Class of August 2021 Support Thread Part 7
Member
Join Date: Sep 2017
Location: East Coast US
Posts: 1,837
Just a quick laugh for tonight! Mr. LHW and I are sitting out on our porch so don’t have time to go into details…will do so later. I haven’t told many people this, maybe 2 or 3, but I will tell you guys. I went on E-Harmony years ago and was deemed “UNMATCHABLE”. Hahaha! True! I told them it wasn’t very harmonious of them to tell someone they were UNMATCHABLE. And look at me now…but we were introduced by Mutual friends and are a PERFECT match. 😍😍😝
LHW
LHW
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Join Date: May 2018
Location: Where I’ve longed to be all my life…..here, now.
Posts: 7,345
Yes, thanks Suze, and I hope beyond hope, as I read all over this site, that you are feeling better, both physically, emotionally, (your seemingly unfeeling sister and her travels, etc) and work wise. You studied so hard at editing, and you are smart, so don’t let insults or idiots who say them get you down.
You are an ever present person here, and offer support everywhere…….seems impossible, but you are so giving to others. Make sure you are taking care, ok?
You are an ever present person here, and offer support everywhere…….seems impossible, but you are so giving to others. Make sure you are taking care, ok?
Member
Join Date: May 2018
Location: Where I’ve longed to be all my life…..here, now.
Posts: 7,345
LHW 🤣😂😅
Oh, the STORIES I could tell. All the first dates. The liars, deceivers, weirdos. Dating is def not for the faint of heart.
But, I BELIEVED. And I kept trying. Like sobriety. I believed I deserved my dream mate. The universe delivered what I believed. When I didn’t believe, I was delivered manipulative yuckies……. Just food for thought there.
Today, Hebrew National hotdogs with diced red onion, ketchup, relish on artisan buns, and romaine salad leaves with cut fresh strawberries and my homemade poppyseed dressing…… that was lunch.
Made brownies, and going to make chicken Parmesan in a minute here.
Yep, like Lisa, I like getting stuff DONE……..hauled branches and 25 foot trees to the curb on lot today while hubby wielded the chainsaw.
The. Days. Are. Packed….
Wouldn’t happen if I was in self loathing mode and thinking about how I’m gonna sneak a drink later.
I love the freedom, and this class.
❤️🤓
Oh, the STORIES I could tell. All the first dates. The liars, deceivers, weirdos. Dating is def not for the faint of heart.
But, I BELIEVED. And I kept trying. Like sobriety. I believed I deserved my dream mate. The universe delivered what I believed. When I didn’t believe, I was delivered manipulative yuckies……. Just food for thought there.
Today, Hebrew National hotdogs with diced red onion, ketchup, relish on artisan buns, and romaine salad leaves with cut fresh strawberries and my homemade poppyseed dressing…… that was lunch.
Made brownies, and going to make chicken Parmesan in a minute here.
Yep, like Lisa, I like getting stuff DONE……..hauled branches and 25 foot trees to the curb on lot today while hubby wielded the chainsaw.
The. Days. Are. Packed….
Wouldn’t happen if I was in self loathing mode and thinking about how I’m gonna sneak a drink later.
I love the freedom, and this class.
❤️🤓
Member
Join Date: Nov 2012
Location: German Village, Columbus with my love ♥
Posts: 88,535
Originally Posted by LoveHateWhine 
Just a quick laugh for tonight! Mr. LHW and I are sitting out on our porch so don’t have time to go into details…will do so later. I haven’t told many people this, maybe 2 or 3, but I will tell you guys. I went on E-Harmony years ago and was deemed “UNMATCHABLE”. Hahaha! True! I told them it wasn’t very harmonious of them to tell someone they were UNMATCHABLE. And look at me now…but we were introduced by Mutual friends and are a PERFECT match. 😍😍😝
LHW
LHW
❤️
Member
Join Date: Nov 2012
Location: German Village, Columbus with my love ♥
Posts: 88,535
Thank you lovely ladies....I cannot tell you how much I needed that, and how much I appreciate it. I am, indeed, exhausted.
But feeling fine. As you said Free....it is amazing how much stuff we can get done now. So, so much.
As for dating....oy.....and very glad I am not doing that again, ever.
❤️
But feeling fine. As you said Free....it is amazing how much stuff we can get done now. So, so much.
As for dating....oy.....and very glad I am not doing that again, ever.
❤️
Member
Join Date: Sep 2017
Location: East Coast US
Posts: 1,837
So when you sign up with E-Harmony, you go through an exhaustive list of questions. I can't remember how many, maybe 50-100. They are broken down into things like what your ideal first date is, i.e. a movie and dinner, coffee, lunch, walk on the beach, etc. Do you like children, do you have children, how many, if you don't have children do you want children, the questions go on and on and on about anything and everything.
But then you must pick from hundreds of things to complete a "must have" and "can't stand" list. For example, one might answer to I "can't stand" a guy with facial hair, or doesn't like movies, or is too frugal. One might answer a "must have" is the person has to like cats, must like dogs, is frugal, is a neat freak, likes movies, etc.etc. The list is provided to you and goes on and on and on. I would say it takes well over an hour to complete the "must have" and "can't stand" list.
You also enter a geographical area that you want them to search, i.e. within a 25 mile radius of Philadelphia, or the entire State of Pennsylvania, or even the entire United States. From what I understand, the alogorithm uses all of the data such as your height, weight, age, the multiple choice questions and then the must haves, can't stands to compile a list of matches for you.
Well, after spending several hours doing this, you click a button that says "find my perfect match" and it is supposed to spit out all of the possible matches in the E-Harmony data base. The little wheel spins around and around, with a "do not hit the back button" warning while it searches. In my case, the little wheel was spinning for an inordinate amount of time. After way too long, it spit back a big round circle with "UNMATCHABLE" in the center, with a big red line through it. HA HA HA. I burst out laughing. I was UNMATCHABLE???? And I think I put to search the entire State of Florida at the time.
I thought it hysterical for me but wondered about a person who was extremely sensitive or had low self esteem. Getting that result back could really mess someone up emotionally/mentally.
More to come on this story about what happened after I called E-Harmony to ask about it. We are dealing with a major plumbing issue here in the house this morning.
Everyone have a great day!
LHW
But then you must pick from hundreds of things to complete a "must have" and "can't stand" list. For example, one might answer to I "can't stand" a guy with facial hair, or doesn't like movies, or is too frugal. One might answer a "must have" is the person has to like cats, must like dogs, is frugal, is a neat freak, likes movies, etc.etc. The list is provided to you and goes on and on and on. I would say it takes well over an hour to complete the "must have" and "can't stand" list.
You also enter a geographical area that you want them to search, i.e. within a 25 mile radius of Philadelphia, or the entire State of Pennsylvania, or even the entire United States. From what I understand, the alogorithm uses all of the data such as your height, weight, age, the multiple choice questions and then the must haves, can't stands to compile a list of matches for you.
Well, after spending several hours doing this, you click a button that says "find my perfect match" and it is supposed to spit out all of the possible matches in the E-Harmony data base. The little wheel spins around and around, with a "do not hit the back button" warning while it searches. In my case, the little wheel was spinning for an inordinate amount of time. After way too long, it spit back a big round circle with "UNMATCHABLE" in the center, with a big red line through it. HA HA HA. I burst out laughing. I was UNMATCHABLE???? And I think I put to search the entire State of Florida at the time.
I thought it hysterical for me but wondered about a person who was extremely sensitive or had low self esteem. Getting that result back could really mess someone up emotionally/mentally.
More to come on this story about what happened after I called E-Harmony to ask about it. We are dealing with a major plumbing issue here in the house this morning.
Everyone have a great day!
LHW
Member
Join Date: Nov 2012
Location: German Village, Columbus with my love ♥
Posts: 88,535
Oh please tell us now.....I can't wait.....I am on shpilkes, as we say in Yiddish!!!!!
(I am betting on a site error and a glitch, lol).
Oh.....sorry.....I missed the last line....that's not good.
(I am betting on a site error and a glitch, lol).
Oh.....sorry.....I missed the last line....that's not good.
Member
Join Date: Sep 2016
Location: Kansas City, MO
Posts: 1,121
Whoa LHW, that's harsh! You blew up the algorithm. I played around with those settings so much, hoping to expand my matches. Very frustrating. I'm hoping that you tell us that you were searching for someone taller than 5'10 and shorter than 5'9, but I don't think that it would accept that type of invalid criteria. I love what you've done here. It's kind of like a Netflix show. We are all anxiously awaiting the next episode.
Suze, it's so good to hear from you. Like Dee, I'm not convinced that you are one person, based on all of the support that you provide on so many forums and threads. This place wouldn't be the same without you.
I have to share something that I read this morning in my 'Alcohol is Sh!t' book. Paul Churchill shared the following regarding the topic of fear, which really resonated with me.
"Before I began writing one morning, I sat with my fears, and simply asked, "Why is fear rising as I near completion of the book?" As I quieted the mind, I remembered a home video of me playing soccer when I was five years old. I would sprint past the other players, and then run in place directly in front of the ball. You could hear my dad and other parents saying, "Paul, kick the ball." "Why isn't he kicking the ball?" And then it hit me. "Holy sh1t!" I blurted out. I've been afraid to kick the ball in life and writing this book is helping me lean into those fears."
I can relate to this so, so much. Frozen by fear of failure, or the unknown. James, kick the ball. Stop thinking about it and just kick it. If it misses the mark, set it back up and kick it again. The only way you fail is by not kicking it.
Suze, it's so good to hear from you. Like Dee, I'm not convinced that you are one person, based on all of the support that you provide on so many forums and threads. This place wouldn't be the same without you.
I have to share something that I read this morning in my 'Alcohol is Sh!t' book. Paul Churchill shared the following regarding the topic of fear, which really resonated with me.
"Before I began writing one morning, I sat with my fears, and simply asked, "Why is fear rising as I near completion of the book?" As I quieted the mind, I remembered a home video of me playing soccer when I was five years old. I would sprint past the other players, and then run in place directly in front of the ball. You could hear my dad and other parents saying, "Paul, kick the ball." "Why isn't he kicking the ball?" And then it hit me. "Holy sh1t!" I blurted out. I've been afraid to kick the ball in life and writing this book is helping me lean into those fears."
I can relate to this so, so much. Frozen by fear of failure, or the unknown. James, kick the ball. Stop thinking about it and just kick it. If it misses the mark, set it back up and kick it again. The only way you fail is by not kicking it.
Member
Join Date: May 2018
Location: Where I’ve longed to be all my life…..here, now.
Posts: 7,345
Wow, cool,posts…..
I did eHarmony in 2016. Got a lot of scammers. People who’d served time for fraud, etc. It was expensive too.
Ive done fishes in the sea or something, farmers only, and match.
Lets see, one of my worst dates was a lunch, the man had a keg for a tummy, no problem, but he said he was athletic. I think he was a pro at 12 ounce curls 😳😁
Anyway, I ordered a full lunch. Mind you, I’m pretty slender and athletic, but as you all know, I LOVE TO EAT GOOD FOOD. No anorexia here. 🤓
”So, what’s your body fat percentage?” He blurts out as he chews Lo mien…..With his mouth open……and ogles me openly slowly up and down, resting his eyes just below my declatage …..🧐🤨
”um, pfft!”, (I choke on my beef with broccoli) “I don’t know”.
”What do you mean you don’t know?” “ I dated a lady and she was about 7%, so uh (he eyes me again), I’m guessing your about 10%.”
Couldn’t wait to get the heck out of there……last first date there 😎
I did eHarmony in 2016. Got a lot of scammers. People who’d served time for fraud, etc. It was expensive too.
Ive done fishes in the sea or something, farmers only, and match.
Lets see, one of my worst dates was a lunch, the man had a keg for a tummy, no problem, but he said he was athletic. I think he was a pro at 12 ounce curls 😳😁
Anyway, I ordered a full lunch. Mind you, I’m pretty slender and athletic, but as you all know, I LOVE TO EAT GOOD FOOD. No anorexia here. 🤓
”So, what’s your body fat percentage?” He blurts out as he chews Lo mien…..With his mouth open……and ogles me openly slowly up and down, resting his eyes just below my declatage …..🧐🤨
”um, pfft!”, (I choke on my beef with broccoli) “I don’t know”.
”What do you mean you don’t know?” “ I dated a lady and she was about 7%, so uh (he eyes me again), I’m guessing your about 10%.”
Couldn’t wait to get the heck out of there……last first date there 😎
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Join Date: Dec 2011
Location: New England
Posts: 4,430
Oh, man! How do you keep your cool when that goes down, Lynn? I guess I've mellowed a little bit- but not that much!
LHW- can't wait to hear what E-HARM (that's what I call it) said when you called them.
LHW- can't wait to hear what E-HARM (that's what I call it) said when you called them.
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Join Date: Sep 2017
Location: East Coast US
Posts: 1,837
Part Two.
So after being deemed UNMATCHABLE, I called a friend who met her husband on the site. Together we decided I must have answered a question incorrectly, like saying I had 8 children and wanted 8 more...something that would just knock me right out of the system. Or I had put some really odd "must haves" and "can't stands" but then again, it was their list, so we decided it wasn't that. Decided I should go back and review all of the answers to make sure they said what I wanted. So I hit the back button to try to review my answers and I could not go any further. The big circle flashing UNMATCHABLE kept coming up. So I called the E-Harmony customer service line. I told the agent that I was trying to review my answers and was not being permitted. His response: "oh, you are UNMATCHABLE, aren't you?" And I said that I was but I just wanted to review my answers. He said it could not be done. I asked if I really was deemed UNMATCHABLE or could it have been an error in the alogorithm or some kind of computer glitch. He said "No, not a glitch, it happens every once in awhile to people...you truly are UNMATCHABLE based on your answers." I again said perhaps I checked off a wrong box, and said I had 8 children and wanted more, blah blah blah but he assured me it was not an error. I was truly UNMATCHABLE. ( I put it in all caps because that is how it came up on the screen.) He also informed me that the reason I could not go back and review my answers was because I could be a fraud and that I would never again be permitted to use EHarmony. Not that I cared at that point.
As I said, I laughed and laughed and still laugh to this day. It's a great story to tell. Going back, I recall that about 6 months later, I got an ad for a "free trial" on E-Harmony and so I decided to try again just to see what happened. After all, why would then send me an ad if I was kicked off the site? But I got as far as entering a screen name and other info whenI got a notice that said "you have been previously deemed UNMATCHABLE and cannot continue." No idea how it knew that other than I was still in the same house in Florida and so perhaps the IP address is somehow tracked and the system knew it was me. I don't know. I never tried again and moved on to sites like Match, Our Time and Bumble, but had no luck. I think I wrote in this class once before about being matched with a guy who dressed like the Target dog and a guy whose profile picture was him with shaving cream all over his face. And another guy who wanted to take me to a nudist colony for the first date.
Anyway....that is indeed a true story. LHW was determined to be UNMATCHABLE by E-Harmony and never allowed back on the site. Ha ha ha. Still laughing. Wish I had taken a screen shot of the notice. A lot of my friends just didn't believe me and during our wedding party two weeks ago, our friend who gave the toast told the guests that I had been determined UNMATCHABLE by E-Harmony but I found a perfect match in Mr. LHW anyway. Most of the people thought he was joking of course, but he knew, I knew, and Mr. LHW knew it was definitely not a joke.
Still dealing with household plumbing issues, so bye for now!
LHW
So after being deemed UNMATCHABLE, I called a friend who met her husband on the site. Together we decided I must have answered a question incorrectly, like saying I had 8 children and wanted 8 more...something that would just knock me right out of the system. Or I had put some really odd "must haves" and "can't stands" but then again, it was their list, so we decided it wasn't that. Decided I should go back and review all of the answers to make sure they said what I wanted. So I hit the back button to try to review my answers and I could not go any further. The big circle flashing UNMATCHABLE kept coming up. So I called the E-Harmony customer service line. I told the agent that I was trying to review my answers and was not being permitted. His response: "oh, you are UNMATCHABLE, aren't you?" And I said that I was but I just wanted to review my answers. He said it could not be done. I asked if I really was deemed UNMATCHABLE or could it have been an error in the alogorithm or some kind of computer glitch. He said "No, not a glitch, it happens every once in awhile to people...you truly are UNMATCHABLE based on your answers." I again said perhaps I checked off a wrong box, and said I had 8 children and wanted more, blah blah blah but he assured me it was not an error. I was truly UNMATCHABLE. ( I put it in all caps because that is how it came up on the screen.) He also informed me that the reason I could not go back and review my answers was because I could be a fraud and that I would never again be permitted to use EHarmony. Not that I cared at that point.
As I said, I laughed and laughed and still laugh to this day. It's a great story to tell. Going back, I recall that about 6 months later, I got an ad for a "free trial" on E-Harmony and so I decided to try again just to see what happened. After all, why would then send me an ad if I was kicked off the site? But I got as far as entering a screen name and other info whenI got a notice that said "you have been previously deemed UNMATCHABLE and cannot continue." No idea how it knew that other than I was still in the same house in Florida and so perhaps the IP address is somehow tracked and the system knew it was me. I don't know. I never tried again and moved on to sites like Match, Our Time and Bumble, but had no luck. I think I wrote in this class once before about being matched with a guy who dressed like the Target dog and a guy whose profile picture was him with shaving cream all over his face. And another guy who wanted to take me to a nudist colony for the first date.
Anyway....that is indeed a true story. LHW was determined to be UNMATCHABLE by E-Harmony and never allowed back on the site. Ha ha ha. Still laughing. Wish I had taken a screen shot of the notice. A lot of my friends just didn't believe me and during our wedding party two weeks ago, our friend who gave the toast told the guests that I had been determined UNMATCHABLE by E-Harmony but I found a perfect match in Mr. LHW anyway. Most of the people thought he was joking of course, but he knew, I knew, and Mr. LHW knew it was definitely not a joke.
Still dealing with household plumbing issues, so bye for now!
LHW
Member
Join Date: Dec 2011
Location: New England
Posts: 4,430
Day 298 for me today. On day 300, I'm doing a dance. I have not taken serious note of any other number or month- but I am itching to get to a year. June was bad last year- I actually did stop for about 3 weeks and then relapsed and July was just a struggle of stopping and starting and stopping and starting until the horrible, wonderful day in August when I just KNEW I was DONE. It was over- no matter what- I was not picking up again. The other thought in my head was, if I DO pick up again, I will NOT stop again- but now I see that for what that was- a big, giant excuse to drink myself to death with my own permission. That permission has since been rescinded, believe me. I have been very reflective the past week or so- because the memories have been so vivid and the difference of me now and me a year ago still blows my mind a lot. Anyone else going through this? I can go back and read things I wrote in my journal/calendar and actually remember the day- I remember a road trip I took in June and I was so hungover and withdrawing so badly and it was raining and I had the dog with me- I was scared I was going to die right on the road- I pulled over twice just to get my head together- oh it was just miserable. Then I got where I was going and was detoxing for 3 days at my mom's, pretending everything was just fine- miserable, scared, unfocused- wow. Just wow. Comparing this to the last trip I had down there which was one of the best trips ever, just me, feeling good, healthier, happy makes me realize I can probably do anything I want to if I put my mind to it. Now. What to do next?
I'm so grateful to be off the rollercoaster. I am dealing with a little bit of what to do with myself sometimes, but that's the worst thing I can say. Oh, and I'd like gas to not be 5 dollars a gallon, but wouldn't everyone. Got a little rambly there- the magic of the class thread. Thanks for the listen, everyone.
I'm so grateful to be off the rollercoaster. I am dealing with a little bit of what to do with myself sometimes, but that's the worst thing I can say. Oh, and I'd like gas to not be 5 dollars a gallon, but wouldn't everyone. Got a little rambly there- the magic of the class thread. Thanks for the listen, everyone.
Member
Join Date: Sep 2016
Location: Kansas City, MO
Posts: 1,121
Good morning all.
Lisa, I love to hear your ramblings. Anytime. Your reflections on the past are strengthening your resolve and will always be documented here on SR if you need a reminder. Any discomfort that you are feeling about the "what to do next?" part will subside, I believe, if you continue to live in the moment. You are so intelligent and thoughtful. There is no doubt in my mind that opportunities will present themselves to you as you continue to navigate your life with clear eyes and and a healthy body and mind. Congrats on your 300 day mark tomorrow, and I will also do a little dance in your honor. Just let me know what song to queue up!
LHW, I just had to do go down the internet rabbit hole on the UNMATCHABLE status. Seems like it has impacted a decent percentage of people in the past, though I couldn't find any recent examples. Maybe eHarmony has modified their selection process. It's funny though that I couldn't find anything from the company itself that addressed the topic.
Crazy dating stories. Probably best that I threw in the towel, though I still have the occasional urge to sneak a peek.
Not much else going on today. I need to get busy with something. Not sure what. Hugs all around.
Lisa, I love to hear your ramblings. Anytime. Your reflections on the past are strengthening your resolve and will always be documented here on SR if you need a reminder. Any discomfort that you are feeling about the "what to do next?" part will subside, I believe, if you continue to live in the moment. You are so intelligent and thoughtful. There is no doubt in my mind that opportunities will present themselves to you as you continue to navigate your life with clear eyes and and a healthy body and mind. Congrats on your 300 day mark tomorrow, and I will also do a little dance in your honor. Just let me know what song to queue up!
LHW, I just had to do go down the internet rabbit hole on the UNMATCHABLE status. Seems like it has impacted a decent percentage of people in the past, though I couldn't find any recent examples. Maybe eHarmony has modified their selection process. It's funny though that I couldn't find anything from the company itself that addressed the topic.
Crazy dating stories. Probably best that I threw in the towel, though I still have the occasional urge to sneak a peek.
Not much else going on today. I need to get busy with something. Not sure what. Hugs all around.
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