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Class Of January 2016 Support Thread part 6

Old 02-23-2016, 05:09 PM
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Awe, Mr. Thump, I feel for you, I really do. As long as you keep improving yourself, life can only get better for you, and that may or may not include her in your future. But you know what? It could be that there is someone else out there that you are destined to meet, so keep an open heart and mind, you may be pleasantly surprised!
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Old 02-23-2016, 06:13 PM
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(((Thump)))
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Old 02-23-2016, 07:09 PM
  # 283 (permalink)  
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Thanks to the both of you. A little thinking has found me in possession of a plan that should provide me with the objectivity I need to address these feelings when the time is better for me to do so.

AV true to make hay of it, but a rejoinder of stfu works for me at this point
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Old 02-23-2016, 08:04 PM
  # 284 (permalink)  
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Our class has been a little quiet the past few days, I hope everyone is doing well, in sobriety, relationships, and in health!

My sister is still in the hospital, after a turn for the worse on Saturday, she had emergency surgery to clear out the infection from her chest cavity on Sunday. She seems to be do better today. My mother ended up with a chest infection over the weekend and is now in the hospital, partially due to fluid build up from ongoing degenerative heart disease. Hopefully, tomorrow will be a better day!
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Old 02-23-2016, 08:16 PM
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I hope your sister and your mother make a quick recovery, Odelle.
All well here, a case of "no news is good news" at the moment.
Well done to you on stopping smoking, by the way. I did it some years ago after numerous attempts, but the final time I "knew" it was going to happen. Hope you are feeling the benefits
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Old 02-23-2016, 08:44 PM
  # 286 (permalink)  
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Thanks for the well wishes, Caramel. I’m finding the quitting smoking more difficult and mentally consuming than quitting drinking. Fortunately, my AV has been so engrossed with driving me nuts about smoking that it has completely forgotten about wine. Haha, coffee hasn't even been an afterthought!
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Old 02-23-2016, 08:45 PM
  # 287 (permalink)  
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Best wishes for your sis and mom, Odie.
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Old 02-23-2016, 09:45 PM
  # 288 (permalink)  
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Oh, thinking of you, Thump. You seem like a charming and considerate guy. Sorry you're not feeling the same vibes back from her. You are doing many great things to be a better person. If she doesn't see it, someone else will!! Chin up!
So sorry to hear about your sister and mother, Odelle. What a difficult time for your family. Glad they are seeing improvements. Your sister has been in hospital a while, right? Keep strong. You are doing so well. I'm joining you today on the no cigarettes. This is most definitely my biggest challenge.

Today is day 31! I wanted to avoid the curse of 30 days. I'm feeling good. Still very emotional and my brain function is not at it's highest. But living each day sober is wonderful. In my dream last night, I was offered a wine tasting but said I didn't drink and that was that! This time round I am certainly at a higher level of understanding than ever before.

Wishing you all a great day/night!
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Old 02-23-2016, 10:26 PM
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Best wishes for your sis and mom Odelle

congrats on you milestone SandyO
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Old 02-23-2016, 11:38 PM
  # 290 (permalink)  
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Originally Posted by SandyO View Post
Tonight has been the first night I REALLY wanted to drink. I've had a very emotional day. I have fertility issues. It's physical but of course alcohol doesn't help. I'm truly embarrassed to admit this. Totally insane - an alcoholic trying to have a baby.
Dear Sandy

Congratulations on day 31! What an inspiration!

Youre allowed to try and have a baby like anybody else. You wouldn't drink and harm your unborn baby - believe me. I was an alcoholic when I fell pregnant x 2, but I never drank. I was soon straight back into it after birth though :-( I couldn't breastfed so it wasn't an issue in that respect.

Don't think low of yourself because youre alcoholic. You appear like a very kind and caring person. Alcoholics can be beautiful people. The top 3 most nasty horrible people Ive met in my life were non drinkers, so there you go!

All the best
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Old 02-24-2016, 02:49 AM
  # 291 (permalink)  
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Hi everyone!

Yes it has been quiet here. I've been quiet and I'm not sure why. Winter is my rest time yet I still have a lot to do. I'm just burned out on the Internet a bit I think.

All good here. My cold got better for a few days then kinda bad again, now feeling pretty good. I think I just need to rest more for it to go away.

Odelle - I kept forgetting to ask about your sis. Wow, she's really battling this. And your mom. Well, let's send up some prayers. Is your sister out of ICU I guess? Your mom sounds strong too. Look at yourself! Quitting smoking, drinking and something else... Sugars? Maybe. Anyway, hope all goes well.

Thump - good luck with your relationship. It will work out the way it's supposed to. Just trust in that.

So, I'm checking in but just so laid back these days.

My husband never did drink yet. So proud of him too.

Take care all.

Olivia
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Old 02-24-2016, 03:31 AM
  # 292 (permalink)  
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Originally Posted by Thumpalumpacus View Post
Sometimes i wish I didn't have any feelings for her any more. We talk and it's very friendly but the more we talk the more I realize that I'm clinging to useless hopes. It's just so bloody hard to let go.
I think it's completely natural and trying to let it go will make it even harder (resistance never works with our feelings.) Please be patient with yourself and the situation, things like this take time.
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Old 02-24-2016, 03:47 AM
  # 293 (permalink)  
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Hi my friends- I've been quiet lately, not sure why. I try reading up as much as I can on my phone during the day but I feel I've missed a lot.

Bandi- That AV is so sneaky- I'm so proud of you for not giving in for using all your tools.

Caramel- Congrats on 30 days! You are really doing this

Lulu- CONGRATS on the job and the move! I am sure it will be stressful until you get settled but once you do everything will fall into place!

Delilah- I can't even imagine the pain you are going through with your father. Sending love and support your way friend, please know that we are all here for you if you need us.

Odelle- Thinking of you as well and hoping your Sister and Mom can return to health with ease. Glad to see you are still doing great with your resolutions on the coffee and the cigs. You amaze me!

Sandy- Congrats on 30 days!!! I'm sorry you are dealing with fertility issues- that must be very hard. And it is not insane to want babies- I have had 2 babies and stopped drinking with both although I will admit I had a glass of wine ready the day I brought #2 back from the hospital. I hope you can get some help for your fertility issues. Just be patient with yourself and your body as it is healing right now.

Olivia- I have been quiet as well. Something about this time of year makes me feel more introverted. Glad to hear you are doing well and feeling relaxed and that's so great about your husband.

Haris- I love your attitude- sounds like you are really learning from all of this and becoming enlightened in more ways than one. What a blessing!

I am sure I missed a lot of you but I want to write a post (below) before the baby wakes up.
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Old 02-24-2016, 03:58 AM
  # 294 (permalink)  
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Day 50 over here. I am SO glad I survived the other day (thanks again Odelle and Rally). I am still amazed at how quickly my AV had me convinced that I could have a few drinks with lunch, like I deserved it or something. DH ended up having 2 beers but stopped after that. He has been doing great and I am so lucky to have him as my support. I was so worried when I started this journey that he would continue getting wasted on the weekends (the typical routine) and I would have to deal with the emotions that would evoke in me (disgust for him, resentment.). It makes me feel bad because I also realize what a bad influence I was on him. He tends to follow my lead on so many things and I wonder how much of his drinking was due to MY drinking. Oh well, what's done is done.

I've been quiet but here is what I've been up to lately- I have been getting up early to go to the gym before DH leaves for work- I am only averaging several days a week but I absolutely LOVE getting that me time early on and I notice it helps with my morning mood.

I got a bike and a bike seat for the baby- I haven't been on a bike in 25 years! I can't believe it. And when they say you never forget how to ride a bike, they are right although I am still a little clumsy when it comes to taking corners and turning around (don't worry, I'm not going to fall or anything, just takes me a while to make a 360 degree turn!!). I look like an old person or a 5 year old learning how to ride, can't tell which one.

My parents came to visit last weekend- it was so nice seeing them as it had been over 4 months. They will be staying in their condo in another part of the state and we are going to go down there for the weekend. In fact, I have so many things planned for the next month (my MIL is coming, Sister is coming and my friend with her mother). I love having things to look foward to, it really keeps me sane.

I still have things I want to add into my life like meditation and art- not sure why I'm not committing just yet but I know it will happen.

I am so grateful to be sober. I was telling DH yesterday that as great as I feel I still can't believe I am never going to have another drink again. It's quite the concept- something I try not to think about, really.

Ok, off to enjoy this cup of coffee before the chaos begins in the house! Hugs to all of you who slipped up- please stay with us and let us know how you are doing.

Quote of the day:

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Old 02-24-2016, 06:52 AM
  # 295 (permalink)  
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Sandy, good luck on the smoking cessation, it is very hard but well worth the effort. Congratulations on passing the 30 day challenge!

Olivia, you sound great. I’m glad you are getting the rest you need and that you are feeling better. It’s wonderful that you are proud of your husband for his sobriety, but don’t forget to feel proud of yourself too! This isn’t a race, it’s a journey; one slip didn’t take you of course.

Congratulations on 50 days Sunflower! You are doing so well and you are living the life you were intended to live. Don’t trip up your AV by challenging it with never drinking again, just live in the moment and know that today, you choose not to drink!

Thank you everyone for the well wishes for my mom and sister, all prayers are welcome! Yes Sandy, my sister has been in the hospital for 2 weeks now, and she is still in ICU after Sunday’s surgery. I think, hope and pray that she is now on the mend. My mom is 79 and is in her 5th or 6th year of degenerative heart disease, so I am really concerned about her. She is a strong woman, so I hope to have her around for many years to come!

Well, mornings seem to go too fast, so I need to get up and moving. One month smoke free today, and two days shy of being 50 days sober. If I accomplish nothing else today, I have accomplished enough today!
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Old 02-24-2016, 07:05 AM
  # 296 (permalink)  
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Sandy, join us in the smoking cessation thread http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...t-10-a-20.html, yes friends, there is a thread for that! SR's new motto - we have a thread for that!
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Old 02-24-2016, 08:35 AM
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I wanted to share this link from Hip Sobriety. I get her updates in my Facebook feed and here is her list of helpful books for sobriety.

http://www.hipsobriety.com/home/2016...ntial-books-on
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Old 02-24-2016, 10:53 AM
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I get amazed at how incredible complicated we make this program sometimes. I've been bouncing back and forth between my therapist and my psychiatrist trying to manage my increasing anxiety and lack of motivation. I even called out sick today because I couldn't bring myself to get out of bed to go to work. So, I walk to a coffee shop up the street, crack open the big book and read:

"In thinking about our day we may face indecision. We may not be able to determine which course to take. Here we ask God for inspiration, an intuitive thought or a decision. We relax and take it easy. We don't struggle. We are often surprised how the right answers come after we have tried this for a while."

All I have been doing for weeks is struggling, struggling, struggling. Have I been making it to meetings? No. Have I been calling folks from the program? No. Have I been saying a simple prayer every morning to ask my HP to direct my thinking? Absolutely not. But, the answers are there all along. And all I have to do is crack open our basic text and read for thirty seconds.
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Old 02-24-2016, 11:42 AM
  # 299 (permalink)  
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Hi all, just a quick note as I'm in a big work project push. Things are going well with me; I passed the 40 day mark a couple of days ago. Just immersed in work craziness and will continue being swamped through March. My wife returns from her month with sis on Monday. i miss her and am glad she'll be back though it turned out to be a good period for me to focus on myself, sobriety, etc.
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Old 02-24-2016, 02:35 PM
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55 (? I think...) days now (and 2 days off the e-cigs) time has literally stopped still and I'm getting really angsty and irritable. And eating a lot more crap to compensate for no alcohol or (less) nicotine. Will push through.

Carry on...
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