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Class of November 2015 Part 5

Old 12-04-2015, 12:37 PM
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Originally Posted by Odelle View Post
I went out earlier to pick up some Christmas decorations and then stopped at the grocery store on my way home. Bam, out of nowhere came the biggest craving ever. I battled it for a while and then conceded to buying a bottle of wine, no one home you know…. The internal battle continued, “I can’t fail another class; no one will know; you will know; once in a while is okay; no, it isn’t; you’ll have a headache tomorrow and will be so disappointed with yourself; yadda, yadda, yadda." I finally checked out sans the wine and rushed to my car.

The incident triggered a tension headache and now my temples are throbbing! Dang, that was really close. I’m home, back in sweats and I am not leaving this house.
Phew! Close call, congrats on not caving!
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Old 12-04-2015, 12:38 PM
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Originally Posted by patricia68 View Post
Thank you Avra. I keep thinking that this has to get better once the withdrawals are over. It's the only hope that I have that keeps me going. It's really difficult today, I can barely function. Thank you so much for your support.
Thinking of you, wishing you a less anxious rest of your day.
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Old 12-04-2015, 01:19 PM
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Odelle

You did really well. Very cool.
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Old 12-04-2015, 01:39 PM
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Thank you for your support Healthygoals and Canguy, it really shook me to the core due to the intensity, and it just appeared with no obvious trigger. Beware the insidious AV, it lays in wait and strikes when its host is most vulnerable!
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Old 12-04-2015, 01:45 PM
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The old AV sure is convincing. Way to go Odelle for thinking better of it, well done!

Day 10 here and so far so good (fingers crossed).

Keep on keeping on everybody!
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Old 12-04-2015, 01:49 PM
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You're getting stronger and stronger Odelle. Keep doing what you're doing
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Old 12-04-2015, 01:52 PM
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Well done for battling the craving, pretty cool!
I went to aldi and had to close my eyes to walk through he booze bit.... but I got all my fave foods a small snacks and am.nkw eating profiteroles on the sofa.... have barely eaten all week so this is good○●•

I am having very weird feelings about the guys I snogged last week, like totally obsessed with him. I wonder if my AV has substituted him for booze... I haven't wanted a drink, but have even considered messaging the guy. .. my husband isn't here, kids asleep. .. jeez, you'd think one bloody calamity was enough and one addiction! I wish I could take my brain out and bloody well wash it, iron it, and put it back clean!.

Oh well, more tea and cakes... have a good weekend x
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Old 12-04-2015, 01:52 PM
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Thank you Chicklett and Patricia68. I am exhausted now, I'm going to try to take a nap, even though I'm not much of a day time sleeper. Group hug guys, we are going to make this happen!
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Old 12-04-2015, 02:00 PM
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Don't message him Enfin, it will only open a whole new can of worms! I'm beginning to think that the AV has demonic origins, why else would it try to convince us to do things that will only hurt us? The battle of good and evil since the beginning of mankind, only each of us has our own burden to carry.

You are doing great Enfin, you'll get through this and come out a better person in the end.
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Old 12-04-2015, 02:07 PM
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Friday's are usually my night to get dolled up and go into the city for dinner and drinks. It's probably my only social time. I know this is possible sober but I don't think in strong enough yet. My will is weakening and I'm sad that I can't see a life passed my old drinking lifestyle . Staying in the house tonight... Bored and bothered but I'm fighting thru it
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Old 12-04-2015, 02:11 PM
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Hey F&F, yep, bored and bothered here too, but it sure feels a lot better in the morning doesn't it? This too shall pass and soon you'll be getting dolled up and going to dinner again, only you'll remember everything and regret nothing!
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Old 12-04-2015, 02:24 PM
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Hey everyone.
Odelle & Enfin, you must be relieved at winning that battle at the grocery store.
I bet it was super sudden- I could see myself doing the same thing.
Enfin- Don't message him if you want things to get better with your husband.
Chicklet & Swimkim- Good job on day 10!! double digits!
Patricia, I don't know what its like with the withdrawals but I hope you feel better soon sounds miserable.
FaithfulandFree- I know, I do mourn my friday night drinks when the time rolls around. Instead, tonight i will make a yummy healthy dinner, then later on i will watch a movie on netflix, then read my new book "Drinking: A Love Story" and then go to bed early so that tomorrow I can wake up pleased with myself that I'm not hungover! WIN.
Whats everyone else doing tonight?
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Old 12-04-2015, 02:26 PM
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Odelle, thanks. Anything outside of what I'm used to is super uncomfortable and my anxiety is thru the roof. I'm ruminating. I'm fixated on how lonely I will be with no social life... I get the concept of a peaceful night at home but it doesn't seem easy right now. I'm just faithful at this point. I know what I want and I don't feel like my mind has caught up yet. So it's like I'm forcing sobriety with faith that eventually my mind will catch up and it will all come together and make sense. I know that I don't want "the morning after" so I won't engage in the nightly activities. Simple math at this point.
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Old 12-04-2015, 02:32 PM
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going to make dinner soon, then coffee and stick around here for the evening...anything to stave off those pesky cravings. I'm definitely NOT going to drink!

We're in this together and we WILL do this!!

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Old 12-04-2015, 02:51 PM
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This is ridiculous. ...

So, I haven't had a craving or a trigger in two weeks. Today I saw my ex at the mall with what I would guess is her boyfriend. It has been a year or so since I have even spoken or seen her. And now all of the old emotions have come back and all my brain can think of its, you need a drink or 20. Wtf is wrong with me? Our relationship ended badly, and I guess I never forgiven myself for that. And the depression of the sh** storm I have made of my life really came to the forefront of where I am at today vs where it could have been. Sorry for the rant. Pity party. Just figured I would post here instead of going to the bar. :/
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Old 12-04-2015, 02:57 PM
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Did NOT message him. It is wrong... but I just needed to say it out alound so the sneaky thought didn't consume me... I guess u guys can judge and tut but as u don't know me then it's not as bad.... I have no idea why this is happening. .. I am not a bad person I hope... but riding that urge was like riding a drink craving... what's that all about ffs! Going to bed. Wish I could just feel normal. .. just normal... but what is that????
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Old 12-04-2015, 03:02 PM
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My town was **** down today cause we got 3 ft of snow in about 12 hrs. So having no commitments for the day, cleaned the house and finally unpacked the last of the boxes from our move (in September ... ) . Felt incredibly good, winter nesting in full effect.
Last night for some reason I got really restless and irritable . Had a really intense craving . Pretty much just had to go to bed and sleep it off. Thankful today had felt so much better. Phewww
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Old 12-04-2015, 03:03 PM
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Shut , not ****
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Old 12-04-2015, 03:43 PM
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[QUOTE=GoldenSands;5674619]my new book "Drinking: A Love Story" [/Q3UOTE]

Read that just last week and loved it. Ironically two perfectly dried pot leaves fell out of it as I did! I had bought it at a thrift store, too funny!
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Old 12-04-2015, 03:47 PM
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Slugging down a Coke zero as my AV is chattering about how nice and relaxing a drink would be. Argh!
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