Ladybug2

Hi class,

Day 3 and feeling less cranky today ... so far Hubby and I took the dog and kids for walk in the park this morning. I was sitting in the grass feeding my daughter, watching my older daughter and husband feed the ducks and thinking about how nice it felt to not be hungover. I wish I could remember that peaceful, happy feeling every time my AV shows up. It's just so nice to be able to enjoy the simple things in life without a buzz or foggy hangover.

Hope you are all doing well today and enjoying your Sunday. For those starting over it is so good to see you right back. Keep fighting. I have had more Day 1's than I can count.

BobBFree33

Welcome SamsWantsSober.

Starting day 9 sober today. I feel like I made it over my first "hump" which was 6 days. For me, the danger starts later when I actually start feeling better.

iam2antsy its happened to me too. Awakened in a panic at 3am just hating what I was doing to myself wondering why I keep doing it and wondering if I have some kind of self-destructive purpose in mind.

KeepingOn

Sorry to have been AWOL for the last few days. Took daughter on college visit Thursday/Friday, and have been preparing since then for a 3-day camping trip to Rocky Mtn NP. I'll try to catch up up there (leaving in a half hour)

We can do this!

KO

Plath

Good morning all (or afternoon, evening, etc)!

Checking in this morning and feeling pretty reasonable so far.

Day 7 for me, so I'm going to watch my complacency level tonight, and also my frustration level. Gardening helps, so maybe I'll try to do more of that today.

Best wishes to all for a healthy, sober day!

Marcellina

* day 12 * Checking in, haven't been checking in lately and having a lonely Sunday. Went to church, that helped. I hope everyone is hanging in there. Have been thinking about drinking a lot but have been able to drive those thoughts away somehow. This is the longest time I have been sober and I am really committed to sobriety this time. Sometimes I still feel sorry for myself, with all the rest going on in my life but it never helped me feel better except for a very short time and not always then either. I have so much to be grateful for that I am trying to keep that gratitude attitude as it seems to work for so many people. Hoping we can all do this class of July 2015

Bebrave

Hi all! Back on track after my Friday and Saturday slip. Two glasses of wine each night. I know what I did and I'm committed to stick to my plan.

Happy Sunday all.

Ironlady01

Hi all, day three of being sober after a year off the wagon.
I couldn't get a to see a doctor until this coming Tuesday so decided to go cold turkey. Felt nausea yesterday but slept well. I'm still using weed to get through the first week of alcohol as I am on no meds. I know it's not the best but it helps me sleep. I've got bad headaches and anxiety tonight.... I've got work in the morning so hope I can drag myself through that.
I went through a medical detox a few years ago for alcohol and had two years sobriety....

I would like to try the 12 steps but I'm too scared to go to AA in case I bump into someone from work.

Good luck to all else has stopped.

time4changeinWI

I was SCARED to death about going to AA. Felt great once I got over the fear. Going tonight to keep my spirits and resolve up on this journey. I really want to change, so I'm exhausting all of my options.i would suggest just dropping in to an open meeting. Or if you are serious, a closed meeting.

Ironlady01

Thanks for your reply. I would like to try AA. It's just having the courage to go to the first meeting.
I'm not religious at all so I didn't know if it was based on religion as I have had a look at the steps. I'm just not sure but I have no help at all with problem and have to keep the whole thing secret from everybody.

whiteturtle

Hey everyone, and welcome newcomers!

Antsy, I am SO happy to see you post again! I have been wondering about how you were doing. I'm sorry about the panic attack, especially in the middle of the night...everything seems worse and magnified at that time. Have you been drinking since you last posted? Do you know what brought on the panic attack? Feel free to write a novel on here! We will be happy to read and empathize and commisserate and support, whatever's going on.

Kind of a tough Sunday today. I have been feeling depressed today. I had tea and tried to write late last night, but I just got frustrated with myself and depressed. Seems it carried into today. I picked up the apartment, so the environment feels a lot better, although what it really needs is a good cleaning. I just don't have the energy for it.

I woke up at 5am this morning and had terribly painful diarrhea (I'm sure that's TMI, but oh well haha), the kind with sweating and extreme discomfort. I went back to bed after that around 8am and slept til 1pm. I think that's why I feel down. The day is pretty passed by.

I am now depressed and bored (lost interest in everything I've tried to do), which is a perfect combination for wine. I have to go to the store, too, to get milk and lightbulbs, things I need now for the week, and quarters for laundry. I am pretty nervous about the grocery store. I feel like I am going to cave. I know that's a bad attitude. Feeling so blah.

I will keep trying, even at the store. Wish me luck. I wish you all the best!

Plath

This day is becoming stressful, and full of triggers.

Not drinking will probably be a challenge today, but I'm happy that at least my husband knows what I'm doing, and is really supportive of it (in the sense that he's been wanting me to quit for a while).

Having some accountability in my immediate environment is super helpful.

I'm hormonal, and being around my mom and extended family for this long is a huge stressor for me. I basically don't agree with the way that my family thinks about most things, and I never have (hence the moving a healthy distance from them when I was 22 years old). Having to be around them for extended periods has never been productive for me in any way.

So I'm going to do everything I can to find other beverages that feel like a relaxing treat throughout the day and evening, as that does seem to help.
I suppose I'll have to sort out my family stuff after I'm able to physically get further away from them.


Apologies if these posts are becoming tedious and/or repetitive. However, if I don't blurt this crap out somewhere, it will easily give me an excuse to drink.

I know it can be exasperating when people can't seem to get past something, but I'm sort of stuck with this irritant for right now, and I don't have a therapist at the moment. So you guys are my stand-ins, lol. You're welcome.

KaleGrrl

Busy day today and AV was kicking later on for some reason and I reiterated in my mind that drinking's not an option, that I've taken choice out of the picture. It also helps to just busy myself with other things and thoughts, and be grateful for blessings, looking forward to my future.
Another thing is that when I'm feeling rather tired or overwhelmed with things, the AV pops up to suggest that I'd have much more fun and relief with just a couple of drinks, and then just stop right there. But when the craving passes, the negative feelings pass and I look forward to having a much more rich life that includes fun without drinking. Just have to pursue it. It's a wily thing, the AV. It takes continued determination and some patience.
Wishing everyone a sober week ahead. Even if you messed up this weekend, you can kick the AV to the cage without fear and go forward with confidence.

BobBFree33

I eat something before I go to the store, even if its junk.

I'm feeling a little craving now myself as I had to be on my feet at my burned out worksite and throw away tens of thousands of dollars of stuff. Having my Dr. Pepper and I have food to eat before I go to the store later.

time4changeinWI

IronLady, don't let the religious part scare you. I just would say that you need to believe in something more than the bottle. For me, the letting go and accepting that I can't change/control everything resonated with me. I would suggest googling AA meetings near (wherever you live). Maybe it isn't for you, but the 12 steps seem to make sense to me. Let me know if you go and what your experience was. Rooting for you!

whiteturtle

*EXHALE*

I did not buy wine!! I bought milk, lightbulbs, chips (something to munch on to distract), batteries...got to the wine. I stood right in front of it, and put down my basket. I opened my phone and read the posts on here that people had just put up, feeling the same as me, being tempted and craving just as badly. I took a deep breath, and stared at the bottle of wine...and realized that no, I don't want that today. I picked up my basket, turned around, and marched over to the pop aisle to get Coke instead. I am extremely proud of myself (which is not something I say lightly, especially when I'm in a depressed mood). It's such a little thing, to just not buy something at the store, but for us, it's huge. I still can't believe, sitting here at home, with dinner in the oven, that I managed to ignore the AV.

As a dental hygienist, I am disappointed and worried that I am replacing wine with Coke a lot lately, since I know what frequent pop intake does to the teeth. I figure, though, cavities (if I get them) are a hell of a lot better than total organ failures down the road, right??

Such a good idea, BobBFree! I didn't do that this time, but I definitely will next time. Anything to help.

So now, I have chicken in the oven. I am going to pour a glass of Coke on the rocks and sit down to watch Archer (I decided to rewatch from the very beginning; a lot of you have mentioned that watching something funny really helps to take the cravings down). I can't believe it!

If you are tempted and in a dark place of craving, just remember me staring at the bottle of wine in the store (to very strange looks from passerby, I'm sure). If I can look right at it and say no, with all my lack of self-control and addictive personality, then I have very high hopes for all of you!! Haha.

whiteturtle

This made a lot of sense to me, and inspired me to Google meetings near me. I have never before really considered AA, but there have been so many positive outcomes for people here. IronLady, I am also not religious (raised Catholic, but agnostic now), but what time4change said about believing in something more than the bottle...that makes sense to me.

Plath

I personally loathe the idea of poisoning myself with aspartame, but I've been drinking a ton of Diet Coke lately, instead of beer. I also dislike the idea of drinking stuff with dye in it, but I figure it's better to drink Vitamin Water than beer or wine.

Sometimes, whatever it takes works, even if it's not our ideal thing. It's better than the alternative!

I even drink coffee or iced tea in the evenings, at the risk of being up too late, because it helps me feel as though I'm having some sort of enjoyable beverage to "relax" to (yes, I understand the irony of "relaxing" to coffee or iced tea).

Whatever it takes!

Dee74

Welcome Applejack and Owlie

Have a good sober holiday James

Some great recovery going on here guys

D

time4changeinWI

I hear you on the soda. I decided to make some juice and then dilute it with sparkling water/club soda. I like the fizz and I'm not drinking all that sugar. It seems to help fwiw.

BobBFree33

I actually had given up all soft drinks before I tried to get sober. Weirdly enough, since soda's are now classified as "bad" that makes it a more attractive replacement! I'm only drinking one DR. Pepper a day. On the topic of what's "good" and "bad" I have a pet peeve. I'm a runner and one of the most popular new fads is "pub runs". A bunch of people get together, run a few miles and then drink a bunch of beer at the pub you run to. They've convinced themselves that beer is a "healthy" fluid to drink to replenish after a hard run. That's such BS since alcohol is dehydrating. The local running stores charge admission, call it "healthy" and make a profit off people's gullibility. I know, as a drunk I'm prejudiced but their are no scientific studies claiming alcohol is suitable to re-hydrate. ....Anyway...sorry, off my soapbox now....

And great job whiteturtle!