Class of October 2018 Part 2
Administrator
Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,384
Class of October 2018 Part 2
Member
Join Date: Oct 2018
Posts: 6
Day 2. Thanks to everyone who said hello yesterday. I need to check in more often today.
Yesterday was good. I kept it simple--short workday, came home and played video games and cooked some tacos. I threw away all the wine I had in the house, took it straight to the dumpster so there's no getting it back. Because I've definitely done the "I'm not drinking anymore" thing in the morning only to fish the booze bottle out of the trash that evening. My addiction feels no shame when it gets what it wants.
Today is going to be a long-ish day at work. I already had a couple of stupid thoughts about drinking this morning. I'm not going to act on them. I don't have the option of drinking before/during work and am heading straight home and checking in here as soon as I'm done.
Wishing everyone the best today.
Yesterday was good. I kept it simple--short workday, came home and played video games and cooked some tacos. I threw away all the wine I had in the house, took it straight to the dumpster so there's no getting it back. Because I've definitely done the "I'm not drinking anymore" thing in the morning only to fish the booze bottle out of the trash that evening. My addiction feels no shame when it gets what it wants.
Today is going to be a long-ish day at work. I already had a couple of stupid thoughts about drinking this morning. I'm not going to act on them. I don't have the option of drinking before/during work and am heading straight home and checking in here as soon as I'm done.
Wishing everyone the best today.
Member
Join Date: Jun 2014
Posts: 96
Oct 23 Day 23
I apologize for posting my progress so often. I am so humbled and grateful for the success so far by being accountable to my class of Oct 2018
I hope all the best for everyone today in their quest for sobriety.
I apologize for posting my progress so often. I am so humbled and grateful for the success so far by being accountable to my class of Oct 2018
I hope all the best for everyone today in their quest for sobriety.
Member
Join Date: Oct 2013
Posts: 11,417
Originally Posted by Spiritman 
Oct 23 Day 23
I apologize for posting my progress so often. I am so humbled and grateful for the success so far by being accountable to my class of Oct 2018
I hope all the best for everyone today in their quest for sobriety.
I apologize for posting my progress so often. I am so humbled and grateful for the success so far by being accountable to my class of Oct 2018
I hope all the best for everyone today in their quest for sobriety.
Day 17 for me in sobriety, and my keto lifestyle change has helped me lose 8 pounds so far.
I'm sleeping better and feeling more hopeful than I have been in a long time.
The first steps are hard, but we build momentum with persistence.
Member
Join Date: Sep 2018
Location: London UK
Posts: 84
Agreed Hawk, keep posting Spirit your days match the date of the month is really positive.
Welcome to the October group all you newcomers we are all working through this together and it’s kind of fun! Is not always easy but slowly becomes worth it as we build up that momentum putting days together.
Welcome to the October group all you newcomers we are all working through this together and it’s kind of fun! Is not always easy but slowly becomes worth it as we build up that momentum putting days together.
Member
Join Date: Jun 2011
Posts: 543
Dee 74... thanks for your reply on Part 1 of this thread. I think you explained it better... I am not conning all of you, I am conning myself. There have been so many times this year where I say "This is it" but then go back on my word.
This weekend was really frustrating because I felt like I was going to overcome the AV moments... but then I think "I'm alone, I have several hours before bed, I am bored." I know if I keep pushing forward with time, those cravings and fears will subside.
The odd thing is that now my hangovers from drinking are taking the primary form of shame.
This weekend was really frustrating because I felt like I was going to overcome the AV moments... but then I think "I'm alone, I have several hours before bed, I am bored." I know if I keep pushing forward with time, those cravings and fears will subside.
The odd thing is that now my hangovers from drinking are taking the primary form of shame.
Member
Join Date: Oct 2013
Posts: 11,417
There's lots of shame around drinking--both self and socially imposed.
You can't change the past, but you can the present which then becomes the future.
Big thing to do is find a way to forgive yourself--also forgive yourself for craving.
It's how you coped for many years, and of course it is a habit that lasts for awhile.
That's a normal thing.
Just keep pushing past it, and support yourself, and it will abate with time.
If you can, talking to a therapist short term to process the shame, anger, fear, resentment, etc.--this really helped me.
You can't change the past, but you can the present which then becomes the future.
Big thing to do is find a way to forgive yourself--also forgive yourself for craving.
It's how you coped for many years, and of course it is a habit that lasts for awhile.
That's a normal thing.
Just keep pushing past it, and support yourself, and it will abate with time.
If you can, talking to a therapist short term to process the shame, anger, fear, resentment, etc.--this really helped me.
Member
Join Date: Oct 2018
Location: New Mexico
Posts: 1,339
I had a much better day today than yesterday, when I was having cravings for the first time in a long spell. That feeling was very disruptive to my overall state, and I had to do things to counteract it as best as possible. There may be other days like yesterday, but at least I know I can get through it.
Member
Join Date: Jun 2011
Posts: 543
Originally Posted by Hawkeye13
You can't change the past, but you can the present which then becomes the future.
Big thing to do is find a way to forgive yourself--also forgive yourself for craving.
It's how you coped for many years, and of course it is a habit that lasts for awhile.
That's a normal thing.
Just keep pushing past it, and support yourself, and it will abate with time.
If you can, talking to a therapist short term to process the shame, anger, fear, resentment, etc.--this really helped me.
Big thing to do is find a way to forgive yourself--also forgive yourself for craving.
It's how you coped for many years, and of course it is a habit that lasts for awhile.
That's a normal thing.
Just keep pushing past it, and support yourself, and it will abate with time.
If you can, talking to a therapist short term to process the shame, anger, fear, resentment, etc.--this really helped me.
It's a fine line though. The setbacks should be taken seriously and a "temporary setback" diminishes the sense of urgency. As I said earlier, I need to treat this with urgency because I've been on this journey for a long time and I am not getting any younger (or healthier).
"Present which becomes the future" and "pushing through it" are great thoughts... because the few long term sober people in the room tonight all said that the cravings to consume stopped for them after 2-3 months... that seems very doable and it gives me hope (understanding that everyone is different in their journey).
I feel exhausted a bit because I am anxiously trying to keep myself busy so I don't think about it... but it was good to know that the need to keep myself busy to minimize cravings and temptation is temporary.
Member
Join Date: Jan 2015
Location: London, England
Posts: 7,057
Morning all.
I am still sober in what has been a somewhat stressful week for reasons other than drinking (or not). It is very difficult having no one to talk problems over with living alone. Everything goes round and round in my head, blood pressure spirals and I feel like I am going mad at times!
I actually wondered whether I should have a drink to calm myself down as I was worried about how stressed I was getting. Typical AV thinking.
Anyway I am marching onwards and upwards.
Well done classmates.
I am still sober in what has been a somewhat stressful week for reasons other than drinking (or not). It is very difficult having no one to talk problems over with living alone. Everything goes round and round in my head, blood pressure spirals and I feel like I am going mad at times!
I actually wondered whether I should have a drink to calm myself down as I was worried about how stressed I was getting. Typical AV thinking.
Anyway I am marching onwards and upwards.
Well done classmates.
Member
Join Date: Dec 2014
Location: sydney nsw
Posts: 785
Wrapping up day 21 and moving onto my 4th week. it hasnt always been easy but my cravings/desire to drink has virtually diminshed. This time around , my third attempt on sobriety in my life I have overdosed on sobriety podcasts and listen to these on my 1 hour long commutes to/from work every day. I find these so fascinating and educational. Sobriety and staying sober takes so much more than just removing the bottle. the real job starts when you remove it.
My partner and I have finally started small talk again. He hasnt mentioned one thing about me not drinking, obviously he as noticed that I am not holding onto a previously constant wine glass in my hand. I think this will become a talking point on the weekend. He was so desperate/ angry/ worried about me that he gave me an ultimatum. pretty much he could not plan retirement with me as all I would do is drink and that was no life for either of us. After 30 years together he said he had had enough. Then he went to Bali for 2 weeks me on a bender for 4 days at home alone. Called in sick at work for 2 days ordered more wine home delivered and got trashed. Then the next day after finishing my last bottle of wine I said thats it. I want to go sober for all reasons, my life, health, relationship with him and generally want to be in life not just comatosed on the lounge every weekend and feeling like dearh going to work on a Monday. I never gave him a weekend of anything except me drunk from morning to night.. I seriously would probably not have stayed together this long if tables were turned..
jeez feel better after writing this.. thats a wrap and towards a month.. I am then going to extend my sobriety by 30 days as this seems more achievable than forever.. baby steps plus my tool kit.. anyone here done AA mediation meetings in Australia??
My partner and I have finally started small talk again. He hasnt mentioned one thing about me not drinking, obviously he as noticed that I am not holding onto a previously constant wine glass in my hand. I think this will become a talking point on the weekend. He was so desperate/ angry/ worried about me that he gave me an ultimatum. pretty much he could not plan retirement with me as all I would do is drink and that was no life for either of us. After 30 years together he said he had had enough. Then he went to Bali for 2 weeks me on a bender for 4 days at home alone. Called in sick at work for 2 days ordered more wine home delivered and got trashed. Then the next day after finishing my last bottle of wine I said thats it. I want to go sober for all reasons, my life, health, relationship with him and generally want to be in life not just comatosed on the lounge every weekend and feeling like dearh going to work on a Monday. I never gave him a weekend of anything except me drunk from morning to night.. I seriously would probably not have stayed together this long if tables were turned..
jeez feel better after writing this.. thats a wrap and towards a month.. I am then going to extend my sobriety by 30 days as this seems more achievable than forever.. baby steps plus my tool kit.. anyone here done AA mediation meetings in Australia??
Member
Join Date: Sep 2018
Location: London UK
Posts: 84
Glad it went mostly well gbv if it all went well would be too easy!
The cravings can be a nitemare TJ / Guener. I find not allowing to get myself too hungry and keeping very hydrated really help.
Nice work Kaily you know you can always talk things over with the people here. Keep going, as you say onwards and upwards to all of the October class. We’re doing this....
The cravings can be a nitemare TJ / Guener. I find not allowing to get myself too hungry and keeping very hydrated really help.
Nice work Kaily you know you can always talk things over with the people here. Keep going, as you say onwards and upwards to all of the October class. We’re doing this....
Member
Join Date: Mar 2015
Location: East Coast
Posts: 1,134
Joining and saying hi!!
Hi folks, I'd like to join in for October. I was doing well and then had a glass of wine at work on Oct. 16th. I was at work and was confronted with a situation that was too tempting and gave in. It was partly because the glass of wine looked so good and partly because I felt bad for the guy who set it all up - I have people pleasing tendencies that I need to work on if I'm going to stay permanently sober, which I want to! Even though it was one glass, I noticed the effects on me. I actually got into a slight argument with a guy at work over politics, which I would probably never let myself get into if I hadn't had any wine in my system. So.... it is a dangerous slippery slope for me. I reset my sobriety date to 10.17 and haven't been tempted to drink since, so have a week now under my belt. I have a nice counter on my phone (I actually have 5 sobriety apps, and they do all the tracking and counting for me
Very easy! My job is to just keep it up.)
Last night I went to yoga and it was glorious. The theme of the glass was letting go of old patterns and looking to change yourself for the future. It was so spot on for me right now. I pictured some of my past situations with alcohol, particularly a work event where I drank too much and was so sick in the middle of the night and sick and even buzzed during the morning sessions!! I have another one of these events coming up and I don't want to do that again. I want to change my pattern! I'm going to start planning now to make sure it doesn't happen again!
So, I'm doing well and would like to join in. I need to keep going to yoga as well - it keeps me healthy and sane.
BIG shout out to Sydneyman. Remember me from our old thread! I have missed you and good to see you back. Shout out to everyone else here as well! Later, all!
p.s. I'm going to try a new technique here and not use the thanks button. I found it really distracting in the past and noticed on my phone there is no thanks button, which is nice. I just think it's an added distraction that is not necessary and I find myself in people pleasing mode when I use it. So please know that I'm not using it for practical purposes! I'm still reading all posts
Hi folks, I'd like to join in for October. I was doing well and then had a glass of wine at work on Oct. 16th. I was at work and was confronted with a situation that was too tempting and gave in. It was partly because the glass of wine looked so good and partly because I felt bad for the guy who set it all up - I have people pleasing tendencies that I need to work on if I'm going to stay permanently sober, which I want to! Even though it was one glass, I noticed the effects on me. I actually got into a slight argument with a guy at work over politics, which I would probably never let myself get into if I hadn't had any wine in my system. So.... it is a dangerous slippery slope for me. I reset my sobriety date to 10.17 and haven't been tempted to drink since, so have a week now under my belt. I have a nice counter on my phone (I actually have 5 sobriety apps, and they do all the tracking and counting for me
Very easy! My job is to just keep it up.)Last night I went to yoga and it was glorious. The theme of the glass was letting go of old patterns and looking to change yourself for the future. It was so spot on for me right now. I pictured some of my past situations with alcohol, particularly a work event where I drank too much and was so sick in the middle of the night and sick and even buzzed during the morning sessions!! I have another one of these events coming up and I don't want to do that again. I want to change my pattern! I'm going to start planning now to make sure it doesn't happen again!
So, I'm doing well and would like to join in. I need to keep going to yoga as well - it keeps me healthy and sane.
BIG shout out to Sydneyman. Remember me from our old thread! I have missed you and good to see you back. Shout out to everyone else here as well! Later, all!
p.s. I'm going to try a new technique here and not use the thanks button. I found it really distracting in the past and noticed on my phone there is no thanks button, which is nice. I just think it's an added distraction that is not necessary and I find myself in people pleasing mode when I use it. So please know that I'm not using it for practical purposes! I'm still reading all posts
Member
Join Date: Mar 2014
Posts: 25,373
Greetings, Octsoberists.
I'm just gonna put this here because not saying it may be keeping me stuck, I don't know.
I've got to get a handle on/quit buying sugary treats. It feels exactly the same to me as my drinking. Once I start eating it, if it's at my house, I'll eat the entire package. No saving any till tomorrow, no moderate Nutter Butters eating. It is the same type of compulsion as alcohol was for me and I have to put it down.
So, even though I have been sober from alcohol for 4.5 years, I continue to try to moderate my candy/ice cream/cookies/donuts/pie and lately I fail more times than not. I really don't want to have to abstain, but I am not able to control it any other way.
Day One. I'm not going to bring any of it home. I'm going to make it as serious and as honest as my alcohol sobriety. I have to, because feeling like I do after I eat an entire bag of Halloween candy alone on my couch in an hour has to stop. I had it under control for a while but all it takes is bringing home one pumpkin pie or one bag of cookies and all bets are off.
At one point I was 80 pounds over weight. I'm now at a healthy weight but the nagging inner turmoil surrounding this issue is still with me. It ends today. I just can't eat the stuff. I hope you all don't mind my posting here. It was my first addiction, started when I was six years old. Stealing money, stealing candy, hiding in the closet to comfort myself with bags of colorful treats.
Yeah.
/the end.
I'm just gonna put this here because not saying it may be keeping me stuck, I don't know.
I've got to get a handle on/quit buying sugary treats. It feels exactly the same to me as my drinking. Once I start eating it, if it's at my house, I'll eat the entire package. No saving any till tomorrow, no moderate Nutter Butters eating. It is the same type of compulsion as alcohol was for me and I have to put it down.
So, even though I have been sober from alcohol for 4.5 years, I continue to try to moderate my candy/ice cream/cookies/donuts/pie and lately I fail more times than not. I really don't want to have to abstain, but I am not able to control it any other way.
Day One. I'm not going to bring any of it home. I'm going to make it as serious and as honest as my alcohol sobriety. I have to, because feeling like I do after I eat an entire bag of Halloween candy alone on my couch in an hour has to stop. I had it under control for a while but all it takes is bringing home one pumpkin pie or one bag of cookies and all bets are off.
At one point I was 80 pounds over weight. I'm now at a healthy weight but the nagging inner turmoil surrounding this issue is still with me. It ends today. I just can't eat the stuff. I hope you all don't mind my posting here. It was my first addiction, started when I was six years old. Stealing money, stealing candy, hiding in the closet to comfort myself with bags of colorful treats.
Yeah.
/the end.
Currently Active Users Viewing this Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
