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Old 01-11-2016, 03:24 AM
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What I find is I will turn to food until that no longer works and then I will switch back to alcohol.
Knowing your patterns means you can make different decisions and stop those well worn behavioural paths Charliesworld.

There must be other, healthier, ways to deal with the situation?

D
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Old 01-11-2016, 03:40 AM
  # 442 (permalink)  
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You are right Dee. I'm feeling very weighed down today - like I'm teetering on a tightrope and one false move and everything will come crashing down. I won't drink - that's not on the cards but I wish there was an easy way out.
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Old 01-11-2016, 03:53 AM
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Originally Posted by Glb82 View Post
Starting day six here. How is everyone? It's Monday morning where I am, and crying has progressed to irritated beyond belief. I've also woken up with three coldsores (I'm not sure what you call them,in the US... Fever blisters?) which hurt like hell. Probably a symptom of dealing with my stress and emotions instead of drinking through them.
Oh man that sucks. I get them too. My dr prescribed valcyclovir - as soon as I feel the tingle I take 1-2 and the thing never comes to a full cold sore. You should ask your dr about it - I carry them with me at all times! Weather changes and stress are major triggers for my cold sores.
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Old 01-11-2016, 04:00 AM
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Originally Posted by Glb82 View Post
Starting day six here.

How is everyone? It's Monday morning where I am, and crying has progressed to irritated beyond belief.

I've also woken up with three coldsores (I'm not sure what you call them,in the US... Fever blisters?) which hurt like hell.

Probably a symptom of dealing with my stress and emotions instead of drinking through them.

Day 6 for me as well.
I'm sorry you aren't feeling so well, allow yourself to feel the emotions and then try to release them. I find if I fight the feelings, the resistance only makes it worse...
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Old 01-11-2016, 04:04 AM
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Day 2 - so this week I will be focusing on how to not get stuck in a thought; meaning that if I feel the AV has convinced me to drink that I have the power to change my mind back. I know I can get through the week but once Friday hits, I'm scared the AV will rear its ugly head only to convince me it'll be ok.
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Old 01-11-2016, 04:06 AM
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Day 6 over here and feeling good so far. We've had company so it's hard to guage where I am emotionally since the routine is so different. But I have been happy and relaxed so far, and the cravings yesterday were not as bad as I thought they would be. My patience with the kids has definitely improved and my only complaint is the strange dreams that seem to involve a lot of fighting (and drinking the other night).

We went out to eat yesterday and it was the first time I didn't have a drink with lunch. In the past that 1 drink would have turned to 2 and then I would have continued drinking when we got home. I had a diet coke and was amazed at myself and also at the fact that I wasn't eager to eat all the food on the table (I tend to overeat when I drink). It was a nice change.

Today is DH's bday. I told him yesterday that he should just go out to lunch with his Dad so they can enjoy some conversation and drinks without our kids (they are little so eating out can be very challenging). I hope he takes me up on that offer. Sad to think of how important alcohol can be in a person's life. I am hoping this year, as I turn 40, I will be excited to celebrate my first birthday without any booze. I look forward to that day and to being able to talk about it here.

Happy Monday everyone.
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Old 01-11-2016, 04:36 AM
  # 447 (permalink)  
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Originally Posted by Jillian2563 View Post

Oh man that sucks. I get them too. My dr prescribed valcyclovir - as soon as I feel the tingle I take 1-2 and the thing never comes to a full cold sore. You should ask your dr about it - I carry them with me at all times! Weather changes and stress are major triggers for my cold sores.
I wish I could but they don't prescribe them in this country! I take L-lysine every day, and in my state I skipped a few days.
I'm now waiting to see how bad it's going to be... Need to up my vitamin intake!
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Old 01-11-2016, 05:14 AM
  # 448 (permalink)  
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Good morning. Ugh. Day 1. I start detox today.

Good news -- this is my last hangover.
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Old 01-11-2016, 05:21 AM
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Originally Posted by JL2014 View Post
Everyone sitting around father inlaws deathbed. He started what I think is the death rattle yesterday afternoon. . I'm at home with youngest son. Torture is just torture. I hate for people to suffer.
My plan for not drinking- prayer, learn to play the tape, like y'all are saying ( not sure exactly whT that is),
"Play the tape through" is basically remembering how it ends. We tend to think only of the initial ease and comfort when first taking that drink. We conveniently forget being ill, full of shame for the foolish things we do and say, etc.

I am so sorry to hear about your FiL. Trust that they are keeping him comfortable. Remember, if someone else's suffering was good reason to drink, no one would ever get sober. Hang in there, and stay close to SR.
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Old 01-11-2016, 05:39 AM
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Originally Posted by Thumpalumpacus View Post
Thanks for the warm welcome, y'all.

But it put into stark relief something I've known intellectually, but never really observed in action before: the rationalization of the alcoholic brain, pointing to whatever external condition, good or bad, as a rationale to drink. This clearly implies that external events are perhaps irrelevant to sobriety in the end, and that inner conditions matter most of all.
You nailed it, I think. External events will always be there, always.
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Old 01-11-2016, 05:45 AM
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SiS, good luck today! I know you've been planning this for quite a while. You can do it!

Day 11. Monday. Bring it!
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Old 01-11-2016, 05:46 AM
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day 8, at my desk, looking at overdue bills, anxiety but a little better, just want to lie down and pull the blanket up to my eyes and hide from the world. just going to try to be productive, try to accomplish some tasks.
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Old 01-11-2016, 06:10 AM
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Morning all! As usual, reading about all your struggles really helps me with mine. Part of it is knowing that I am not alone in having a crazy brain that will use any old excuse to poison me. I see myself in all your words. We all deserve better!

Day 3 here. Yesterday, the store manager waved at me in meaningful fashion. I thought he was signaling that he got my letter. The letter bounced, so he probably just heard I was leaving. Or maybe he was just saying hi, LOL. My mind has a gift for seeing things that are not there.

Today that old AA adage is with me, "99% of the things I run from are not chasing me." Facing fears is empowering. I am trying to talk myself into seeing a doctor about my throat. I have a narrowed space, and it is really easy to choke on food. As a result, I do not eat well and am losing weight. I live on smoothies pretty much, and I do not have to tell ya'll what being hungry does for cravings! Of course, I am worried it is the big C.

Right now, just getting ready to get ready to go to the new job.

Hope everyone has a good, clean, sober day! Don't give in to AV, no matter what!
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Old 01-11-2016, 06:57 AM
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Just got ready for work and noticed that I look "fresher" than I have in weeks! Incentive for me to remain dedicated to my recovery.

Here's to a "fresher" Day 3 😊
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Old 01-11-2016, 07:05 AM
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Originally Posted by SillyHuman View Post

Today that old AA adage is with me, "99% of the things I run from are not chasing me." Facing fears is empowering. I am trying to talk myself into seeing a doctor about my throat. I have a narrowed space, and it is really easy to choke on food. As a result, I do not eat well and am losing weight. I live on smoothies pretty much, and I do not have to tell ya'll what being hungry does for cravings! Of course, I am worried it is the big C.
Silly, thank you for the quote. That is so true!

I remember the anxiety I experienced when I was diagnosed with cancer and will keep you in my thoughts, hoping for a clean bill of health!
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Old 01-11-2016, 07:12 AM
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Ugh. Here comes the irritability. Day 6 and I thought I was fine this morning but once everyone got up the noise started and my toddler is being extremely clingy. I don't want to be touched and that is not an option. He wants to nurse and be held constantly.

In the past it was around day 5 and 6 where I start feeling this way, like I am crawling out of my skin.
Need to stay strong. Praying the cravings don't come out during lunch.
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Old 01-11-2016, 07:19 AM
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Originally Posted by strugglingJim View Post
day 8, at my desk, looking at overdue bills, anxiety but a little better, just want to lie down and pull the blanket up to my eyes and hide from the world. just going to try to be productive, try to accomplish some tasks.
Hey, I know how you feel. But it will get better with time. My finances were getting a little better when I was sober for the latter half of the summer - my relapse not only affected my health, but my bills too. Now it's time to get back on track.

Day 8 is great. Keep going, we're all in this together.

I do believe that we all have the power to change. I'm realizing that if I schedule my time productively to do the things I want to do, then there will be no time for alcohol. I'm incorporating little daily routine changes so that when the AV comes to talking, I can send it a walking! Like others, I put off the things that are important to me because I feel the need to drink. This time, I am going to put off drinking so that I can do the things I want!

On a random topic, we are planning a snowboarding trip for middle of February. Last year my kids made a comment that I never wanted to do things because of my drinking. We went last year, but I didn't partake in the activities because I was so focused on drinking.
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Old 01-11-2016, 07:46 AM
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Day 4 here. I had one more drinking episode since I last posted 5 days ago.

I've been looking online at the affects of drinking on health, it's eye-opening. My health needs improvement. I've let drinking take over and I've pretty much let myself go. It's really motivated me to quit. I'm going to go check out Allen Carr's book at the library.

Putting my all into it this time. Need to do this. Good job everyone!
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Old 01-11-2016, 07:51 AM
  # 459 (permalink)  
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Mmmm, coffee.

Originally Posted by Optimist4ever57 View Post
Really excited to begin Day 3! Today will be a very long, stressful day but I am determined to make my way through it.

Work beckons...hope everyone has a wonderful day!
Today will be a great day, brotha. We all woke up on the right side of the ground.

Originally Posted by JL2014 View Post
Everyone sitting around father inlaws deathbed. He started what I think is the death rattle yesterday afternoon. . I'm at home with youngest son. Torture is just torture. I hate for people to suffer.
My plan for not drinking- prayer, learn to play the tape, like y'all are saying ( not sure exactly whT that is), and eat regularly. Gotta make this work.
Sober .
My sympathies to you. Stay strong and keep your eye on the ball.
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Old 01-11-2016, 08:15 AM
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Originally Posted by Optimist4ever57 View Post
Just got ready for work and noticed that I look "fresher" than I have in weeks! Incentive for me to remain dedicated to my recovery.

Here's to a "fresher" Day 3 😊
Oh My GOSH.. Me too! I am bouncy and alert and my eyes aren't red and I can think.

Feels so good. Lets keep this up. You_Rock_
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