Class of November 2015 Part 5
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Join Date: Feb 2013
Location: California
Posts: 2,643
Awe Badger, you hang in here with us this evening. Something is in the air today, pushing lots of buttons and testing many of us. Efin, I wish could tell you what is up with all this, but I can’t, I can say that I understand and can relate.
Healthygoals, I bought the book a couple of years ago, started reading it and never finished. That a few others. Supertired, your username describes me now following my intense battle with my AV. Good job fighting it off yesterday. I think I am getting a little too old to fight these battles, exhausting.
Well, I guess I should start dinner. I’ll be checking in frequently this weekend. Please send an SOS if anyone finds themselves losing the battle with the AV, or if you a good joke to share!
Healthygoals, I bought the book a couple of years ago, started reading it and never finished. That a few others. Supertired, your username describes me now following my intense battle with my AV. Good job fighting it off yesterday. I think I am getting a little too old to fight these battles, exhausting.
Well, I guess I should start dinner. I’ll be checking in frequently this weekend. Please send an SOS if anyone finds themselves losing the battle with the AV, or if you a good joke to share!
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Join Date: Jun 2014
Posts: 563
Odelle, great job making it through the craving!! I've been there before. The mental tug of war. Glad you won that battle. You are stronger for it!
Faithful, you will be able to be social again. It will just be different than it was while you were drinking. It's hard to imagine in early sobriety bc all we know is what we used to do, and we only wanted to do that while drinking. You will feel better and have a social life again, I promise
I hope everyone else is well!! My AV started making noise so I came here. Going to hit the gym and make open faced salmon melts for dinner and will wake up without a hangover!!
Faithful, you will be able to be social again. It will just be different than it was while you were drinking. It's hard to imagine in early sobriety bc all we know is what we used to do, and we only wanted to do that while drinking. You will feel better and have a social life again, I promise
I hope everyone else is well!! My AV started making noise so I came here. Going to hit the gym and make open faced salmon melts for dinner
and will wake up without a hangover!!
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Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,445
Originally Posted by enfinthechange 
Did NOT message him. It is wrong... but I just needed to say it out alound so the sneaky thought didn't consume me... I guess u guys can judge and tut but as u don't know me then it's not as bad.... I have no idea why this is happening. .. I am not a bad person I hope... but riding that urge was like riding a drink craving... what's that all about ffs! Going to bed. Wish I could just feel normal. .. just normal... but what is that????
Cross addiction - getting addicted to something else aside from our drug of choice is pretty common - I think the thrill of 'being bad' and fantasizing about an illicit relationship could be just as intoxicating as alcohol.
Our AV has no shame.
Needless to say it would be a completely self-destructive path to go down, and I have faith in you - I know you're a decent person too. We all do
D
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Join Date: Oct 2015
Location: Southern California
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Originally Posted by FaithfulAndFree
Friday's are usually my night to get dolled up and go into the city for dinner and drinks. It's probably my only social time. I know this is possible sober but I don't think in strong enough yet. My will is weakening and I'm sad that I can't see a life passed my old drinking lifestyle 
. Staying in the house tonight... Bored and bothered but I'm fighting thru it
. Staying in the house tonight... Bored and bothered but I'm fighting thru itTomorrow at a party I plan on acting fun as though I had been drinking even though I won't. That out to shock everybody! Lol
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Join Date: Oct 2015
Location: Southern California
Posts: 690
Originally Posted by Odelle
Thank you for your support Healthygoals and Canguy, it really shook me to the core due to the intensity, and it just appeared with no obvious trigger. Beware the insidious AV, it lays in wait and strikes when its host is most vulnerable! 
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Join Date: Dec 2012
Location: USA
Posts: 678
Happy Friday...my wife has gone to a holiday party and I've elected to skip it and thus skip paying for a babysitter. Having no babysitter and the marathon in the morning is an optimal excuse for missing a boozefest! Like many of you, I don't feel for being at these social events right now under the circumstances. The anxiety of not drinking, and trying to be social is way too stressful to consider at the moment. This antisocial behavior has to pass but I need some solid sober time before heading back into the social world.
Keep up the fight with AV everyone. Weekends can be brutal but I trust that they will get better.
Keep up the fight with AV everyone. Weekends can be brutal but I trust that they will get better.
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Join Date: Aug 2015
Posts: 121
[QUOTE=Healthygoals;5674701] Sooo funny haha!
Originally Posted by GoldenSands
my new book "Drinking: A Love Story" [/Q3UOTE]
Read that just last week and loved it. Ironically two perfectly dried pot leaves fell out of it as I did! I had bought it at a thrift store, too funny!
Read that just last week and loved it. Ironically two perfectly dried pot leaves fell out of it as I did! I had bought it at a thrift store, too funny!
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Join Date: Jun 2011
Location: Midwest, USA
Posts: 1,551
Originally Posted by pams
LOL Blackbird. My thoughts exactly. My sister in law posted this poem for mornings on my FB feed and I think it says it all.
Coffee, coffee, coffee,
Coffee,
Coffee, Coffee,
Everyone shut up.
Coffee.
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Join Date: Aug 2015
Posts: 121
Originally Posted by enfinthechange
Did NOT message him. It is wrong... but I just needed to say it out alound so the sneaky thought didn't consume me... I guess u guys can judge and tut but as u don't know me then it's not as bad.... I have no idea why this is happening. .. I am not a bad person I hope... but riding that urge was like riding a drink craving... what's that all about ffs! Going to bed. Wish I could just feel normal. .. just normal... but what is that????
life is complicated. Just offering support.
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Join Date: Jun 2011
Location: Midwest, USA
Posts: 1,551
Originally Posted by Healthygoals
Good morning class, I think it's day 19.
Have read all your posts, so many struggles but so much success too which is awesome. BB wow! Glad you're ok! I totaled a SUV in 2010, fell asleep and hit a telephone pole, walked away with bruises, the post accident mental stress was brutal, good for you for staying sober!
Have read all your posts, so many struggles but so much success too which is awesome. BB wow! Glad you're ok! I totaled a SUV in 2010, fell asleep and hit a telephone pole, walked away with bruises, the post accident mental stress was brutal, good for you for staying sober!
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Join Date: Sep 2013
Location: Canada
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I'm going to bed early. I think I'm going to meditate and try this new lavender oil and see if it helps me relax.
I am so thankful for SR. I received so much support today. Your posts and messages really helped me to go through this horrible day. Thank you so much.
I am so thankful for SR. I received so much support today. Your posts and messages really helped me to go through this horrible day. Thank you so much.
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Join Date: Jun 2011
Location: Midwest, USA
Posts: 1,551
Originally Posted by badger257
So, I haven't had a craving or a trigger in two weeks. Today I saw my ex at the mall with what I would guess is her boyfriend. It has been a year or so since I have even spoken or seen her. And now all of the old emotions have come back and all my brain can think of its, you need a drink or 20. Wtf is wrong with me? Our relationship ended badly, and I guess I never forgiven myself for that. And the depression of the sh** storm I have made of my life really came to the forefront of where I am at today vs where it could have been. Sorry for the rant. Pity party. Just figured I would post here instead of going to the bar. :/
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Join Date: Nov 2015
Location: USA
Posts: 5,250
Originally Posted by Odelle
I went out earlier to pick up some Christmas decorations and then stopped at the grocery store on my way home. Bam, out of nowhere came the biggest craving ever. I battled it for a while and then conceded to buying a bottle of wine, no one home you know…. The internal battle continued, “I can’t fail another class; no one will know; you will know; once in a while is okay; no, it isn’t; you’ll have a headache tomorrow and will be so disappointed with yourself; yadda, yadda, yadda." I finally checked out sans the wine and rushed to my car. The incident triggered a tension headache and now my temples are throbbing! Dang, that was really close. I’m home, back in sweats and I am not leaving this house. 
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Join Date: Nov 2015
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Originally Posted by Odelle
Thank you for your support Healthygoals and Canguy, it really shook me to the core due to the intensity, and it just appeared with no obvious trigger. Beware the insidious AV, it lays in wait and strikes when its host is most vulnerable!
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Join Date: Nov 2015
Location: USA
Posts: 5,250
Originally Posted by enfinthechange
Well done for battling the craving, pretty cool! I went to aldi and had to close my eyes to walk through he booze bit.... but I got all my fave foods a small snacks and am.nkw eating profiteroles on the sofa.... have barely eaten all week so this is good○●• I am having very weird feelings about the guys I snogged last week, like totally obsessed with him. I wonder if my AV has substituted him for booze... I haven't wanted a drink, but have even considered messaging the guy. .. my husband isn't here, kids asleep. .. jeez, you'd think one bloody calamity was enough and one addiction! I wish I could take my brain out and bloody well wash it, iron it, and put it back clean!. Oh well, more tea and cakes... have a good weekend x
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Join Date: Jun 2014
Posts: 563
Hi, All! Evening check in.
Patricia, I hope you feel a bit better in the morning! Your body will appreciate the sleep
Denise, congratulations on one week!! Awesome milestone!
Blackbird, I'm glad you are okay. Thank goodness for seat belts!
Rah, glad you had a great day!
Sobermarathon, good luck with the race tomorrow! I'm looking forward to hearing how it goes.
Keepnitreal, I hope the party goes well tomorrow. I have also found myself acting drunk even when I wasn't - sometimes when you're around folks who are really drunk it's easy to just play along - without the hangover!
To everyone else, I hope your weekend is off to a good start! I had a good week because I was sober. I was able to take on some stressful and anxiety-inducing situations because I was sober. And I made it through! Sometimes I have to remind myself that everything will be okay. Not every situation will be comfortable but I will come out of it a stronger person.
Patricia, I hope you feel a bit better in the morning! Your body will appreciate the sleep
Denise, congratulations on one week!! Awesome milestone!
Blackbird, I'm glad you are okay. Thank goodness for seat belts!
Rah, glad you had a great day!
Sobermarathon, good luck with the race tomorrow! I'm looking forward to hearing how it goes.
Keepnitreal, I hope the party goes well tomorrow. I have also found myself acting drunk even when I wasn't - sometimes when you're around folks who are really drunk it's easy to just play along - without the hangover!
To everyone else, I hope your weekend is off to a good start! I had a good week because I was sober. I was able to take on some stressful and anxiety-inducing situations because I was sober. And I made it through! Sometimes I have to remind myself that everything will be okay. Not every situation will be comfortable but I will come out of it a stronger person.
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Join Date: Nov 2015
Location: USA
Posts: 5,250
Originally Posted by Odelle
Don't message him Enfin, it will only open a whole new can of worms! I'm beginning to think that the AV has demonic origins, why else would it try to convince us to do things that will only hurt us? The battle of good and evil since the beginning of mankind, only each of us has our own burden to carry. You are doing great Enfin, you'll get through this and come out a better person in the end.
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