Class of April 2018 Part 9
Member
Join Date: Nov 2017
Posts: 2,583
Evening everyone, hope everyone is ok?
Hi Blusey 👋
Hey Erratic. Well done on day 4. How are you feeling with detoxing? Are you through the worst of it? Do you mean you habe no real desire or real determination to not drink over the weekend? Maybe we can be more support to you if you let us know what you are struggling with? That's what we are here for. You have gotten sober before, I known you can do it again!
I have had such a lazy day. Bought a couple of pairs of flip flops, binged watched Dirty John on Netflix which was brilliant, am jist gonna watch the real life documentary now on you tube, had a siesta, just had room service and will be heading to bed soon. Leaving tomorrow. The weather hasn't been great so good excuse to do nothing but I still end up feeling guilty. Home tomorrow so pleased about that.
Sleep Well everyone x x
Hi Blusey 👋
Hey Erratic. Well done on day 4. How are you feeling with detoxing? Are you through the worst of it? Do you mean you habe no real desire or real determination to not drink over the weekend? Maybe we can be more support to you if you let us know what you are struggling with? That's what we are here for. You have gotten sober before, I known you can do it again!
I have had such a lazy day. Bought a couple of pairs of flip flops, binged watched Dirty John on Netflix which was brilliant, am jist gonna watch the real life documentary now on you tube, had a siesta, just had room service and will be heading to bed soon. Leaving tomorrow. The weather hasn't been great so good excuse to do nothing but I still end up feeling guilty. Home tomorrow so pleased about that.
Sleep Well everyone x x
Member
Join Date: Apr 2018
Location: Cheshire. U.K
Posts: 8,003
Hi Aprils, hope you're all okay, it's gone midnight, it's been a long day and I'm very tired now so I'll just do a quick post.
I'm really happy about my visit to the dental hospital, I don't want to go on too much about my health issues but I was diagnosed with Ulcerative Colitis about 3 years ago, I was very poorly for a while and was vomiting every day for around 9 months (t.m.i sorry). Anyway all the acid stripped my teeth of a lot of the enamel and made them weak and crumbly and all the wine I'd drank probably added to the damage, so to cut a long story short my dentist referred me to a restorative dental consultant who I saw today. One of my biggest fears is of having false teeth and I had this awful vision that he was going to tell me that he'd have to pull all my teeth out and give me falsies. Anyway that wasn't the case, he was lovely, I had lots of x-rays etc and he is going to build my teeth up with composite and they will look good, he will start the work in about 4 months and it will probably take 10 visits to complete it all. I'm ecstatic and can't wait to have them done. x
Hi Suze, sorry you're not enjoying your stay too much in wherever it is you are ( I can't remember where you said you were lol) but I'm sure it won't be long until you're back home again. Make the most of the chill out time.
Thank you for sharing the A.A thought of the day, it's so very, very true and I can relate to it a lot.
So glad you've posted Erratic, I was getting a bit worried about you, very well done on day four and I agree with our Snitch above, please let us know if there is anything we can do to help. All I can say is don't think too far forward, it's just for today and please don't struggle alone, you don't need to, we're all here for you always. I know you want to stay sober, you wouldn't still be here otherwise and I honestly think you can do it. Don't worry about the gym if all the changes make you exhausted, it'll still be there next week or next month or when you're feeling up to it. Just take care of yourself.
Hi Bluesey, I hope your week has been a good one. x
Nichole, come and post, don't you be struggling alone. x
I need to go to bed now, sleep well Aprils or have a good day if you live in Dee land. xxxx
I'm really happy about my visit to the dental hospital, I don't want to go on too much about my health issues but I was diagnosed with Ulcerative Colitis about 3 years ago, I was very poorly for a while and was vomiting every day for around 9 months (t.m.i sorry). Anyway all the acid stripped my teeth of a lot of the enamel and made them weak and crumbly and all the wine I'd drank probably added to the damage, so to cut a long story short my dentist referred me to a restorative dental consultant who I saw today. One of my biggest fears is of having false teeth and I had this awful vision that he was going to tell me that he'd have to pull all my teeth out and give me falsies. Anyway that wasn't the case, he was lovely, I had lots of x-rays etc and he is going to build my teeth up with composite and they will look good, he will start the work in about 4 months and it will probably take 10 visits to complete it all. I'm ecstatic and can't wait to have them done. x
Hi Suze, sorry you're not enjoying your stay too much in wherever it is you are ( I can't remember where you said you were lol) but I'm sure it won't be long until you're back home again. Make the most of the chill out time.
Thank you for sharing the A.A thought of the day, it's so very, very true and I can relate to it a lot.
So glad you've posted Erratic, I was getting a bit worried about you, very well done on day four and I agree with our Snitch above, please let us know if there is anything we can do to help. All I can say is don't think too far forward, it's just for today and please don't struggle alone, you don't need to, we're all here for you always. I know you want to stay sober, you wouldn't still be here otherwise and I honestly think you can do it. Don't worry about the gym if all the changes make you exhausted, it'll still be there next week or next month or when you're feeling up to it. Just take care of yourself.
Hi Bluesey, I hope your week has been a good one. x
Nichole, come and post, don't you be struggling alone. x
I need to go to bed now, sleep well Aprils or have a good day if you live in Dee land. xxxx
Member
Join Date: Apr 2018
Location: Cheshire. U.K
Posts: 8,003
08.10
Good morning Aprils, hope you've all had a good nights sleep and are ready to take on whatever today throws at you. I slept really well, think I needed it after yesterday, I haven't been up long. Got my grandson sat beside me on the sofa and I've just had a big, fat hug off him, what a lovely start to my day.
Anyway, I hope you all have a really good, sober weekend. What are you all up to, any plans?
Thought for the day....."If you’re still looking for that one person who will change your life, take a look in the mirror."
Laters. xx
Good morning Aprils, hope you've all had a good nights sleep and are ready to take on whatever today throws at you. I slept really well, think I needed it after yesterday, I haven't been up long. Got my grandson sat beside me on the sofa and I've just had a big, fat hug off him, what a lovely start to my day.
Anyway, I hope you all have a really good, sober weekend. What are you all up to, any plans?
Thought for the day....."If you’re still looking for that one person who will change your life, take a look in the mirror."
Laters. xx
Member
Join Date: Nov 2017
Posts: 2,583
Hi everyone,
Daisy, yep nothing better than a big hug like that from someone so precious. Priceless! I am glad you have good news about your teeth. It's pretty amazing what can be done nowadays isn't it?
I am feeling really low and tearful and full of fear. But I know why. I have really isolated myself the last couple of days here. I do like my own company but I am realising when I am deliberately isolating and I have been and it's not great for me as I am just alone with my head and that's not always a good thing. I have procrastinated alot. I havent worked out, haven't made any effort to go do anything, haven't done any of my step 4 work. So I am grateful I know why I am feeling like this I just need to put the action in to get out of self.
However, being picked up from hotel in 3 hours for work. I just want to get home. The flight is busy months way back and that is a good thing as it keeps my mind busy too.
Sorry for down post but just needed to share. The good news is I am not hungover, I haven't done anything on this trip that I feel guilty or shameful about. So there is always a positive!
X x
Daisy, yep nothing better than a big hug like that from someone so precious. Priceless! I am glad you have good news about your teeth. It's pretty amazing what can be done nowadays isn't it?
I am feeling really low and tearful and full of fear. But I know why. I have really isolated myself the last couple of days here. I do like my own company but I am realising when I am deliberately isolating and I have been and it's not great for me as I am just alone with my head and that's not always a good thing. I have procrastinated alot. I havent worked out, haven't made any effort to go do anything, haven't done any of my step 4 work. So I am grateful I know why I am feeling like this I just need to put the action in to get out of self.
However, being picked up from hotel in 3 hours for work. I just want to get home. The flight is busy months way back and that is a good thing as it keeps my mind busy too.
Sorry for down post but just needed to share. The good news is I am not hungover, I haven't done anything on this trip that I feel guilty or shameful about. So there is always a positive!
X x
Member
Join Date: Mar 2013
Location: Northeast, US
Posts: 2,073
💚💜💙
Nichole: I don’t want to say anything that’s going to scare you off, and it’s fine to just keep moving forward little by little like you are. Most of us did that. That is a lot of booze you drank, you’re right. Plus sweating and the shakes only means one thing. It’s only going to get worse. It doesn’t get better. I agree that you should not listen to your husband, ever.
I want to give you a ton of advice on what to do in your life, but I think it’s going too far on SR. If you want it, let me know. These crappy situations can be dealt with, legally. Get sober time under your belt. 6 months. We’ll help you. You are not trapped, The Law takes swift and tough action to help people like you. I’ve seen it. That’s all I’m going to say.
I only say it out of love and care. I know you’re not there yet. I’d love to see you at AA with a lady sponsor that’s seen it all and can guide you.
V
Nichole: I don’t want to say anything that’s going to scare you off, and it’s fine to just keep moving forward little by little like you are. Most of us did that. That is a lot of booze you drank, you’re right. Plus sweating and the shakes only means one thing. It’s only going to get worse. It doesn’t get better. I agree that you should not listen to your husband, ever.
I want to give you a ton of advice on what to do in your life, but I think it’s going too far on SR. If you want it, let me know. These crappy situations can be dealt with, legally. Get sober time under your belt. 6 months. We’ll help you. You are not trapped, The Law takes swift and tough action to help people like you. I’ve seen it. That’s all I’m going to say.
I only say it out of love and care. I know you’re not there yet. I’d love to see you at AA with a lady sponsor that’s seen it all and can guide you.
V
Member
Join Date: Mar 2013
Location: Northeast, US
Posts: 2,073
Hi folks! I have learned a lot about what’s going on in my gut and my auto immune illness in the last couple of days. The pharmacist and APRN actually recommended a Facebook Group and they know a lot. It’s like SR for auto immune illness. I’m really getting good advice. 🦄
Ive been feeling pretty crappy since I came back from Brazil, but I’m on track to get better. It’s going to take serious discipline and measures now. A fast, a cleanse, etc.
I’m actively looking to close on a motorcycle. I’ve decided what I want. It’s a matter of finding it at the right price. There is one about a 4 hour drive from here. I want a BMW Enduro 650. F650GS, G650GS, or The BMW 1- G650GS SERTAO. BMW doesn’t mean expensive. You buy a 2009. Antilock brakes are an insurance policy I’m willing to pay for. They reduce fatalities buy a large percent (I think 40%). Also, 90% of new rider accidents are from inappropriate breaking. If you need to stop and there is sand on the road, you’re going down. If there is oil in the pavement, you’re done. If you lock the rear wheel it’s gong to slide out from under you. Etc. The people that argue they can stop better without the antilock, are either professional riders, or just plain idiots. Maybe both. Plus, you can turn ABS on and off with a switch!!!!
Hopefully i I can do it!!
Ok later on.
V🐍
Ive been feeling pretty crappy since I came back from Brazil, but I’m on track to get better. It’s going to take serious discipline and measures now. A fast, a cleanse, etc.
I’m actively looking to close on a motorcycle. I’ve decided what I want. It’s a matter of finding it at the right price. There is one about a 4 hour drive from here. I want a BMW Enduro 650. F650GS, G650GS, or The BMW 1- G650GS SERTAO. BMW doesn’t mean expensive. You buy a 2009. Antilock brakes are an insurance policy I’m willing to pay for. They reduce fatalities buy a large percent (I think 40%). Also, 90% of new rider accidents are from inappropriate breaking. If you need to stop and there is sand on the road, you’re going down. If there is oil in the pavement, you’re done. If you lock the rear wheel it’s gong to slide out from under you. Etc. The people that argue they can stop better without the antilock, are either professional riders, or just plain idiots. Maybe both. Plus, you can turn ABS on and off with a switch!!!!
Hopefully i I can do it!!
Ok later on.
V🐍
Member
Join Date: Mar 2013
Location: Northeast, US
Posts: 2,073
I’m glad I can come here and post. Today is one of the first times I thought about going to the bar for happy hour. I think I’m over it and it only lasted 2 minutes. I was thinking, ‘what about tomorrow? Ok, It would just be tonight.’ Then I said ‘wait that’s obviously going to lead to disaster.’ So the whole process was short but I felt the pull. Over it. Thankfully I’m smart enough to make the connections in seconds, that it’s a horrible idea.
I guess im kind of down that the progress with my health has taken a hit, and I’m kind of amped up too with my meds. Time for a chill pill and to lie down for a bit.
Ok later.
V
I guess im kind of down that the progress with my health has taken a hit, and I’m kind of amped up too with my meds. Time for a chill pill and to lie down for a bit.
Ok later.
V
Member
Join Date: Apr 2018
Location: Cheshire. U.K
Posts: 8,003
Good morning Aprils, hope you're all well, happy and sober. All good with me, I had a good sleep, the weather is warmish and I'm feeling okay. I did log on last night, did my bedtime gratitude post, a couple of other little ones but then I got to this page and couldn't keep my eyes open.
Yesterday I did something that made me feel quite humble, I went grocery shopping which isn't my favourite chore in the world, when I came to pay after queuing up for ages, the check out girl who had bright pink hair was really lovely, chatty, friendly and helpful even though a lot of the customers were moaning about how long they had to wait etc, so I thought I'm going to tell her that her hair looks nice ( even though bright pink hair doesn't do it for me), so I did, she gave me the most genuine smile, thanked me and told me that she'd had it done as a tribute to her mum who died of breast cancer aged 50, I told her that I thought that was a wonderful thing to do and she then proceeded to tell me that she had also had breast cancer and had recently got the all clear. She was so lovely she honestly brought a tear to my eye. I'm so glad now that I complimented her hair, who knew? Just felt the need to share that.
Hi Suze, I'm sorry you've been feeling so low and I hope you feel much better today, when are you home? The sooner the better by the sound of things. Be proud though for not having anything to feel guilty about, that's the best feeling ever.
Nichole, Viper has given you some excellent advice there. I hope you are okay, please come and post, honestly you've done nothing that us lot here haven't done. We're all here to help and support you if you give us the chance.
Viper, excellent advice for Nichole. xx
Re your auto immune advice and the Facebook site, it's a good idea, I'm on a closed group on F.B for my Ulcerative Colitis and honestly I've had more help and advice from that group than I have from any doctor or consultant. It's definitely worth checking it out.
Definitely worth getting the best insurance you can if you're going to get yourself a motorbike, life is precious.
You did yourself proud coming here and posting when that thought of visiting a bar crossed your mind, it doesn't bare thinking about how bad you would be feeling now had you succumbed. You're doing great. xx
Got to go and do a bit now, see you laters alligators. xx
Thought for the day......" Making a big life change is pretty scary. But know what’s even scarier? Regret."
Yesterday I did something that made me feel quite humble, I went grocery shopping which isn't my favourite chore in the world, when I came to pay after queuing up for ages, the check out girl who had bright pink hair was really lovely, chatty, friendly and helpful even though a lot of the customers were moaning about how long they had to wait etc, so I thought I'm going to tell her that her hair looks nice ( even though bright pink hair doesn't do it for me), so I did, she gave me the most genuine smile, thanked me and told me that she'd had it done as a tribute to her mum who died of breast cancer aged 50, I told her that I thought that was a wonderful thing to do and she then proceeded to tell me that she had also had breast cancer and had recently got the all clear. She was so lovely she honestly brought a tear to my eye. I'm so glad now that I complimented her hair, who knew? Just felt the need to share that.
Hi Suze, I'm sorry you've been feeling so low and I hope you feel much better today, when are you home? The sooner the better by the sound of things. Be proud though for not having anything to feel guilty about, that's the best feeling ever.
Nichole, Viper has given you some excellent advice there. I hope you are okay, please come and post, honestly you've done nothing that us lot here haven't done. We're all here to help and support you if you give us the chance.
Viper, excellent advice for Nichole. xx
Re your auto immune advice and the Facebook site, it's a good idea, I'm on a closed group on F.B for my Ulcerative Colitis and honestly I've had more help and advice from that group than I have from any doctor or consultant. It's definitely worth checking it out.
Definitely worth getting the best insurance you can if you're going to get yourself a motorbike, life is precious.
You did yourself proud coming here and posting when that thought of visiting a bar crossed your mind, it doesn't bare thinking about how bad you would be feeling now had you succumbed. You're doing great. xx
Got to go and do a bit now, see you laters alligators. xx
Thought for the day......" Making a big life change is pretty scary. But know what’s even scarier? Regret."
Member
Join Date: Mar 2013
Location: Northeast, US
Posts: 2,073
Hi folks.
Eveh though I thought I made up with my sister she won’t respond to my calls or texts. Uuughhhhh.
I’m way back where I was 6 months or a year ago with my health, but I feel like I know what to do now. I know what works, or what has worked. I’ll tell you guys (girls) it kind of sucks when you are such a high intensity dude and your physical health is lousy. It’s a waste. It’s been a 25 year waste. Hopefully I will be back in decent order shortly. Even though I know more about the issue, it’s difficult to have a setback.
Nichole how are you? I hope what I said was ok.
My brother is buying a nice Honda pickup this week and if the motorcycle in New York is still available we may be taking a ride out there. It’s too far to go twice. Check it out, and take it home in the truck. Prices in Connecticut on motor vehicles are a lot higher than out of state. Plus I don’t want to pay a dealer markup. Yes the local huge BMW dealer has to uphold their reputation and not sell any junk, but they would want a huge premium for that. May or may not happen. It’s all good.
V🐍
Eveh though I thought I made up with my sister she won’t respond to my calls or texts. Uuughhhhh.
I’m way back where I was 6 months or a year ago with my health, but I feel like I know what to do now. I know what works, or what has worked. I’ll tell you guys (girls) it kind of sucks when you are such a high intensity dude and your physical health is lousy. It’s a waste. It’s been a 25 year waste. Hopefully I will be back in decent order shortly. Even though I know more about the issue, it’s difficult to have a setback.
Nichole how are you? I hope what I said was ok.
My brother is buying a nice Honda pickup this week and if the motorcycle in New York is still available we may be taking a ride out there. It’s too far to go twice. Check it out, and take it home in the truck. Prices in Connecticut on motor vehicles are a lot higher than out of state. Plus I don’t want to pay a dealer markup. Yes the local huge BMW dealer has to uphold their reputation and not sell any junk, but they would want a huge premium for that. May or may not happen. It’s all good.
V🐍
Member
Join Date: Nov 2017
Posts: 2,583
Hi all,
Am home now...Bliss!
Aww Daisy what a lovely story and that girl sounds amazing. It certainly put things into perspective for me!! Just the act of one human reaching out to another has such a great effect doesn't it??!
Vipe, sorry to hear about your health but like you say you know more about what to do now. I think it all boils down to acceptance doesn't it. Sounds like you have made your mind up about a motorbike! Give your sister some time. I'm sure you'll hear from her.
I have been procrastinating and wallowing and ots time to change. I know I have to pit certain action in to improve things and only I can do that. I won't bore you all with what I am going to do but it starts now and I'll keep you updated!
Am in bed. Showered. Clean sheets. There really is no where like your own bed is there?! I am jist missing my daughter but picking her up tomorrow so looking forward to giving her a big squeeze!!!
Sleep well everyone x x x
Am home now...Bliss!
Aww Daisy what a lovely story and that girl sounds amazing. It certainly put things into perspective for me!! Just the act of one human reaching out to another has such a great effect doesn't it??!
Vipe, sorry to hear about your health but like you say you know more about what to do now. I think it all boils down to acceptance doesn't it. Sounds like you have made your mind up about a motorbike! Give your sister some time. I'm sure you'll hear from her.
I have been procrastinating and wallowing and ots time to change. I know I have to pit certain action in to improve things and only I can do that. I won't bore you all with what I am going to do but it starts now and I'll keep you updated!
Am in bed. Showered. Clean sheets. There really is no where like your own bed is there?! I am jist missing my daughter but picking her up tomorrow so looking forward to giving her a big squeeze!!!
Sleep well everyone x x x
Member
Join Date: Apr 2018
Location: Cheshire. U.K
Posts: 8,003
Just checking in quickly before I go to bed, hope you've all had a good Sunday.
Hi Vipes, just give your sister a bit of time, I'm sure she'll be fine in a couple of days. I'm sorry you've got health issues at the moment, all the stress with your parents and sister won't be helping but the good thing is that you know what to do, you're in control, you'll sort it.
Glad your home and in your own bed Suze, and you're right there is nothing like it. I'm very intrigued about what you're going to do, don't keep us waiting too long, please share soon.
I'm off to bed now, back tomorrow, sleep well Aprils. xxx
Hi Vipes, just give your sister a bit of time, I'm sure she'll be fine in a couple of days. I'm sorry you've got health issues at the moment, all the stress with your parents and sister won't be helping but the good thing is that you know what to do, you're in control, you'll sort it.
Glad your home and in your own bed Suze, and you're right there is nothing like it. I'm very intrigued about what you're going to do, don't keep us waiting too long, please share soon.
I'm off to bed now, back tomorrow, sleep well Aprils. xxx
Member
Join Date: Apr 2018
Posts: 199
Hello !
Where does the time go?!?
Why is it so hard to type on this forum without making so many errors??
Very important questions indeed !
Daisy - so happy to hear you’re getting your teeth done. You’ll feel sooo good! I am almost done with invisalign and it was a pain in the butt - but worth it. Totally fixed my overbite and crowded bottom teeth are completely straight now. Glad your health is better and onward and upwards ! Hope you are enjoying some sweet dreams tonight ! Xo
Suze - (by the way, have I been spelling it wrong for this whole time?) I understand the place you’re in right now. The lack of motivation and when you’re off work you just want to veg out and watch shows. I’m in the place too when I’m not working, also because it’s Winter I don’t feel quite as active. But this is also common around the 4th step. I think your sponsor will have plenty of stories about how many people seem to ‘stall out’ around this step. Just listen to your body and relax when you need to. Go easy on yourself. This is just a phase and there is still quiet transformation happening
Hey Vipe! Sorry to hear about your sis and family dramarama but hopefully she will come around ! Glad you are finding out more about your illness so you can get to feeling better on a regular basis!!
Hey Erratic ! Hope you are fairing well!! Thinking of you and Nichole ! These days of detox or just out of it are soooo difficult but please keep going forward - keep fighting. You don’t ever have to feel like this again. Sometimes, that thought was enough to get me through another 5 minutes....healing hugs to you.
Hi Dee & Kgirl !! hope you had a lovely weekend!!
💕🦋🧡
Where does the time go?!?
Why is it so hard to type on this forum without making so many errors??
Very important questions indeed !
Daisy - so happy to hear you’re getting your teeth done. You’ll feel sooo good! I am almost done with invisalign and it was a pain in the butt - but worth it. Totally fixed my overbite and crowded bottom teeth are completely straight now. Glad your health is better and onward and upwards ! Hope you are enjoying some sweet dreams tonight ! Xo
Suze - (by the way, have I been spelling it wrong for this whole time?) I understand the place you’re in right now. The lack of motivation and when you’re off work you just want to veg out and watch shows. I’m in the place too when I’m not working, also because it’s Winter I don’t feel quite as active. But this is also common around the 4th step. I think your sponsor will have plenty of stories about how many people seem to ‘stall out’ around this step. Just listen to your body and relax when you need to. Go easy on yourself. This is just a phase and there is still quiet transformation happening
Hey Vipe! Sorry to hear about your sis and family dramarama but hopefully she will come around ! Glad you are finding out more about your illness so you can get to feeling better on a regular basis!!
Hey Erratic ! Hope you are fairing well!! Thinking of you and Nichole ! These days of detox or just out of it are soooo difficult but please keep going forward - keep fighting. You don’t ever have to feel like this again. Sometimes, that thought was enough to get me through another 5 minutes....healing hugs to you.
Hi Dee & Kgirl !! hope you had a lovely weekend!!
💕🦋🧡
Member
Join Date: Apr 2018
Location: Cheshire. U.K
Posts: 8,003
07.40
Good morning Aprils, I hope you're all well and ready to take on whatever Monday throws at you.
I have to take my car into the garage this morning, it's burning oil and when I had the service done in January he said to run it till the red oil light comes on or till I'd driven a further 1000 miles, whichever came first and then take it in. I've almost done the 1000 so in it goes. Not looking forward to it, as you know I hate car stuff, it takes me right out of my comfort zone.
The other thing is that my son is up to something, goodness knows what, but he's lying constantly, I can't believe a word that comes out of his mouth. I had my grandson stay over Friday night,, which is supposed to be a daddy night and his other grandad ( my ex husband from many years ago) arranged to pick him up from me at lunch time to take him somewhere nice and then he would drop him to his dad. I messaged my son to let him know that his dad would be dropping my g.son off to him in the afternoon and he replied saying he needed him back like now! He said it was his friends birthday ( the guy who he rents 2 rooms from) and they were going to a restaurant for 3 o clock. I did think 3 o clock was a strange time to go to restaurant but I didn't say anything and took my g.son back to him. My gson was excited at the prospect of going somewhere good with daddy! It was arranged for me to have my g.son back last night but then got a text from my son saying that he was keeping him there overnight and his 'friend' would drop him off to me this at 9 this morning. I managed to phone my grandson yesterday evening and asked him if he enjoyed the restaurant, he told me that they didn't go, there was no birthday, they didn't do anything!! My first thoughts are that he had arranged to meet a woman and got blown out last minute, I don't know. I don't understand why he tells so many lies. I'll see what my grandson says today, I don't interrogate him I just listen and I learn a lot. Do I call my son out on his lies? Is it worth it? he seems to believe the lies he tells. I just don't know. Anyway.......
Hello to you Bluesey and its lovely to see your posts, as always. I hope you had a lovely weekend.
I find I make loads of errors too when I'm typing here, I'm always editing, lol.
I'm glad I'm going to get my teeth fixed too, I can't wait to get started, I must be the only person I know who is looking forward to seeing the dentist.
Anyway, you're sounding good, have a good week and come back soon.
Erratic, are you okay? I'm getting worried about you.
You too Nichole, please come and post.
I better go now, back later. Lots of love to you all. xxx
Thought for the day....." Change the changeable. Accept the unchangeable. And remove yourself from the unacceptable"
Good morning Aprils, I hope you're all well and ready to take on whatever Monday throws at you.
I have to take my car into the garage this morning, it's burning oil and when I had the service done in January he said to run it till the red oil light comes on or till I'd driven a further 1000 miles, whichever came first and then take it in. I've almost done the 1000 so in it goes. Not looking forward to it, as you know I hate car stuff, it takes me right out of my comfort zone.
The other thing is that my son is up to something, goodness knows what, but he's lying constantly, I can't believe a word that comes out of his mouth. I had my grandson stay over Friday night,, which is supposed to be a daddy night and his other grandad ( my ex husband from many years ago) arranged to pick him up from me at lunch time to take him somewhere nice and then he would drop him to his dad. I messaged my son to let him know that his dad would be dropping my g.son off to him in the afternoon and he replied saying he needed him back like now! He said it was his friends birthday ( the guy who he rents 2 rooms from) and they were going to a restaurant for 3 o clock. I did think 3 o clock was a strange time to go to restaurant but I didn't say anything and took my g.son back to him. My gson was excited at the prospect of going somewhere good with daddy! It was arranged for me to have my g.son back last night but then got a text from my son saying that he was keeping him there overnight and his 'friend' would drop him off to me this at 9 this morning. I managed to phone my grandson yesterday evening and asked him if he enjoyed the restaurant, he told me that they didn't go, there was no birthday, they didn't do anything!! My first thoughts are that he had arranged to meet a woman and got blown out last minute, I don't know. I don't understand why he tells so many lies. I'll see what my grandson says today, I don't interrogate him I just listen and I learn a lot. Do I call my son out on his lies? Is it worth it? he seems to believe the lies he tells. I just don't know. Anyway.......
Hello to you Bluesey and its lovely to see your posts, as always. I hope you had a lovely weekend.
I find I make loads of errors too when I'm typing here, I'm always editing, lol.
I'm glad I'm going to get my teeth fixed too, I can't wait to get started, I must be the only person I know who is looking forward to seeing the dentist.
Anyway, you're sounding good, have a good week and come back soon.
Erratic, are you okay? I'm getting worried about you.
You too Nichole, please come and post.
I better go now, back later. Lots of love to you all. xxx
Thought for the day....." Change the changeable. Accept the unchangeable. And remove yourself from the unacceptable"
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,460
You know he's lying.
I'm not sure what it would achieve to call him out on his lies but to make things worse between you and maybe make it harder for you to see your gson Daisy?
D
I'm not sure what it would achieve to call him out on his lies but to make things worse between you and maybe make it harder for you to see your gson Daisy?
D
Guest
Join Date: Dec 2017
Posts: 752
Hey everyone!!
Sorry I have posted in awhile everything is pretty crazy at the moment...
I’m willing to take any and all advice!!!!!
It took everything I had not to drink last night I finally told my husband I’m unhappy which you can only imagine how that went it hurts to be miserable and mistreated every day and being told what to do and how to do it but what hurts worse faking happiness just to drown yourself in alcohol and numb your self every night to pass out it’s not fair for the kids or me so we will see if things change I hope so if not I’ll go from there
Hopefully everyone is okay have a lovely day
Sorry I have posted in awhile everything is pretty crazy at the moment...
I’m willing to take any and all advice!!!!!
It took everything I had not to drink last night I finally told my husband I’m unhappy which you can only imagine how that went it hurts to be miserable and mistreated every day and being told what to do and how to do it but what hurts worse faking happiness just to drown yourself in alcohol and numb your self every night to pass out it’s not fair for the kids or me so we will see if things change I hope so if not I’ll go from there
Hopefully everyone is okay have a lovely day
Member
Join Date: Apr 2018
Location: Cheshire. U.K
Posts: 8,003
Thanks Dee and I do know that calling him out wouldn't achieve anything, I've done it before and it's pointless, I think I was just sort of musing about it all when I posted earlier. He is a pathological/compulsive liar and he seriously does believe his own lies, it's all part of his narcissistic personality disorder, he lies about everything, it's that bad that if he told me it was raining I'd have to look out of the window to check! He's also very good and gas lighting and projection. I'm best just doing what I always do, putting on a happy facade and giving him no ammunition, the less I tell him the better. It's just tragic that there's a child involved. He would have no hesitation in stopping me from seeing my grandson, he's done it before on more than one occasion.
Member
Join Date: Apr 2018
Location: Cheshire. U.K
Posts: 8,003
Hugs Nichole, you are one of the bravest people I know. It must have been very hard for you to tell your husband that you're unhappy but well done for being honest with him, lets hope it makes him think. You are a very strong woman and you will get through this, but some things need to change. Now is the time to start putting up some barriers, you are entitled to a life, to be happy and your opinion does count. You've taken the first step so lets see how it goes from there. Lots of love to you.
Member
Join Date: Mar 2013
Location: Northeast, US
Posts: 2,073
Nichole!! Kudos on making a first step in that situation. It’s very brave if you. It shows a lot of strength and maturity. You’re right, you can’t raise your kids under these circumstances. It’s so not fair to them. Also, you deserve to be happy.
The more sober you get the easier it’s going to be to see what’s going on. Most importantly, if you are the sober one in this marriage, especially with a sponsor in your corner as witness, you will wield all of the power.
Although some of us are not in AA and people’s opinions vary, I see a lot of help there for you. Those folks step up when someone needs help. Women help women! Everyone around you is a party animal right now, and you’ll need a support system.
Im just saying, it’s an option. Even I’m going to go and I’ve already got 7 months. I just haven’t yet because I’m physically drained.
Enough said.
V
The more sober you get the easier it’s going to be to see what’s going on. Most importantly, if you are the sober one in this marriage, especially with a sponsor in your corner as witness, you will wield all of the power.
Although some of us are not in AA and people’s opinions vary, I see a lot of help there for you. Those folks step up when someone needs help. Women help women! Everyone around you is a party animal right now, and you’ll need a support system.
Im just saying, it’s an option. Even I’m going to go and I’ve already got 7 months. I just haven’t yet because I’m physically drained.
Enough said.
V
Member
Join Date: Mar 2013
Location: Northeast, US
Posts: 2,073
Hola Amigas, I lm feeling a little sorrry for myself with the health setback. It’s almost 1pm and I’m in bed. I got up and got to the coffee shop, but I’m back.
I have a 7pm with my life coach. My issues have totally changed since 10 days ago. I was suppose to be working on career goals. Now it’s about keeping my head above water.
Anyway, still sober. 👍
V🐍
I have a 7pm with my life coach. My issues have totally changed since 10 days ago. I was suppose to be working on career goals. Now it’s about keeping my head above water.
Anyway, still sober. 👍
V🐍
Member
Join Date: Nov 2017
Posts: 2,583
Hi everyone
About to go to bed. We have been out all day at my cousins. Had a lovely day but I am lying in bed now and my head is all over the place just posted on 12 step forum cos I pick up resentments quicker than a mangy dog picks up fleas!!!! Why?! What the hell is wrong with me. I get resentful over things I believe shouldn't have the lightest affect on me and it is getting me down as I don't really care or want to care about anything that doesn't involve me or my daughter but the slightest thing someone does has me seething over it. I guess more will be revealed as i work through my step 4. Maybe there are underlying issues with me... that I am not really happy and so finding fault in others. All I know for sure is I don't want to have feelings like this. They feel poisonous and unhealthy and I really don't want to drink but I can't lie I wish I had something to stop my brain from whirring at the moment.
Hopefully sleep will help.
xxx
About to go to bed. We have been out all day at my cousins. Had a lovely day but I am lying in bed now and my head is all over the place just posted on 12 step forum cos I pick up resentments quicker than a mangy dog picks up fleas!!!! Why?! What the hell is wrong with me. I get resentful over things I believe shouldn't have the lightest affect on me and it is getting me down as I don't really care or want to care about anything that doesn't involve me or my daughter but the slightest thing someone does has me seething over it. I guess more will be revealed as i work through my step 4. Maybe there are underlying issues with me... that I am not really happy and so finding fault in others. All I know for sure is I don't want to have feelings like this. They feel poisonous and unhealthy and I really don't want to drink but I can't lie I wish I had something to stop my brain from whirring at the moment.
Hopefully sleep will help.
xxx
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