Did NOT message him. It is wrong... but I just needed to say it out alound so the sneaky thought didn't consume me... I guess u guys can judge and tut but as u don't know me then it's not as bad.... I have no idea why this is happening. .. I am not a bad person I hope... but riding that urge was like riding a drink craving... what's that all about ffs! Going to bed. Wish I could just feel normal. .. just normal... but what is that????