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Class Of January 2016 Support Thread part 6

Old 02-27-2016, 06:38 AM
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Hey Sunflower--thinking about you as you navigate your marriage and parenting.
You're right that parenting is the hardest job you will ever do. And you're doing it Sober! Kudos for that. And good to hear your cough is gone.

Glad you bought lots of food instead of alcohol Take care and sending Hugs.

Hi Olivia--good that you finally got RX meds. Spring will soon be here so hope you kick this bug!

Hiya Thump--if you're ever in the mood to share some of your lyrics, would love to hear them.

It's a unseasonably warm late winter sunny day here...hmm, so many choices. Clean the garage or a long bike ride? Both? Yes!

Wishing everyone a Good Sober day & evening. Thanks SR
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Old 02-27-2016, 06:38 AM
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Thanks Olivia (Marcia, right?) you help me feel so much better. I am not perfect by any means but damnit I am trying.

Enjoy the warmer day- it's been totally unpredictable here here as well. Summer dress one day, hoodie and jeans the next. Have a great weekend!
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Old 02-27-2016, 08:22 AM
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Well...I'm back to day one

I had 4 drinks on Tuesday and 4 more last nite.

I'm not going to beat myself up over it... Just need to rework my plan and move forward.

I keep telling myself "I can't drink". Well the fact is I can drink, I need to just choose not to.

I'm will be staying close and posting more. I really thought I had the AV beat.

Stay strong everyone!!!
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Old 02-27-2016, 09:11 AM
  # 344 (permalink)  
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Oh, Illi. Keep at it, sweetie.
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Old 02-27-2016, 09:44 AM
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Hiya Sunny. I think it's really important that you not let your DH grind the 4-year-old's self-esteem down. I speak from personal experience. I spent my boyhood trying to please my father, but it seemed that nothing was ever good enough. I think he was trying to instill high standards in me, but they were ridiculously so, I see in hindsight -- and his withheld approval inflicted on me one hell of an inferiority complex that I still struggle with.

Make sure he's doling out at least as much praise as correction, and preferably much more ("one aw s**t wipes out ten atta boys," right?).

Bandi, I'm happy to post lyrics and such when I think they're germane -- but it seems like grandstanding just to do it out of the blue.
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Old 02-27-2016, 09:46 AM
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Sunny, I went through the same parenting dilemma with my husband. He was far too harsh with criticism, and me being an ACOA, wasn’t going to stand by and allow it. We butted heads for years, but fortunately both kids turned out okay. I have to admit that I have a closer and more open relationship with my kids than my husband does, which is a shame because I didn’t have a “father figure” in my life as a child and I really wanted my children to have the “all American family” life. If you can persuade your husband to get counseling with you, I think it would be well worth the sacrifice of time and money!
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Old 02-27-2016, 10:00 AM
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Dang, a toothache kept waking me up last night, hopefully switching back to a sensitive toothpaste will resolve it.

Sister still in the hospital, but improving daily. Mom is at home looking up all of the side effects of her medication and then refusing to take them; her primary doctor has earned his place in heaven. Yep, mom is not the best patient.

I'll be heading out to visit her soon, which eats up most of my day due to the travel time. Only 60 miles away, but the commute is at least two hours thanks to So. California traffic.

Thank you everyone for your well wishes for my family and your support. I'll check back in this evening.

illi, keep coming back, it will stick eventually! For me, there is no such thing as a drink, it always escalates to 6-10 in no time. I only have to refuse the first drink, because if I give into it, I have no control after that. Hugs to you!
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Old 02-27-2016, 01:22 PM
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Hi Sunflower, marriage and parenting is definitely not easy, I'm sure my husband and I drive each other equally crazy some days. Each stage of parenting brings its own challenges, my girls are tweens, and I love them dearly, but sometimes I wonder what they did with my sweet girls! My little guy still thinks mom is the best, I hope it always stays that way!

Odelle, still sending prayers for your family.

Illi, sorry you are struggling. Maybe take a look back at Dee's link about plans, and log in here next time you are thinking about having a drink, there is always someone around to talk you through that urge.

Bandicoot, yes, we will hit 60 days on Monday, I am excited to share this milestone with you! I think Pedro will as well. Who else started January 1st?

So far my Saturday has been good. I forced myself out of bed to take yoga this morning, it is a 90 minute class and I know I would feel better after going. One of my daughters has two different theater rehearsals today, one of which lasts until nine. I will be bringing my new JD Robb book with me to read while I wait.

Hope everyone is doing well!!!

❤️Delilah
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Old 02-27-2016, 03:43 PM
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Thanks Sun! From experience, my husband's criticism affected both of our kids. My daughter looks up to her dad so much but I can still see the disappointment in her. All work and no play dad and criticism! Really! My son and dad don't get along too well and my son was a pain in the arse to raise. Heart of gold, but oh such dumb moves! Some men don't realize how critical they are. He loves our son dearly but.... You are on the right track. Keep it up! I used to tell them "ah, don't listen to dad!", "don't take him so seriously", etc. Brings back memories here for sure!

Thump... Oh those dad's! Mom's are usually so much nicer!

Boat show was really good! First day my husband said a cold beer sounded good. Seemed like everyone was drinking there. So.....
We went and ate!!! Yay. No booze. Hubband quit date Jan 1. Someone said Jan 1 ... bandicoot maybe! Yay! I had that slip back in January.

Gotta go for now. Quick check in while husband was looking in Good Will! You just never know what u might find he says!

Marcia !!!!
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Old 02-27-2016, 04:31 PM
  # 350 (permalink)  
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Good morning everyone.
I hope you are feeling better sunflower. I'm not a parent, yet, but I'm sure I will face the same issues of parenting style. but as a kids teacher, you want happy kids that also know if they have done the wrong thing. Thinking of you.
Illi, hang in there. Retweak your plan and continue with your sober journey. We can always learn something from our past efforts. Great job posting straight away.
I'm at 5 weeks today! I've had a pretty full-on week. I came home last and just cried on my husbands shoulder. My head doesn't feel right. It's 4 days without cigarettes. I CAN'T believe you tackled them both at the same time, Odelle! I do get your idea of going through cravings at the same time but I can't imagine doing it myself. You're superwoman!
I guess a combination of not drinking, not smoking, hormones being pumped through my body and a busy work schedule are taking a toll on me. To make it worse I have my dance performance today. The rehearsal last night was appalling. My head is just not working!! Honestly, what do people do with themselves without drinking, smoking or completely pigging out.
I can't remember who wrote it but I want to be a "normal" person too! I always prided myself in being different, but now I do want the white picket fence and 2.3 kids.
Great to log in here and find everyone doing well and encouraging and supporting each other.
Have a lovely day/night.
Take care and carry on!
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Old 02-27-2016, 04:34 PM
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Bandicoot, Delilah and Pedro big Congratulations for your near 60 days. I read it takes about 6 weeks for your liver to start functioning well again. Your liver is loving it! Well done!
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Old 02-27-2016, 04:37 PM
  # 352 (permalink)  
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^^^^^^^
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Old 02-27-2016, 04:47 PM
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Illi - yea bummer but good for u for coming right back. It's a hard path we are all on.

Two more things about kids and I'll get off this.

First, I can't stress discipline enough. I am not a big, strict disciplinarian. I feel like my parents didn't have to discipline me. I hated disciplining my kids in front of others. That will shoot you in the foot too! Discipline is a must!

And be careful letting your kids see you partying all the time and/or drunk. They sure pick up on that behavior. Bad bad bad.... They learn by example! My son and I seem to have the binge genetics and my husband and daughter, the steady drink genetics. That binge stuff sux! Why even bother if you're gonna drink like that!

Ok back to my book.

Carry on!

Olivia.
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Old 02-27-2016, 05:51 PM
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hope everyone is well. Just checking in again on day 59 today Have a great day everyone!
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Old 02-27-2016, 08:06 PM
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Good to hear everyone's updates.

Hey illi, glad you're still with us and posted right away! Do you know what triggered your drinking? If you already said so, sorry but I missed it.

I agree with Odelle---that 1st drink would start it all for me too and after that it's all downhill.

Olivia--that's pretty cool that your hubby stopped drinking too! Hope you're 100% better soon.

Sandy--thanks for the info...that' s interesting about the liver taking 6 weeks to begin healing. I hope I stopped drinking in time and I'll find out in late April (blood tests & full physical scheduled) the extent of the damage from over 20 years of alcohol abuse. Hopefully my new habits of eating super healthy, drinking tons of water and herbal teas, taking high quality vitamins and fish oil, and exercise are helping my poor liver. I've lost 20 lbs. and feel really good and strong. Fingers crossed! I also went on another cleaning spree today--feels good to catch up on long neglected stuff.

Yes Delilah---60 days on Monday!! Let's have Cake to celebrate! We can check with Strat to see where she finds her beautiful cakes.

Take care everyone
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Old 02-28-2016, 05:55 AM
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Bandi - wow! 20 lbs! That's awesome. I bet you do feel great!! When I quit in 2009 for four months I lost 15-20 lbs and felt great! Just super! The weight isn't coming off on my husband nor myself this time. But... Gonna have to start concentrating on food sources. Scale back a bit especially sugar. Has anyone ever heard that cancer loves sugar? I think I've read that before. I have enough cancer in the genes that I'd like to knock sugar out of my "diet".

Congrats to the 60 dayers tomorrow!

72 here in STL today! Think I will get my bike out and enjoy!

Take care.

Olivia
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Old 02-28-2016, 05:59 AM
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Checking in on day 60. =)
I made it though Birthday's, anniversary, valentines day and vacation time.
So proud of myself. I didn't know if i would. But here i am feeling fantastic.
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Old 02-28-2016, 06:42 AM
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Congratulations on 60 days Meshelly! :

Hold the door, youve got several people on your heels, Bandi, Delilah, Pedro and MAV will join you tomorrow! :
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Old 02-28-2016, 06:43 AM
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I'm at 5 weeks today! I've had a pretty full-on week. I came home last and just cried on my husbands shoulder. My head doesn't feel right. It's 4 days without cigarettes. I CAN'T believe you tackled them both at the same time, Odelle! I do get your idea of going through cravings at the same time but I can't imagine doing it myself.”

Sandy, you are still very early in sobriety so believe it or not, you are giving up two major addictions at the same time too! I think I was 2.5 weeks into my sobriety when I kicked cigarettes to the curb. For the record, I’ve had more emotional break downs over the nicotine break-up then I’ve ever had over alcohol. Hang in there, we’re doing it!
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Old 02-28-2016, 08:52 AM
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No time to catch up on everyone's posts - but just dropping a note for accountability. It's a working weekend, and I will be on a long-slog through to the 11th and then another major project packing my time through the end of March. Blech. But I have beeb having no AV issues and am glad to be dealing with my first big work push with a fresh head each morning. My work is such that there are a number of these each year and traditionally I'd drink less over them but still be less than 100%, for sure. Then I'd "celebrate" the end with a heavy night or two of drinking. I'm thinking maybe this time I'll celebrate with a massage or maybe a night out of town.
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