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Old 12-02-2009, 12:30 PM
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It's late and I need to run to bed. I just wanted to check in with everyone. Day 23! Talk to you tomorrow!
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Old 12-02-2009, 04:21 PM
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Best to you Tytan
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Old 12-02-2009, 05:03 PM
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Went to my regular doc today for the dreaded "smear." Oh how I hate those. Also had some blood taken. Hopefully my liver enzymes will be better than they were last time I had blood work which was back in February.

Tomorrow is my first counseling/therapy appointment EVER. A little anxious since I don't know what to expect. I'll just see how it goes I guess.

OR coast weather has been really nice for the last few days and the forecast is for good weather thru the 8th, whereupon showers are supposed to come back. It feels good to be able to get outside and walk and do miscellaneous projects out there.

Hope all are doing well. Tomorrow is day 28, as in 4 weeks. Woo Hoo!!
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Old 12-02-2009, 05:09 PM
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Good luck with your appointment tomorrow, Asta, and with your results from today's!

When I decided to quit, I went to a therapist..didn't go back, though. It was ok..she basically told me I was bored. I liked her alright, but she reminded me too much of a mom like figure. I adore my mom...but I don't sit and tell her my deepest fears and feelings...it just didn't feel right. If I go again, I'm gonna try and find someone else. I cried a lot, too. I was a lot more raw than I am now, though. It was really new to me..this acceptance thing.
Glad you're enjoying your weather!
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Old 12-02-2009, 05:31 PM
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I'm sorry, Asta...I didn't high five you on your 28 days!! That's awesome!! You should feel so proud of yourself...I'm so happy for you!!

Keep up the good work and the great attitude!
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Old 12-03-2009, 09:31 AM
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Congrats Asta on 28... and anybody I missed. I'm speed reading this, just like the 500 page book I have a test on in 9 hours...

Take care y'all, I'll be back for real soon enough. That's "fair warning..."

Sorry, back to textbooks.
TB
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Old 12-03-2009, 11:41 AM
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Day 24… yet there is a part of me that really wants a beer day… erg. I was doing dishes today and it dawned on me. I love beer… and am I really making the commitment to never have a beer again? I can’t be serious… then of course I start rationalizing… maybe I could have a beer once a year on my birthday. Then…. WHY AM I OBSESSING??? I need to chill. I don’t need a beer… I desire one. Well… look what desires have gotten me into… can someone pass me a cup of coffee?
Asta: Congrats of four weeks! I’m right behind you!
Thirsty: How was your test? I have to do the same thing and call it an early night. I just got my son to bed and my chores around the house finished and I sent my wife off to choir practice… now it’s off to the couch to read about American Taxation (erg!)… with a quiet and empty house I would rather catch up on episodes of Dexter… but school is calling.
Take care everyone!
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Old 12-03-2009, 07:58 PM
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Hey Tytan-- Reading about American Taxation -- in Serbia?? I make my living (part time during tax season) doing tax returns! I'm a CPA, retired most of the year but have my cadre of clients during tax season. I have all the reference materials here if you need any help(!). Seriously, I get a daily email newsletter with all the latest in tax and accounting.

Have fun! A tax textbook or the Internal Revenue Code are better than a sleeping pill for getting some zzz's.
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Old 12-03-2009, 09:27 PM
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I'm still here lol internet kinda off getting it fixed. Congrats Asta on 28...19 and counting here...The offer on the place I want was accepted now just waitin on park approval which is an odd story that I posted on a new thread as it totally blew me away today and made me love sobriety even more...got a physical Wed everything normal or even better then but that doesn't make me want to drink just thankful I have a resiliant body for all the abuse I've put it through seems I am as healthy as can be...but I'm not going to push my luck LOL. My arm is killing me as I got a tetnus shot as I could not remember the last time I had one-those things actually hurt after!
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Old 12-03-2009, 10:17 PM
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akazia--Congrats on the offer acceptance! That is just great. I'm keeping my fingers and toes crossed for you on the park approval. I had a physical Wed morning too. What a coincidence. Need to wait for blood test results but everything else was OK. Glad to hear yours went well. Also, great job on day 19! A couple more days and you will have 3 weeks under your belt. Hard to believe when you look back on it, huh? I know it is for me. Sometimes I feel it was easier that I expected and other times it seemed like eternity as I was getting through some of the days.

TBub-Hope your exam went well. You have a lot of inner strength to keep going like you do.

Hope everyone else is doing well. :ghug2
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Old 12-04-2009, 06:25 AM
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The problem with school (in addition to the studying), is that it's so darn expensive! I need to make an appt. with the college to figure out how to best finish my masters I put on hold years back. But seriously...it's like $300 a credit hour! K, now I'm off topic and just complaining....

Glad things are going well akazia! Hope you have a great 20th day today!

Hope you all have a good one! Gettin darn cold here now..winter has arrived!
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Old 12-04-2009, 09:13 AM
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300/credit hour? I wanna live by you. It's more than that here.

Well, y'all, the hard part of test season is over, and it wasn't even that hard. Just constant. Got a bunch of stuff left, but it seems so easy now. I do well under pressure, by the way, and don't do at all without any pressure...

I woke up feeling okay, gonna clean the house a bit and go for a walk I suppose.

Later, I'm going to see if that lady who said she'd be my sponsor and might pick me up for the meeting today was just saying things, like her saying she'd call me back the next day.

I'm starting to see that casual lying is to here what casual flirting is to where I come from--just words, don't mean much.

Take care,
TB
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Old 12-04-2009, 09:14 AM
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Just checking in with my November group...Day 30 here and honestly it was a breeze, especially compared to my first attempt at sobriety in April. Hope everyone is doing well!
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Old 12-04-2009, 12:40 PM
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Day 25! And I finally found a decent Chinese restaurant around here! Hurray! And get this… real Chinese people eat there! Hot and sour soup! It was sooooo satisfying.
Asta: You’re a CPA? Actually… I think I would rather interview you. I’m not really studying tax codes… but I am writing my thesis on the concept of the FairTax, which being a CPA, you probably aren’t a fan of. But, I’m doing a full study on the idea: the benefits and draw backs… how Neal Boortz and John Linder have turned it into a partisan issue (they complete ignore the fact that Democrat Bill Bradley came up with the foundation of the idea in the 1980s). Anyway, the root of my thesis is a non-partisan approach to tax reform which could possibly create a political ideal: a society that is Fiscally Conservative and Social Liberal… but that might just be my ideal. Boring stuff… but I would love to get a CPA’s perspective offline. Any great open debate about this could led us all back to drinking… so if you feel game hit me up with a private email.
Mirage: You don’t want to know how much I am paying per credit hour. I have to rock my higher education online so I am paying a pretty premium for the “convenience”. Not that there is anything convenient about studying on your own with 1.5 kids, a wife, and a full time job… erg. Is it over yet? Wait… when it’s over then I have to start paying for it. Whelp… at least they can’t repo my diploma… right?
Future: Welcome! Congrat’s on 30 days!
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Old 12-04-2009, 01:22 PM
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Repo your diploma? Gee, I never even thought of that. Haha. "If" I get a decent job, I'll pay them back... if I'm making 5.15 an hour, they can come visit me in wherever I'm living and we can discuss a payment plan... That was what finally convinced me to do the loans and all that. Most places I've lived, people don't go to collect student loans... I couldn't get the Arrowhead delivery guy to come.

Well, I'm extremely bored today. I hope this is a practice boredom, because I'm gonna need all the practice I can get for after finals... 6 weeks. It already scares me, and the fact that Christmas is in there (and New Year's too) terrify me. One holiday for family I'm not near, and one holiday for friends I'm not near either. And six weeks to do nothing, and my only responsibility is waking up and breathing. At least schoolwork being due in the future keeps me somewhat on track.

The closer I get the more I fear it.

TB
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Old 12-04-2009, 11:05 PM
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It is slow today... I had a good day till the good internet closed for the weekend and it's been on and off internet.

Had my room key stolen (who does that?) and my sticker on my ID card (again, who does that?) in two separate incidents. Life is getting mighty strange for me.

Thought about drinking, don't really have much to do this weekend with erratic internet... and weekends alone are hard for me. I'm always alone, I suppose, but weekends I am *truly* alone. My car is alone in the parking lot.

But I have to go to my court classes tomorrow, and it'll feel good to get those over with--I'm almost there. So I toughed it out.

The lady who said she'd be my sponsor and said she'd call the next day and didn't, she didn't answer her phone again when I called her to see if she could give me a ride to the NA meeting. Like she said to do. I'm getting way too many mixed messages, I don't know what to do anymore.

Oh, and yesterday I went to the AA meeting on campus... it was canceled.

I guess I'll hang around here and wait till it gets warm enough to walk to the AA meeting again.

Take care y'all,
TB, coming up on 3 weeks in a couple days
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Old 12-05-2009, 04:51 AM
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Day 26!
I’m posting a bit earlier than usual today. I’m a todo list freak and posting was next on my list… I am one of those people who needs to accomplish everything in order… or else I get annoyed. I know… I’m a freak. Anyway, my wife took my son to Mickey on ice with some other friends of our… giving me the house to myself for a whole 4 hours! Although I really want to lounge on the couch in my underwear eating popcorn and catching up on Dexter… I have a ton of things on my todo list to catch up on. Having four hours at home along never happens… so I need to take advantage of it. So… I am posting early so I can focus.
Except that could be hard… the roofers are here again and jackhammering upstairs… I probably couldn’t hear the TV anyway… so I have the iPod strapped on rocking to Ben Folds.
Thirsty: Yes graduating is scary! It’s supposed to be scary. If you think about it… if you go to college right after high school you would have been in school pretty much your entire lifetime. I started preschool at 3 years and graduated college at 22. When I graduated undergrad I had been a full time student for 86% of my life. I started grad school when I was 28… and now at 32 I’ve been a full time student for 72% of my life. When you do the math it’s staggering… and scary… most of us as we complete school don’t even have memories of NOT being in school. Erg. It’s worth it though! When you no longer have to worry about school is when the true adventure of life starts!... until you start Grad school… loL!
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Old 12-05-2009, 04:12 PM
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TB...sorry you don't have more going on there besides studying...boredom is tough business. And an erratic internet connection to boot? urggghhh. Dunno what to think of your AA lady...I wish she were more reliable for ya.

We ARE in school a long freakin time....and if you're a teacher, you ALWAYS have to take classes! No such thing as being done. (Lucky for me I like taking classes.) Oh, and my $300/credit was based on 10 years ago when I stopped going! Oops! Don't wanna know what it is now, thank you.

Glad you're doing well, Tytan. When's that baby comin?
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Old 12-05-2009, 06:19 PM
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I may not have to take "classes" in the university sense anymore, but I sure have to keep up with professional education. As a CPA I need 80 hours every 2 years to keep my license to practice valid. Granted, not much compared to a full course load, but it never stops. Living in the rainy northwest, I have a lot of time in the winter to do the hours. An accounting professional organization offers unlimited online education for about $150 a year. Now THAT'S A BARGAIN!
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Old 12-05-2009, 10:40 PM
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Hi y'all.

Did it again... another day of sobriety.

Had a long day, all over town and it's so cold out. Relatively cold, I probably should add before I need to hide. But I got everything done... and I went to the NA meeting again. They gave me a ride home... for the first time in possibly 30-40 meetings.

My internet is too shaky for the chatroom, but I think I'd be better off there... I don't know what's wrong with me, I keep flitting from thought to thought about drinking. Worse, all over town all I saw were bars and liquor stores... I got some sense (perhaps sobriety-induced) and I can tell this is not a good place to be. Mentally, I mean.

I shared at the meeting and I'm surprised at how worried I am about the upcoming break. There won't be a way to get to meetings, so I hope I figure something (warm) out with regards to the internet.

Well, take care y'all, back to doing school-related stuff tomorrow. Although a break into sobriety-related stuff (including court-related stuff, although the courts don't care if I drink or not) was nice today.

Take care y'all.
TB
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