too cold (something I never noticed when sleeping the booze off), then I couldn't settle so now I'm feeling pretty battered. Off for a day at the lake with two friends, which is going to include a dry lunch - I kind of cringe at the thought, of course I wish I could have a bottle of wine and sleep it off on the waterfront, but I'm absolutely NOT going to do that. Well, the sleeping sounds like a good idea, but the drinking doesn't. Talk to y'all later!
My first sober night wasn't particularly exciting, I woke up after some 5 hours of sleep because the air conditioning made the room too cold (something I never noticed when sleeping the booze off), then I couldn't settle so now I'm feeling pretty battered. Off for a day at the lake with two friends, which is going to include a dry lunch - I kind of cringe at the thought, of course I wish I could have a bottle of wine and sleep it off on the waterfront, but I'm absolutely NOT going to do that. Well, the sleeping sounds like a good idea, but the drinking doesn't. Talk to y'all later!
Member
Join Date: Jun 2011
Location: Germany, Berlin
Posts: 54
I guess it's time for me to check in here as well. Did not really notice this thread until earlier today and started to read up a bit.
I am on day 10 now, double digits... yay! Cleaning the appartment, feeling like drinking (I hate weekends, way too much time for me, ugh) again. I have plans for later today, so I just need to get through like two more hours of this... I guess I'll make it!
Warm welcome to aneeda and shadesofgray as well.
Oh and CherryD, love the avatar! Can't wait for the new season of True Blood later this month!
I've been all hyped since seeing a few of the teaser trailers.
I am on day 10 now, double digits... yay! Cleaning the appartment, feeling like drinking (I hate weekends, way too much time for me, ugh) again. I have plans for later today, so I just need to get through like two more hours of this... I guess I'll make it!
Warm welcome to aneeda and shadesofgray as well.
Oh and CherryD, love the avatar! Can't wait for the new season of True Blood later this month!
I've been all hyped since seeing a few of the teaser trailers.
Member
Join Date: Apr 2011
Posts: 200
PapaNico, good job bouncing right back. You recognized your drink trigger and will figure out a way to deal with it. My drink trigger is the sight of the Atlantic City or Las Vegas skyline at night. Note to self: avoid gambling cities.
My relationship with my parents improved immensely when it took planning a trip on either of our parts to see each other.....
10 days behind me now since the relapse, day 6 of Paxil. Feeling purty good, nice run in and Fathers' Day sentiments.
Onward and forward.....
My relationship with my parents improved immensely when it took planning a trip on either of our parts to see each other.....
10 days behind me now since the relapse, day 6 of Paxil. Feeling purty good, nice run in and Fathers' Day sentiments.
Onward and forward.....
Member
Join Date: Jun 2011
Posts: 426
Hi Classmates - Happy Fathers Day to all and Welcome Aneeda and Shadesofgray!
Families can definitely wear away at our sanity - I think that's a given as we grow older. I know mine does - which is why I distanced myself from them when I was 17. (My mom and I still have a great relationship - we are just far away from each other which is probably why we get along
CherryD I'm sorry about your dad showing up in that state. And I completely understand with the pregnancy questions. I get them all the time and it gets tiresome to have to explain that "NO, I'm just not drinking - I'M NOT PREGNANT". People and their assumptions drive me nuts sometimes.
Yesterday was my first day (Day 15 here) where I was seriously antsy. Saturdays usually consist of going out to lunch, having some wine, and having more wine throughout the day and with dinner, etc. It was coffee and iced tea, which is fine, but I can't say I wasn't antsy. The first week wasn't bad but I think I'm really starting to notice the effect of not drinking now. I'm not unhappy, just out of my "comfort zone" and realizing it. Without you guys I prob would have caved. I know I'm still fragile and vulnerable so I'm taking things very slowly and deliberately - one day at a time. Every night when I go to sleep I am grateful for having another day sober.
Hope everyone has a great day! Hot as heck here in TX.
Families can definitely wear away at our sanity - I think that's a given as we grow older. I know mine does - which is why I distanced myself from them when I was 17. (My mom and I still have a great relationship - we are just far away from each other which is probably why we get along
CherryD I'm sorry about your dad showing up in that state. And I completely understand with the pregnancy questions. I get them all the time and it gets tiresome to have to explain that "NO, I'm just not drinking - I'M NOT PREGNANT". People and their assumptions drive me nuts sometimes.
Yesterday was my first day (Day 15 here) where I was seriously antsy. Saturdays usually consist of going out to lunch, having some wine, and having more wine throughout the day and with dinner, etc. It was coffee and iced tea, which is fine, but I can't say I wasn't antsy. The first week wasn't bad but I think I'm really starting to notice the effect of not drinking now. I'm not unhappy, just out of my "comfort zone" and realizing it. Without you guys I prob would have caved. I know I'm still fragile and vulnerable so I'm taking things very slowly and deliberately - one day at a time. Every night when I go to sleep I am grateful for having another day sober.
Hope everyone has a great day! Hot as heck here in TX.
Member
Join Date: Jun 2011
Location: Toronto ON
Posts: 1,180
Just checking in...Day 7 for me today. I've had am amazing day so far...the kids made me bacon, toasted bagel and bowl of lucky charms for breakfast! I went and played a game of squash late morning and played well...won 3-0. Beautiful day in Toronto..sunny and hot and I'm beside our pool watching my youngest swim. Later today we have a Father's day party for my father in law...that will be a bit of a test for me as I will be offered a drink and will have to say no.
I can't really tell you how great a sleep I had last night...no way to put it into words. No way to tell you how peaceful I felt waking up this morning. No way to tell you how good it feels to not be hungover.
Have a great day everyone. happy Fathers Day to all you fathers out there!
I can't really tell you how great a sleep I had last night...no way to put it into words. No way to tell you how peaceful I felt waking up this morning. No way to tell you how good it feels to not be hungover.
Have a great day everyone. happy Fathers Day to all you fathers out there!
Member
Join Date: Jun 2011
Location: Rocky Mountains
Posts: 6
Thanks for all the warm welcome messages. This is truly helpful as I begin Day 2. Sunday is normally a big drinking day for me so I'm working hard to stay busy although all I can think about it being sober. Which I suppose is much better than focused on how I should be drinking.
I had terrible nightmares and incredibly vivid dreams last night. I woke up this morning with a headache and nausea. My body is a little achy but I took some Advil and that seemed to help. Any suggestions on the best food to eat right now would be much appreciated.
Also, Happy Father's day to all of the Dads on this site.
I had terrible nightmares and incredibly vivid dreams last night. I woke up this morning with a headache and nausea. My body is a little achy but I took some Advil and that seemed to help. Any suggestions on the best food to eat right now would be much appreciated.
Also, Happy Father's day to all of the Dads on this site.
Member
Join Date: Apr 2011
Location: CO.
Posts: 141
If you can find really good healthy food, that is what I suggest. I usually don't eat very much when I drink, so my body really seems to appreciate a wholesome meal. Typically I go for something like salmon for the main course and have a couple of sides such as a veggie and a starch. The most important thing is to get hydrated, if you feel like your body can't handle straight liquid, melons typically do the job, plus they taste great right around this time of year.
I really appreciate all the support and extra advice my classmates here have given me. I want to do my best to make sure I am allied with this group for a long, long time.
It has been a great Father's Day weekend, I hope all of you can say the same. I am getting ready to set up for a little barbeque with the wife and kid, so I must keep things brief. The important things are maintaining sobriety and making the fam happy. The house has been rid of all things evil and we have got quite the spread as far as food goes, so it looks good. Got some good exercise in today at the ballgame, so it is time to reload so the kid and I can go for a nice long run tomorrow!
Thanks again for the support SR & Juners!
I really appreciate all the support and extra advice my classmates here have given me. I want to do my best to make sure I am allied with this group for a long, long time.
It has been a great Father's Day weekend, I hope all of you can say the same. I am getting ready to set up for a little barbeque with the wife and kid, so I must keep things brief. The important things are maintaining sobriety and making the fam happy. The house has been rid of all things evil and we have got quite the spread as far as food goes, so it looks good. Got some good exercise in today at the ballgame, so it is time to reload so the kid and I can go for a nice long run tomorrow!
Thanks again for the support SR & Juners!
Member
Join Date: Jun 2011
Location: Germany, Berlin
Posts: 54
Howdy!
How's everyone? Just got back from my morning run, getting ready for work. Day 11!
aneeda: Great you made it through the day without drinking! I think it would be next to impossible to me right now to spend time with drinkers, but everyone's different. Take good care of yourself!
I'll be back after work... without any cravings, hopefully!
How's everyone? Just got back from my morning run, getting ready for work. Day 11!
aneeda: Great you made it through the day without drinking! I think it would be next to impossible to me right now to spend time with drinkers, but everyone's different. Take good care of yourself!
I'll be back after work... without any cravings, hopefully!
instant
Join Date: May 2011
Location: Australia
Posts: 5,711
Had to address a group of 15 strangers today at work. I thought I handled the lead up pretty well. I was out of my depth and it went better than I thought it would. I did not really remember, until afterwards but a feeling of "being judged", and being "inadequate" has been an issue for me over the years. Over the last few years it got worse in the context of drinking, hangovers, efforts to conceal, maintain public appearance etc. Today, it is Monday, I am sober, without a hangover. I think I might have grown a bit. The "negative" predictions before the event were unfounded- my audience were very charitable.
One minute at a time
Take care all.
One minute at a time
Take care all.
Member
Join Date: Jun 2011
Posts: 426
Hey guys! Great job Aneeda - being around drinkers on day 2 is quite a situation. You are very strong!!!
I have noticed (and have read as well) that even though I was consuming a ton of calories in wine I was really not eating that much. Now, I love eating. But I don't want to gain any weight. I've started working out but I'll tell you some of the foods I always keep around. Sugar free jello, yogurt, strawberries, apples, gummi bears (my downfall), lots and lots of sugar free iced tea (but I dilute it quite a bit). I also have microwave popcorn (the healthier stuff - smart balance), rice cakes, salad ingredients, and cans of healthier soup. I like spicy stuff so baked chips and salsa along with siracha sauce on everything. Anything that is healthy and readily available to keep my mind off the booze. And I had forgotten how great cheerios are!!!
I have also allowed myself a Coke (real deal) when I go out for dinner. I LOVE coke but switched to diet many years back. WOW - what a treat. And drinking lots and lots of water or diluted iced tea really keeps my drinking mind satiated.
Keep up the good work! Today is day 16 and I started out last week a little daunted but made it through. Ready to tackle it again. Have a great Monday and report back!!!
I have noticed (and have read as well) that even though I was consuming a ton of calories in wine I was really not eating that much. Now, I love eating. But I don't want to gain any weight. I've started working out but I'll tell you some of the foods I always keep around. Sugar free jello, yogurt, strawberries, apples, gummi bears (my downfall), lots and lots of sugar free iced tea (but I dilute it quite a bit). I also have microwave popcorn (the healthier stuff - smart balance), rice cakes, salad ingredients, and cans of healthier soup. I like spicy stuff so baked chips and salsa along with siracha sauce on everything. Anything that is healthy and readily available to keep my mind off the booze. And I had forgotten how great cheerios are!!!
I have also allowed myself a Coke (real deal) when I go out for dinner. I LOVE coke but switched to diet many years back. WOW - what a treat. And drinking lots and lots of water or diluted iced tea really keeps my drinking mind satiated.
Keep up the good work! Today is day 16 and I started out last week a little daunted but made it through. Ready to tackle it again. Have a great Monday and report back!!!
Member
Join Date: Jun 2011
Location: Toronto ON
Posts: 1,180
Day 8 for me. Made it through the weekend! Woo hoo!
Went for a run this morning - 8.9 km in 40:36 - just over 4.5 mins/km. This is very quick for me. I did the same run on Saturday in 45 mins - big difference.
2 years ago I trained for a half marathon and really cut down on drinking for that summer to train. I ended up running it in 1:40:35 basically the same pace that I did my run in this morning. It feels good to be back to that pace in just 8 days of not drinking...
Went for a run this morning - 8.9 km in 40:36 - just over 4.5 mins/km. This is very quick for me. I did the same run on Saturday in 45 mins - big difference.
2 years ago I trained for a half marathon and really cut down on drinking for that summer to train. I ended up running it in 1:40:35 basically the same pace that I did my run in this morning. It feels good to be back to that pace in just 8 days of not drinking...
Member
Join Date: Sep 2010
Posts: 711
This June group is really great! It's nice to see a bunch of folks carrying each other along during a low point and celebrating all the small to large daily victories in sobriety! Thanks for posting where you are in your journey! I hope everyone has a successful and safe day out there. Working on Day #24 here~~quit the booze and cigs on the same date.
Guest
Join Date: Nov 2010
Posts: 3,452
Hello everyone. I had 4 months of sobriety, and returned to drinking. I am on day 3 now with a return to my AA program and sobriety. Looking forward to being with you here at SR, and helping eachother.
There Is A Solution
"We feel that elimination of our drinking is but a beginning."
There Is A Solution
"We feel that elimination of our drinking is but a beginning."
Member
Join Date: Aug 2010
Location: san fernando valley, CA
Posts: 183
Congradulations to everyone who was so strong and made it through the weekend. A holiday weekend no less...
I unfortunately wasn't that strong. It is stupid, but I was weak. I will do better this week and weekend.
I unfortunately wasn't that strong. It is stupid, but I was weak. I will do better this week and weekend.
Member
Join Date: Sep 2010
Posts: 711
Welcome Veritas1 - your back here and active so that has to count for something.
scared1 - don't give up the good fight. Take it for what it is: a fight~~who knows how many rounds you'll have to go? It helped me to remember the times that I was weak so I could learn from it and get come out the better for it.
I like to remember good stuff I read here when I started out like HALT:
Hungry
Angry
Lonely
Tired
If I feel cravings or start having thoughts I look at those first to see what's going on with me. Those are common triggers.
scared1 - don't give up the good fight. Take it for what it is: a fight~~who knows how many rounds you'll have to go? It helped me to remember the times that I was weak so I could learn from it and get come out the better for it.
I like to remember good stuff I read here when I started out like HALT:
Hungry
Angry
Lonely
Tired
If I feel cravings or start having thoughts I look at those first to see what's going on with me. Those are common triggers.
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