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Class of May 2010

Old 05-23-2010, 07:28 PM
  # 461 (permalink)  
RGO
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Hello all,

I'm in day 9 and I feel great. Last Sunday I spent all day in bed feeling guilty and depressed. Today, I run for 1 hour, went shopping with a friend, did some reading and cook a healthy dinner. So far it's been OK, and no too hard to stay away from alcohol.

I went to dinner on Thursday and everyone was drinking except for me. I was glad that nobody insisted or tried to make me drink. I was a little sad on Friday, because I decided no to go to an Anniversary party I was invited because it was in a bar and didn't want to take the risk.

I'm ready to go to bed and start my week sober!

Thanks everyone! Your posts have helped me a looooooooot!

-RGO

V-XV-MMX
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Old 05-23-2010, 07:41 PM
  # 462 (permalink)  
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Welcome Stephnc, this place is a great place to read and talk (write) about what you are going through. I have read a lot of great post/threads on here. Everyday the daily reading from the twenty-four hours a day book and daily reflections are posted. Just take a look around, and once again welcome. And hit those meetings.
RGO good to read your post, I am right behind you finishing up day 8 for me, God willing I shall wake in the morning to begin day 9.
Hope everyone has a good nights rest and/or a good morning.
Margareth thanks for the links, just seeing where she was from just wondering how bad it has impacted the area. Just went through your links and did a little reading on CNN.
Artsoul I am sure everyone is praying for some type of miracle cleanup, will keep your son in my thoughts.
Abby way to hang in there.
Dean
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Old 05-23-2010, 07:47 PM
  # 463 (permalink)  
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Welcome Stephanie! That is my sobriety date too ... always room for one more!

GREAT job Abby. I know all too well what you are talking about. When the cravings hit hard like that it can be overwhelming. I'm so happy you got through it.

RGO -- nice to hear you so upbeat on Day 9!! That gives me hope!!!

Good night all!
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Old 05-23-2010, 08:25 PM
  # 464 (permalink)  
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Hi Steph - it's great to have you!! And you have the coolest avatar (I want it!) Glad you decided to come back to SR and not keep making yourself miserable and sick. This is my third time getting sober (well as long as you don't count the millions of failed "attempts" that only lasted a couple days). I really feel lucky to be here and relatively OK.

Glad your chicken came out well, trader! Hope the blahs leave you tomorrow. Have a great week!

Thanks for your kind words/thoughts, Dean. Congrats on your days sober. RGO too. Good to see you've made it through 9 days. Way to go.....

And Abby, I feel for you because I know how miserable those sudden and strong urges are. If it makes you feel any better, I had them for the first two weeks, but this past week has been much better, even while dealing with life's junk.

I slept in today, so I'm wide awake. Hope I'll be able to sleep tonight. Have had some crazy dreams lately, but nothing really scary. Still having some short term memory issues, but so far I haven't forgotten I'm an alcoholic.

MAYFLOWER POWER - We can do this and come out better than ever! Keep it up, friends!
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Old 05-24-2010, 12:52 AM
  # 465 (permalink)  
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The end of day 9

B&*ger, tried to make Merguez sausages today. Went way past my limits and ended up realising I had not taken the knife out of the meat grinder leaving the meat ground way to fine. Too tired + bad result = HALT moment. I'm going to sit down have a cup of tea and just chill and hope to get past the HALT moment but boy am I pissed off at the moment.

I hate not being perfect

Hi Steph,

Welcome to this group. Great characters here. Great avatar too by the way. I'm thinking of doing one in coloured sand as an exercise in letting go. I've got the pigments and the sand is not a biggie either. Perhaps next summer.

Artsoul,

You lucky sod. Being able to make your money with painting. Wow that is awesome.
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Old 05-24-2010, 02:34 AM
  # 466 (permalink)  
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Hello all, Welcome Steph,
We're having a lovely day here, the weather couldn't be better, flowers are blooming everywhere and things are soo green. It's great! I'm going to run outside as soon as I've finished typing here.

For Porkchop, I think many of us are ashamed of things we've done under the influence, but there's nothing we can do to change the past, so we have to concentrate on not being ashamed of what we do today, and even on being proud of ourselves today. Maybe making amends will help, I always try to make amends, cant say it helps me like myself any better tho...what helps me like myself is not drinking

For Abby, those bad cravings are atrocious! I've been eating way too many sweets and drinking all kinds of fruit juices, that's what helps me get past those cravings. Actually the cravings have slowed up now, I quit drinking May 5, and I've discovered that I really like tomato juice, it's not nearly as fattening as fruit juice and it fills me up too.

For everyone else, I'm glad that you're all doing well with your sobriety, even if you have a few blah days, I'm sure you'll agree that they're better without alcohol.

For those who have quit posting for one reason or another, please come back and post, it's conforting to have people who've been there and understand.
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Old 05-24-2010, 05:00 AM
  # 467 (permalink)  
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Three weeks! Can't believe it. I planted my vegetable garden yesterday; two hours later the chickens had busted in and scratched it all up, so I have to replant half of it. Did I freak out? Nope: I think my nervous system is settling down. A month ago I would have put on some sort of temper tantrum. This is a tiny matter, I know, but it shows me something...two things actually: first, what jerks active alkies are and, second, recovery does work, even on the little stuff.
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Old 05-24-2010, 06:42 AM
  # 468 (permalink)  
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Thanks for the welcomes, everybody. Traderjane, glad to be your twin! It's good to be here. Hope you all have a nice day.

Oh, my avatar is a mandala - I just love them - and you can find lots of different ones if you just google "mandala".

:-)
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Old 05-24-2010, 06:48 AM
  # 469 (permalink)  
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Hello Class of May 2010...

I woke up at 7am and went for a walk....9 days sober! YAY!

I haven't seen "7am" in long long time..... WOW! People were awake and walking, drinking coffee,... driving to work! Amazing!

I hope everyone is having a good day! Mondays are not so bad anymore!

RGO

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Old 05-24-2010, 07:51 AM
  # 470 (permalink)  
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I'm just smiling away, reading everyone's posts this morning (got my coffee with a little french-vanilla creamer in honor of you California! haha)
It's hot and sticky here in the deep South, so think of me as you all enjoy pleasant weather!

Some great quotes from the posts today:
....what helps me like myself is not drinking. (CalPoppy)
....recovery does work, even on the little stuff. (Norther)
Mondays are not so bad anymore! (RGO)
One of my favorites, though was:
I hate not being perfect ! (Maragareth)
Man, that's me too, Maragareth!! I think I'm treating myself a little kinder these days, though. Can't afford to drive myself crazy anymore! Love the word "sod" - we don't use it in the states.

HAVE A GREAT DAY EVERYONE!!
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Old 05-24-2010, 10:31 AM
  # 471 (permalink)  
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Hello everyone! I haven't been here in a few days!

Today is two weeks. 14 days. *****oooooo!

And welcome to all the people I've missed coming onto this thread since last week! This is a great place.

I had a bunch of in-laws sweep in starting last Thursday and they will not be leaving until next Friday. Quite frankly, I'm going a bit nuts. Today, I blissfully have the house to myself for the day while they all went out.

I keep telling myself "wow, this would be a complete disaster if you were messed up". As it is, I'm am hanging in there. I'm smoking like a maniac, but I'm still sober (they don't smoke and I get to hear alot about that). One thing at a time.

Cravings -- wow. I had some that just about knocked me over last week. I was in a meeting this weekend where a woman with 21 years said she had really wanted to drink that day (her house had gone into forclosure, and some other stuff had happened). They happen. Now that we know there is help available, and that there is a way to get that help, we get to choose.

So today, or at least this hour, I want to be clean and sober. Just for today.

Tonight, when the family arrives back home and I am crazy again, it may be a little tougher, but then I have to work harder and get to a meeting, pick up the phone or log in here or something.... other than drink/use.

Funny story, I'm in the car with all the in-laws and husband (humongo car -- seats 7) after dinner last night. People are bickering back and forth, I am gritting my teeth, and the radio station starts up with Gloria Gaynor's "I Will Survive". I burst out laughing. They looked at me like I was crazy.

I figured that was my Higher Power giving me a giggle and a wink.
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Old 05-24-2010, 11:32 AM
  # 472 (permalink)  
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Great story jlr! I love those "giggle/wink" moments, don't you? So wonderful to hear you're surviving having your inlaws there - are they really staying that long? Anyway congratulations on two weeks. That's really, really great!!
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Old 05-24-2010, 11:48 AM
  # 473 (permalink)  
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Hi all...sounds like everyone is doing well on this Monday!

Artsoul -- I may be only one of a handful of people to say this, but I love hot sticky weather. Yesterday it was humid here and I went out for a run/bike ride, came back and said, "Man it's humid... I love it!"

RGO -- I had a strange kind of moment like that today, too. I was up and out of the house driving around in my car, not hungover, with a cup of coffee by my side, and I thought to myself, "So THIS is what normal people do? They just keep doing this over and over, not getting drunk, not being hungover, simply waking up and going about their business... day after day after day?" It was a weird sort of moment, and of course I was one of those "normal" people not too long ago, but I had made drinking such a part of my life that it was starting to feel normal being hungover, etc. I feel odd saying this, but it's almost like I'm a child learning to live all over again.

Hope everyone enjoys the rest of the day -- I've got a busy one.

Laura
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Old 05-24-2010, 11:52 AM
  # 474 (permalink)  
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Hope I get to your point soon.
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Old 05-24-2010, 03:56 PM
  # 475 (permalink)  
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Hi guys,
sorry I've not posted in a while but have been very busy with work. Found out today that I have got a job interview for a dream job , so perhaps things are looking up.

Still stuggling with my weekends- tbh I would prefer a seven day working week, I reckon then I could crack it!
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Old 05-24-2010, 04:08 PM
  # 476 (permalink)  
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Hey Acorn,

I understand how you feel,.... weekends are not easy for me either. I was thinking exactly the same time, that I would prefer to work 7 days a week!

Anyway, I made a list of activities and little tasks I could do on weekends to keep myself busy. It worked for me, you should try it.

-RGO
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Old 05-24-2010, 08:55 PM
  # 477 (permalink)  
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Hi everyone,

I had a strange breakthrough today.

I think one of the most amazing things about becoming sober is realizing how much alcohol had wound its way around my life and how my alcohol abuse and some poor mental concepts led to near-catastrophe.

Alcohol, for me, is fundamentally an escape hatch. Early on, I drank to escape from myself. I was a shy, bumbling dork who could barely communicate with friends, let alone the opposite sex. So, I escaped from myself. Later, I drank to escape from negative emotions such as anger, depression, or anxiety. Feel angry? Take a drink. Scared? Have a dose of liquid courage. Toward the end of my recent drinking frenzy, the effect was far more pronounced. Even the mere taste of that first mouthful allowed me to shut my brain down. It's like alcohol switched the light off in my mind and all the daily pressures, anxieties, stress, and so forth would disappear for however long I drank. I escaped from the world, until it all crashed down on top of me.

Now, I realize just how defeating that mindset was. It undermines confidence, integrity, and the skills needed to manage emotion and communicate with others. It feels strange to view my behavior through that lens. I was like the kid closing his eyes and believing that as long as he didn't see what was in front him, it didn't exist.

It's a sobering realization because it indicates that quitting drinking, for me, is not as simple as telling myself, "I will not have a drink today, I will not have a drink today." I have to work through those sticky mental concepts and that will take some time. But the work is worth it. I hear the rewards of sobriety are great

To newcomers, WELCOME and good to have you here. G'night, everyone.
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Old 05-24-2010, 09:43 PM
  # 478 (permalink)  
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Wow, Draciack, that was a powerful post and full of insight. What really hit me is when you talked about the child wanting to close their eyes:

Now, I realize just how defeating that mindset was. It undermines confidence, integrity, and the skills needed to manage emotion and communicate with others. It feels strange to view my behavior through that lens. I was like the kid closing his eyes and believing that as long as he didn't see what was in front him, it didn't exist.
It really hit me, and helped put words to some realizations I've had lately. Once I got sober (for more than a few days) I began to see that facing life wasn't nearly as bad as I thought it was going to be. I feel connected now, and as I open my eyes slowly, I see smiling faces and sunny mornings that have been there waiting for me. It's not that life is easy. It's just that by shutting out the bad stuff, we shut out the good too. Thanks again for your post!:ghug3
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Old 05-25-2010, 03:57 AM
  # 479 (permalink)  
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Great post Dracieck.

22 days here. The month is almost up! There's something a little scary about that. odaat.
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Old 05-25-2010, 04:34 AM
  # 480 (permalink)  
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morning Mayflower peeps - welcome newcomers.

Good stuff that you all have shared - it is really comforting to hear the success through the struggles - think we can all relate to all the feelings and stuff that we had been avoiding - even the fact that when my hair falls just right, it looks like I have a mullet??!! Wha? Surely I was in denial.

Norther - when life throws you chicken sh**, clean it up - brilliant!! Chickens in general crack me up. Glad that you kept your cool.

Abby, sorry about work issue. Thanks for sharing the story about your friend that just got out of prison. A heartbreaking reminder of what could have been for me and more importantly, that now I never will be in any similar situation again. How did your visit go? Must have been very emotional.

Acorn - way to go on the dream job - sending you positive thoughts.

Trader - glad that things are looking up. I can totally relate about feeling like you are seeing life through a new set of eyes!

Drac - had a similar realization a bit back - you said it much more eloquently!

CApoppy- thanks for the update and encouraging people to post Cannot express how much I enjoy being caught up on what's going on - this is better than my usual msnbc.com visit for sure.

laura- you certainly can do it!

RGO -way to go keeping busy and having planned activities.

Gonna be hotter than the devil's workshop today so I am off to get a walk in early.

Artsoul - are you slacking on the exclamation points and icons?? I swear that I only saw a couple in your last post.... lol!!!

luv yas (said with thick Rhode d'Island accent)

Pork
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