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Class of November 2015 Part 9

Old 01-17-2016, 04:03 AM
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Thanks Tufty, those words mean a lot - you're a good man.

Just wish I could somehow put a stop to the racing thoughts and up and down moods, awake for a good while in the night and my mind just going on and on and on, no let up and no matter what I can't seem to shut it down, eventually got back off but woken up again feeling really low - motivation again today at absolutely zero, trying to gee myself up and the wife is too which I appreciate her efforts but at the same time I just want to be left alone for a bit - hate these really low feelings which I was hoping was down to the lifestyle and I suppose hopefully thought they'd be gone without the drink and drugs, daft thing is a few days ago they were altho when they are I feel like everything's too good and I need to slow it down, that's the thing the drink used to cover this up and I could escape from it - at the weekends if I woke in this mood I knew there was some relief with a good few beers throughout the day, altho hangovers were rarely an issue I guess I spent the early part of the week in a bit of a slumber getting myself going again being healthy thro the week (unless any midweek plans) and in the gym then there was another weekend coming up, I know that's not an option now of course - as much as anything being sober is not makin me feel any better right now but I know drinking is not the answer too, a case of riding it out and hoping things pick up again - soon.
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Old 01-17-2016, 07:10 AM
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you guys are the best

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Old 01-17-2016, 07:16 AM
  # 163 (permalink)  
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Hi RedAndy. My daughter shared something with me last week that she learned in one of her college courses on quieting a racing mind at night, something I am quite familiar with. It has to do with the brain’s ability to process only three tasks at a time, and any unorganized/uncategorized thoughts keep the brain racing trying to sort them. Try making a to-do list before bedtime, writing down the things you want to accomplish the next day and putting them in order. Keep a notepad and pen by your bed and if you awaken during the night with a thought, write it down.
I bought a small notepad and keep it by the bed, so far I haven’t put the advice into practice but it does make sense and is worth a shot.

I’ve kept up (mostly) with this class and must share with you all that the growth of each and every one of you is astronomical, and is documented here on SR! Congratulations to all!
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Old 01-17-2016, 07:56 AM
  # 164 (permalink)  
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Originally Posted by RedAndy View Post
Thanks Tufty, those words mean a lot - you're a good man.

Just wish I could somehow put a stop to the racing thoughts and up and down moods, awake for a good while in the night and my mind just going on and on and on, no let up and no matter what I can't seem to shut it down, eventually got back off but woken up again feeling really low - motivation again today at absolutely zero, trying to gee myself up and the wife is too which I appreciate her efforts but at the same time I just want to be left alone for a bit - hate these really low feelings which I was hoping was down to the lifestyle and I suppose hopefully thought they'd be gone without the drink and drugs, daft thing is a few days ago they were altho when they are I feel like everything's too good and I need to slow it down, that's the thing the drink used to cover this up and I could escape from it - at the weekends if I woke in this mood I knew there was some relief with a good few beers throughout the day, altho hangovers were rarely an issue I guess I spent the early part of the week in a bit of a slumber getting myself going again being healthy thro the week (unless any midweek plans) and in the gym then there was another weekend coming up, I know that's not an option now of course - as much as anything being sober is not makin me feel any better right now but I know drinking is not the answer too, a case of riding it out and hoping things pick up again - soon.
I've been feeling the same for the past few days. My racing thoughts come early in the morning when I wake up. Right now I'm struggling to get dressed and start my day. Too much anxiety. I tried 30 minutes of meditation but the racing thoughts barely stopped. AV is loud too. I would give anything to feel at peace right now...
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Old 01-17-2016, 08:14 AM
  # 165 (permalink)  
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Patricia - try naming your tension. Basically four categories. Fear, Resentment, Not being in the moment, or Something you can't control.
Sit or lie, scan your body to be loose ,centered and relaxed. As your mind races try to cut it off, name the tension and let it go. Or if you can't name it , just repeat Let It Go or Stay in the Moment type stuff.

Im new at this bit it sure is helping me LOTS

Olivia
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Old 01-17-2016, 09:26 AM
  # 166 (permalink)  
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Thanks all, appreciate the replies.

Will give that a try Odelle, thanks.

Patricia, I tried meditation classes a few weeks ago, first week I persevered but felt really strange but ended up having to get up and leave the second time as it really was making me worse - I came out and one of the counsellors told me I looked anything but relaxed, really agitated and anxious to be honest. It's like when I try to concentrate on anything I'm instructed to do I find it difficult to comprehend and control or practice properly / relax at all, I immediately tense up and get frustrated with what's happening why I can't get it ??

I managed to get myself moving a bit earlier - made some soup and then just sat and watched football again all afternoon - not very productive I know but not feeling as bad as I did early doors and in all honesty the AV does seem to have gone quieter as the day has gone on I've not actually been constantly thinking about the beer this afternoon which is a relief, considering this would normally be the time I'm sat having a few, going round to my mums a couple of doors down with some of the family soon for a roast dinner, not really in the mood but sitting on my own all day isn't the answer, will give it a go and try and lift myself. Hope your day gets better Patricia.
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Old 01-17-2016, 09:31 AM
  # 167 (permalink)  
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Originally Posted by Olivia2011 View Post
Patricia - try naming your tension. Basically four categories. Fear, Resentment, Not being in the moment, or Something you can't control.
Sit or lie, scan your body to be loose ,centered and relaxed. As your mind races try to cut it off, name the tension and let it go. Or if you can't name it , just repeat Let It Go or Stay in the Moment type stuff.

Im new at this bit it sure is helping me LOTS

Olivia
Thank you Olivia. I'll try it. I think it's a mix of all those feelings but mostly fear. Not trusting myself and not trusting life. Fear is paralyzing...
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Old 01-17-2016, 09:32 AM
  # 168 (permalink)  
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Day 17! Caught a break today...my husband and I were supposed to go to a local bar to watch the playoff football games. I was concerned about it, wasn't sure if I could be strong, but this morning my husband suggested we stay home so we wouldn't have to worry about deciding whether to drink/not drink. We are home simmering meatballs getting ready to watch the games in the comfort of our home with no alcohol! Yeah!!
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Old 01-17-2016, 09:35 AM
  # 169 (permalink)  
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Originally Posted by RedAndy View Post
Thanks all, appreciate the replies.

Will give that a try Odelle, thanks.

Patricia, I tried meditation classes a few weeks ago, first week I persevered but felt really strange but ended up having to get up and leave the second time as it really was making me worse - I came out and one of the counsellors told me I looked anything but relaxed, really agitated and anxious to be honest. It's like when I try to concentrate on anything I'm instructed to do I find it difficult to comprehend and control or practice properly / relax at all, I immediately tense up and get frustrated with what's happening why I can't get it ??

I managed to get myself moving a bit earlier - made some soup and then just sat and watched football again all afternoon - not very productive I know but not feeling as bad as I did early doors and in all honesty the AV does seem to have gone quieter as the day has gone on I've not actually been constantly thinking about the beer this afternoon which is a relief, considering this would normally be the time I'm sat having a few, going round to my mums a couple of doors down with some of the family soon for a roast dinner, not really in the mood but sitting on my own all day isn't the answer, will give it a go and try and lift myself. Hope your day gets better Patricia.
Thank you RedAndy. They say meditation takes practice. I am willing to keep practicing, but what I can't control is my body (racing heart, sweaty palms)...and then the thoughts follow...I feel like I am not going to be able to complete the simplest tasks like making coffee...
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Old 01-17-2016, 09:49 AM
  # 170 (permalink)  
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That's rough Patricia and I feel for you, anxiety / depression are awful and wish it was just as simple as pulling ourselves together - we're definitely not alone tho and glad we can share how we're feeling / find support here. Main thing is we stay sober and don't give into the AV.
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Old 01-17-2016, 11:17 AM
  # 171 (permalink)  
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I'm having panic attacks.
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Old 01-17-2016, 12:37 PM
  # 172 (permalink)  
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Originally Posted by patricia68 View Post
I'm having panic attacks.
Poor u, I used to suffer from debilitating ones... but I learnt to conquer them.... you can do it. Get help! X
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Old 01-17-2016, 01:06 PM
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Originally Posted by enfinthechange View Post
Poor u, I used to suffer from debilitating ones... but I learnt to conquer them.... you can do it. Get help! X
How do you deal with them?
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Old 01-17-2016, 02:55 PM
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Originally Posted by patricia68 View Post

How do you deal with them?
I did the relaxation thing everyone says... but that wasn't really it, it helped at 1st ... I just used iron will to beat it down like an enemy. .. drinking a.lot always makes them.come back.... sobriety keeps it away.. ... they do start when sober but I kind of beat it back.
Can't quite do it to the AV though. I reckon if I could redirect the amount of mental energy I spent stopping panicking attackes when drunk or hungover, I could work for the CIA hahahha... but seriously.. it is well better without drink.
Get help from counsellors attend relaxation groups and anything... it all adds into the toolkit of mental wellness.
I wish I could pp over and chat and help...
Xx
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Old 01-17-2016, 03:21 PM
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Hi Patricia,
I get panic attacks too where my heart starts pounding and I feel like freaking out. Sometimes what helps is putting on my comfiest pajamas and dabbing on a bit of lavender oil, and breathing deeply and acknowledging that this is a bad moment, but I will survive it, and it will pass. Also, watching some mindless or funny tv takes my mind of the attack.

On an unrelated note, I was at the store today and saw a normal looking woman buying normal things. Until I realized she was buying a half gallon of vodka which had some sort of lock on it that the cashier couldn't get off.

The woman looked embarrassed and all I could think was that is me. Or was me. And I felt sad for her and myself. But I am sober today and very glad I wasn't buying a half gallon of vodka today at 11 in the morning on a Sunday.

Thanks everyone. Sobriety is so much better than drunkenness. Even though I'm emotional today and the feelings are raw and my anxiety is bad, it would always be made worse by the poison we call alcohol.
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Old 01-17-2016, 06:02 PM
  # 176 (permalink)  
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It's been a while since I've posted so I thought I would get on here with some updates. Today is 8 full weeks sober. I don't think about drinking anymore but I do dream about it during my sleep. I'm getting used to doing everything sober which has its pros and cons. I used to have to spend my whole weekend buzzed, drunk, or hungover. Now I'm clear-headed, well-rested, and sometimes bored. I used to have a drink to deal with stress from the work week or boring people at social events...now I have to endure these times sober.

My relationships are generally much better, I'm far less irritable, and have newfound patience. I find joy in simple things like washing my car and eating ice cream. My running is coming along, my blood pressure is normal, and my pulse is nice and calm, most of the time.

I'm starting to recover from my past, slowly and surely. I stay close to my sobriety but don't obsess over it.

This is my recovery, so far.

Thanks for listening and for your support!
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Old 01-17-2016, 06:24 PM
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Checking in before I go to sleep. Day 17 down! I am feeling really good, physically, etc. I caught up on sleep this weekend, spent time w my hubby, watched football, did a puzzle, went to dinner at my parents, went to a movie. It was a good weekend. I did eat too much, but I didn't drink
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Old 01-17-2016, 07:27 PM
  # 178 (permalink)  
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Originally Posted by SoberMarathon View Post
It's been a while since I've posted so I thought I would get on here with some updates. Today is 8 full weeks sober. I don't think about drinking anymore but I do dream about it during my sleep. I'm getting used to doing everything sober which has its pros and cons. I used to have to spend my whole weekend buzzed, drunk, or hungover. Now I'm clear-headed, well-rested, and sometimes bored. I used to have a drink to deal with stress from the work week or boring people at social events...now I have to endure these times sober.

My relationships are generally much better, I'm far less irritable, and have newfound patience. I find joy in simple things like washing my car and eating ice cream. My running is coming along, my blood pressure is normal, and my pulse is nice and calm, most of the time.

I'm starting to recover from my past, slowly and surely. I stay close to my sobriety but don't obsess over it.

This is my recovery, so far.

Thanks for listening and for your support!
That's awesome SM, you are truly doing amazing! Congrats on 8 weeks!
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Old 01-17-2016, 08:40 PM
  # 179 (permalink)  
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Originally Posted by patricia68 View Post
I'm having panic attacks.
How are you feeling now patricia? Hope all is ok.
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Old 01-17-2016, 08:40 PM
  # 180 (permalink)  
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Originally Posted by SoberMarathon View Post
It's been a while since I've posted so I thought I would get on here with some updates. Today is 8 full weeks sober. I don't think about drinking anymore but I do dream about it during my sleep. I'm getting used to doing everything sober which has its pros and cons. I used to have to spend my whole weekend buzzed, drunk, or hungover. Now I'm clear-headed, well-rested, and sometimes bored. I used to have a drink to deal with stress from the work week or boring people at social events...now I have to endure these times sober.

My relationships are generally much better, I'm far less irritable, and have newfound patience. I find joy in simple things like washing my car and eating ice cream. My running is coming along, my blood pressure is normal, and my pulse is nice and calm, most of the time.

I'm starting to recover from my past, slowly and surely. I stay close to my sobriety but don't obsess over it.

This is my recovery, so far.

Thanks for listening and for your support!
Good stuff SM!
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