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Class of November 2015 Part 9

Old 01-19-2016, 02:02 PM
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[QUOTE=tufty13;5749120]

"The bottom line being the government want Mindfulness taught across the UK, in education, prisons, health service, civil service etc etc. the point being that it's now widely recognised as such an effective treatment for anxiety and depression."

My young son attends Mindfulness Workshops here in France. I had to drag him kicking and screaming to the first one but now he loves them. The positive change in his concentration both at school and in his sporting activities is amazing . If I get cross with the children at the end of a long day he says "Mum, you need to concentrate on your breathing" and makes me smile everytime!

What's the latest on the Sydney job? Are you feeling any better?

x
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Old 01-19-2016, 02:06 PM
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Originally Posted by enfinthechange View Post
Aw, thanks... am at home marking exam papers and eating terry chocolate orange.... the sun is streaming in the widow and it's quiet... that'll have to do! OH is at meeting till 6 so I have to get kids and do tea.... but I like it when it's just us... if they don't drive me insane!!!!
Back to marking..... urghhhh. ..
A Terry's! I love them. Chocolate for the soul. Can't buy them here.

Do you do the "tap it, unwrap it and leave the middle for last" thing? (I have been known to eat a whole one in one evening)! Hope you are feeling a bit better today.
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Old 01-19-2016, 02:44 PM
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Originally Posted by enfinthechange View Post
It's ok it's ok, I got it.... just relax and centre. .. I'll be OK. Going to do something else now. X
Hope you're ok Enfin, stay strong - good idea to keep yourself occupied but when feeling overwhelmed it does prove difficult / without respite and like you say with no release, it's been a big thing that's getting to me and that feeling of being trapped / isolated, agreed talking definitely does help and that's what I know I need to do more and more - had 2 appointments today one with addictions counsellor thro psychiatrist I saw last week and another for couples counselling relating to drink and drugs rehab I'm under, the latter giving the wife a greater understanding of the situation too and helping her also. It's definitely giving me more focus on structure to my plan.

Been suggested that I also attend CA as well as AA and attend a min of 3 per week, also a second suggestion of inpatient treatment which I'm not sure about, will push on with the meetings and keep myself busy with that.
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Old 01-19-2016, 03:00 PM
  # 244 (permalink)  
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You can always talk and release some pressure here enfin

D
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Old 01-19-2016, 04:29 PM
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I hope your feeling better enfin. You can always talk to us
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Old 01-19-2016, 06:33 PM
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Originally Posted by enfinthechange View Post
Hey everyone... I am.on day 19, technically Jan class... but they got their own thing going and I feel I fit in here, so left my slippers under this table! No one has.kicked me out yet!!! Feeling very blue at them mo... just letting me feel it and trying g not to over analyse, or react... just be a bit down. Work helps as u have to be chirpy... my OH was difficult this morning , My immediate reaction is very extreme, it's all wrong, I can't stay like this... I need love and affection. ... etc etc.... not sure why I so overreact. It will all be normal again when I get home..... but sometimes especially t's tough. I wont drink over it. .. I still can't believe ultradad ran 50 miles... I'd be knackered driving that!!! Love you u all xxx
And we ain't GONNA kick you out! Leave your slippers here permanently! :-)
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Old 01-19-2016, 06:37 PM
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Originally Posted by patricia68 View Post
Good morning. Trying to be patient and stop beating myself up for my relapse. Trying to be patient and accept that I can't bounce back and feel like I did before my relapse. It's going to take time. Trying to accept that this awful anxiety is part of the detox. I'm not in danger. Panic is part of withdrawal. Trying to forgive myself... I need to be more patient...
And you haven't failed if your still trying! Be good to yourself! You are a special person worthy of happiness! :-)
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Old 01-19-2016, 06:38 PM
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Originally Posted by enfinthechange View Post
Tried everything... chocolate, eating, talking... I just feel aaarrrggghhhh. ... trapped... I want to run away. Why do I always want things I can't have.... calm calm .. .. I had to cancel my counselling app tomorrow and I was looking forward to the talking about stuff ... really needed it. But now i have to wait a week, keep pretending it's all OK. .. no pressure release to make it OK again. I suddenly want to cry.... oh dear.... I though i only felt like this when terribly hungover and freaked out... I don't want to feel unraveling when sober. Otherwise what's the point? ??
You ok enfin?
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Old 01-19-2016, 06:40 PM
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Originally Posted by Jemma44 View Post
Hi Enfin, I feel the same. Things are a mess on the Homefront. OH keeps sending mean texts and when I respond, calmly and politely, he texts back "don't talk to me." Ugh. He's allowed to harass me via text but now I can't respond?? I guess he's coming here to get the baby and go back to his moms where he's been staying. She's out of town. Wish me luck on this exchange. Deep breaths. I know he will instigate me, but I have to keep my tongue in check so I don't say something I'll regret. What do I do? I truly can't stand him right now
Hang in there girl!!! You ok???
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Old 01-19-2016, 07:05 PM
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Bathtime. Hot baths have soothed me since I was a kid. I guess it was my coping mechanism pre-alcohol. offered up as a suggest for those who need nerves settled.

My plate is so full with work and school and it's only going to get harder as I advance in the degree. Sigh. I just ate way too much food in retaliation to the scale not moving for an entire month despite heavy exercise. Insanity right?
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Old 01-19-2016, 08:32 PM
  # 251 (permalink)  
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Originally Posted by bblackbirdflyy View Post
Bathtime. Hot baths have soothed me since I was a kid. I guess it was my coping mechanism pre-alcohol. offered up as a suggest for those who need nerves settled. My plate is so full with work and school and it's only going to get harder as I advance in the degree. Sigh. I just ate way too much food in retaliation to the scale not moving for an entire month despite heavy exercise. Insanity right?
Awesome!!! A nice warm bath! I'm getting ready to go to bed & lay under my nice warm heating blanket. :-)

I totally relate to not losing weight! After 2+ months I FINALLY lost 5 measly pounds! I think my metabolism is still messed up. Alcohol slows it down! It just needs to re-set....I hope! ;-)
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Old 01-19-2016, 10:56 PM
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Morning. Had a nice hot bath , some tea and went to bed.. OH was quite rude accidentally when I was truing to be nice, so that pissed me off further.. but new day, same old rush and routine. Just better get on with it! Will try and cheer up promise! X
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Old 01-20-2016, 06:43 AM
  # 253 (permalink)  
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I woke up at 5am. Bad dreams, not about drinking but very vivid and scary. My heart was racing. Tried some breathing exercises and went back to sleep for a bit, more vivid dreams and anxiety.

I finally got up and had a cigarette. The anxiety and waves of panic are still here two hours later. I am grumpy. When is this going to end?
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Old 01-20-2016, 06:47 AM
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Here you go Tufty! Ice cold Ginger Ale and a nice Cuban after running 52 miles! LOVE the sober life!

Bear bait post race.jpg
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Old 01-20-2016, 07:41 AM
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Thanks everyone. Here's to another day sober! Wow Ultra dad I still can't believe you ran 52 miles. I'm proud if I walk/run 2 miles. Haha

Kiki and BBF maybe you have gained some muscle? It weighs more than fat. Are your clothes fitting better? That tells more than a scale

Patricia, I'm sorry to hear the anxiety is still rearing its ugly head. No fun at all, and bad dreams certainly don't help. My anxiety has been pretty bad too. Work is slow so I've been getting called off, which makes me nervous financially and plus I have nothing to do but think, think, think. And you know what they say...idle hands are the devils workshop. Hopefully our moods will stabilize the longer we are sober...
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Old 01-20-2016, 08:30 AM
  # 256 (permalink)  
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Originally Posted by Jemma44 View Post

Patricia, I'm sorry to hear the anxiety is still rearing its ugly head. No fun at all, and bad dreams certainly don't help. My anxiety has been pretty bad too. Work is slow so I've been getting called off, which makes me nervous financially and plus I have nothing to do but think, think, think. And you know what they say...idle hands are the devils workshop. Hopefully our moods will stabilize the longer we are sober...
I hope so Jemma. I know what you mean...fighting the anxiety drains all my energy.
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Old 01-20-2016, 09:08 AM
  # 257 (permalink)  
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Originally Posted by patricia68 View Post
I woke up at 5am. Bad dreams, not about drinking but very vivid and scary. My heart was racing. Tried some breathing exercises and went back to sleep for a bit, more vivid dreams and anxiety. I finally got up and had a cigarette. The anxiety and waves of panic are still here two hours later. I am grumpy. When is this going to end?
For me, the excruciatingly painful panic & anxiety (the kind that takes your breath away) ended at about 3 weeks sober. I quit alcohol AND nicotine at the same time on 11/15/15 because cigarettes caused cravings for alcohol for some reason. Nicotine is also known to increase anxiety levels. Many people think that nicotine helps anxiety when it actually increases it. I also avoided all caffeine. Including chocolate. Caffeine absolutely increases anxiety.

I remember having days that I would literally just lay in bed in a fetal position clinging onto a pillow and praying during those 3 weeks. It was awful! I took ALOT of long walks, posted & read here on SR a TON & prayed & prayed!!! I also talked to my sponsor daily & journaled. Oh! And lots & lots of sleep! I basically put my life on hold except the bare minimum during those first few weeks & 100% focused on not drinking! If that's ALL I did throughout the day that was a huge accomplishment!

So just hang on!!! It gets so much better! My anxiety is nearly nonexistent after 2 months and five days of sobriety. I promise it gets better! I just had to NOT drink no matter what! I had to put the plug in the jug permanently!

I think about you and praying for you daily Patricia! Sending huge hugs and prayers.
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Old 01-20-2016, 09:09 AM
  # 258 (permalink)  
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Originally Posted by ultradad View Post
Here you go Tufty! Ice cold Ginger Ale and a nice Cuban after running 52 miles! LOVE the sober life!
That's amazing! You ran 52 miles straight? Did you stop for lunch? Ha!
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Old 01-20-2016, 09:13 AM
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Today is day 20! Feeling good about not drinking. Still struggling with my husband and his moodiness. I am frustrated about my weight. I want to lose weight. The last few days have been crazy eating days. Over the weekend I allowed myself some extra treats. I hope things straighten out. I find myself eating even when I am not hungry..boredom, stress, you name it, it's causing me to eat. I wonder if I have transferred from drinking to eating, feel like I'm playing whack a mole.
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Old 01-20-2016, 09:58 AM
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Originally Posted by KiKi0615 View Post
For me, the excruciatingly painful panic & anxiety (the kind that takes your breath away) ended at about 3 weeks sober. I quit alcohol AND nicotine at the same time on 11/15/15 because cigarettes caused cravings for alcohol for some reason. Nicotine is also known to increase anxiety levels. Many people think that nicotine helps anxiety when it actually increases it. I also avoided all caffeine. Including chocolate. Caffeine absolutely increases anxiety.

I remember having days that I would literally just lay in bed in a fetal position clinging onto a pillow and praying during those 3 weeks. It was awful! I took ALOT of long walks, posted & read here on SR a TON & prayed & prayed!!! I also talked to my sponsor daily & journaled. Oh! And lots & lots of sleep! I basically put my life on hold except the bare minimum during those first few weeks & 100% focused on not drinking! If that's ALL I did throughout the day that was a huge accomplishment!

So just hang on!!! It gets so much better! My anxiety is nearly nonexistent after 2 months and five days of sobriety. I promise it gets better! I just had to NOT drink no matter what! I had to put the plug in the jug permanently!

I think about you and praying for you daily Patricia! Sending huge hugs and prayers.
Today is excruciatingly painful Kiki. My emotions are out of control. I went to my father in law's secret stash. I had a sip and dumped the rest out. I just feel like I want to scream and run away.

I am seeing my counselor in 2 hours. I need to be strong and make this dumb AV quiet until I see my counselor. I can't cancel, I need her.

Kiki I miss those days when I was feeling calm. I really miss being sober. This struggle...just sucks!
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