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Old 05-19-2010, 05:45 AM
  # 381 (permalink)  
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Good morning! So nice to wake up without a hangover. I could get used to this (and am!!) Day 5...

I had a drinking dream last night. I dreamt that I was hanging out with my co-workers partying and drinking wine. I woke up this morning with a vague feeling that I had done something bad. Then I remembered my dream. Phew.... just a dream.

I am taking the week off from work this week since my au pair is on vacation. I hope to get in a yoga class this morning then the usual errands and stuff. Hope everyone is doing well.
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Old 05-19-2010, 08:14 AM
  # 382 (permalink)  
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I am on Day 3. Very fatigued at night, but I hope that changes soon.
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Old 05-19-2010, 08:44 AM
  # 383 (permalink)  
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On day 6 ....very strong cravings...horrific nightmares last night...so vivid and real...couldn't log on here earlier but ...wow...gonna be a long day...stay strong all...I am NOT giving in !
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Old 05-19-2010, 10:48 AM
  # 384 (permalink)  
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On day 4 now. Had a good meeting last night. Slept good until my youngest child started his little fit about having the tv and having his milk in his bed. I do not know where he gets energy. Been trying to catch up on posts. Well unfortunately I had several relapse and went through hell with the withdrawals. From my own personal experiences the first 6 days were the hardest. No appetite, sleep, anxiety, depression, and weird/nightmares. The most IMPORTANT THING is see your doctor and be honest. It took a long time for to be honest actually this past Dec, I would leave out the alcohol problem because they would prescribe pills for anxiety, so I began to substitute the alcohol with the pills for anxiety. And after awhile I went back to drinking and using the pills. My life went to hell after that.Visits to rehab centers, I would eventually come around get back to meetings for several months and one time up to year clean. Well I drifted away from my meetings and never got a sponsor. Well the same thing happened again, again, again and again. I think there is six of them in there. So here I am losing everything I have. Please read these boards, go to AA and get a sponsor. What I need to work on is calling my sponsor when I have the urge, or even my wife or friend. That darn self will, and wanting to drink.
Thanks
Dean
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Old 05-19-2010, 10:55 AM
  # 385 (permalink)  
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KofNY hang in there, if you can see a doctor for the withdrawals they can be deadly. Let me know how you are doing, stay in touch.
Dean
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Old 05-19-2010, 03:49 PM
  # 386 (permalink)  
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morning of the 5th day

Just woke up from my first sleep in days. Stoned as a cannon. (No not from drugs) Thank God. Lots of wild dreams. Called hubby he had the same.

He'll come home tonight and will have 10 days of holiday which we are going to use to make our home more winter resistant and work on the veggie patch and some nice relaxing stuff like get mussels from the rocks and eat them. LOL.

Both of us very motivated to do this.

I'm so glad I found all of youse because now we can give up the role of being each others sponsor inevitably leading to being each others enabler.

I'm also grateful that our whole social network is basically non alcoholic but still happy to take us as we are, with or without, which makes it easy because we don't have to fight off peer pressure.

That with the odd ex alcie thrown in who knows what we are going through.

Looking at some of the stories here I realise how blessed I am to have this incredibly healing and nourishing environment while five years ago we both lived in a nasty dysfunctional one (Advertisement and film).

KoNY and Insaneheart I wish I could send you some of that to help you with your struggle but maybe a post like this does a little bit.
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Old 05-19-2010, 06:58 PM
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It does a lot Margareth..Thank you.
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Old 05-19-2010, 07:24 PM
  # 388 (permalink)  
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Hey Margareth and Kingofny ... I had some pretty wild dreams and bunch of ENDLESS sleepless nights that didnt go away until around day eight. Soon your heads are going to hit the pillow and your going to be gone in like three minutes. It's really great...hope you look forward to it.
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Old 05-19-2010, 07:29 PM
  # 389 (permalink)  
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Hang in there, King and InsaneHeart - It sucks, I know, but just keep your last hangover in the front of your mind. It won't suck forever, and you're not alone. We're on the road together toward healing, but it's going to take a bit of time for our systems to readjust themselves. Be good to yourselves and remember "Easy Does It." InsaneHeart - love, love your avatar! That is too cool.

So glad to hear you're so upbeat, Margareth! And glad you and your husband are standing strong together. Kinda makes me want to eat some bacon, haha!! Keep up the good work. You, too dkay! Every day sober is a successful day.

I had a decent day today. My energy level is coming back now, so that's encouraging. I may have to make some lists of things to do pretty soon, as I feel stronger. I have more time now, too, since I'm not spending the whole morning in bed feeling ill anymore. But I'm not pushing myself - I'm trying to enjoy getting to know myself again. Good grief, I'm already finding it hard to believe I let it get so bad. I still have cravings after 19 days, but like Norther said, they're losing some of their power. Still, I have to remind myself almost hourly of the reasons I am choosing not to drink today. Whatever it takes, right friends?

Applause to all the MayFlowers out there who are sober tonight! We will thank ourselves in the morning!!!!
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Old 05-19-2010, 08:01 PM
  # 390 (permalink)  
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This is my first post and I have been sober for 17 days. I just wanted to post something, it's not like me to lurk around. I have had a lot of the same feelings/issues as a lot of posters. Hard to deal with certain situations, how friends and family are taking it, weekends etc. So far though this is the longest I have gone without a drink since High School.

2 things that seems out of the ordinary. I get very tired in the afternoon and at night. I didn't expect it. The second thing is how great my wife's family was this past weekend. No one asked me to drink or bugged me about it. On the other hand my closest couple friends are not taking it well. They are acting like my choice had anything to do with them. They sort of lectured me for 20 minutes on why I am not an alcoholic, how I should not be hard on myself if I drink, and they compared it to other "fads" I have tried (like vegetarianism etc.). It kind of blew me away. I know I wasn't drinking all day and vomiting on people, but I was drinking almost everyday. I think I know my thoughts better than them.

Thanks to all of the people who post here. It gives me some hope and also reminds me how easy it is to relapse.

Collin
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Old 05-19-2010, 08:07 PM
  # 391 (permalink)  
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CAVED...............

Sorry guys, carry on my friends!
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Old 05-19-2010, 08:21 PM
  # 392 (permalink)  
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Hi trader - I'm sending hugs your way - I hope you catch them! Do you know what triggered it? Did anything happen before you "caved?" I just want you to know you're a great person, and you're special to me, so don't give up on yourself, ya hear?:day6 I've disappointed myself a gazillion times. It just goes to show how strong addiction can be. Keep the faith.....
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Old 05-19-2010, 08:28 PM
  # 393 (permalink)  
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Collin - glad you're joining us and congrats on 17 days. You'll find alot of support and understanding here at SR. Glad your family is supportive, too. Too bad you're friends aren't, but what do they know? The probably just don't want to loose their drinking buddy. When I think about all my drinking friends now, I have to wonder if someday they'll have a problem, too. In the end, though, all we have to worry about is what WE need and want out of our lives. You're making the right choice!
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Old 05-19-2010, 09:09 PM
  # 394 (permalink)  
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Hi traderjane ... That first week is really the worst and even though you slipped up, tomorrow is a new day! Stay with us and by the end of the month it will seem like a tiny blip and you will be feeling so much better.

I also agree with Art, llet us know about your experience, it will really help all of us... Please, please share.
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Old 05-19-2010, 09:25 PM
  # 395 (permalink)  
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Welcome, Collin, good to have you here While most of my friends are supportive, when I first quit one of my closest friends and major ex-drinking buddy was adamant that I wasn't an alcoholic and that my attempts to quit were foolish. He went as far to say I would be drinking again in a few days once I understood the error of my ways. It's tough but at this point anyone who doesn't respect my decision to quit drinking can pack their bags and go along their merry way. I hope your friends see that this is your decision and an incredibly brave and healthy decision at that. Welcome to the MayFlowers.

TraderJane, happens to the best of us. If I had a quarter every time I slipped up, I'd never have to worry about toll booths again. Keep posting and stay with us. You're good people.
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Old 05-19-2010, 10:04 PM
  # 396 (permalink)  
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Traderjane- hang in there you came back and told us about it, sorry it happened but to come out and be honest takes a lot of courage. I this message finds you safe and sober.
Dean
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Old 05-19-2010, 10:13 PM
  # 397 (permalink)  
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Need some prayers if you dont mind

Hi, I am kinda of new here was in the class of May and just starting to get to know people but I relapsed and well decided to join you all and see if we all can stick together and grow into a sober life.

Today was a very difficult day, I a lot of thoughts of just saying, screw it, (different word was used than screw) I have to go into my work place tomorrow and find out what the university charges are going to be. My ENTIRE body has felt like its just running wild. Emotions flying wild. Some crying. I do not think that I have ever been this scared. All this over alcohol. My supportive wife, thank God has been with me all day. It also has been hell for her. I have a family that I need to take care of, if I cant take care of myself how the heck can I take care of them and support them?
Hey just asking for some well maybe some prayers and strength sent my way if you do not mind.
Looking forward to getting know some people on here better. But unfortunately I been having a difficult time.
Thanks
Dean
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Old 05-20-2010, 03:01 AM
  # 398 (permalink)  
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Day 17 here. I am finding my life pleasingly dull. Does that make sense? I was thinking this morning about all the work I used to put just into hiding and disposing of my bottles. I am grateful to be free of that, and of so much else connected with drinking. A little dulness is welcome by comparison.
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Old 05-20-2010, 04:23 AM
  # 399 (permalink)  
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Hi May Flowers! Just a quick check in before I am off to set up a drip line on the farm (who am I??? haha).

Just wanted to give my support and encouragement to those doing well and to those struggling!!

My 2 cents for today -which is or isn't worth very much in this economy, but depends on how you look at it! I am fortunate that I have arrived at a place where it is just a fact, I don't drink, like flipping a light switch. I think I was able to arrive at this point through a lot of thought - I answered a question posed on here -something to the tune of "what's so great about sobriety??". For me, I know where grabbing a bottle of wine to celebrate or commiserate with rendered me - simply a bottle away from facing what was already on my plate -same old destination. What I don't know, is where I am going without it, which I find more enticing

I know that it is harder for some than others, I see that on here. But maybe the next time someone wants to drink, shape your thinking in positive terms. Instead of "why shouldn't I drink?" ask "why would I drink? (and add a hangover and perhaps withdrawals, your spouse getting fed up with you once again, calling in sick to work -kind of like a fortune cookie when you add "in bed" to the end of the fortune).

Hope that doesn't sound really trite - but I am finding that even when crap a$$ things are happening, life is clearer and brighter without the alcohol.

Thanks gang for all the input you have provided to me - and keep going strong!!!

Hugs.

Pork
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Old 05-20-2010, 05:41 AM
  # 400 (permalink)  
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Hey Mayflowers. I posted this in the April forum since I'm a member there too, but I figured most of you don't read there, so I'm posting it here also. Mods, if that isn't cool, just delete it. Thanks.

An Addictive Voice saying that kicked my butt many times in the first few days of sobriety:

"You need to drink one last time before you get too many days of sobriety because then you will waste all the sober days. Just drink this one last time and then you can get sober."

I have enough sober days now that the argument doesn't work anymore. But it is amazing how devious that AV can be. As I have mentioned before, I now view the voice as "not me," but where it comes from I don't know. And I guess it doesn't really matter what the source is. I'm hoping it will run out of arguments or at least quiet down as my sober time increases.
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