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Class of November 2015 Part 5

Old 12-04-2015, 06:14 AM
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Good morning everyone!
I can't believe it's the end of the week already. I've been doing very well so far, I have successfully made it through my first week and I feel a million times better than I did 7 days ago. I've gone to the gym now 3 days in a row and I'm planning to go in 2 hours. I've been eating much better and I'm hoping that in another 7 days I'll start to feel a few pounds lighter. I've been getting very good sleep so now my mood is much more positive and I'm feeling like my old self again. I'm looking forward to being sober the whole weekend and enjoying my two days off of work.(usually my weekend days were filled sleeping all day and being hungover until Monday). I'm going to help my dad put up the Christmas lights and do some Christmas decorating inside.
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Old 12-04-2015, 06:19 AM
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Originally Posted by enfinthechange View Post
I could not live without such awesomeness. ... similar to cookies I guess... but yet not.... Google mcvities chocolate digestives! Mmmmm
Ive tried McVities and remember loving them but it was years and years ago! But I absolutely LOVE TIM TAMS! I'm in the U.S. But they sell Tim tams at our target sometimes and a friend from over in Australia introduced me to Tim tams and then the Tim tam slam. Mind. Blown. Everyone go get Tim tams and a cup of hot tea and YouTube "Tim tam slam" !
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Old 12-04-2015, 06:27 AM
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Originally Posted by bblackbirdflyy View Post
Give up coffee???
LOL Blackbird. My thoughts exactly. My sister in law posted this poem for mornings on my FB feed and I think it says it all.

Coffee, coffee, coffee,
Coffee,
Coffee, Coffee,
Everyone shut up.
Coffee.
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Old 12-04-2015, 06:27 AM
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Day 7! Woke up at 330 on a day I can't be tired! But at least I'm as good as I can be.

Be well novemberists.
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Old 12-04-2015, 06:36 AM
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Ahh I cannot give up coffee! Well, I was considering it recently in efforts to get rid of anxiety. But I managed to just get down to one cup of coffee in the morning and so far so good. I would like to eventually switch to a high quality green tea.

IM ON DAY 20!
Yay!!!

A friend is watching my kids today so my husband and I can go to a dog agility trial and have some fun. So gotta get ready for that now which means getting myself showered and dressed, snacks packed for husband and I so we don't feel tempted to eat out, lunches packed for the kids, and everything under the sun in th diaper bag haha. But wanted to check in first!

Everyone keep fighting!! Looking at kiki's roster, everyone is just going up up up. We got this.
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Old 12-04-2015, 07:04 AM
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I woke up at 5am. Anxiety again. Shaky hands, racing heart...I'm exhausted.
I don't know how to stop this. I don't know how to stop my thoughts.
It has to get better at some point. It's the only thing that keeps me going.
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Old 12-04-2015, 07:18 AM
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Good morning class. Patricia68, I think you previously mentioned being on prescription meds, maybe you need to see you doctor for an evaluation. Maybe by not having alcohol in your system your meds need to be adjusted? I think you have suffered long enough, please get some medical advice, you deserve some relief!

Friday, day 13, I think I'll stay in today!
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Old 12-04-2015, 07:28 AM
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Thank you Odelle. I saw my doctor last week, but there's so much that the medication can do. I know I need to make some changes in my lifestyle and the way I react to stress. I need to learn not to let other people's bad mood affect me. I need to learn not to worry about things I can't control. I'm also working with my counsellor, but it's a slow process and most days the anxiety gets the best of me, and makes it difficult to function
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Old 12-04-2015, 07:40 AM
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Hang in the Patricia68, the breakthrough may be just around the corner, so don't you let the AV convince you otherwise. You deserve so much more and I believe in you!
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Old 12-04-2015, 08:43 AM
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I believe in you too, Patricia. Many alcoholics have coexisting mental health issues. Being sober is the ONLY way your anxiety will improve. Remember how bad it was waking up in the morning after drinking? Feeling your skin crawling? Ick. You are right, it will take a little time, but it will be so worth it! Alcoholics want instant gratification (bc that's what the drink was), but the real good things in life take time. Hang in there! (((Patricia)))

Friday morning here. Having a hard time focusing but other than that feeling okay. Proud of myself for making it to day 10. I hope you all have a good one!
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Old 12-04-2015, 08:44 AM
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Originally Posted by patricia68 View Post
I woke up at 5am. Anxiety again. Shaky hands, racing heart...I'm exhausted.
I don't know how to stop this. I don't know how to stop my thoughts.
It has to get better at some point. It's the only thing that keeps me going.
Hi Patricia-
Sorry you're struggling. Is there a chance you're waking up because of benzo withdrawal? I have a doctor friend who was going through a ton of stress and his doctor prescribed him Xanax, but after a few weeks he said he had to stop taking it because it would wake him up early (feeling out of sorts) because his body wanted another dose. (Is Xanax a benzo?). Anyway, just a thought.
I hope you feel better today.
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Old 12-04-2015, 08:54 AM
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Originally Posted by Keepnitreal View Post
Hi Patricia-
Sorry you're struggling. Is there a chance you're waking up because of benzo withdrawal? I have a doctor friend who was going through a ton of stress and his doctor prescribed him Xanax, but after a few weeks he said he had to stop taking it because it would wake him up early (feeling out of sorts) because his body wanted another dose. (Is Xanax a benzo?). Anyway, just a thought.
I hope you feel better today.
I'm pretty sure I'm going through benzo withdrawal Keepnitreal. I'm tapering the dose, and I've been feeling horrible anxiety since then. I am feeling out of sorts like your friend. Xanax and what I'm taking (Ativan) are very similar, both short acting benzos.
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Old 12-04-2015, 08:58 AM
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Morning class! Day 26 here! I think I'm gonna make it to day 30. I have a party tomorrow that has me concerned, but I told hubby I will be the DD (first time ever...usually I get smashed and he has to roll me in the car and bring me home) I'm hoping that stops these people from pushing me to drink ��
I may be posting a lot tomorrow!
Anyway, I seem to be feeling a lot better emotionally then I did last week. Still struggling a bit with hubby (trying to decide if I'm just hyper sensitive to everything or if he's being an a**....I guess time will tell). Yesterday we went to lunch and talked a bit. I asked if he was trying to sabotage me. He looked at me with a weird look on his face and covered the emblem on his shirt with his hand and he said, "no never!" I started cracking up because it was a winery shirt). I'm not that fragile! Lol.
Anyway, I told him that I originally stopped drinking for him and our son, but now I'm not drinking for me too! That's a huge thing in my eyes. I made it clear that pushing to get his way at all costs was not ok, and that I still needed his support on this journey, and if he couldn't be there I wasn't staying. Kinda a rough line to draw in the sand, but it's pretty important to me. Now I have to decide what's "real " and what's my creeped out hypersensitivity!!!!! Arggggg. I wonder how long it takes until emotions and feelings aren't out of whack.
Anyway, have a great day everybody. Let's rock this weekend!!!
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Old 12-04-2015, 09:00 AM
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Originally Posted by patricia68 View Post
I'm pretty sure I'm going through benzo withdrawal Keepnitreal. I'm tapering the dose, and I've been feeling horrible anxiety since then. I am feeling out of sorts like your friend. Xanax and what I'm taking (Ativan) are very similar, both short acting benzos.
That makes sense Patricia! Hang in there. You're taking a huge step dumping alcohol and anxiety meds. Be proud!!!!
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Old 12-04-2015, 09:12 AM
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Originally Posted by Keepnitreal View Post
Now I have to decide what's "real " and what's my creeped out hypersensitivity!!!!! Arggggg. I wonder how long it takes until emotions and feelings aren't out of whack.
I've been wondering the same Keepnitreal. I also feel hypersensitive and every "not so nice" thing that my husband says sets me off.

I don't know if I'm hypersensitive or if my self-esteem is so low right now that I just can't seem to cope with negativity.

I really hope it gets better!
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Old 12-04-2015, 09:26 AM
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(((Patricia)))

I'm so sorry you are suffering. I understand because I too have a severe anxiety disorder.

One thing I CAN say is today (19 days away from my last drink) my anxiety is 85-90% better. I've also added an hour of brisk walking to my daily routine & I think that helps.

Another strange thing I have realized lately is I "hold my breath" a lot without realizing it. I know...weird! Anyway, I have been paying close attention to that and practicing breathing. Really helps.

I'm finding that the longer I am sober the more my brain is healing so relief should be coming your way! Hang in there! I am praying for you!

And P.S. I hope things are getting more tolerable with your husband. I realize that's a huge challenge for you.
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Old 12-04-2015, 09:56 AM
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Originally Posted by RedAndy View Post
Healthygoals - out of interest did you have much sugar last night ? I have very little in my diet at all and completely cut it out occasionally for two weeks then slowly introduce natural sugars back in, however a few nights ago I had a real craving and ate a few sweets & chocolates after having a dessert as well earlier in the evening - following morning I felt the same like I'd been out on the ale - just a thought that maybe too much sugar made you feel rough.
Hah! That could be it! Thanks I will need to experiment.
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Old 12-04-2015, 10:54 AM
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Originally Posted by patricia68 View Post
I woke up at 5am. Anxiety again. Shaky hands, racing heart...I'm exhausted.
I don't know how to stop this. I don't know how to stop my thoughts.
It has to get better at some point. It's the only thing that keeps me going.
Hi Patricia, I am part of this class but you all wouldn't know it as I havent posted (but lurked alot) since i quit drinking 8 days ago. I just wanted to say that i was on Ativan several years and when i quit taking it, it was rough. You say you think you are having benzo withdrawls. Well it took me over a month to feel normal again. I was chronically tired, head aches and woyld get these weird vision things happening. Stick it out and it will get better. I will say i tapered iff them and i dont know what your experience is but wanted to say i have been there!
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Old 12-04-2015, 11:28 AM
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Thank you Avra. I keep thinking that this has to get better once the withdrawals are over. It's the only hope that I have that keeps me going. It's really difficult today, I can barely function. Thank you so much for your support.
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Old 12-04-2015, 12:28 PM
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I went out earlier to pick up some Christmas decorations and then stopped at the grocery store on my way home. Bam, out of nowhere came the biggest craving ever. I battled it for a while and then conceded to buying a bottle of wine, no one home you know…. The internal battle continued, “I can’t fail another class; no one will know; you will know; once in a while is okay; no, it isn’t; you’ll have a headache tomorrow and will be so disappointed with yourself; yadda, yadda, yadda." I finally checked out sans the wine and rushed to my car.

The incident triggered a tension headache and now my temples are throbbing! Dang, that was really close. I’m home, back in sweats and I am not leaving this house.
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