Sunflowerlife

Glad to hear it Batholith- visualization is actually a great tool for rewiring the brain and changing old/bad habits! You could set a timer and spend 5 minutes a day visualizing your new life and the new "you."

You can do this!

Sunflowerlife

Snow in June? That must have been something! It's in the 80s and 90s here but we are getting a lot of clouds and rain this week which does not make it fun to go to the pool! I am potty training my little guy Mon-Wednesday- that should be fun! Basically we stay home for 3 days and he gets to run around naked.

Kids are up and I am trying to be patient this morning as hubby sleeps in. We are going to a movie when he wakes up- should be a fun Father's Day.

Hope everyone enjoys the rest of their weekend!

WeaverBird

Good morning. Another glorious day in the U.K. known the world over for its beach resort weather. People flock here to get a tan and some vitamin D. (Hoping for that snow.)

I have a plan to take alcohol even more seriously after yesterday's shenanigans. It really is a subtle foe.

Didn't get much sleep so hope Body Combat will wake me up. I think my eyes are getting whiter. I'm getting gorgeous, we're all gorgeous Mayflowers! Hope you all have the best day

Sunflowerlife

Hey Weev- what happened yesterday? Are you feeling better today? Have you read any recovery books or do you have time to listen to podcasts? Maybe you just need some more tools. Have a great day!

WeaverBird

Hey Sunny, how's the potty training going? Too cute. It's hot hot hot here again. Great weather for Sunflowers and their babes to run around in.

I'm ok. I was caught out by a visit with my husband's sister. He died and it has taken a while for us to work through stuff. I didn't give it enough thought, just charged in, without thinking there'd be emotional consequences. Almost lost it but with much help from here I'm on day 46 and still plodding along.

I'm listening to a guy called Rob in my car at moment. I love it. It's like someone knows the way my mind works. I'll have to find a podcast so I can listen on my phone. I struggle with the supermarket at the moment. I almost break my neck walking by their promotional stands sometimes. They're very clever marketers.

I always think of you. I like your calm determined approach to sobriety! I'd like to be like that. I'm a bit prone to the outburst, followed by oh well it's all broken now so I mights as well have a drink. Nonsense head xxx

Rainman1

Hey gang,
Since I got sober (May 6 was last drink) I've gone on 3 business trips, I've had someone with me who knew I wasn't drinking and why. On this trip I brought my wife, we left town Sat, flew into Detroit and got to visit with my Dad and family for a bit, Sunday we drove to Cleveland for my work. Anyway we were suppose to fly back home tonight but things didn't work out and I have to stay another day or two. Because of change fees and such we couldn't afford for her to stay. Now I'm here by myself, the old me says go ahead you can drink, no one will know. The new me is telling the old me "no we're not going to drink" I'm really proud of myself for saying no, but why am I sitting up here in my room with tears just flowing. I'm a 58 year old man WTF

WeaverBird

Hey Rainman, glad you're here. Don't drink and post lots and it will pass.
I was where you are on Sunday, just sobbing with frustration, can't drink, can't face life not drinking. But that passed too.
May 6 was my last drink too. We're heading for 7 weeks, and I was the kind of drinker who never saw any reason not to drink, and then drank some more to forget the consequences, so that's a miracle. Another day 1 is not an option for me - next time I drink could be it, game over. I just have to find how to get through those moments when all I can think about is booze. That's not easy because my head automatically goes for the easy fix. Calling sponsor, posting in newcomers has worked so far, and I'm learning all the time.
You've done so much in these early days. I'm not sure I could have made one business trip. All those anonymous hotel rooms. I can remember once starting on the mini bar with no intention to behave badly and a couple? of days later coming round, in another country, with people I didn't have any memory of. It got worse.
So all power to you. Do whatever it takes to protect your 47 days. Let us know how you're doing.

Dee74

The early days are hard...and added to that we have to get used to getting emotional again.

You'll look back and be proud of the decisions you'll made rainman - keep going - you too Weevl, BB SFL and anyone else lurking

D

Sunflowerlife

My heart aches for you and for that familiar pain. This is hard Rainman. If it was easy none of us would be here. You are mourning the loss of a habit that was numbing, a habit that most likely made life seem better temporarily and perhaps a habit that was fun for a while. Now we have to learn how to live life in a different way and that takes a lot of guts, time and a complete rewiring of our brain and body! Give yourself huge props for saying NO. For hanging in there and not giving into temptation when it was so easy to do so. I am proud of you- please let us know how you are feeling today!

Sunflowerlife

It's been 7 weeks and a day since I took that last sip of alcohol. It actually feels like a lifetime and I'm not sure if that's good or bad.
Things have been good- it's nice to be in a new house with zero drunk memories to attach to any of these room. I will never drink in this house- I will never be drunk on this porch- I will never sip wine will my kids play in the backyard. That is refreshing and a huge motivator for me because I do not want to ever break that.

I haven't been doing anything for my sobriety other than checking in here. I'd like to add a meeting of some sort but am not interested in AA simply because I don't want to announce that I am an alcoholic every time I speak. I don't know why, considering I know that is the case. I guess the word just doesn't sit well with me and I am a firm believer that the "I AM" statement is a very powerful one.

I wish there were Refuge Recovery meetings in my area, that would be amazing. There is one an hour away- I would have to ask my husband if I could go. Maybe if I enjoy it I can start one here in my town.

Anyway, just rambling.
On day 3 of potty training our little guy and it's going well but I can't wait to be able to leave the house with him tomorrow! We are basically on lock down until he masters the potty lol.

I hope everyone is doing well, and hope to hear from more of you.

Rainman1

Thought I would check in and give y'all an update. I'm still out of town but with the help of SR I'm happy to say I'm still sober. Weev, Sun and Dee thank you or the words of encouragement.

Rainman

Dee74

good going rainman

D

BatholithBabe

Hi guys, it's me. I slipped again last Sunday. I knew I didn't want it, I just like hating myself sometimes I guess. A bottle of wine in a few hours. I don't want to go to AA because this is a very small rural area and everybody knows everybody and I am a very private person. Groups take away too much of my energy. I tell myself a bottle of wine once a week is not a bad thing. And for anyone else but me, that would be OK. Drinking alcohol makes me depressed and anxious. The amount doesn't matter so much, it's the history of my drinking catching up with me and the damage to my body I have inflicted since my 20s. I want vibrancy, clean health and energy. As much as I can handle at 56!!!

BUT, it's a big but, I'm winning the little battles, I truly am. This weekend SO and I are going to the cottage. Infamous drinking spot in the past. I have my toolbox ready to go: tea/pop/water, journaling, music and movies, crafts. SO will drink his beer. But since his stroke, he has cut back significantly.

Anyhoo.......onwards and upwards. And as Winston Churchill once said, I will "never, never give up."

Peace and Love.

Dee74

This is a good link on recovery plans BB - you could do worse to take a look - maybe add a few more strings to your bow?

http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...ery-plans.html

D

Sunflowerlife

Hi Weev- I am so sorry to hear about your husband- how long has it been? I can't even imagine the pain you are dealing with and to be getting sober at a time like this is something else, truly.

Who is this "Rob" guy? I love podcasts. I mostly listen to health/nutrition but I also like Recovery Elevator and The Bubble Hour. Let me know if you have another to recommend.

Yes, clever marketing can get us sometimes. Is it the booze or food you are struggling with at the store? I'm so glad the grocery stores here can't sell beer and wine like they did where we moved from. That's how I stayed drunk for so long- I would drop my older son off at preschool and then get wine at 9:00 from the grocery store. So glad those days are over.

Thank you for calling me "calm and determined"- that feels nice to hear. I have been at this for a year and a half now and it's like it finally clicked, like I heard others talking about. I never understood why relapse was part of the process but now I get it- every single attempt, every day/week/month I have been sober and every relapse and poor choice has gotten me to this point. I am stronger now than I've ever been and sometimes I surprise myself. I just know I never want to go back to that dark place again- I can't physically or mentally handle the pain anymore and the booze just isn't fun anymore with the exception of that first hour or two. Then it's all downhill...

Wishing you a great day, and to everyone else as well.
Our little champ did great with potty training at home for 3 days and we are going to meet a friend at the pool in a bit. It will be our first public adventure without diapers- wish us luck!!

Sunflowerlife

Way to go Rainman!! So, so proud of you- keep on moving forward!

WeaverBird

Me too, Rainman. Hope you're home from business now, back in familiar surroundings where you can get back into the old routine and breathe.
Holding on for 7 weeks tomorrow

WeaverBird

Also Hi to Caramel and BatholithBabe. Haven't seen you in a while. Is all going to plan?

Rainman1

I think I'm being tested to see exactly how much I want sobriety. I'm at the airport, I wasn't able to get on the 3:25 flight so now I'm stuck in the airport waiting on my flight that leaves at 7.. in the past it did not bother me to sit in an airport for 5 hours, I could drink and expense it, I am sitting in a Irish Pub, instead of a beer I have a Dr Pepper in front of me.. the fish and chips looked good but it's beer battered so I opted for the welsh dip pub pretzel

RM

Sunflowerlife

Damn the tests thrown at us by the Universe- or is it simply a delayed flight and nothing more? The pretzel sounds good but please be careful if you are feeling the slightest bit tempted at that bar! Are there any massage places at the airport? That's what I would do. That and get a really good novel and dive in. I haven't read fiction in so long- how nice to have a couple hours to escape into a book!

Whatever you decide to do, please check in again before your flight.