Paix Amour

Just pulled over to let coco stretch her legs and go for a wee. Not far from home now. Had to meet furniture delivery people at my and my ex's family bach to deliver new beds etc. My ex brought some new furniture but couldn't meet them down there.

It's not a cry for help. It's a realisation. I realise that I don't really matter to anybody on this earth. My parents never wanted me as a baby, as a child or adult. As a child, my elder brothers and I had to find for ourselves. Our parents werent alcohol or drug addicts. They were/are addicted to money.

I got married at 18 years old and even my husband didn't want me. He had affair after affair after affair until he chose to move out with a woman off a dating site. I found out I was pregnant with our second baby 1 week after he left. So I have been the main parent for our second child since birth. My ex has recently started having him every weekend. But before that, I've been on my own. And all whilst still grieving for my daughter all alone, no husband or family.

I could go on all day but I wasn't wanted as a child or a wife, and I'm not wanted as a mother. Even my son hates me. He has aspergers but everyday all day he calls me names.....fat.....b*tch....the F word and everything else.

I'm just not wanted or liked by anybody. I even hate myself. That's the truth. Like I said it's not a cry for help. I'm just stating a fact?