Class of November 2015 Part 5
Member
Join Date: Nov 2015
Posts: 59
Originally Posted by KiKi0615 
Geeze! I need an attitude adjustment this morning! I haven't even gotten out of bed and I'm already pissed at people for things they did to me starting 25 years ago! What the heck? Resentments are just running through my head. I wonder if I had a dream that fueled this negativity?
I need to do a gratitude list!
Hmmmm....well I will work through all this stuff with counseling and the steps so it doesn't trip me up later! The AV is probably trying to sneak in through the "back door" and get me that way. Its relentless!
Ok now that I got some of the Saturday morning negativity out (sorry)...lets start over....
Good morning! Day 20 for me! I went all day yesterday AND the day before with out a craving and very few thoughts of drinking! Anxiety is so much better. Depression gone. Gonna head out for a workout now after I send the class list out!
Have a wonderful sober day!
I need to do a gratitude list!
Hmmmm....well I will work through all this stuff with counseling and the steps so it doesn't trip me up later! The AV is probably trying to sneak in through the "back door" and get me that way. Its relentless!
Ok now that I got some of the Saturday morning negativity out (sorry)...lets start over....
Good morning! Day 20 for me! I went all day yesterday AND the day before with out a craving and very few thoughts of drinking! Anxiety is so much better. Depression gone. Gonna head out for a workout now after I send the class list out!
Have a wonderful sober day!
Member
Join Date: Nov 2015
Location: USA
Posts: 5,250
Good Morning class! It's Saturday December 5, 2015! Have a great sober day! :-)
We are STRONGER TOGETHER!!!
*Canguy -27 days
*HealthyGoals -20 days
*Me (KiKi) -20 days
*Patricia -working her butt off! :-)
*StrangeAngel-working her butt off too!!! :-)
*Pams -20 days
*GoldenSands -21 days
*CurlyGirl -30 days
*KeepNitreal -28 days
*BlackBirdFly -21 days
*Noolan -16 days
*SwimKim - 11 days
*MeShelly -21 days
*Thumbelina -36 days
*WalkTheLine-15 days
*Supertired -10 days
*Max74 -35 days
*DariaM -15 days
*ForeverFuzzy -16 days
*Jemma44 -27 days
*Blondsober -13 days
*Snowvelvet -31 days
*GoldCoastGirl -14 days
*Badger257 -21 days
*Odelle -14 days
*Tufty13 -34 days
*TryinginTexas - 21 days
*Onetimeless -29 days
*Chicklet -11 days
*Dallow - 13 days
*Learntofly -42 days
*Faithfulandfree - 7 day
*Tootsiesdad -27 days
*SoberMarathon -13 days
*Introspectator- 20 days
*RedAndy -21 days
*Rah555 -12 days
>Alphonse -18 days
*amitranjan04 -11 days
*ultradad -15 days
>got2stopnow -13 days
*Fabat50 -28 days
*Enfinthechange -8 days
*SilentCinemaFan -8 days
*VanillaChaiTea -8 days
*Deniselarkin -8 days
*Augusta1893 -8 days
*Determined82 -8 Days
*Mish - 8 days
*Missy7 -8 days
*Paul37 -7 days
*Tatersalad -8 days
*FacingFuture-? days
*IronPhoenix -? days
*Beautifulpines -not counting days :-)
*REMEMBER-all we REALLY have is TODAY...this 24 hours. It's not a race. There is no shame in starting over as long as we NEVER GIVE UP!!! There is no graduation; just a wonderful journey into the happiness and amazing life we all deserve...
We are STRONGER TOGETHER!!!
*Canguy -27 days
*HealthyGoals -20 days
*Me (KiKi) -20 days
*Patricia -working her butt off! :-)
*StrangeAngel-working her butt off too!!! :-)
*Pams -20 days
*GoldenSands -21 days
*CurlyGirl -30 days
*KeepNitreal -28 days
*BlackBirdFly -21 days
*Noolan -16 days
*SwimKim - 11 days
*MeShelly -21 days
*Thumbelina -36 days
*WalkTheLine-15 days
*Supertired -10 days
*Max74 -35 days
*DariaM -15 days
*ForeverFuzzy -16 days
*Jemma44 -27 days
*Blondsober -13 days
*Snowvelvet -31 days
*GoldCoastGirl -14 days
*Badger257 -21 days
*Odelle -14 days
*Tufty13 -34 days
*TryinginTexas - 21 days
*Onetimeless -29 days
*Chicklet -11 days
*Dallow - 13 days
*Learntofly -42 days
*Faithfulandfree - 7 day
*Tootsiesdad -27 days
*SoberMarathon -13 days
*Introspectator- 20 days
*RedAndy -21 days
*Rah555 -12 days
>Alphonse -18 days
*amitranjan04 -11 days
*ultradad -15 days
>got2stopnow -13 days
*Fabat50 -28 days
*Enfinthechange -8 days
*SilentCinemaFan -8 days
*VanillaChaiTea -8 days
*Deniselarkin -8 days
*Augusta1893 -8 days
*Determined82 -8 Days
*Mish - 8 days
*Missy7 -8 days
*Paul37 -7 days
*Tatersalad -8 days
*FacingFuture-? days
*IronPhoenix -? days
*Beautifulpines -not counting days :-)
*REMEMBER-all we REALLY have is TODAY...this 24 hours. It's not a race. There is no shame in starting over as long as we NEVER GIVE UP!!! There is no graduation; just a wonderful journey into the happiness and amazing life we all deserve...
Member
Join Date: Jan 2013
Location: San Francisco Bay Area, CA
Posts: 349
Day 13. Made it through a Friday night with the AV screaming but ice cream came to the rescue - with some caramel on top.
Then had vivid "drinking" dream - at a concert, I had a beer. A co-worker grabbed my plastic beer glass and dropped it, spilling half of it. I was so angry I splashed the rest of it on his dress shirt, and the rest of the dream trying to find another beer and a way to apologize and explain why I splashed the beer all over his shirt.
Luckily, at least, the dream didn't really romanticize beer drinking! : )
Then had vivid "drinking" dream - at a concert, I had a beer. A co-worker grabbed my plastic beer glass and dropped it, spilling half of it. I was so angry I splashed the rest of it on his dress shirt, and the rest of the dream trying to find another beer and a way to apologize and explain why I splashed the beer all over his shirt.
Luckily, at least, the dream didn't really romanticize beer drinking! : )
Member
Join Date: Sep 2013
Location: Canada
Posts: 1,075
Originally Posted by strangeangel
right now I don't feel like I'll ever beat if.
I know it can be overwhelming at times. Forever is a scary word. How's about "I'm not going to drink today."
You're not depriving yourself of alcohol. You're doing yourself a favor by not drinking. You're breaking free of your addiction. Fight for that freedom. You can do it!
Member
Join Date: Jan 2013
Location: San Francisco Bay Area, CA
Posts: 349
Originally Posted by patricia68
I think that's where you need to start. Change your attitude. If you think you can't then you won't
I know it can be overwhelming at times. Forever is a scary word. How's about "I'm not going to drink today."
You're not depriving yourself of alcohol. You're doing yourself a favor by not drinking. You're breaking free of your addiction. Fight for that freedom. You can do it!
I know it can be overwhelming at times. Forever is a scary word. How's about "I'm not going to drink today."
You're not depriving yourself of alcohol. You're doing yourself a favor by not drinking. You're breaking free of your addiction. Fight for that freedom. You can do it!
Sorry for the silly advice, but anything to get through that 15 minutes of craving . . . and this coming from a guy!
Member
Join Date: Oct 2015
Location: Southern California
Posts: 690
Good morning all-
Patricia- I'm sorry your mornings are so tough. It's probably part of the benzo withdrawal and will get better in time. I hope meditation starts working!
Kiki- sorry you woke up in a bad mood! I like how you switched gears. Btw- you keep trying to get me to 30 days faster then the calendar. I'm at 27 days, not 28. Slowest moving days of my life!!!
Strange-sorry you had a slip. The anti use might be a good idea until you get to a place where you feel comfortable saying no. You can also start posting when you first get cravings so we can try to help you say no to that first drink.
I woke up this am with my mind telling me once I've got a few months sobriety I can decide if I want to occasionally party while on vacation, special events etc...as long as I don't ever drink at home again or without company. What's up with that???
I think feeling so isolated during the holidays is getting to me. I've always felt like I was on the outside looking in, but self imposed isolation brings this to a whole new level!
Patricia- I'm sorry your mornings are so tough. It's probably part of the benzo withdrawal and will get better in time. I hope meditation starts working!
Kiki- sorry you woke up in a bad mood! I like how you switched gears. Btw- you keep trying to get me to 30 days faster then the calendar. I'm at 27 days, not 28. Slowest moving days of my life!!!
Strange-sorry you had a slip. The anti use might be a good idea until you get to a place where you feel comfortable saying no. You can also start posting when you first get cravings so we can try to help you say no to that first drink.
I woke up this am with my mind telling me once I've got a few months sobriety I can decide if I want to occasionally party while on vacation, special events etc...as long as I don't ever drink at home again or without company. What's up with that???
I think feeling so isolated during the holidays is getting to me. I've always felt like I was on the outside looking in, but self imposed isolation brings this to a whole new level!
Member
Join Date: Feb 2013
Location: California
Posts: 2,643
Hey Keepnitreal, I'm with you in the "self-isolation" category, and at times it can be rough. My self-realization is that the first drink is my downfall, whether out with friends or home alone, it triggers the addict in me and never, never stops at one. This has been tested over and over again (my experience) and never ends well. Sometimes, when feeling really lonely, just getting out of the house and being around other people, be it in a store or mall, helps get me out of the isolated and trapped state of mind.
Congratulations on 27 days, and if Kikki wants to advance you another 24 hours, well you probably earned them!
Congratulations on 27 days, and if Kikki wants to advance you another 24 hours, well you probably earned them!
Member
Join Date: Nov 2015
Posts: 59
Originally Posted by Keepnitreal
Good morning all-
Patricia- I'm sorry your mornings are so tough. It's probably part of the benzo withdrawal and will get better in time. I hope meditation starts working!
Kiki- sorry you woke up in a bad mood! I like how you switched gears. Btw- you keep trying to get me to 30 days faster then the calendar. I'm at 27 days, not 28. Slowest moving days of my life!!!
Strange-sorry you had a slip. The anti use might be a good idea until you get to a place where you feel comfortable saying no. You can also start posting when you first get cravings so we can try to help you say no to that first drink.
I woke up this am with my mind telling me once I've got a few months sobriety I can decide if I want to occasionally party while on vacation, special events etc...as long as I don't ever drink at home again or without company. What's up with that???
I think feeling so isolated during the holidays is getting to me. I've always felt like I was on the outside looking in, but self imposed isolation brings this to a whole new level!
Patricia- I'm sorry your mornings are so tough. It's probably part of the benzo withdrawal and will get better in time. I hope meditation starts working!
Kiki- sorry you woke up in a bad mood! I like how you switched gears. Btw- you keep trying to get me to 30 days faster then the calendar. I'm at 27 days, not 28. Slowest moving days of my life!!!
Strange-sorry you had a slip. The anti use might be a good idea until you get to a place where you feel comfortable saying no. You can also start posting when you first get cravings so we can try to help you say no to that first drink.
I woke up this am with my mind telling me once I've got a few months sobriety I can decide if I want to occasionally party while on vacation, special events etc...as long as I don't ever drink at home again or without company. What's up with that???
I think feeling so isolated during the holidays is getting to me. I've always felt like I was on the outside looking in, but self imposed isolation brings this to a whole new level!
Member
Join Date: Jan 2013
Location: UK
Posts: 123
Hi all,
Checking in on day 31. I've been busy with my step work, so not posting as much. But I know that posting here helps, so I endeavour to do so more next week.
Collected my month chip. Strangely enough, that month day was one of the hardest. Guess it's the realisation that achieving something in AA as it were doesn't put an end to it!
Hope all are well. sv x
Checking in on day 31. I've been busy with my step work, so not posting as much. But I know that posting here helps, so I endeavour to do so more next week.
Collected my month chip. Strangely enough, that month day was one of the hardest. Guess it's the realisation that achieving something in AA as it were doesn't put an end to it!
Hope all are well. sv x
Member
Join Date: Mar 2014
Location: deepest england
Posts: 1,119
Today is just crap... I wanted to have a lovely day with my kids, but Instead i feel really funny, disassociated , ultra depressed and weird. I dunno what's going on... no mega cravings just a latent desire to lie down and fade away. I hate this ****... there has to be something..... I can't actually handle this, I'd rather be in the pissed hungover cycle right now. At least I was mainly happy then, til an actual major disaster that nearly ruined everything. Oh yes, that... so probably better not. I'll just cry and drink tea.
Hope everyone is doing better than this.
!!!! If u weren't here if be drunk for sure...
Hope everyone is doing better than this.
!!!! If u weren't here if be drunk for sure...
Member
Join Date: Oct 2015
Location: Southern California
Posts: 690
Originally Posted by tatersalad
That whole idea that I had it under control after a few months last time is exactly what got me back to where I am now I don't know everything except for me I could not control it . I had eight months of sobriety followed by almost 2 years of struggling with alcoholism again don't listen to your AV even after You cross a sobriety milestone
That is a scary thought. I didn't plan on "controlling the number of drinks" just the occasions, but I never want to go back again. Thank you guys so much!!!
Member
Join Date: Mar 2015
Posts: 262
Originally Posted by blondsober
Strangeangel - like Pat said, it's one day, one hour, at a time. Last night it was some ice cream and caramel. Tuesday night, when people were around me were drinking, I had some Italian pomegranate soda. Do you have any childhood favorite snacks? Ditch the drinks out of the house and load up on some fun stuff. Twinkies? Hostess cup cakes? Tiger's Milk bars? Yoplait? See's Candies? Sorry for the silly advice, but anything to get through that 15 minutes of craving . . . and this coming from a guy!
Member
Join Date: Feb 2013
Location: California
Posts: 2,643
Enfin, as hard as it seems now, try to fake it till you make it. Get up, get ready and take your kids out someplace fun and festive. It may be what YOU need to pull you out of the sh*t mindset. If recovery was easy, there probably wouldn't be as many addicts or recovery centers, would there? I think what I'm trying to say is that yes, this is hard, and at times it seems impossible, but you ARE doing it, one day at a time, and that is what makes you special!
Member
Join Date: Nov 2015
Posts: 59
Originally Posted by Keepnitreal
That is a scary thought. I didn't plan on "controlling the number of drinks" just the occasions, but I never want to go back again. Thank you guys so much!!!
Member
Join Date: Oct 2015
Location: Southern California
Posts: 690
Originally Posted by snowvelvet
Hi all,
Checking in on day 31. I've been busy with my step work, so not posting as much. But I know that posting here helps, so I endeavour to do so more next week.
Collected my month chip. Strangely enough, that month day was one of the hardest. Guess it's the realisation that achieving something in AA as it were doesn't put an end to it!
Hang in there Elfin- it's strange how these moods come on out of the blue, but they do pass. I was in a terrible funk last week after days of feeling great, and then was barely able to function for 3-4 days. Hang in there! Doing something outside with the kids will likely help raise your spirits!
Hope all are well. sv x
Checking in on day 31. I've been busy with my step work, so not posting as much. But I know that posting here helps, so I endeavour to do so more next week.
Collected my month chip. Strangely enough, that month day was one of the hardest. Guess it's the realisation that achieving something in AA as it were doesn't put an end to it!
Hang in there Elfin- it's strange how these moods come on out of the blue, but they do pass. I was in a terrible funk last week after days of feeling great, and then was barely able to function for 3-4 days. Hang in there! Doing something outside with the kids will likely help raise your spirits!
Hope all are well. sv x
Last edited by Keepnitreal; 12-05-2015 at 09:30 AM. Reason: Add
Member
Join Date: Jun 2014
Posts: 563
Morning, All!
Strangeangel, great job coming right back here. From my experience, it takes a lot of courage to do that after a slip. Good for you
As for as recovery plans go, here is a link that has really helped me. Perhaps take a look through it and a light bulb may go off
https://store.samhsa.gov/shin/conten...0/SMA-3720.pdf
Enfin, I'm sorry you are having a rough day. Odelle is right, not every day will be easy. Some will be straight up hard and miserable. But as you stay sober, over time the bad days will be far outnumbered by the good ones, and you will be better able to cope with the bad ones. Thinking about you - hang in there!
Kiki, I remember how intense and frequent the cravings were for you those first few days. I am so proud of you for making it this far! You are a testament that with work, the cravings will lessen and be easier to handle. You rock
To everyone else, I hope you have a great day! I'm off to the gym. Love these sober weekend mornings!
Strangeangel, great job coming right back here. From my experience, it takes a lot of courage to do that after a slip. Good for you
As for as recovery plans go, here is a link that has really helped me. Perhaps take a look through it and a light bulb may go off https://store.samhsa.gov/shin/conten...0/SMA-3720.pdf
Enfin, I'm sorry you are having a rough day. Odelle is right, not every day will be easy. Some will be straight up hard and miserable. But as you stay sober, over time the bad days will be far outnumbered by the good ones, and you will be better able to cope with the bad ones. Thinking about you - hang in there!
Kiki, I remember how intense and frequent the cravings were for you those first few days. I am so proud of you for making it this far! You are a testament that with work, the cravings will lessen and be easier to handle. You rock
To everyone else, I hope you have a great day! I'm off to the gym. Love these sober weekend mornings!
Member
Join Date: Jan 2013
Location: UK
Posts: 123
I had those feelings as well in the last few days. The whole idea was that I still feel like crap anyway, so I may as well be a bit pissed as then I at least get some relief from the crap.
I know in my heart that's bs though. The mood passes and does not last long. The anxiety, nigh, terror, would last far longer.
I remind myself when I get like that I am not giving anything up. Instead I'm escaping from the prison I was held in.
I know in my heart that's bs though. The mood passes and does not last long. The anxiety, nigh, terror, would last far longer.
I remind myself when I get like that I am not giving anything up. Instead I'm escaping from the prison I was held in.
Member
Join Date: Nov 2015
Posts: 116
Hey Class
Hope everyone is good. 8 days and going strong. Last night I had very strong cravings but when I woke up fresh this morning I had zero regrets. This was not a normal Saturday morning feeling for me and it felt GREAT!
Hope you all have a wonderful weekend
Hope everyone is good. 8 days and going strong. Last night I had very strong cravings but when I woke up fresh this morning I had zero regrets. This was not a normal Saturday morning feeling for me and it felt GREAT!
Hope you all have a wonderful weekend
Member
Join Date: Jun 2011
Location: Midwest, USA
Posts: 1,551
Originally Posted by strangeangel
I'm back at day 1 today. I have had a terrible week. I don't want to drink anymore, and I just can't stop myself. Thought I could, but I can't. I hate being drunk and I hate being hungover. I hope I can learn. Any advice on how to realllllyyy commit, bc I've half- assed it the past few times. I really need to do it this time. I want my life back. Wish me luck. I'm going to go back on Antabuse, but right now I don't feel like I'll ever beat if.
Making the change is a promise to yourself above all else.
Recognize that your addictive brain is separate from who you are. Your addiction lives in the animalistic part of your brian. Food, water, shelter, booze (it lies). Who you are lies in your heart and soul.
When AV starts whispering, cut it off. Yell at it out loud if you have to.
That's what has helped me this time. You've got this strangeangel! Be the change.
Member
Join Date: Aug 2014
Posts: 625
Day 12 for me! I am doing well..I've been using the "play the tape" idea when I am tempted, it's helping. My husband and I were planning on going out to a local bar/restaurant to watch football tomorrow but I suggested that we stay home and watch the games and make beef stew in the crockpot. He liked the idea so we will be staying in. This will keep me from entering a challenging situation where I would likely drink and end up overdoing it. We are having a quiet day today too..,did a little shopping, took a nap, going to dinner at my parents then building a gingerbread train tonight. I guess that seems boring but it keeps us out of bars. I have noticed that I am feeling better physically (so glad not to be hungover) mentally and emotionally. Hang in there class of November 2015!
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