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Old 05-21-2010, 12:51 PM
  # 421 (permalink)  
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Hi, Nancy welcome to SR. Glad to see that you are trying or wanting to quit alcohol. Hope that you have a support group, because if you do not SR is the place to be. Be glad that you do have another day 1. I have had many day 1's,
just started day 1 on the 16th of May. Just keep coming back.

Artsoul and Traderjane you both have some good posts. TraderJane I hope things are looking up.

Thanks
Dean
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Old 05-21-2010, 05:04 PM
  # 422 (permalink)  
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Day 7 and first sober matrimonial in a long, long time

Yep, it was bound to happen but it still hurts.

This is our seventh day sober and we had our first sober matrimonial in a long, long time. No it was not about drinking, that part is settled but maybe we need to set some long lost boundaries. I know I do.
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Old 05-21-2010, 05:10 PM
  # 423 (permalink)  
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Thanks, Dean. I'm actually depressed tonight and not sure why. I'm usually a pretty happy person, in spite of everything. Maybe it's good that I'm depressed because I'm dealing with some emotions I have instead of masking them. Does anyone ever feel depressed and not know why? Sorry, I'm rambling!

Well, I'm not drinking tonight. I guess that is one thing to be happy about. Maybe things will look brighter in the morning.

Margaret -- your post put a smile to my face (thank you!) Does "matrimonial" mean what I think it means? I call it something else -- a lot less tactful. LOL, I'm making myself laugh (so that is good.)

I'll check in later, friends!
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Old 05-21-2010, 05:24 PM
  # 424 (permalink)  
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Oops! I re-read your post, Margaret, and now think that "matrimonial" might mean something else like "fight." If that's so, sorry about that!!! Where are you from? I'm not familiar with that word being used as a noun!
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Old 05-21-2010, 05:30 PM
  # 425 (permalink)  
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Originally Posted by traderjane View Post
Thanks, Dean. I'm actually depressed tonight and not sure why. I'm usually a pretty happy person, in spite of everything. Maybe it's good that I'm depressed because I'm dealing with some emotions I have instead of masking them. Does anyone ever feel depressed and not know why? Sorry, I'm rambling!

Well, I'm not drinking tonight. I guess that is one thing to be happy about. Maybe things will look brighter in the morning.

Margaret -- your post put a smile to my face (thank you!) Does "matrimonial" mean what I think it means? I call it something else -- a lot less tactful. LOL, I'm making myself laugh (so that is good.)

I'll check in later, friends!
Being depressed to me is usually about something I'm not aware off. It's when it comes out (Like in a matrimonial meltdown that I become aware of it)

Then I become aware that it's anger or sadness or something else I'd rather not feel. Alcohol is of course great in that it helps you avoid unpleasant feelings except of course that it's better to feel things and deal with them.

This whole week I had this depressed feeling about "do I want to be married to this man any more". Now I know I was just damn angry with him. . Funny enough now that I have aired that feeling I feel a whole lot better about the marriage (We've been together for 23 years). Go figure.
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Old 05-21-2010, 05:36 PM
  # 426 (permalink)  
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Originally Posted by traderjane View Post
Oops! I re-read your post, Margaret, and now think that "matrimonial" might mean something else like "fight." If that's so, sorry about that!!! Where are you from? I'm not familiar with that word being used as a noun!
No worries traderjane. Matrimonials are a way of life here. You don't stay married and happy unless you do.

Here in New Zealand it means having a fight of glorious proportions. And this one was a klanger. :rotfxko.

I'm in my bedroom and he's trying to install our new fireplace and he better be otherwise he's going to be very cold on the couch tonight.
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Old 05-21-2010, 05:49 PM
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Sorry about that, Margaret --- fights are no fun, but I guess necessary at times in a marriage. My ex-husband and I never fought... and that wasn't healthy either. We ended up divorced and disconnected.

So funny about the difference in language. I lived in the UK for two years and was amazed at how many of the terms had different meanings and different things were called different things. When I came back to the states, had to re-adjust all over again. Not to mention the driving on the left hand side of the road!

Yeah, not sure where this depression is coming from. A little bit of a feeling of "not having anything to look forward to." I think with a good night's sleep it may go away. But you are right -- many of us (including me) have used alcohol to mask or dull sad or lonely feelings. I'm not doing that tonight --- going to plow right through them instead of around them.

I hope the rest of the May Flowers are doing well tonight!

Laura
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Old 05-21-2010, 06:00 PM
  # 428 (permalink)  
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Originally Posted by traderjane View Post
Sorry about that, Margaret --- fights are no fun, but I guess necessary at times in a marriage. My ex-husband and I never fought... and that wasn't healthy either. We ended up divorced and disconnected.

So funny about the difference in language. I lived in the UK for two years and was amazed at how many of the terms had different meanings and different things were called different things. When I came back to the states, had to re-adjust all over again. Not to mention the driving on the left hand side of the road!

Yeah, not sure where this depression is coming from. A little bit of a feeling of "not having anything to look forward to." I think with a good night's sleep it may go away. But you are right -- many of us (including me) have used alcohol to mask or dull sad or lonely feelings. I'm not doing that tonight --- going to plow right through them instead of around them.

I hope the rest of the May Flowers are doing well tonight!

Laura
Yep, tiredness can do that for you.

Funny, He seems to feel a lot better about the marriage too! Maybe I should more. LOL.

Oh and don't worry about the fighting bit I can tell you hilarious stories about
fights throughout our almost quarter of a century lasting union. The best once were always sober and the once we had while drunk are without a doubt the most forget worthy.
We even had a rule: No fighting while drunk, if it is something we really need to talk about than it has to be sober. For drunks we where quite sensible really. :rotfxko.

We even had a spare bed for when, mostly my husband, forgot the golden rule and he went of a the deep end (Never physically and always very drama queen) he never remembered why he was angry.

Fireplace almost installed by the way.
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Old 05-21-2010, 06:02 PM
  # 429 (permalink)  
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I find the more I deal *with* feelings, the less likely I am to feel that impulse for a drink to run away *from* them...

It's kinda cool.

D

Last edited by Dee74; 05-21-2010 at 06:41 PM. Reason: oops
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Old 05-21-2010, 06:37 PM
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Originally Posted by Margareth View Post
once
= ones. Deuh
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Old 05-21-2010, 06:54 PM
  # 431 (permalink)  
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Traderjane I am actually feeling just the opposite. With everything that I got going on and a lot to lose I do not really feel too much of anything right now laughed a lot today and feel pretty happy, matter of fact all day. An addiction specialist prescribed seroquel(?) 50mg's xr for sleep and to help with my mood or depression. Not to sure if it is for depression at such a low dose but I slept good last night. I turned my statement in today. Was a little nervous but nothing like yesterday, now it is just a waiting game.
Its been 6 days maybe that pink cloud thing not sure. The wife made a few comments prior to me leaving for a meeting. Came home and changed my clothes the next thing I know door slammed and there goes the van. I know I am putting her through a lot right because my history of drinking and now some very serious/possible changes that might come. (hope that made sense).
Well glad to hear you are not drinking, that's great. Well need to get the little ones in bed. Friday night let them watch Thomas the train.
Dean
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Old 05-21-2010, 08:40 PM
  # 432 (permalink)  
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Hey all - Hope all the MayFlowers are beginning their weekend sober! We really can get through our rough times. Actually, we have to, or we'll be starting all over again. Thanks for the post Dee. It's so true.

I'm so proud of you for hanging in there and feeling your feelings, trader. My evening fell kinda flat (don't know if I say I was depressed, but it's like me to crave excitement/happiness, which makes me a good addict). I must say, though, that I am very proud of myself for staying sober to this point, and so grateful to SR and especially everyone on this thread.

Went to a meeting in the chat room tonight and hung around for a bit. It was something a little different to do. Tomorrow I'm going out of town for the day, so hold down the fort while I'm gone, OK?

Glad you're seeing an addiction specialist, dkay - that's awesome. How was it? Did he/she talk to you much? I'd love to hear more on that.

I get a kick out of your posts, Margareth. Hope your hubby gets that fire going!

NIGHTY NIGHT, AND HAVE A WONDERFUL CLEAR-HEADED SOBER MORNING
EVERYONE!!
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Old 05-22-2010, 05:32 AM
  # 433 (permalink)  
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O yeah: day 19. Who'd've thought it? I'm going to two meetings today. Have a fine day, if you can.
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Old 05-22-2010, 05:45 AM
  # 434 (permalink)  
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Hi Norther - it's nice to be up bright and early, huh? You have a good day as well. Day 19 is fantastic!! I'm on day 22 and I'm amazed, too. I really can't believe it's been that long. The first 2 or 3 days seemed like months, though!
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Old 05-22-2010, 08:27 AM
  # 435 (permalink)  
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All is well on this side of the world! Hope everyone has a very nice sober weekend!
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Old 05-22-2010, 08:39 AM
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Hi ArtSoul and everybody...

This time (10:30am) last Saturday I was so sick from alcohol poison that I couldn't leave my bed in 2 days. I didn't eat anything in 2 days, and I was feeling so guilty and depressed.

That morning I decided to quit. I have tried before (for no more than few weeks), but I have never been so sick and tired of alcohol in my life. This time has to work. This time I have this group.

I know it's been only 7 days, but I feel better mentally and physically already.

Last drink May 15, 2010.

Thanks.

RGO.
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Old 05-22-2010, 09:14 AM
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Welcome to our club RGO
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Old 05-22-2010, 09:36 AM
  # 438 (permalink)  
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RGO welcome
Norther congrats.
Dean
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Old 05-22-2010, 09:38 AM
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Welcome RGO!!!

I woke up feeling much better. A good (sober) night's sleep can do wonders.

I already took my son to tennis lessons, am going to tidy up the house and do laundry, then hope to go on a bike ride with my daughter. I am also planning to go to the grocery store and pick up some steaks. I got a new grill and want to try it out tonight. I'm thinking steak, sauteed broccoli w/ garlic and chocolate cake for dessert.

I seemed to have this weird funky day yesterday with a breakthrough moment as in therapy. It was probably all good for me!

Happy Saturday to all.
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Old 05-22-2010, 12:49 PM
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Hi everybody. Glad to hear that your weekends are starting off well!

Day 6 and I've already accomplished more in a few hours than I usually do all weekend due to drinking and the apathy that accompanies it. I woke up NOT hungover, went to the bank, cleaned my bedroom in the apartment (felt good to clear out the hidden empties and old junk) and did two loads of laundry. Soon I'll be off to buy some groceries, which I've needed to do for about 2 weeks. Feeling good so far...not gonna lie and say the large iced coffee from Dunkin' Donuts didn't help!

Just wanted to share. See you all around!

Abby
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