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Class of November 2015 Part 5

Old 12-05-2015, 11:24 AM
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......morning people.

Wrote a bit, then lost it as connection dropped out.

In brief then:

Strange.....sorry u drank, give up the work drinks for a while if you're feeling vulnerable. But if you're back here.....then you're on the right track.

Made it through the night to Sunday morning here. Sat arvo, evening, night a hard time of the week for me. The world just disappears.
But have learnt that its just hours to ride out.....wanted fourth sober weekend in a row more than I wanted a hangover...or something like that.

Okay, off to start a better day.
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Old 12-05-2015, 11:45 AM
  # 342 (permalink)  
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Originally Posted by KiKi0615 View Post
Good Morning class! It's Saturday December 5, 2015! Have a great sober day! :-)

We are STRONGER TOGETHER!!!

*Canguy -27 days
*HealthyGoals -20 days
*Me (KiKi) -20 days
*Patricia -working her butt off! :-)
*StrangeAngel-working her butt off too!!! :-)
*Pams -20 days
*GoldenSands -21 days
*CurlyGirl -30 days
*KeepNitreal -28 days
*BlackBirdFly -21 days
*Noolan -16 days
*SwimKim - 11 days
*MeShelly -21 days
*Thumbelina -36 days
*WalkTheLine-15 days
*Supertired -10 days
*Max74 -35 days
*DariaM -15 days
*ForeverFuzzy -16 days
*Jemma44 -27 days
*Blondsober -13 days
*Snowvelvet -31 days
*GoldCoastGirl -14 days
*Badger257 -21 days
*Odelle -14 days
*Tufty13 -34 days
*TryinginTexas - 21 days
*Onetimeless -29 days
*Chicklet -11 days
*Dallow - 13 days
*Learntofly -42 days
*Faithfulandfree - 7 day
*Tootsiesdad -27 days
*SoberMarathon -13 days
*Introspectator- 20 days
*RedAndy -21 days
*Rah555 -12 days
>Alphonse -18 days
*amitranjan04 -11 days
*ultradad -15 days
>got2stopnow -13 days
*Fabat50 -28 days
*Enfinthechange -8 days
*SilentCinemaFan -8 days
*VanillaChaiTea -8 days
*Deniselarkin -8 days
*Augusta1893 -8 days
*Determined82 -8 Days
*Mish - 8 days
*Missy7 -8 days
*Paul37 -7 days
*Tatersalad -8 days
*FacingFuture-? days
*IronPhoenix -? days
*Beautifulpines -not counting days :-)

*REMEMBER-all we REALLY have is TODAY...this 24 hours. It's not a race. There is no shame in starting over as long as we NEVER GIVE UP!!! There is no graduation; just a wonderful journey into the happiness and amazing life we all deserve...
I am almost feeling guilty about posting here because things for me at the moment are too good to be true. But I am posting to motivate you all and tell you that things will get better and better. I am 30 days tomorrow. I think my AV has got bored with me and temporarily gone off to torture some other poor soul because I honestly have not heard from him these past few days. No cravings. No difficult moments. I have been exercising A LOT and that is helping. There really is a big difference, in my mind, from that horrible "crawling through those first 10 or so days" to finally getting to a place where you are feeling good after about a month. So keep going. Keep going people. I promise you you will feel lively, more confident and more beautiful with every day that passes once you get the first few horrible weeks out the way. Am with you all in spirit.
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Old 12-05-2015, 11:56 AM
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Originally Posted by Fabat50 View Post
I am almost feeling guilty about posting here because things for me at the moment are too good to be true. But I am posting to motivate you all and tell you that things will get better and better. I am 30 days tomorrow. I think my AV has got bored with me and temporarily gone off to torture some other poor soul because I honestly have not heard from him these past few days. No cravings. No difficult moments. I have been exercising A LOT and that is helping. There really is a big difference, in my mind, from that horrible "crawling through those first 10 or so days" to finally getting to a place where you are feeling good after about a month. So keep going. Keep going people. I promise you you will feel lively, more confident and more beautiful with every day that passes once you get the first few horrible weeks out the way. Am with you all in spirit.
Oh good, potentially only 2 more days to resist chewing off my own arm or lying in the road.... thanks for giving me inspiration!
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Old 12-05-2015, 12:13 PM
  # 344 (permalink)  
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I'm really happy for you, enfin
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Old 12-05-2015, 01:17 PM
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Hey everyone!
Checking in a little later than usual. It's Saturday so I have a day off today. I unfortunately had some kind of food poisoning last night while eating homemade beef stew. I enjoyed it very much and an hour and 30 minutes later, I started getting sharp pains in my abdomen and in my digestive track. Nausea kicked in and I eventually threw up. The nausea reminded me of being hung over many times before so I certainly didn't miss it. I went straight to bed afterwards and woke up completely 100 percent normal again. I had some oatmeal for breakfast, went to the gym for 45 minutes and then had some New England Clam Chowder soup for lunch. So far, no craving of any kind. I have had some weird dreams about getting drunk though.... then I wake up and I realize it was all a dream.
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Old 12-05-2015, 01:42 PM
  # 346 (permalink)  
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Thanks Bim... still trying!
My husband has come back all happy with a 3 pack and swigging the cans in front of me..... it's weird as I don't want to, but easily could. .. and after all the mess of last weekend he is just drinking in front for me like I have no problem. It's odd... if some one had done that to me and professed massive struggle with alcohol, again ... I'm not sure I would crack a tube I front of them after only a week.....

Just going to learn to be me and do what I want. That'll have to do!

Bed soon, day 8 done. Not the best , but sober! Xx
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Old 12-05-2015, 02:04 PM
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4 pack I meant.... should know how many is in them after all these years!!! Hahaha... night z
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Old 12-05-2015, 02:09 PM
  # 348 (permalink)  
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Evening all, just checking in on my day 34 (I think), congratulations to everyone on their sober days.

I'm kind of ok, I'm not drinking but I have taken myself to cutting myself off a bit. Skipped a concert I had planned this week and tonight I was going to go and watch a reggae band at a local pub. That didn't happen either.

I'm less thinking about how I might be tempted to drink at these occasions and more thinking about not being able to enjoy myself.

I haven't seen a soul for days and I'm missing my children so much. They've gone to stay with their mum for three weeks and won't be home until the week before Christmas.

Gives me something to look forward to though.

I'm also getting loads done in the house, so that's good!
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Old 12-05-2015, 02:14 PM
  # 349 (permalink)  
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Originally Posted by enfinthechange View Post
Thanks Bim... still trying!
My husband has come back all happy with a 3 pack and swigging the cans in front of me..... it's weird as I don't want to, but easily could. .. and after all the mess of last weekend he is just drinking in front for me like I have no problem. It's odd... if some one had done that to me and professed massive struggle with alcohol, again ... I'm not sure I would crack a tube I front of them after only a week.....

Just going to learn to be me and do what I want. That'll have to do!

Bed soon, day 8 done. Not the best , but sober! Xx
Well done for not biting. If you don't mind me saying that's not a very (emotionally) intelligent thing for your husband to do.

Good luck and stay strong.
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Old 12-05-2015, 02:17 PM
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Originally Posted by tufty13 View Post
Evening all, just checking in on my day 34 (I think), congratulations to everyone on their sober days.

I'm kind of ok, I'm not drinking but I have taken myself to cutting myself off a bit. Skipped a concert I had planned this week and tonight I was going to go and watch a reggae band at a local pub. That didn't happen either.

I'm less thinking about how I might be tempted to drink at these occasions and more thinking about not being able to enjoy myself.

I haven't seen a soul for days and I'm missing my children so much. They've gone to stay with their mum for three weeks and won't be home until the week before Christmas.

Gives me something to look forward to though.

I'm also getting loads done in the house, so that's good!
Well done on not drinking, sound! Keeping busy is good too... helpstake the mind off things... cutting off is not so good... u need to talk to someone... have u a counselor??? Keep busy? Drink tea and look to the future... take it easy...
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Old 12-05-2015, 02:23 PM
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Originally Posted by tufty13 View Post

Well done for not biting. If you don't mind me saying that's not a very (emotionally) intelligent thing for your husband to do.

Good luck and stay strong.
No, not when u consider what I did last Friday. .. and the underlying emotional crap that made my pissed brain do that.... it looks like it has been brushed aside as stupid me again.... and nothing will be resolved so I will just nail down rhe box of writhing snakes that I have for a heart and wait til they burst out again next time... wonder what the holy crap will happen then... and how long I'll have to wait!
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Old 12-05-2015, 02:30 PM
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Originally Posted by enfinthechange View Post
No, not when u consider what I did last Friday. .. and the underlying emotional crap that made my pissed brain do that.... it looks like it has been brushed aside as stupid me again.... and nothing will be resolved so I will just nail down rhe box of writhing snakes that I have for a heart and wait til they burst out again next time... wonder what the holy crap will happen then... and how long I'll have to wait!
Just because you emotionally hurt your husband last week doesn't mean it's acceptable for him to slam beers down right in front of your face when you're in recovery and trying to get better. What he is doing to you isn't going to allow you to be the best person you can be. So I agree, what he is doing is unintelligent and wrong unless he's intentionally trying to ruin you. If that's the case you best figure out the next steps and move on.... We're here for you whatever you decide to do.
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Old 12-05-2015, 02:41 PM
  # 353 (permalink)  
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Originally Posted by SilentCinemaFan View Post

Just because you emotionally hurt your husband last week doesn't mean it's acceptable for him to slam beers down right in front of your face when you're in recovery and trying to get better. What he is doing to you isn't going to allow you to be the best person you can be. So I agree, what he is doing is unintelligent and wrong unless he's intentionally trying to ruin you. If that's the case you best figure out the next steps and move on.... We're here for you whatever you decide to do.
I am.going to have to try to ditch my emotional reliance on him... I am going to try and separate myself from him, while being still married and living together etc. ... he can be so lovely and he is so intent on a great family life for our kids... but for them i have to stop deferring to him, doing what he wants and I have to stop drinking. So I need to do other things more. A hobby, not just work all the time. Maybe we can talk about it one day!
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Old 12-05-2015, 02:43 PM
  # 354 (permalink)  
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Originally Posted by enfinthechange View Post
No, not when u consider what I did last Friday. .. and the underlying emotional crap that made my pissed brain do that.... it looks like it has been brushed aside as stupid me again.... and nothing will be resolved so I will just nail down rhe box of writhing snakes that I have for a heart and wait til they burst out again next time... wonder what the holy crap will happen then... and how long I'll have to wait!
I did MUCH worse than you did. So much worse. Loads of fall out.

My wife never reacted in such a childish way.

I'm not one for giving out advice but would you consider going to couples counselling?

My wife refused and we eventually got divorced after trying to make a go of it for three more years.

Give all that it's possible I'm projecting, but it also might be worth thinking about?
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Old 12-05-2015, 02:48 PM
  # 355 (permalink)  
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My anxiety used to be bad when I woke up too Patricia. I'm really hoping that once you get through the benzo taper things will even out for you.

Originally Posted by strangeangel View Post
I'm back at day 1 today. I have had a terrible week. I don't want to drink anymore, and I just can't stop myself. Thought I could, but I can't. I hate being drunk and I hate being hungover. I hope I can learn. Any advice on how to realllllyyy commit, bc I've half- assed it the past few times. I really need to do it this time. I want my life back. Wish me luck. I'm going to go back on Antabuse, but right now I don't feel like I'll ever beat if.
There's a lot of ways to commit I think. Committing to posting here before you drink is something I did.

That link that I post fairly often about making a recovery plan is good too, as is the link about cravings.

you can find all that and more in this thread:
http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...at-we-did.html


There's other things outside of SR tho - you could see your Dr, or a counsellor, or join a recovery group like AAor one of the many alternatives...you could even look at rehab programmes, inpatient and outpatient.

whatever you have to do to take drinking as a viable option off the table is worth it, I think

D
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Old 12-05-2015, 02:48 PM
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Day 13, marathon done, exhausted and not leaving the couch for 24hrs. Happy to be alcohol-free and not numbing myself with beer and wine which would be so easy and somewhat 'deserved' after a 26.2 mile run. Anyways, that's not going to happen. Just relaxing, gorging on junk food and taking it easy. Thought about the sober life during the run and I seem to be accepting it. Long ways to go before it becomes second nature but will press on. Life goes on and is arguably much better when sober and not hungover...at least for me!

Enjoy your sober Saturday everyone👍
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Old 12-05-2015, 02:51 PM
  # 357 (permalink)  
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Originally Posted by tufty13 View Post

I did MUCH worse than you did. So much worse. Loads of fall out.

My wife never reacted in such a childish way.

I'm not one for giving out advice but would you consider going to couples counselling?

My wife refused and we eventually got divorced after trying to make a go of it for three more years.

Give all that it's possible I'm projecting, but it also might be worth thinking about?
Maybe he doesn't believe I will...maybe he doesn't believe I'm serious.. maybe he doesn't care...maybe he doesn't see it as a problem, he obviously wants to keep drinking. ... he is n't being nasty to me, just watching TV downstairs while I'm in bed posting away! I would have thought that given I went out last Friday, got **** faced and got off with a 22 year old.... he might have wanted to talk about it, or ask why....

I have thought of nothing else... talked of nothing else to my close friends and just lived and breathed the disaster. ...

I made a crazy emotional connection to the young man, one I'm certain is not reciprocated... but so desperate am I for romance it seems I can fabricate anything! !! If he had called I would have run away with him for sure....silly me!

Ah, the sound of another can being opened. ..pavlova response crushed

I think it's odd... maybe?????
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Old 12-05-2015, 02:52 PM
  # 358 (permalink)  
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Originally Posted by SoberMarathon View Post
Day 13, marathon done, exhausted and not leaving the couch for 24hrs. Happy to be alcohol-free and not numbing myself with beer and wine which would be so easy and somewhat 'deserved' after a 26.2 mile run. Anyways, that's not going to happen. Just relaxing, gorging on junk food and taking it easy. Thought about the sober life during the run and I seem to be accepting it. Long ways to go before it becomes second nature but will press on. Life goes on and is arguably much better when sober and not hungover...at least for me!

Enjoy your sober Saturday everyone?dc4d
Wow, impressive. ..it's an effort to drive 26 miles for me!!! Hahah... well done!
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Old 12-05-2015, 02:54 PM
  # 359 (permalink)  
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For those feeling a bit isolated...it's ok to leave the house. I had to think outside the box a little though to find things I enjoyed doing that did not involve alcohol....

there's lots of good suggestions here to start with:
http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...ething-do.html

I hope you feel better today SCF

congrats on your upcoming 30 fabat

Hi enfin...my advice is to try and focus on your problem...which is not your husband drinking a four pack.

Stay focused and stay sober - keep working on building a recovery plan that deals with those writing snakes and the obvious void you were trying to fill- and things will get better, I promise

D
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Old 12-05-2015, 03:12 PM
  # 360 (permalink)  
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I'm feeling a little better in the afternoon.

I got the supplements from my naturopathic doctor in the mail today. She said it might take up to a week to see some results. We'll see.

I managed to eat a little bit more today and that helps too.

I haven't heard my AV talking for the first time in a long time. I know it might come back, but for now I'm enjoying the silence
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