Class of August 2021 Support Thread Part 7
Member
Join Date: Sep 2016
Location: Kansas City, MO
Posts: 1,121
That's great LHW! I hope that you had a good time.
Bodhi, I have nothing to offer as far as interesting dating stories go. My foray into eHarmony only resulted in one date, and it was a fun, enjoyable one. For me, anyway. Unfortunately, there wasn't a second, and that was all the rejection I cared to stomach at the time. I keep telling myself that I need to get myself right before I head out there again. Hasn't happened yet.
Spending the weekend helping my daughter out with the three kids. Her husband gets to spend five days in jail for driving with a suspended license. I need to vent on that one with you guys at some point, but no time for that now. Glad to be able to assist, but it will be a tiring couple of days.
I hope that you all have a good weekend. Safe travels Lynn!
Bodhi, I have nothing to offer as far as interesting dating stories go. My foray into eHarmony only resulted in one date, and it was a fun, enjoyable one. For me, anyway. Unfortunately, there wasn't a second, and that was all the rejection I cared to stomach at the time. I keep telling myself that I need to get myself right before I head out there again. Hasn't happened yet.
Spending the weekend helping my daughter out with the three kids. Her husband gets to spend five days in jail for driving with a suspended license. I need to vent on that one with you guys at some point, but no time for that now. Glad to be able to assist, but it will be a tiring couple of days.
I hope that you all have a good weekend. Safe travels Lynn!
Member
Join Date: Dec 2011
Location: New England
Posts: 4,426
LHW- I love your news, congrats! Now you’ll be in demand for tournaments, does this change your mind about them?
CP- Have fun with the grandkids, sorry to hear of your SIL and his trouble- vent away. Does sound like a situation that didn’t need to happen… Hope the kids aren’t too much of a handful.
Free, are you feeling better, I hope?
Bodhi, It’s always good to see you here, I hope we help you feel like good friends should, supported and empowered, because you deserve no less than that from the people you choose to be part of your life. It took me a long time to learn that. You’re doing great.
Dee & Venus, thanks for the kind words! I appreciate you both so very much. I’ve learned oodles from reading your comments on this site on the daily. So grateful for such wise and compassionate honesty. I aspire to be like you both.
CP- Have fun with the grandkids, sorry to hear of your SIL and his trouble- vent away. Does sound like a situation that didn’t need to happen… Hope the kids aren’t too much of a handful.
Free, are you feeling better, I hope?
Bodhi, It’s always good to see you here, I hope we help you feel like good friends should, supported and empowered, because you deserve no less than that from the people you choose to be part of your life. It took me a long time to learn that. You’re doing great.
Dee & Venus, thanks for the kind words! I appreciate you both so very much. I’ve learned oodles from reading your comments on this site on the daily. So grateful for such wise and compassionate honesty. I aspire to be like you both.
Member
Join Date: Sep 2016
Location: Kansas City, MO
Posts: 1,121
Thanks Lisa, I'm sitting here this morning, while the 3 year old sleeps, so this is as good a time as any to vent. My ex stepped in and helped as well, so she and her husband are watching the 1 year old. My daughter is only having to manage the 6 month old for now. SIL gets out of lockup on Monday morning, so this won't go on for long.
SIL's legal troubles date back to before he knew my daughter. Had one DUI before they started dating, and another one while they were dating. The latter was a serious wreck, totaling his truck and sending my daughter to the hospital. This occurred about five years ago and his license has been suspended until next year. They bought a house within a few miles from his job (he has a good job as a mechanic for FedEx) and they have been limping along, with her either taking him to work, or him riding a scooter on the back roads. As you can imagine, with three kids, and midwestern winters, this isn't always manageable. He has driven their car on occasion out of necessity. Apparently he was driving either to or from work one night (he worked night shift for a while) last winter and the police ran the plates on their car. Found that the owner of the car had a suspended license and pulled him over. (Apparently Kansas laws for probable cause allow for this, but that's neither here nor there, at this point). Mandatory jail time. I imagine this also impacts the 2023 reinstatement of his license, but I'm not sure about this. I'm just so frustrated for them, as they were getting close to getting back to whole, from a legal standpoint. Their relatively new marriage has so much stress on it already, with three little ones. I just want them to see some light at the end of the tunnel. SIL is a good kid, and a good father. Just made some bad decisions.
Oh well, that's it for now. Granddaughter is awake and ready to rock and roll. Love you guys.
SIL's legal troubles date back to before he knew my daughter. Had one DUI before they started dating, and another one while they were dating. The latter was a serious wreck, totaling his truck and sending my daughter to the hospital. This occurred about five years ago and his license has been suspended until next year. They bought a house within a few miles from his job (he has a good job as a mechanic for FedEx) and they have been limping along, with her either taking him to work, or him riding a scooter on the back roads. As you can imagine, with three kids, and midwestern winters, this isn't always manageable. He has driven their car on occasion out of necessity. Apparently he was driving either to or from work one night (he worked night shift for a while) last winter and the police ran the plates on their car. Found that the owner of the car had a suspended license and pulled him over. (Apparently Kansas laws for probable cause allow for this, but that's neither here nor there, at this point). Mandatory jail time. I imagine this also impacts the 2023 reinstatement of his license, but I'm not sure about this. I'm just so frustrated for them, as they were getting close to getting back to whole, from a legal standpoint. Their relatively new marriage has so much stress on it already, with three little ones. I just want them to see some light at the end of the tunnel. SIL is a good kid, and a good father. Just made some bad decisions.
Oh well, that's it for now. Granddaughter is awake and ready to rock and roll. Love you guys.
Member
Join Date: Dec 2011
Location: New England
Posts: 4,426
Oh, man, sounds like it was just a bad decision and some extra bad luck on top- hope it doesn't affect his reinstatement too badly. It's good they have strong family support from you and your ex-wife. I'm sure that really helps. I think one of the best things about being sober is how much more help we can be to those around us, it's a blessing because being of service helps us, too.
Have an easy Sunday, everyone. I thought of ALL of you today during my very first gong meditation. I'm a TERRIBLE meditator so instead, I counted the things I am grateful for, and these new friendships were right at the top of my list.
Have an easy Sunday, everyone. I thought of ALL of you today during my very first gong meditation. I'm a TERRIBLE meditator so instead, I counted the things I am grateful for, and these new friendships were right at the top of my list.
Member
Join Date: Sep 2017
Location: East Coast US
Posts: 1,837
Good Morning everyone. I hope you all had a pleasant weekend.
Viking - The golf tourney was okay, but it reinforces my decision to not play in many of these and I will decline any future invites. The women are seriously competitive and I just don't need that pressure. It was a fluke that we won...well, maybe not, but the other 2 ladies are seriously good so they carried us.
CP - it's a shame about your SIL, but I get it. I had a DUI 10 years ago and I was told that a police officer could just be driving behind me and run my plates for no reason than the sheer fun of it and my DUI would come up and he could pull me over with no cause. I lost my license for 6 months and having almost no one to help me out at all was challenging to say the least. I took a few chances and drove short distances to get groceries, etc. I wish them well and hope for the best regarding his license reinstatement.
Free - I hope you are feeling better. Great news on an insurance company! Fingers crossed for you.
Hi Bodhi - I hope all is well in your neck of the woods.
Sitting here waiting for the dishwasher repair guy to arrive. Hopefully it can be repaired. Our plumbing issue of last week was resolved thankfully. But if this dishwasher repair doesn't work, we are going to be shopping for a new dishwasher. Stuff just doesn't last anymore. This dishwasher is only 6 years old and the control board is shot...or so they think. I once had a washer and dryer that lasted for nearly 20 years.
Mr. LHW is going to be out of town the latter part of this week playing in a member/guest golf tournament with his friend. He really enjoys golf more than I do...he would play every day if he could. While he is goine, I am going to get caught up on some of the shows I watch that he doesn't watch. He's not a big TV person so I'm a bit behind on the stuff I watch. It will be strange being home alone for a few days. It's been a long time since there was just me in the house. I will likely be on a cleaning and organizing binge during that time.
Well, better get moving here. Everyone have a great day.
LHW
Viking - The golf tourney was okay, but it reinforces my decision to not play in many of these and I will decline any future invites. The women are seriously competitive and I just don't need that pressure. It was a fluke that we won...well, maybe not, but the other 2 ladies are seriously good so they carried us.
CP - it's a shame about your SIL, but I get it. I had a DUI 10 years ago and I was told that a police officer could just be driving behind me and run my plates for no reason than the sheer fun of it and my DUI would come up and he could pull me over with no cause. I lost my license for 6 months and having almost no one to help me out at all was challenging to say the least. I took a few chances and drove short distances to get groceries, etc. I wish them well and hope for the best regarding his license reinstatement.
Free - I hope you are feeling better. Great news on an insurance company! Fingers crossed for you.
Hi Bodhi - I hope all is well in your neck of the woods.
Sitting here waiting for the dishwasher repair guy to arrive. Hopefully it can be repaired. Our plumbing issue of last week was resolved thankfully. But if this dishwasher repair doesn't work, we are going to be shopping for a new dishwasher. Stuff just doesn't last anymore. This dishwasher is only 6 years old and the control board is shot...or so they think. I once had a washer and dryer that lasted for nearly 20 years.
Mr. LHW is going to be out of town the latter part of this week playing in a member/guest golf tournament with his friend. He really enjoys golf more than I do...he would play every day if he could. While he is goine, I am going to get caught up on some of the shows I watch that he doesn't watch. He's not a big TV person so I'm a bit behind on the stuff I watch. It will be strange being home alone for a few days. It's been a long time since there was just me in the house. I will likely be on a cleaning and organizing binge during that time.
Well, better get moving here. Everyone have a great day.
LHW
Member
Join Date: May 2018
Location: Where I’ve longed to be all my life…..here, now.
Posts: 7,345
Ah, LHW, when I was alone, or was going to be left alone, I used to fantasize about drinking to my hearts content. It never was fun, I’d hate myself for killing my soul and body, and for being secretive. Glad those days are over.
im struggling right now because helping my eldest is so hard. Shes mean and horrible, it makes it so difficult to help her and stay calm. Fleeting thought of escaping through numbing has crossed my mind, but not letting those thoughts stay for tea.
I am so glad my youngest is coming up so I can spend some time with her. It will be great for her to meet the new grandparents. Grateful to hear thunderstorms this morning Grateful to hear a train this morning in the distance
grateful my coffee tasted great this morning Grateful I’m trying to role-play in my head my dialogue with my husband‘s cousin who’s coming in and staying at the same house. He will arrive tomorrow. Every time I am not around he talks to my husband about my husband‘s former lover, who is cousin Ds wife’s first cousin, and tries to get communication going between them both. He is not my friend I do not like him I do not trust him and he’s a jerk, rhymes with masshole .
The stress is about to take me over the edge
Grateful I am sober
Grateful I have distraction Grateful I have SR and I can come to the site and vent
im struggling right now because helping my eldest is so hard. Shes mean and horrible, it makes it so difficult to help her and stay calm. Fleeting thought of escaping through numbing has crossed my mind, but not letting those thoughts stay for tea.
I am so glad my youngest is coming up so I can spend some time with her. It will be great for her to meet the new grandparents. Grateful to hear thunderstorms this morning Grateful to hear a train this morning in the distance
grateful my coffee tasted great this morning Grateful I’m trying to role-play in my head my dialogue with my husband‘s cousin who’s coming in and staying at the same house. He will arrive tomorrow. Every time I am not around he talks to my husband about my husband‘s former lover, who is cousin Ds wife’s first cousin, and tries to get communication going between them both. He is not my friend I do not like him I do not trust him and he’s a jerk, rhymes with masshole .
The stress is about to take me over the edge
Grateful I am sober
Grateful I have distraction Grateful I have SR and I can come to the site and vent
Member
Join Date: May 2018
Location: Where I’ve longed to be all my life…..here, now.
Posts: 7,345
August 2021 Whiners
Hey.
im in a funk.
so my friends daughter is on ‘disability’, who doesn’t care for her 2.5 years old, has complete support of her mom, my friend.
Why does that codependency irk me so much?
my friend and her husband constantly care for their granddaughter while their daughter ….parties, plays, whatever.
is be telling that daughter get a job, take care of your kid, etc……
my daughter REALLY is disabled and works. And the government penalizes her benefits
just really irritated
im in a funk.
so my friends daughter is on ‘disability’, who doesn’t care for her 2.5 years old, has complete support of her mom, my friend.
Why does that codependency irk me so much?
my friend and her husband constantly care for their granddaughter while their daughter ….parties, plays, whatever.
is be telling that daughter get a job, take care of your kid, etc……
my daughter REALLY is disabled and works. And the government penalizes her benefits
just really irritated
Member
Join Date: Sep 2017
Location: East Coast US
Posts: 1,837
Sorry you are irritated Free. That kind of stuff irks the heck out of me too. I don't get why some people enable their "kids" to do just that. My late husband was the king of the enablers. More on that another time.
Hang in there.
Hang in there.
Member
Join Date: Sep 2016
Location: Kansas City, MO
Posts: 1,121
Sorry that I've been out of pocket the last couple of days. Watching grandkids totally wipes me out.
Lynn, I'm sorry for what you have been going through during your visit up north. And I certainly wish you luck with your husband's cousin today. Let's hope that he has matured and decided not to stick his nose in your business anymore. But massholes will be massholes. By the way, I love your new profile pic.
Lisa, I'm absolutely with you regarding meditation. I haven't given it enough practice, but my mind wanders endlessly when I sit still for two minutes. I wish you luck and am curious about the 'gong' aspect of it.
LHW, I hope that you were able to repair the dishwasher at a reasonable cost. Catching up on your shows sounds like a great idea for this weekend. What shows are on the agenda?
Nothing much else to report. Just wanted to check in and say hello.
Lynn, I'm sorry for what you have been going through during your visit up north. And I certainly wish you luck with your husband's cousin today. Let's hope that he has matured and decided not to stick his nose in your business anymore. But massholes will be massholes. By the way, I love your new profile pic.
Lisa, I'm absolutely with you regarding meditation. I haven't given it enough practice, but my mind wanders endlessly when I sit still for two minutes. I wish you luck and am curious about the 'gong' aspect of it.
LHW, I hope that you were able to repair the dishwasher at a reasonable cost. Catching up on your shows sounds like a great idea for this weekend. What shows are on the agenda?
Nothing much else to report. Just wanted to check in and say hello.
Member
Join Date: Nov 2020
Posts: 517
Hey all! I’ve been pretty quiet lately so thought I would give an update.
I just counted and I have 6 months of sobriety since my last slip in December. These 6 months I’ve put up a lot more boundaries and let go of a lot of toxic relationships. I’ve opened up more and identified old patterns that I’m working through breaking. I realized a lot of my inner turmoil is cause by codependency. I’m cleaning out my closet, if you will, I’m figuring out what to keep, what to trash, what to repurpose, and what to donate. it’s emotionally challenging but I feel like I’m making really great progress!
This past week has been challenging. I had a really bad PTSD flashback and I ended up taking a day off from work the next day to reset. Work has been overwhelming. I’m happy I got a new opportunity to learn and grow, but there’s just a lot of unknowns and it’s tough to find a good balance between my current role which is a lot of waiting around for compliance and legal to get answers back to me and the new opportunity. Its a lot of things to remember and I worry a lot that I’ll drop the ball. I have a good tracking system in place but now that I’m splitting my time with my current role and new opportunity I’m having a hard time reassuring myself that I’m doing a good job. I worry that things are slipping through the cracks but in all honestly I think I’m just being hard on myself. Everything is fine and management knows there’s a big learning curve so I just really need to surrender and go with the flow because I think it’s all in my head.
I will check back in later tonight! Hope everyone has a good day!
I just counted and I have 6 months of sobriety since my last slip in December. These 6 months I’ve put up a lot more boundaries and let go of a lot of toxic relationships. I’ve opened up more and identified old patterns that I’m working through breaking. I realized a lot of my inner turmoil is cause by codependency. I’m cleaning out my closet, if you will, I’m figuring out what to keep, what to trash, what to repurpose, and what to donate. it’s emotionally challenging but I feel like I’m making really great progress!
This past week has been challenging. I had a really bad PTSD flashback and I ended up taking a day off from work the next day to reset. Work has been overwhelming. I’m happy I got a new opportunity to learn and grow, but there’s just a lot of unknowns and it’s tough to find a good balance between my current role which is a lot of waiting around for compliance and legal to get answers back to me and the new opportunity. Its a lot of things to remember and I worry a lot that I’ll drop the ball. I have a good tracking system in place but now that I’m splitting my time with my current role and new opportunity I’m having a hard time reassuring myself that I’m doing a good job. I worry that things are slipping through the cracks but in all honestly I think I’m just being hard on myself. Everything is fine and management knows there’s a big learning curve so I just really need to surrender and go with the flow because I think it’s all in my head.
I will check back in later tonight! Hope everyone has a good day!
Member
Join Date: Sep 2016
Location: Kansas City, MO
Posts: 1,121
6 months is great Bodhi. You are doing such a great job working through your thoughts and feelings, and taking positive action. Don't let those negative thoughts at work gain any traction. You are a smart, capable person. Just take it one day at a time. Great mantra for sobriety, and learning a new skill. I believe in you!
Member
Join Date: Dec 2011
Location: New England
Posts: 4,426
Congrats on 6 months, Bodhi! I'm sure you're doing well at work- we never see ourselves accurately- being hard on ourselves is pretty common in most people- the good ones, anyway! Keep up the good work, one day maybe you can be Employee of the Month and get A PAIR OF SOCKS like I did!! Talk about deflated ego! Gotta laugh at life, right???
One day at a time is a great way to go about things. One issue at a time, one ridiculous thing after another. But sober, so it's all just fine. And we have each other, which really helps!
One day at a time is a great way to go about things. One issue at a time, one ridiculous thing after another. But sober, so it's all just fine. And we have each other, which really helps!
Member
Join Date: Nov 2020
Posts: 517
Thank you Dee, Free, CP, and Viking!!
I haven’t been utilizing the one day at a time mantra lately and it is a good one. Thanks CP and Viking for the advice. Lol Viking I hope I do get a pair of socks one day!! I used the mantra a lot today and it really helped. I’m so glad I have all of you ❤️
I haven’t been utilizing the one day at a time mantra lately and it is a good one. Thanks CP and Viking for the advice. Lol Viking I hope I do get a pair of socks one day!! I used the mantra a lot today and it really helped. I’m so glad I have all of you ❤️
Member
Join Date: Sep 2016
Location: Kansas City, MO
Posts: 1,121
Wow, Lynn. Does that meal come with a complimentary angioplasty? No, seriously, that looks great. I hope it tasted as good as it looks.
Lisa, a pair of socks! That's a first. I remember one year our company gave away pies as an end of year bonus. But socks as the Employee of the Month prize tops that. I hope that they are really, really nice socks. Good for you for taking it in stride though.
Lisa, a pair of socks! That's a first. I remember one year our company gave away pies as an end of year bonus. But socks as the Employee of the Month prize tops that. I hope that they are really, really nice socks. Good for you for taking it in stride though.
Member
Join Date: Sep 2016
Location: Kansas City, MO
Posts: 1,121
On a more serious note, I need some tough love here guys as I'm getting nowhere. Sinking lower, really, with every failed attempt. Accountability to myself isn't getting it done. It's unbelievable how easily my resolve vanishes into dust in the afternoon. No fight. No desire to ask for help. Just nothing. "One day at a time." "Just don't drink today." Such straightforward, simple advice. I can dole it out to others, but I simply just ignore it when it comes to me.
My life has been one of procrastination. Very little planning. Scrambling to get things done at the deadline. Only addressing issues when they become super-critical, or too pressing to ignore. The tragedy with alcohol for me is the slow, slow degradation of my mental and physical wellness. Never too pressing to ignore (no legal issues, good results at annual checkups). But I have to treat this fight differently. I know it. The person sitting here typing this in the morning knows it with all of his heart. I don't know what to do with the robotic, soulless person that takes the reins in the afternoon. I have to figure out how to snatch the reins back from him.
So today I'm going to take it hour by hour. I'm going to post here in the afternoon for the first several days, until I can get my legs under me.
Being transparent with you guys is important to me. And maybe a tiny step forward. I have nothing to hide. I can't do this alone.
My life has been one of procrastination. Very little planning. Scrambling to get things done at the deadline. Only addressing issues when they become super-critical, or too pressing to ignore. The tragedy with alcohol for me is the slow, slow degradation of my mental and physical wellness. Never too pressing to ignore (no legal issues, good results at annual checkups). But I have to treat this fight differently. I know it. The person sitting here typing this in the morning knows it with all of his heart. I don't know what to do with the robotic, soulless person that takes the reins in the afternoon. I have to figure out how to snatch the reins back from him.
So today I'm going to take it hour by hour. I'm going to post here in the afternoon for the first several days, until I can get my legs under me.
Being transparent with you guys is important to me. And maybe a tiny step forward. I have nothing to hide. I can't do this alone.
Member
Join Date: Nov 2012
Location: German Village, Columbus with my love ♥
Posts: 88,535
When I got sober, I had a daily fight for quite a while. I had to change things up, form new habits. I needed to change my afternoons/evenings, so I started walking in the park or on the beach every evening, early, around the time I would have started drinking. And I prepared my meals in advance. Cooking in the evening was too hard; the association with the glass(es) of wine was torture.
Those two changes made a huge difference for me, and they showed me that I had the power to rewire my brain.
Onward together James ~ see you this afternoon.
❤️
Those two changes made a huge difference for me, and they showed me that I had the power to rewire my brain.
Onward together James ~ see you this afternoon.
❤️
Currently Active Users Viewing this Thread: 2 (0 members and 2 guests)
