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Class of November 2015 Part 9

Old 01-11-2016, 11:16 PM
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Class of November 2015 Part 9

last part here:
http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...rt-8-a-20.html

D
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Old 01-12-2016, 12:16 AM
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I'm first! !!! Not that I'm childish.... or competitive... or full of energy for 8.10am coz I'm not hungover!!!! Yeeeeha! !!!!
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Old 01-12-2016, 12:24 AM
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It's so freeing to say "I'm never drinking again."

I'm never going to binge alone on the couch when no one else is home. Never going to fail at hiding the empties. Im never going to have another hangover. im never going to drink myself into such a deep depression that i think i should end it all. I'm never going to be drunk in front of my kids again, I'll always be there for them. Never going to put an artificial buzz above all else.
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Old 01-12-2016, 12:26 AM
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Originally Posted by enfinthechange View Post
I'm first! !!! Not that I'm childish.... or competitive... or full of energy for 8.10am coz I'm not hungover!!!! Yeeeeha! !!!!
Bah, I almost beat you Enfin! Until I decided to get all feely! Original post was to say "shotgun!" Lol.
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Old 01-12-2016, 01:37 AM
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Originally Posted by bblackbirdflyy View Post

Bah, I almost beat you Enfin! Until I decided to get all feely! Original post was to say "shotgun!" Lol.
Yours was a more meaningful post than mine!! I am just a bit bouncy this morning heheheheh. ... this kind of excitement usually lead to drinking mayhem, but now I'll just have to see how it feels!!! Have a nice day xx
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Old 01-12-2016, 02:44 AM
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Thought I'd C&P Kiki's post over here just in case it's missed by anyone, serves as a massive reality check for us all and anyone even considering, like me, romanticising past drinking / drugging habits in any way shape or form that could lead me to make a bad decision somewhere down the road, that really has hit home just what a terrible disease alcoholism is, one word that resonates so much in my mind all the time that I picked up immediately from my first days on this site 2 months ago is "progressive" and know that looking at how I've progressed through the years there is a long and lonely path if I allow any thoughts of the "good times" ever being allowed back in.

I don't know if its naivety / immaturity or just down right stupidity but for some reason I have never really associated such awful illnesses and death through the drinking habits I've had - when I first met with my counsellor 7 weeks ago today she gave me some home truths about the amounts I was consuming and in no uncertain terms that it had to stop - it hit hard and I was in a bad place at the time one thing she said that got me sat taking note was that did I want my daughter to see me on a slab with a tag on my toe, of course I don't and that's a huge reason I've been able to stand so determined that I am not going to do that to her and my wife. One part of the documentary shows a young girl similar age to mine sobbing her heart out at the side of a coffin with "DAD" at the foot of it - utterly distraught, so sad to see and to think he had successfully managed 8 years sober.

So much throughout that was extremely hard to watch and so sad but so very necessary to understand where it truly can lead if even given a glimmer of hope of being allowed back in.

AV is not just quiet I think he's packed / upped sticks and moved out - PERMANANTLY !!!

Hi guys,

I just read through all the posts I missed while running errands & making dinner. A couple things stood out to me (red flags):

1. Drinking will NEVER be fun again! Each time we drink it gets harder & harder to quit & causes more damage to our brains & organs. If your AV tells you "HEY! You have X days of sobriety...you're not really THAT bad! You could have 1-2 drinks!".....it's complete BS!!!

I truly believe the AV is the devil! It whispers to us to drink the poison! It laughs when we do. It makes us feel so bad about ourselves & causes so much destruction in our lives that we either want to drink ourselves to death or kill ourselves because we are so miserable!

Here's a little story: A friend of mine died of alcoholism a few years ago. She had it all! 2 gorgeous kids, a successful husband, a huge house, fancy car, a genius IQ, she was beautiful, sweet, funny....by all outside appearances she had it all!

She would quit drinking and relapse after a few months. She repeated the cycle over & over & over until her husband divorced her & she ended up homeless & living in hotel rooms. Her disease progressed to a point that she could NOT stop!

I texted her one day to see how she was and this is the reply I got: "I am praying that God lets me die. I don't understand why he won't let me die!"

It was the saddest thing I have ever seen in my life! She literally locked herself up in a cheap hotel room and drank herself to death! When they found her, she was unconscious with massive organ failure! She died at a very young age!

Seeing her young kids at the hospital & the pain in their eyes was so tragic! There is an "invisible line" that alcoholics can cross. My sponsor calls it the "point of no return." It's that last time we drink and aren't able to ever put any sobriety together again. It's the beginning of the end. It's dark, it's painful, it's hell!

THATS the reality for us if we drink! It will NOT be fun & we will NEVER be able to drink normally again!

2. As alcoholics, we must never get too Hungry, Angry, Lonely or Tired! Eat 3 healthy meals per day plus healthy snacks. Drink lots of water and never get too thirsty! If you are tired, sleep. If you are lonely...call someone, go to a meeting etc. If you are angry...go exercise, punch a pillow, talk about it with someone you trust, pray, meditate. I add Stressed to the end so my trigger word is:
HALTS (Hungry, Angry, Lonely, Tired, Stressed)

Anyway...I hear ALOT of BS being whispered in people's ears on here today! Don't listen to your AV! It wants to kill you! I've seen it first hand & it is a NASTY way to die!!!

Watch the video below for a reality check!!!

3/4 of these people are dead now:
http://youtu.be/lwv7Utcf-gM

I love you guys & I Hate this disease! It wants to kill us!!! It's just a slow suicide.

Don't drink. Choose life. I'm yelling at some of your AVs!
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Old 01-12-2016, 05:11 AM
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Great post, KiKi! Thank you for sharing!

Feeling really settled thus morning and focused on sobriety. It's like something finally clicked and I just know that with a bit of diligent attention that I'll never have to drink again! Stayed up late watch Alabama win the National Championship #rolltide enjoying my second cup of coffee and feeling so grateful to be alive and sober!

I'll add this to what's already been stated and that is, it seems anxiety and stress are big issues with our group right now and I totally get it, that's the very thing that kept me going back to the bottle! However, each time I relapsed I had to start all over recovering from the depression and fear that follows. I have 12 days today and the anxiety has all but left me, it takes sobriety to ever get to that point.. We owe it to ourselves to let our mind, body and spirit heal. Alcohol will never let that happen! Don't drink
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Old 01-12-2016, 06:11 AM
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Morning everyone! Thanks for re-posting my post from last night Andy! That documentary is POWERFUL, isn't it? Graphic but it's reality! Thankfully...none of us ever have to get to that point! You're doing great Andy!

Everyone else is doing great too! We are the November WARRIORS!!!

I'll check back in later....have a great morning! :-)
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Old 01-12-2016, 06:19 AM
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Extremely powerful Kiki - thanks for posting.
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Old 01-12-2016, 08:12 AM
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As she sneaks in through the back door and takes a seat in the back of the class….yep, you guessed right, delinquent again. Absent for the past month but peeking through the window; congratulations to November’s honor students, you guys and gals are progressing beautifully! Beginning day 5 for me, so I will move over to the January class, but I wanted to check in and let you know how proud I am of all of you. If your AV tempts you back, use all of the tools you have gathered thus far and resist it; it is so hard getting back up after a fall!
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Old 01-12-2016, 08:17 AM
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Good luck Odelle, it maybe difficult to get back up but you are doing exactly that - keep going yeah - you can beat this.
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Old 01-12-2016, 08:21 AM
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Originally Posted by Odelle View Post
As she sneaks in through the back door and takes a seat in the back of the class….yep, you guessed right, delinquent again. Absent for the past month but peeking through the window; congratulations to November’s honor students, you guys and gals are progressing beautifully! Beginning day 5 for me, so I will move over to the January class, but I wanted to check in and let you know how proud I am of all of you. If your AV tempts you back, use all of the tools you have gathered thus far and resist it; it is so hard getting back up after a fall!
Yeah, but you got back up..
That's the main thing. .. well done. And keep at it!
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Old 01-12-2016, 09:13 AM
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Originally Posted by Odelle View Post
As she sneaks in through the back door and takes a seat in the back of the class….yep, you guessed right, delinquent again. Absent for the past month but peeking through the window; congratulations to November’s honor students, you guys and gals are progressing beautifully! Beginning day 5 for me, so I will move over to the January class, but I wanted to check in and let you know how proud I am of all of you. If your AV tempts you back, use all of the tools you have gathered thus far and resist it; it is so hard getting back up after a fall!
Awwww.....THERE you are! We missed you! Not everyone in the November class has a November sobriety date. Feel free to stay with us in this class! (((Odelle)))
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Old 01-12-2016, 09:33 AM
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Thanks Kiki! I am changing things up a bit this time around, being very diligent about diet and taking supplements. Honestly, I'm feeling really good physically and mentally this round. Tip – no sugar binges! I am limiting sugar to what is naturally found in fruit and honey, no more processed crap. The difference is amazing. It makes me wonder if the sugar overloads (up and down) can trigger the alcohol cravings.
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Old 01-12-2016, 10:40 AM
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Originally Posted by Odelle View Post
Thanks Kiki! I am changing things up a bit this time around, being very diligent about diet and taking supplements. Honestly, I'm feeling really good physically and mentally this round. Tip – no sugar binges! I am limiting sugar to what is naturally found in fruit and honey, no more processed crap. The difference is amazing. It makes me wonder if the sugar overloads (up and down) can trigger the alcohol cravings.
I reckon u probably right...I just can't control it, so much chocolate in the house from Xmas , gifts and such. ... I can get to mid afternoon and then bam... SUGAR.... arghhhhhhhhhh. ... it's better than booze I guess! I had a few drinks at Xmas so blew the November date too.. day 12 in a row for me... but 41/46 sounds better! Well done on controlling that beast too !!!!
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Old 01-12-2016, 11:44 AM
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Day 69.

I've been trying to post and it keeps timing out on my phone.

I don't want to drink. I just feel so bloody low. I have very little money. I've had to move into my parents. I am afraid to find a job again, as I cannot deal with the rejection. I used to have a fab career. I screwed it all up.

I don't want to fight anymore. I cannot live with what I've done. I just want out. I'm sick of going to bed each day and hoping it will get better. It doesn't. At least it doesn't get worse.
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Old 01-12-2016, 12:25 PM
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Originally Posted by snowvelvet View Post
Day 69.

I've been trying to post and it keeps timing out on my phone.

I don't want to drink. I just feel so bloody low. I have very little money. I've had to move into my parents. I am afraid to find a job again, as I cannot deal with the rejection. I used to have a fab career. I screwed it all up.

I don't want to fight anymore. I cannot live with what I've done. I just want out. I'm sick of going to bed each day and hoping it will get better. It doesn't. At least it doesn't get worse.
It will get better, all those things you lost are just things! A WAY better life awaits you! Isolation is the worst, try and find some sober friends...AA meetings or something, has really helped me by sharing with others who have same struggles!

Praying for you!
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Old 01-12-2016, 12:31 PM
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Rah, you're not alone! I felt really on edge too on Day 11. I remember feeling like I just wanted to snap at everybody. It will pass!

I was cleaning out and reorganizing my art room and I found a stash of empty bottles. I had to warn my boyfriend that he would see them in the recycling but that they were old, so no worries! He told me that he would have assumed they were old, because I truly seem like a changed person. I was so happy to hear that, because I remember when I first became sober, I had let him down so many times in the past that he didn't believe I could change. So grateful that I don't have to worry about how many bottles are in the recycling or where to hide them anymore!
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Old 01-12-2016, 12:33 PM
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Snowvelvet, sorry to hear that you're struggling. I think ultradad is right about finding people who share the same struggles. It really helps! Just keep taking baby steps and you will get there.
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Old 01-12-2016, 01:53 PM
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Ugh just wrote a long post but lost it. Still reading you guys every day. Struggling. Went to work finally today after many days off (only one day was me calling in related to drinking). But it felt good to be back at my job.

Not working is depressing.

Still trying. Life's been pretty depressing lately. And alcohol has made it worse. So proud of you all and let me tell you, the AV is full of lies. Learn from my mistake.
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