Class of November 2015 Part 9
Member
Join Date: Jan 2013
Location: UK
Posts: 123
Hi all. Thanks for the wishes. Have my phone for a bit.
Long story short. I didn't notice my mood decline before it got too late. Felt suicidal and stupidly, stupidly, I wanted anything to take the thoughts away as I felt I was going crazy.
I drove drunk, crashed my car, spent a night in the cell. Am currently bailed. Have had to have the crisis team out every day and was admitted last night.
Sober and sane me would never do anything like that. My head went mad. It was nothing I've ever experienced that sort of low.
I am safe, no one was injured. And I'm in the best place for me. Hugs. Kxx
Long story short. I didn't notice my mood decline before it got too late. Felt suicidal and stupidly, stupidly, I wanted anything to take the thoughts away as I felt I was going crazy.
I drove drunk, crashed my car, spent a night in the cell. Am currently bailed. Have had to have the crisis team out every day and was admitted last night.
Sober and sane me would never do anything like that. My head went mad. It was nothing I've ever experienced that sort of low.
I am safe, no one was injured. And I'm in the best place for me. Hugs. Kxx
Member
Join Date: Mar 2014
Location: deepest england
Posts: 1,119
Originally Posted by snowvelvet 
Hi all. Thanks for the wishes. Have my phone for a bit.
Long story short. I didn't notice my mood decline before it got too late. Felt suicidal and stupidly, stupidly, I wanted anything to take the thoughts away as I felt I was going crazy.
I drove drunk, crashed my car, spent a night in the cell. Am currently bailed. Have had to have the crisis team out every day and was admitted last night.
Sober and sane me would never do anything like that. My head went mad. It was nothing I've ever experienced that sort of low.
I am safe, no one was injured. And I'm in the best place for me. Hugs. Kxx
Long story short. I didn't notice my mood decline before it got too late. Felt suicidal and stupidly, stupidly, I wanted anything to take the thoughts away as I felt I was going crazy.
I drove drunk, crashed my car, spent a night in the cell. Am currently bailed. Have had to have the crisis team out every day and was admitted last night.
Sober and sane me would never do anything like that. My head went mad. It was nothing I've ever experienced that sort of low.
I am safe, no one was injured. And I'm in the best place for me. Hugs. Kxx
Member
Join Date: Oct 2015
Posts: 748
Snow. You are in a safe place. I think I can relate a bit to how you must be feeling. I had 2 stints in the psych hospital, one for a couple of days and one for a month. I messed up with my bipolar meds and drink and lost the plot for a while.
I don't know what it's like where you are, or how long you may be there, but try and get some rest, go easy on yourself and use the time to get your head back together.
Will be thinking of you.
On another issue... question for the group. Some of you may have noticed that my spectacular 70 day run turned back into another day 1 this Sunday. I am more than disgusted but have another thread going on that subject.
Do/Can I stay part of this group given that my determination is still strong? Or should I join the Jan class?
Hope you are all well. Snow will be thinking of you
I don't know what it's like where you are, or how long you may be there, but try and get some rest, go easy on yourself and use the time to get your head back together.
Will be thinking of you.
On another issue... question for the group. Some of you may have noticed that my spectacular 70 day run turned back into another day 1 this Sunday. I am more than disgusted but have another thread going on that subject.
Do/Can I stay part of this group given that my determination is still strong? Or should I join the Jan class?
Hope you are all well. Snow will be thinking of you
Guest
Join Date: Jan 2015
Posts: 397
Venting...I have a beautiful hand-painted framed large Serenity Prayer, given to me by my former BF's mom after he passed away 6 years ago, of addiction. My new OH has never let me hang it. It's been sitting in a closet. I used to love waking up in my bedroom and seeing it to start my day, when I was single (and sober).
I think OH is threatened by the love I had for my deceased BF. And maybe embarrassed by the Serenity Prayer hanging on the wall (represents recovery?? Didn't know that was a bad thing??)
After recent events, fighting, breaking up, back and forth, I hung it on the wall today. OH is angry.
It looks beautiful. It happens to match the walls perfectly, like it was meant for this room in this house that I bought in June.
Counseling with OH on Friday, but I have little faith.
I think OH is threatened by the love I had for my deceased BF. And maybe embarrassed by the Serenity Prayer hanging on the wall (represents recovery?? Didn't know that was a bad thing??)
After recent events, fighting, breaking up, back and forth, I hung it on the wall today. OH is angry.
It looks beautiful. It happens to match the walls perfectly, like it was meant for this room in this house that I bought in June.
Counseling with OH on Friday, but I have little faith.
Member
Join Date: Dec 2012
Location: USA
Posts: 678
Originally Posted by KiKi0615
WOW! Look what mysteriously popped up on my iphone calendar today! So strange because I could have sworn I deleted it a while ago! I wrote the list below on October 22, 2015 (25 days before my last drink) & set it to repeat daily in my calendar as a reminder of why I didn't want to drink anymore. I was drinking when I made this list & deleted it a few days later when I was drunk again. I remember saying to myself "F it! I'm never gonna be able to stop drinking so I may as well delete this stupid list"! How & WHY did it pop back up out of no where on my calendar today??? So weird! But I'm sorta glad b/c it's a great reminder of why I don't wanna drink again! ------------------------------------------------- dde13 What alcohol is stealing from me (10/22/15) 1. My happiness 2. My self-esteem 3. My relationship with my kids 4. My relationship with My husband 5. My money! Lots of debt! 6. My health 7. My sanity 8. My body...I'm gaining weight! 9. My friends & family 10. My energy 11. My "freedom" 12. My joy 13. My future 14. My time (so many wasted days) 15. My hopes & dreams 16. My reputation 17. My liver, lungs, brain, throat & bodily health etc... 18. My job 19. My desire to live-I have suicidal thoughts :-( 20. My clean record-I have a DUI 21. My fitness 22. My hobbies 23. My mobility-lots of drunken injuries 24. My mental health (MAJOR depression & anxiety ) 25. My hope 26. My honesty 27. My relationship with God 28. My ability to have energy & feel well. 29. My nutrition 30. My memory 31. My youthful look (getting a few wrinkles) 32. My ability to be a good mom 33. My ability to keep promises (promised kids & husband I would stop) 34. My ability to love myself (I HATE myself right now)! I can't even look in the mirror! :-( 35. My life -it's stealing it piece by piece
Keep up being great!!
Member
Join Date: Jun 2011
Location: Midwest, USA
Posts: 1,551
Originally Posted by ultradad
Ended up 2nd place, SM! Had first locked up till mile 40, but hit major wall and was struggling to run, legs were trashed! Pushed through, but lost 1st place by 12 minutes, still grateful to be out there running and for second place! Enjoyed a nice ginger ale at the finish with my wife ; )
Member
Join Date: Jun 2011
Location: Midwest, USA
Posts: 1,551
Originally Posted by snowvelvet
Hi all. Thanks for the wishes. Have my phone for a bit.
Long story short. I didn't notice my mood decline before it got too late. Felt suicidal and stupidly, stupidly, I wanted anything to take the thoughts away as I felt I was going crazy.
I drove drunk, crashed my car, spent a night in the cell. Am currently bailed. Have had to have the crisis team out every day and was admitted last night.
Sober and sane me would never do anything like that. My head went mad. It was nothing I've ever experienced that sort of low.
I am safe, no one was injured. And I'm in the best place for me. Hugs. Kxx
Long story short. I didn't notice my mood decline before it got too late. Felt suicidal and stupidly, stupidly, I wanted anything to take the thoughts away as I felt I was going crazy.
I drove drunk, crashed my car, spent a night in the cell. Am currently bailed. Have had to have the crisis team out every day and was admitted last night.
Sober and sane me would never do anything like that. My head went mad. It was nothing I've ever experienced that sort of low.
I am safe, no one was injured. And I'm in the best place for me. Hugs. Kxx
Member
Join Date: Jun 2011
Location: Midwest, USA
Posts: 1,551
Originally Posted by Fabat50
Snow. You are in a safe place. I think I can relate a bit to how you must be feeling. I had 2 stints in the psych hospital, one for a couple of days and one for a month. I messed up with my bipolar meds and drink and lost the plot for a while.
I don't know what it's like where you are, or how long you may be there, but try and get some rest, go easy on yourself and use the time to get your head back together.
Will be thinking of you.
On another issue... question for the group. Some of you may have noticed that my spectacular 70 day run turned back into another day 1 this Sunday. I am more than disgusted but have another thread going on that subject.
Do/Can I stay part of this group given that my determination is still strong? Or should I join the Jan class?
Hope you are all well. Snow will be thinking of you
I don't know what it's like where you are, or how long you may be there, but try and get some rest, go easy on yourself and use the time to get your head back together.
Will be thinking of you.
On another issue... question for the group. Some of you may have noticed that my spectacular 70 day run turned back into another day 1 this Sunday. I am more than disgusted but have another thread going on that subject.
Do/Can I stay part of this group given that my determination is still strong? Or should I join the Jan class?
Hope you are all well. Snow will be thinking of you
if you wish.Please stay
Member
Join Date: Jun 2011
Location: Midwest, USA
Posts: 1,551
Originally Posted by Jemma44
Venting...I have a beautiful hand-painted framed large Serenity Prayer, given to me by my former BF's mom after he passed away 6 years ago, of addiction. My new OH has never let me hang it. It's been sitting in a closet. I used to love waking up in my bedroom and seeing it to start my day, when I was single (and sober).
I think OH is threatened by the love I had for my deceased BF. And maybe embarrassed by the Serenity Prayer hanging on the wall (represents recovery?? Didn't know that was a bad thing??)
After recent events, fighting, breaking up, back and forth, I hung it on the wall today. OH is angry.
It looks beautiful. It happens to match the walls perfectly, like it was meant for this room in this house that I bought in June.
Counseling with OH on Friday, but I have little faith.
I think OH is threatened by the love I had for my deceased BF. And maybe embarrassed by the Serenity Prayer hanging on the wall (represents recovery?? Didn't know that was a bad thing??)
After recent events, fighting, breaking up, back and forth, I hung it on the wall today. OH is angry.
It looks beautiful. It happens to match the walls perfectly, like it was meant for this room in this house that I bought in June.
Counseling with OH on Friday, but I have little faith.
Member
Join Date: Aug 2014
Posts: 625
Day 18!! I'm starting to think my husband may resent the fact that I am not drinking. He's been in a foul mood lately, feeling sorry for himself complaining about how unimportant he feels and the fact that I don't want to go out at night so he has to go by himself. I am completely happy staying home, safe, sound and sober! Seems odd that his mood coincides with me not drinking. In previous cycles I would give in and go out to make him feel better, but I am not doing that this time. I do not want to fall back into the cycle. I am trying so hard!!
Member
Join Date: Jun 2014
Location: Augusta, GA
Posts: 888
Sorry Fabat and Snowvelvet, this disease won't stop till we're dead! We have to fight with every ounce of energy we have for our survival! Praying for you all and hoping we can find that serenity that only comes from sobriety!
AA, SR and talking to counselors have all helped me in the past, but in the end I think it all booked down to the fact that I just never, ever wanted to drink alcohol again! Once I lost focus if that the AV just came in like an old friend. I now have that same desire for sobriety and have learned some valuable lessons. We have to build our lives around our sobriety, it HAS to come first, if not, we lose everything good and decent in our lives! I pray that something rises up in all of us that sparks that desire for freedom!
We're back home, got in a bit ago after a six hour drive. My right leg is swollen, probably going to lose a toenail and I have one pretty snarly blister! Otherwise, I'm sober and in my own bed and so grateful for this weekend! I needed to get past this weekend sober and to show myself that I could still enjoy my passion of running while in sobriety! Feels incredible and so blessed!
Don't drink, its worth it!
AA, SR and talking to counselors have all helped me in the past, but in the end I think it all booked down to the fact that I just never, ever wanted to drink alcohol again! Once I lost focus if that the AV just came in like an old friend. I now have that same desire for sobriety and have learned some valuable lessons. We have to build our lives around our sobriety, it HAS to come first, if not, we lose everything good and decent in our lives! I pray that something rises up in all of us that sparks that desire for freedom!
We're back home, got in a bit ago after a six hour drive. My right leg is swollen, probably going to lose a toenail and I have one pretty snarly blister! Otherwise, I'm sober and in my own bed and so grateful for this weekend! I needed to get past this weekend sober and to show myself that I could still enjoy my passion of running while in sobriety! Feels incredible and so blessed!
Don't drink, its worth it!
Administrator
Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,347
Originally Posted by Jemma44
Stay here. I am. I suppose we could join January too, wouldn't hurt right?
The original intent of monthly groups was to have people more or less at the same point in recovery getting and receiving support from and to each other, and I always recommend people at least check out the current group as well.
Recommend, not insist
D
Administrator
Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,347
Originally Posted by rah555
Day 18!! I'm starting to think my husband may resent the fact that I am not drinking. He's been in a foul mood lately, feeling sorry for himself complaining about how unimportant he feels and the fact that I don't want to go out at night so he has to go by himself. I am completely happy staying home, safe, sound and sober! Seems odd that his mood coincides with me not drinking. In previous cycles I would give in and go out to make him feel better, but I am not doing that this time. I do not want to fall back into the cycle. I am trying so hard!!
I'm sure he loves you and wants the best for you - give him time to come around and stop sulking
D
Administrator
Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,347
Originally Posted by Jemma44
Venting...I have a beautiful hand-painted framed large Serenity Prayer, given to me by my former BF's mom after he passed away 6 years ago, of addiction. My new OH has never let me hang it. It's been sitting in a closet. I used to love waking up in my bedroom and seeing it to start my day, when I was single (and sober).
I think OH is threatened by the love I had for my deceased BF. And maybe embarrassed by the Serenity Prayer hanging on the wall (represents recovery?? Didn't know that was a bad thing??)
After recent events, fighting, breaking up, back and forth, I hung it on the wall today. OH is angry.
It looks beautiful. It happens to match the walls perfectly, like it was meant for this room in this house that I bought in June.
Counseling with OH on Friday, but I have little faith.
I think OH is threatened by the love I had for my deceased BF. And maybe embarrassed by the Serenity Prayer hanging on the wall (represents recovery?? Didn't know that was a bad thing??)
After recent events, fighting, breaking up, back and forth, I hung it on the wall today. OH is angry.
It looks beautiful. It happens to match the walls perfectly, like it was meant for this room in this house that I bought in June.
Counseling with OH on Friday, but I have little faith.
D
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