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Old 05-08-2010, 11:14 PM
  # 181 (permalink)  
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Glad you made your first meeting Atlas

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Old 05-09-2010, 05:12 AM
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I had a very close call with alcohol yesterday, but I got lucky and wasn't around when it was proposed. I was at a dance gathering and a girlfriend just got back from the French Antilles and brought back all the "authentic' makings for a tropical rum punch, she had promised it to all of us, and if I had been there when she offered I'm sure I would have accepted, I had even conditionned myself into an accepting mode, because I was hungry, a very bad "trigger" for me. At any rate I had already wandered off when my friend came proposing her punch and actually stuffed myself with a baguette of bread I had in my car, not really believing it would get me passed the craving stage, but it did and when I got back from stuffing myself the punch had been put away. The disappointing part is that I KNOW THIS, I KNOW my "triggers", however I manage to let my guard down every time I get hungry. Fortunately every time I'm hungry there isn't always alcohol around. Any way, I'm glad to still be "clean", I'm also proud of myself for doing the right thing, not too proud because the circumstances certainly helped, a bit disappointed in myself because I was already planning to drink and wondering what I was going to say to you guys, if I was going to tell you, or say nothing, or worse yet lie about it. I feel much better about the lady who doesn't have anything to hide or lie about.

TraderJane, be careful when there's alcohol around, I just proved to myself again that it's too easy to convince myself to take a drink when there's drink around, and also that I have to work on my "triggers" even if it means I gain a few pounds!

Welcome to all the newcomers, May is a good month apparently! Take care all
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Old 05-09-2010, 05:34 AM
  # 183 (permalink)  
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Day SIX! I'm going to a meeting this morning. I was talking with my wife last night, and she was saying that now that I don't drink I can improve my diet, get some hobbies, help with the garden, lose some weight, etc., etc. While all of this is true in the long run, I had to say that I can only concentrate for now on not drinking, one day at a time. She is well-intended, of course, but as a non-alcoholic, doesn't understand that six days is just the barest of beginnings, not a time of "mission accomplished." I felt a little guilty resisting all her hopeful ideas, and I agree with her in the long run, but all I can do for today at least is not drink. She's not angry and says she understands, and I hope that's true. I hope I handled this right.
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Old 05-09-2010, 06:22 AM
  # 184 (permalink)  
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Originally Posted by Norther View Post
Day SIX! I'm going to a meeting this morning. I was talking with my wife last night, and she was saying that now that I don't drink I can improve my diet, get some hobbies, help with the garden, lose some weight, etc., etc. While all of this is true in the long run, I had to say that I can only concentrate for now on not drinking, one day at a time. She is well-intended, of course, but as a non-alcoholic, doesn't understand that six days is just the barest of beginnings, not a time of "mission accomplished." I felt a little guilty resisting all her hopeful ideas, and I agree with her in the long run, but all I can do for today at least is not drink. She's not angry and says she understands, and I hope that's true. I hope I handled this right.
You handled that right. Take one thing at a time you don't want to go into overload. Not drinking is the best thing you can do for your health right now, it may help you to get rid of anxiety and help your well-being to do any kind of exercise or sports, don't overdo anything nor set your goals too high. If you don't drink you'll have already accomplished SO much!
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Old 05-09-2010, 06:29 AM
  # 185 (permalink)  
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Mind if I join your May group as I have just clicked over to day 3 without a drink Didnt want to join it earlier until I could prove to myself I could make it over day 1.

All is going ok managed to decline a beer for sunday lunch at a family get together, it had become a norm and sometimes I was the only one drinking (that was a real eye opener).

Big challenge is going to be this week at work as I normally would drink as soon as I got home to relax from the stress during the day. Have some plans to distract me from the bad habit so will see how they go. Have started to take vitamins and also drink heaps of water, liver dosent know whats hit it
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Old 05-09-2010, 07:05 AM
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Welcome, Fluxcap Like you, I was primarily drank after school and work and nights are still the worst times for cravings. ODAAT. It's good to have you here.

Norther, just not drinking is the biggest victory itself. You're definitely doing the right thing. Congrats on making it to Day Six!

Atlas, that's awesome you went to your first AA meeting! You're braver than me; I chickened out two days ago. Having face to face support seems invaluable and the chips could be helpful as a constant reminder of this journey. Great to see you're doing well.

California, yikes, but in the end you didn't drink, so you were able to learn something without the cost of losing sobriety, right?

And the MayFlowers sail on. Happy Mother's Day, Everyone!
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Old 05-09-2010, 07:57 AM
  # 187 (permalink)  
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Fluxcap - Great to have you with us! Congratulations for making it to day 3. You can do this! We have a great group here and I hope you'll keep posting. For me, it was a great way to stay busy and work on getting better at the same time. First few days were s***ty, but it's amazing when you get a few more days under your belt, isn't it?

Norther - Day 6: that's GREAT! Keep hanging in there. I know I want this really bad and it seems that you do, too. I agree with Californiapoppy:
Take one thing at a time you don't want to go into overload.
For the past week, I've just done the bare minimum - I just didn't want to feel more stress than I had to and end up giving up on my sobriety. I really believe that has helped me a great deal. And I was so dang tired. Still don't have much motivation, but it's getting a little better each day. Even if you have to complain of a headache or stomach ache, and lay in bed watching TV - if that's what it takes to get through an afternoon or evening without drinking - do it!!!!

Atlas - Congratulations on your chip!! Takes some courage to walk up and get one - that's great! I had a bunch of chips and threw them out a year or two ago - guess I didn't want anything to remind me of sobriety - Insanity? Oh yeah. I always had a problem with the word "alcoholic," too. But being among friends in a meeting or on SR, it's not quite so bad, because I figure they know exactly what it means. Now other people, not so much.

Californiapoppy - I'm exactly the same way with being hungry. I guess the blood sugar drops and we start getting the cravings. I have a stack of menus from different restaurants, and I've been ordering carry-out (anything and everything) like crazy this week. Yesterday (day 7) was the first day I felt my hunger/craving cycle settle down a little. Good that we're beginning to identify our triggers. Way to go!

Draciack - I'm so encouraged by your sobriety so far! Wish we had more MayFlowers checking in, and I hope that whatever they're doing, they're still sober. It just made me realize this morning that what we're doing isn't easy and we should all give ourselves a gigantic pat on the back. Hope you have a fantastic Sunday! (I just now realized that the initials for MayFlowers are "MF" - :rotfxko)

Happy Sober Sunday and Mother's Day to all!!!!!!
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Old 05-09-2010, 01:32 PM
  # 188 (permalink)  
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Hey all

visiting mom and dad this weekend for Mothers day. No serious cravings or temptations except at one point when my mom and I were at a baseball game. EVERYONE was drinking ... I don't even like beer all that much but for some reason I started thinking in my head that it does actually taste pretty good, which is bull because I never really truly believed that in my entire life. No beer in the world tastes even remotely as fantastic as a fresh squeezed glass of orange juice or even soda (something I don't really like all that much either). After this argument with the little man in my head ended (I won), I started feeling all anxious and generally sulky. I started thinking back on times past, specifically a relationship that didn't work out ... all the dumb things I said and did, Etc Etc. Meanwhile all around me home runs were being hit, people were striking out, all these great pays with lots of cheering and I wasn't engaged in any of it. When I did snap out of it I thought to myself ... what a sneaky little thief in the night ...
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Old 05-09-2010, 01:46 PM
  # 189 (permalink)  
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welcome fluxcap
Hope it was a happy mums day all

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Old 05-09-2010, 08:48 PM
  # 190 (permalink)  
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Well, MayFlowers, a new week is almost here and it's our choice/priviledge to spend it sober! I'm going to try to get a few more things done this week (the first 8 days have been like dragging an elephant around). It's getting better each day though, it really is.

Hope you all have a great Monday morning! Who knew we could wake up on a Monday and actually feel good!!?!

And for anyone who is just beginning their sobriety this month, we are here for you! Please join us, because we all need to support each other and be supported.
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Old 05-09-2010, 08:53 PM
  # 191 (permalink)  
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Not part of the May group, but did relapse recently on April 22, so that is my new DOS. Been making a LOT of meetings. Doing a lot of reading, too. Glad to be sober again.
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Old 05-09-2010, 08:59 PM
  # 192 (permalink)  
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You're welcome here anytime, recovering. We have a great group here.

Glad you decided to try again. (I had alot of "again"s myself) It sounds like you have a good plan this time!! Keep up the good work!
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Old 05-09-2010, 09:00 PM
  # 193 (permalink)  
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I love the online community. It's sort of like my "home group". It's good to always have someone to talk to.
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Old 05-09-2010, 09:22 PM
  # 194 (permalink)  
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Originally Posted by artsoul View Post
Hope you all have a great Monday morning! Who knew we could wake up on a Monday and actually feel good!!?!
Today was the first 6 am morning shift I've worked in months. It was rough getting up at 5:30, but I was amazed at how long my energy lasted at work, and it's only day 11 for me. Even when I used to have the odd morning shift like this, I used to drink until 2 am, wake up at 5:30 hungover and go in.

Who knew I could wake up at 5:30 on a Sunday morning for work and actually feel good?!?! Not me. I'd forgotten!
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Old 05-09-2010, 10:38 PM
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thanks Draciack. I was pretty nervous though & I'm sure my face was flushed when I got up to get that chip. My heart was pounding big time.

The chips go from 24hrs to 30days--seems like such a HUGE leap. I do like the idea of the chip though-it'll be nice when I'm able to raise my hand when they ask "30 days?".

I went back tonight--it's held on weds, sat & suns--I'm glad they have weekend meetings. I think having a meeting to go to after work on the weekends is a GREAT idea & sometimes they go to eat after--I couldn't go with last night, busy weekend. I bought the big book tonight--haven't delved into it yet though.

[kinda corny but true story]
I was pretty down & out feeling on the way home tonight. I felt real alone & in a sad, reflecting of the past, consuming mood--tears & all, so dangerous when you're driving.

When I arrived home & was unloading my stuff, from house sitting all week, I thought I heard some music playing. For a second, I thought it was coming from the car, until I remembered that I'd turned it off . When I came back out for the second load, I always over pack, the music was more clear. It was "lean on me", being played on the other side of the woods in whom evers backyard, I'm sure. Just a guy (he forgot the words during one part), someone playing the keys, & their buddies.

I find this to be INCREDIBLE. I mean REALLY? What are the f*in odds? I'm just in AWE, standing there, looking for a light that may lead me toward THAT direction. I came to the seemingly logical conclusion that I wasn't about to go trudging through the forest & drop into this shindig, or whatever this occasion was. I just appreciated it & applauded when it ended.

Welcome fluxcap & Recovering Faith!
Hope everyone had a great weekend & Happy Mother's Day
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Old 05-10-2010, 03:32 AM
  # 196 (permalink)  
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The start of day 7. I got a nice bronze 24-hour chip (no such thing as a 5-day chip!) at a meeting a couple of days ago. It meant more to me than I would have thought it might. Anyway, I feel as though my mind is clearing a bit, and the cravings are getting pretty sporadic. I have to avoid getting carried away: it's very early, I'm still at step one, and it has to be one day at a time. No pink clouds, no gung-ho complexities: keep it simple and honest this time. That's what I'm telling myself.
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Old 05-10-2010, 05:20 AM
  # 197 (permalink)  
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day 4 and feeling good It's amazing how much stuff you can get done at work with a clear head. Although the day did get stressful at some times I didnt feel like having a beer when I got home. Maybe because I kept thinking how the hell did I manage to consume 7 beers every night, normally I cracked one at 5:15pm and probably finished the last one around 9:30pm.

Good luck all Mayflowers will keep you updated on my progress. Its good to hear everyone elses stories and experiences as it makes me relise im not alone with this problem
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Old 05-10-2010, 05:31 AM
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I am at work, and my head feels almost TOO clear. Weird.
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Old 05-10-2010, 05:39 AM
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I am at work, and my head feels almost TOO clear. Weird.
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Old 05-10-2010, 05:42 AM
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Red face

Sorry for the double post: guess I'm not so clear-headed as I thought! LOL
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