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Class of November 2015 Part 9

Old 01-18-2016, 08:43 PM
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Originally Posted by Fabat50 View Post
Snow. You are in a safe place. I think I can relate a bit to how you must be feeling. I had 2 stints in the psych hospital, one for a couple of days and one for a month. I messed up with my bipolar meds and drink and lost the plot for a while. I don't know what it's like where you are, or how long you may be there, but try and get some rest, go easy on yourself and use the time to get your head back together. Will be thinking of you. On another issue... question for the group. Some of you may have noticed that my spectacular 70 day run turned back into another day 1 this Sunday. I am more than disgusted but have another thread going on that subject. Do/Can I stay part of this group given that my determination is still strong? Or should I join the Jan class? Hope you are all well. Snow will be thinking of you
Nope!!! You are not leaving us! We need you! I need you!!! You are part of why I'm still sober. Your support is amazing!

We are a family and we don't leave our wounded behind! We pick them up, wipe their tears & support them until they are back on their feet!

Xo
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Old 01-18-2016, 08:46 PM
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Originally Posted by Jemma44 View Post
Venting...I have a beautiful hand-painted framed large Serenity Prayer, given to me by my former BF's mom after he passed away 6 years ago, of addiction. My new OH has never let me hang it. It's been sitting in a closet. I used to love waking up in my bedroom and seeing it to start my day, when I was single (and sober). I think OH is threatened by the love I had for my deceased BF. And maybe embarrassed by the Serenity Prayer hanging on the wall (represents recovery?? Didn't know that was a bad thing??) After recent events, fighting, breaking up, back and forth, I hung it on the wall today. OH is angry. It looks beautiful. It happens to match the walls perfectly, like it was meant for this room in this house that I bought in June. Counseling with OH on Friday, but I have little faith.
That's ridiculous! I'm glad you hung the painting & I love the Serenity Prayer!!! I'm glad you did what is best for you! :-)
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Old 01-18-2016, 08:49 PM
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Originally Posted by rah555 View Post
Day 18!! I'm starting to think my husband may resent the fact that I am not drinking. He's been in a foul mood lately, feeling sorry for himself complaining about how unimportant he feels and the fact that I don't want to go out at night so he has to go by himself. I am completely happy staying home, safe, sound and sober! Seems odd that his mood coincides with me not drinking. In previous cycles I would give in and go out to make him feel better, but I am not doing that this time. I do not want to fall back into the cycle. I am trying so hard!!
You are doing GREAT Rah!!! Stick to your plan! It's working!!! :-)
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Old 01-18-2016, 08:51 PM
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Originally Posted by patricia68 View Post
I slipped too Fabat. I'd like to stay in this class. The support here is amazing
You BETTER stay in this class Patricia!!! I will find you and haunt you if you don't! Haha just kidding.

But seriously...we (I) need you in this class. Xo
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Old 01-18-2016, 10:37 PM
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Originally Posted by Jemma44 View Post
Stay here. I am. I suppose we could join January too, wouldn't hurt right?
I just hope that I don't end up joining every monthly class of the year!! (I won't)
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Old 01-18-2016, 10:57 PM
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Originally Posted by rah555 View Post
Day 18!! I'm starting to think my husband may resent the fact that I am not drinking. He's been in a foul mood lately, feeling sorry for himself complaining about how unimportant he feels and the fact that I don't want to go out at night so he has to go by himself. I am completely happy staying home, safe, sound and sober! Seems odd that his mood coincides with me not drinking. In previous cycles I would give in and go out to make him feel better, but I am not doing that this time. I do not want to fall back into the cycle. I am trying so hard!!
Well done Rah, sounds like a bit of resentment at the change and loss of his drinking partner but you're doing this for you first and foremost - good on you for standing firm tho and hope he comes round soon. It's not easy to deal with partners mood swings as well as ours but glad you're staying strong.
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Old 01-18-2016, 11:10 PM
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Originally Posted by KiKi0615 View Post
Nope!!! You are not leaving us! We need you! I need you!!! You are part of why I'm still sober. Your support is amazing!

We are a family and we don't leave our wounded behind! We pick them up, wipe their tears & support them until they are back on their feet!

Xo
^^this - love that second paragraph Kiki, agree that all need to stay put in the class there's a definite bond here that helps so much - the support and understanding we've developed is something that helps me massively, together we can all succeed and make this work.
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Old 01-19-2016, 02:09 AM
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Yep, that's a lovely sentiment Kiki. Thank you!

I'm sending you some November Class love Snowvelvet, I hope you're back on your feet soon.

Well done Rah, stay strong and do what you have to do. Perhaps your OH is feeling a bit insecure with the new Rah, maybe give him a hug and tell him you love him?

Sorry you tripped up Fab, it's a journey though so these things happen. You're still here though rather than ducking out, that has to be a positive thing.

Good luck with the counselling Jemma, keep the faith. As long as you're both open I'm sure it will be of help. I've heard people rave about counselling.

Sober Marathon, congratulations on your new sober life. How fantastic.

Ultra, you came second? What's wrong with you? You need to shape up old chap. You know I'm kidding really? That's a remarkable achievement.

I hope the anxiety is easing Andy & Patricia. I went to a meeting about mindfulness yesterday. It wasn't about the theory of it, more about discussing a UK government All Party Parliamentary Report called Mindful Nation UK. The bottom line being the government want Mindfulness taught across the UK, in education, prisons, health service, civil service etc etc. the point being that it's now widely recognised as such an effective treatment for anxiety and depression. Better and cheaper than drugs. There's plenty of free online support and information. If you haven't tried it, give it some thought?

BB and Enfin and all my classmates, I hope you're thriving and thank you for being here!
Everything does seem easier for me when I feel part of a collective, that's part of what makes us human.

I'm all over the place this morning. Four months ago I was asked if I'd go and run a failing business (part of the company I work for) in Sydney for a couple of years. Everything I've been doing for a good while now, both emotionally and practically, has been leading up to my departure from the UK next month. As of 11.30pm last night it looks like that's all fallen through.

I'm trying to stay in my body and understand how I feel about it. A tad confused at the moment. Scared I think. It felt like I had a bit of direction whilst that particular offer was on the cards. All I know is I have an all consuming need/desire to make a radical change to my life. I just have no idea what that will be.

I met a life coach at my Quaker meeting on Sunday, a very interesting woman who's had several books published on all sorts of topics. I've invited her over tonight to break some bread with me (well, a Keralan veggie curry actually) so I'm going to pick her brains for a couple of hours. I WANT ANSWERS!!!!

Have a fantastic day everyone. Much love to all of you.
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Old 01-19-2016, 04:05 AM
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Hey everyone... I am.on day 19, technically Jan class... but they got their own thing going and I feel I fit in here, so left my slippers under this table! No one has.kicked me out yet!!!

Feeling very blue at them mo... just letting me feel it and trying g not to over analyse, or react... just be a bit down. Work helps as u have to be chirpy... my OH was difficult this morning , My immediate reaction is very extreme, it's all wrong, I can't stay like this... I need love and affection. ... etc etc.... not sure why I so overreact. It will all be normal again when I get home..... but sometimes especially t's tough. I wont drink over it. ..

I still can't believe ultradad ran 50 miles... I'd be knackered driving that!!!

Love you u all xxx
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Old 01-19-2016, 04:51 AM
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Originally Posted by enfinthechange View Post
Hey everyone... I am.on day 19, technically Jan class... but they got their own thing going and I feel I fit in here, so left my slippers under this table! No one has.kicked me out yet!!!

Feeling very blue at them mo... just letting me feel it and trying g not to over analyse, or react... just be a bit down. Work helps as u have to be chirpy... my OH was difficult this morning , My immediate reaction is very extreme, it's all wrong, I can't stay like this... I need love and affection. ... etc etc.... not sure why I so overreact. It will all be normal again when I get home..... but sometimes especially t's tough. I wont drink over it. ..

I still can't believe ultradad ran 50 miles... I'd be knackered driving that!!!

Love you u all xxx
Give yourself a bit of love and affection Enfin if OH is being off. Stop off on the way home from work, buy yourself a small bouquet of flowers, a magazine, a cream cake, a DVD whatever ..and then go home and run yourself a bubble bath. Let OH take care of the dinner.
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Old 01-19-2016, 06:21 AM
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Originally Posted by Fabat50 View Post
Give yourself a bit of love and affection Enfin if OH is being off. Stop off on the way home from work, buy yourself a small bouquet of flowers, a magazine, a cream cake, a DVD whatever ..and then go home and run yourself a bubble bath. Let OH take care of the dinner.
Aw, thanks... am at home marking exam papers and eating terry chocolate orange.... the sun is streaming in the widow and it's quiet... that'll have to do! OH is at meeting till 6 so I have to get kids and do tea.... but I like it when it's just us... if they don't drive me insane!!!!
Back to marking..... urghhhh. ..
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Old 01-19-2016, 06:34 AM
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Originally Posted by tufty13 View Post
Yep, that's a lovely sentiment Kiki. Thank you!

I'm sending you some November Class love Snowvelvet, I hope you're back on your feet soon.

Well done Rah, stay strong and do what you have to do. Perhaps your OH is feeling a bit insecure with the new Rah, maybe give him a hug and tell him you love him?

Sorry you tripped up Fab, it's a journey though so these things happen. You're still here though rather than ducking out, that has to be a positive thing.

Good luck with the counselling Jemma, keep the faith. As long as you're both open I'm sure it will be of help. I've heard people rave about counselling.

Sober Marathon, congratulations on your new sober life. How fantastic.

Ultra, you came second? What's wrong with you? You need to shape up old chap. You know I'm kidding really? That's a remarkable achievement.

I hope the anxiety is easing Andy & Patricia. I went to a meeting about mindfulness yesterday. It wasn't about the theory of it, more about discussing a UK government All Party Parliamentary Report called Mindful Nation UK. The bottom line being the government want Mindfulness taught across the UK, in education, prisons, health service, civil service etc etc. the point being that it's now widely recognised as such an effective treatment for anxiety and depression. Better and cheaper than drugs. There's plenty of free online support and information. If you haven't tried it, give it some thought?

BB and Enfin and all my classmates, I hope you're thriving and thank you for being here!
Everything does seem easier for me when I feel part of a collective, that's part of what makes us human.

I'm all over the place this morning. Four months ago I was asked if I'd go and run a failing business (part of the company I work for) in Sydney for a couple of years. Everything I've been doing for a good while now, both emotionally and practically, has been leading up to my departure from the UK next month. As of 11.30pm last night it looks like that's all fallen through.

I'm trying to stay in my body and understand how I feel about it. A tad confused at the moment. Scared I think. It felt like I had a bit of direction whilst that particular offer was on the cards. All I know is I have an all consuming need/desire to make a radical change to my life. I just have no idea what that will be.

I met a life coach at my Quaker meeting on Sunday, a very interesting woman who's had several books published on all sorts of topics. I've invited her over tonight to break some bread with me (well, a Keralan veggie curry actually) so I'm going to pick her brains for a couple of hours. I WANT ANSWERS!!!!

Have a fantastic day everyone. Much love to all of you.
Thanks Tufty! I'm going to look into this mindfulness' and please share what you learn. Wishing you all the best on the life changes that are coming your way. Looks like you have a handle on the emotions and are growing expediently! All the best, buddy!
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Old 01-19-2016, 08:45 AM
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Cheers Tufty, will take a look into that also.

Sorry to hear that the plans you've been working towards have been scuppered, must be difficult to get your head around, remember tho mate you have already made a massive change and the most important one with sobriety, enjoy picking the life coaches brains and the veggie curry.
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Old 01-19-2016, 08:49 AM
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Originally Posted by enfinthechange View Post
Hey everyone... I am.on day 19, technically Jan class... but they got their own thing going and I feel I fit in here, so left my slippers under this table! No one has.kicked me out yet!!!

Feeling very blue at them mo... just letting me feel it and trying g not to over analyse, or react... just be a bit down. Work helps as u have to be chirpy... my OH was difficult this morning , My immediate reaction is very extreme, it's all wrong, I can't stay like this... I need love and affection. ... etc etc.... not sure why I so overreact. It will all be normal again when I get home..... but sometimes especially t's tough. I wont drink over it. ..

I still can't believe ultradad ran 50 miles... I'd be knackered driving that!!!

Love you u all xxx
Know exactly where you are coming from there Enfin.

Made me smile with that last comment
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Old 01-19-2016, 09:47 AM
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Good morning.
Trying to be patient and stop beating myself up for my relapse.
Trying to be patient and accept that I can't bounce back and feel like I did before my relapse. It's going to take time.
Trying to accept that this awful anxiety is part of the detox. I'm not in danger. Panic is part of withdrawal.
Trying to forgive myself...
I need to be more patient...
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Old 01-19-2016, 11:35 AM
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Originally Posted by patricia68 View Post
Good morning.
Trying to be patient and stop beating myself up for my relapse.
Trying to be patient and accept that I can't bounce back and feel like I did before my relapse. It's going to take time.
Trying to accept that this awful anxiety is part of the detox. I'm not in danger. Panic is part of withdrawal.
Trying to forgive myself...
I need to be more patient...
Aw, I agree with you, be kind to yourself. .. huggggggggggggg.....

Eat nice chocolate instead... and tea... lots of good tea! I will send some if u need! !!
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Old 01-19-2016, 12:45 PM
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Tried everything... chocolate, eating, talking... I just feel aaarrrggghhhh. ... trapped... I want to run away. Why do I always want things I can't have.... calm calm
..
.. I had to cancel my counselling app tomorrow and I was looking forward to the talking about stuff ... really needed it. But now i have to wait a week, keep pretending it's all OK. .. no pressure release to make it OK again. I suddenly want to cry.... oh dear.... I though i only felt like this when terribly hungover and freaked out... I don't want to feel unraveling when sober. Otherwise what's the point? ??
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Old 01-19-2016, 12:53 PM
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Originally Posted by enfinthechange View Post
Tried everything... chocolate, eating, talking... I just feel aaarrrggghhhh. ... trapped... I want to run away. Why do I always want things I can't have.... calm calm
..
.. I had to cancel my counselling app tomorrow and I was looking forward to the talking about stuff ... really needed it. But now i have to wait a week, keep pretending it's all OK. .. no pressure release to make it OK again. I suddenly want to cry.... oh dear.... I though i only felt like this when terribly hungover and freaked out... I don't want to feel unraveling when sober. Otherwise what's the point? ??
It's ok it's ok, I got it.... just relax and centre. .. I'll be OK. Going to do something else now. X
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Old 01-19-2016, 01:04 PM
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Originally Posted by enfinthechange View Post

It's ok it's ok, I got it.... just relax and centre. .. I'll be OK. Going to do something else now. X
Breathe, everything's going to be okay!
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Old 01-19-2016, 01:45 PM
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Hi Enfin, I feel the same. Things are a mess on the Homefront. OH keeps sending mean texts and when I respond, calmly and politely, he texts back "don't talk to me." Ugh. He's allowed to harass me via text but now I can't respond?? I guess he's coming here to get the baby and go back to his moms where he's been staying. She's out of town. Wish me luck on this exchange. Deep breaths. I know he will instigate me, but I have to keep my tongue in check so I don't say something I'll regret. What do I do? I truly can't stand him right now
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