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Class of March 2015 Part 5

Old 05-26-2015, 03:07 PM
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Originally Posted by happytobealive1 View Post
Thanks, Dee! And thanks for the advice, mystified. I think I'm deciding to go the safe route, because it has a lot of good things going for it---living with others, guaranteed housing + job (vs. applying for something new and trying to find my own apartment), closer to family, no car needed, fewer hours at work (so not up for 9-11 hour workdays! 8 is all I can handle), plenty of resources for both fun and social support around. My dream will still be there next year (gd willing!), and hopefully by then I will be stronger, calmer, and more capable of facing the world. I finally feel good---or at least calm---about this choice, so I think I am going to go for it. Hoping it will work out!
I'd have to agree with Mystified, Happy but be cautious (very cautious) of any additional stress. Last year I was pushing and pushing myself to take the LSAT and studying intense hours on top of working full time and trying to get and stay sober. Two months into studying, I relapsed after 6 months sober and didn't get back on the wagon for a month. Then I went in to take it 2 months and choked. The perceived feeling of failure led me to another relapse, one of my worst yet.

I came here and everyone helped me realize that staying sober had to be my first priority. It's hard enough to stay sober as it is let while you're working on your dream! I now have the attitude that the LSAT/law school (my dream) will still be there in a year after I've achieved 365 days of sobriety. But if I don't learn how to get sober first, my dream might never come to fruition.

But again, it depends on how much stress this may add to your life and sometimes having something like your dream to work towards can help motivate you to stay sober! You've got a good head on your shoulders - you'll figure it out Happy, I'm sure of it! We are all here for you every step of the way!
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Old 05-26-2015, 03:12 PM
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Originally Posted by mystified View Post
Day 70 here. Feeling just fine about that!
Congrats on day 70 Mystified! That's awesome! How's the weather by you? Or anyone else for that matter? It's a nasty 70 degrees with 75% humidity here today. Days like today I am SO glad I'm not drinking - I'd feel gross and sweaty all night!

Have an awesome evening everyone
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Old 05-27-2015, 11:24 AM
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Stress: I get saddled with projects and tasks I do not want to do in the first place; I am tired of the stress of having to dig to find willpower to face these activities.

Trying to start a new life composed of activities I would like to do is stressful also, due to the failure possibility of an untested path.

Mel
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Old 05-27-2015, 11:31 AM
  # 284 (permalink)  
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Originally Posted by SpiritOfDjinn View Post
I have to agree Kafka. I think the NA beer would be a HUGE temptation to moving back into real alcohol.
Epic fail story: I had a friend who switched to NA beer as a way to quit. He told me how great NA beer was, how he was able to continue socializing, and the rest of it.

I then did not hear from him for a long time. Much later, he told me he had been away in prison serving a term for striking and severely injuring someone with his car while he was drunk.
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Old 05-27-2015, 03:58 PM
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Originally Posted by Mel12 View Post
Epic fail story: I had a friend who switched to NA beer as a way to quit. He told me how great NA beer was, how he was able to continue socializing, and the rest of it. I then did not hear from him for a long time. Much later, he told me he had been away in prison serving a term for striking and severely injuring someone with his car while he was drunk.
Omg! That is crazy! And also terrifying. I'm definitely staying away.

Today has been a rough day. I woke up at 4AM to go to the gym before heading to the city for a long day at work despite being sleep deprived. After working through my lunch, I ended up having to stay late. I missed my train and the place I was going to pick up food from after realizing I missed my train was closed. I have officially been out of the house for 14 hours and another 2 until I'm home. I sometimes feel like every time I try to do something good for myself (such as waking up early to go running) it blows up in my face. My saving grace has been the fact that the liquor store in the train station was closed today. I honestly don't know what I would have done if it had been open. I don't trust myself today. So I am going straight home. I'm going to find an AA meeting this evening and hopefully go for another jog. Some days I think I've got it all figured out. Others I'm surprised by how fragile it all is.
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Old 05-27-2015, 07:58 PM
  # 286 (permalink)  
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Oh wow, Kafka. Just reading about your day has me exhausted! Glad you had the resiliency to get through it ok. And yeah, isn't it weird how much resiliency/vulnerability fluctuate? I feel like I have an internal barometer that swings from one end to the other several times every day.
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Old 05-27-2015, 10:34 PM
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Checking in on Day 88. Had a fun camping trip. Congrats to everyone for staying with it.

I don't think NA beer is a good idea.

Does anyone know what goes good with club soda? I am looking for some new NA drinks. Thanks.
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Old 05-28-2015, 12:56 AM
  # 288 (permalink)  
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Day 74
First got sober in 2012. Chronic retread. Clinically depressed.
Hello everyone.
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Old 05-28-2015, 06:09 AM
  # 289 (permalink)  
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Originally Posted by Mel12 View Post

Epic fail story: I had a friend who switched to NA beer as a way to quit. He told me how great NA beer was, how he was able to continue socializing, and the rest of it.

I then did not hear from him for a long time. Much later, he told me he had been away in prison serving a term for striking and severely injuring someone with his car while he was drunk.
Wow. That's a scary prospect. I'm sorry to hear that. But then again, it gives some insight for us all.
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Old 05-28-2015, 06:12 AM
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Originally Posted by Kafkaesque View Post

Omg! That is crazy! And also terrifying. I'm definitely staying away.

Today has been a rough day. I woke up at 4AM to go to the gym before heading to the city for a long day at work despite being sleep deprived. After working through my lunch, I ended up having to stay late. I missed my train and the place I was going to pick up food from after realizing I missed my train was closed. I have officially been out of the house for 14 hours and another 2 until I'm home. I sometimes feel like every time I try to do something good for myself (such as waking up early to go running) it blows up in my face. My saving grace has been the fact that the liquor store in the train station was closed today. I honestly don't know what I would have done if it had been open. I don't trust myself today. So I am going straight home. I'm going to find an AA meeting this evening and hopefully go for another jog. Some days I think I've got it all figured out. Others I'm surprised by how fragile it all is.
Fragile indeed! The whole process is like a crazy rollercoaster ride from hell. It seems like one second life is great and you're at the top of the world and the next thing you know you've hut rock bottom again and AV is on a soapbox with a megaphone. It seems like you're dealing fairly well though. Going to meetings, going jogging, coming here to post, etc. Just remember, AV can't win if you don't give in and we are always here for you.
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Old 05-28-2015, 06:15 AM
  # 291 (permalink)  
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Originally Posted by AmbassadorOf View Post
Day 74
First got sober in 2012. Chronic retread. Clinically depressed.
Hello everyone.
Welcome to the March 2015 class Ambassador. 74 days is an awesome achievement. I haven't made it that far yet. Got to 35 days my last go round and fell off the wagon and into the fire. I'm not at day 46 and going strong this time. Anyway, I hope you will find the March group as welcoming and supportive as I have. Again, welcome!
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Old 05-28-2015, 06:30 AM
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Originally Posted by Kafkaesque View Post
My saving grace has been the fact that the liquor store in the train station was closed today. I honestly don't know what I would have done if it had been open. I don't trust myself today. So I am going straight home.
Hi Kafka,

Thank you for your messages. I hope things go well for you this weekend. I can identify with what you say:

A Deathmarch Day (such as you describe) I would use as an excuse to grab martinis. With that habit history, I really have to watch it in the late afternoons!

Now, as crazy as it is, I schedule the gym first and then schedule everything else around it. That is because whenever I skip the gym I experience significantly greater stress which . . . you guessed it . . . I can use as an excuse to grab martinis.

In short, given my avoidance of socializing, my neurosis about staying underscheduled, and my postponement of big decisions, I would say I am still in a transition period.

Mel
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Old 05-28-2015, 06:32 AM
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Originally Posted by AmbassadorOf View Post
Day 74
First got sober in 2012. Chronic retread. Clinically depressed.
Hello everyone.
Glad to hear about the 74 days, Ambassador. Your body is really getting a chance to heal, I would guess. Thank you for entering the list. I will keep an eye out for messages from you.

Mel
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Old 05-28-2015, 06:48 AM
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Originally Posted by SpiritOfDjinn View Post
Wow. That's a scary prospect. I'm sorry to hear that. But then again, it gives some insight for us all.
The good news: My friend who was in prison for striking the girl with his car is doing well in that after prison he got married and landed a job he likes very much.

The bad news: He is DESTROYED WITH GUILT OVER HAVING HURT SOMEONE. When he talks of it, his body literally starts shuddering with involuntary vibrations, and then he starts repeating how sorry he is over and over again, as if he has worn a deep groove with the mental torment burned into his brain.

I do not know what recovery method (if any) he uses or used. He always was an animal and nature lover with religious interests. You can probably guess that he would have major problems coping with the guilt from severely hurting an innocent person. I am going to call him just to say hello, come to think of it. Though much time has passed, I bet we still have a lot in common.

Mel
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Old 05-28-2015, 07:40 AM
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Hello Ambassador! Welcome to the March class.

Deathmarch Day, Mel? I like that phrase. I hope your friend is doing ok!

Hanging in ok over here. Got stuck in the house yesterday at my computer (does that happen to anyone? getting stuck in a semi-depressed unproductive fugue? I just couldn't manage to go or do anything yesterday, so...I didn't. Which is ok because I'm on vacation right now, but it feels pretty awful.) So I'm going to volunteer at a local school today just to make sure that I get out of the house and do something. On the plus side, although it's sticky with heat these days, I have been able to go for a few nice runs and do some crafts which always does wonders for my mental health. About to go on a cleaning rampage right now...anyone heard of this great site?
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Old 05-28-2015, 07:45 AM
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This thread is for people who sobriety date is in March right? It seems that some people have a sobriety date in a different month who are on this thread.
Also, today I am full of rage and hate, so lovely. Did something ffffed up last night. Can I say f--k on here? Anyways it's hard to make amends when I'm full of anxiety and low on motivation from being depressed.
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Old 05-28-2015, 08:37 AM
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Checking in at 85 days! Wanted to give you an update. My new job is going okay, I've been there 2 months now. As you know, my dog passed away a month ago and in looking to fill the huge hole in our hearts, we just got a new puppy. what a lot of work! But so full of cuteness and innocence. (and a lot of work!!)

So glad to still be with this group heading towards June. You guys have been so supportive, I can't thank you enough!
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Old 05-28-2015, 08:40 AM
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Originally Posted by happytobealive1 View Post
Hello Ambassador! Welcome to the March class.

Deathmarch Day, Mel? I like that phrase. I hope your friend is doing ok!

Hanging in ok over here. Got stuck in the house yesterday at my computer (does that happen to anyone? getting stuck in a semi-depressed unproductive fugue? I just couldn't manage to go or do anything yesterday, so...I didn't. Which is ok because I'm on vacation right now, but it feels pretty awful.) So I'm going to volunteer at a local school today just to make sure that I get out of the house and do something. On the plus side, although it's sticky with heat these days, I have been able to go for a few nice runs and do some crafts which always does wonders for my mental health. About to go on a cleaning rampage right now...anyone heard of this great site?
I liked the site you suggested. I've been trying to unf*ck my habitat for awhile now and yet it seems like that crap keeps sneaking back into my house. I need to unload, unburden myself of my possessions!
Let me know how your cleaning rampage worked out!
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Old 05-28-2015, 09:18 AM
  # 299 (permalink)  
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Originally Posted by happytobealive1 View Post
Hello Ambassador! Welcome to the March class.

Deathmarch Day, Mel? I like that phrase. I hope your friend is doing ok!

Hanging in ok over here. Got stuck in the house yesterday at my computer (does that happen to anyone? getting stuck in a semi-depressed unproductive fugue? I just couldn't manage to go or do anything yesterday, so...I didn't. Which is ok because I'm on vacation right now, but it feels pretty awful.) So I'm going to volunteer at a local school today just to make sure that I get out of the house and do something. On the plus side, although it's sticky with heat these days, I have been able to go for a few nice runs and do some crafts which always does wonders for my mental health. About to go on a cleaning rampage right now...anyone heard of this great site?
Hey happy! Glad to hear you're staying positive! That can be a hard thing to do at times. I often find that a cleaning spree helps improve my mood as well. Especially when you take it all in a d fully realize what you've accomplished.
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Old 05-28-2015, 09:20 AM
  # 300 (permalink)  
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Originally Posted by AmbassadorOf View Post
This thread is for people who sobriety date is in March right? It seems that some people have a sobriety date in a different month who are on this thread.
Also, today I am full of rage and hate, so lovely. Did something ffffed up last night. Can I say f--k on here? Anyways it's hard to make amends when I'm full of anxiety and low on motivation from being depressed.
So, it is intended for folks whose sobriety dates were in March. However, some of us have relapsed and so our dates have been reset. BUT, we still come together here to support and encourage each other. As for the F-bombs, mostly it's avoided but I'm sure if it slips out, you won't offend anyone too terribly.
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