Blogs


Notices

Class of March 2015 Part 5

Old 05-09-2015, 09:01 AM
  # 201 (permalink)  
Member
 
Sisterbobby's Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 2014
Location: USA
Posts: 786
Originally Posted by Kafkaesque View Post
And so all of that obsessing makes me feel like I'm a dry drunk. Some days I don't think about drinking at all or for more than a few minutes. But the rest of the time I worry. I don't want to be a dry drunk. I genuinely want to recover.
what exactly is a dry drunk? I have heard this expression before. Some say there is no just thing and some say differently.

I think you need to give yourself credit especially when the credit is due and it is totally overdue. Please do not self label yourself as a dry drunk.
Stop the 'you're darned if you do and you're darned if you don't' thinking. Making changes is difficult and making that change a way of life is nothing more then a miracle.
Sisterbobby is offline  
The Following 6 Users Say Thank You to Sisterbobby For This Useful Post:
Kafkaesque (05-09-2015), Mvngon (05-11-2015), mystified (05-09-2015), NikTes (05-12-2015), secretary (05-09-2015)
Old 05-09-2015, 02:07 PM
  # 202 (permalink)  
Member
 
Join Date: Oct 2014
Posts: 237
Originally Posted by Sisterbobby View Post
what exactly is a dry drunk? I have heard this expression before. Some say there is no just thing and some say differently. I think you need to give yourself credit especially when the credit is due and it is totally overdue. Please do not self label yourself as a dry drunk. Stop the 'you're darned if you do and you're darned if you don't' thinking. Making changes is difficult and making that change a way of life is nothing more then a miracle.
You're right about my misuse of 'everyone'. I had another thread where I was posting about my fears of this happy hour we have coming up at work (Bobcat, the happy hour was postponed until Wednesday. I'm actually glad though because it gave me more time to evaluate the situation and relax about the whole thing! Thank you for asking ) but I even posted on there that I always assume EVERYONE is drinking and after the train filled up I realized like 5 out of 75 people were drinking. The rest weren't. It hit me like a slap in the face that I was obsessing on what a minority of people were doing and as soon as I recognized that I finally relaxed.

A dry drunk is someone who is sober in the literal sense but is still obsessing over drinking and hasn't moved on mentally/emotionally from drinking.

Thank you everyone for the encouragement. I was feeling super depressed yesterday but I saw my doctor this morning and he changed my medication. I guess the one I was on causes drastic mood swings and that combined with my trigger of seeing people drinking just led me to an emotional breakdown. Thank you all for your support everyone. I really appreciate it. I don't know what I would do without you all.
Kafkaesque is offline  
The Following 6 Users Say Thank You to Kafkaesque For This Useful Post:
Mvngon (05-11-2015), mystified (05-09-2015), NikTes (05-12-2015), secretary (05-10-2015), Sisterbobby (05-09-2015)
Old 05-09-2015, 02:18 PM
  # 203 (permalink)  
Member
 
Join Date: Oct 2014
Posts: 237
Originally Posted by Dee74 View Post
Thats a very common thing, especially at the stage though Kafkaesque We drank, and obsessed about drinking, for years - it's gonna take a little time for that to break up. It's also still very common to do some internal bargaining as well - maybe if I did this, I'd...' Recovery and change are processes rather than events. I was like a yo yo for 3 months or so. Then thiongs started to settle and I got some traction... don;t leave before the miracle happens , as they say in AA. Right now you could be right where you need to be D
You're right Dee. Thank you for the reassurance. I'm definitely a yo yo lately I go back and forth between my good days and my bad days. I'm not going anywhere though, I'm staying right here. I genuinely feel a lot better now be I may feel differently tomorrow, but for the time being I'm happy and I'm proud I stayed sober last night despite the temptation Thank you so much for your help!
Kafkaesque is offline  
The Following 6 Users Say Thank You to Kafkaesque For This Useful Post:
Mvngon (05-11-2015), mystified (05-09-2015), NikTes (05-12-2015), secretary (05-10-2015), Sisterbobby (05-09-2015)
Old 05-09-2015, 02:22 PM
  # 204 (permalink)  
Member
 
Join Date: Oct 2014
Posts: 237
Originally Posted by secretary View Post
Congrats on 61 days, that is a HUGE accomplishment!! But I certainly know what you mean about the depression. It has been a long week and I hope you have a great weekend! You are doing great!
Thank you Secretary! It was a long week but today is much better. Congratulations on your 70 days!! That's an awesome accomplishment, too! It's hard dealing with the dramatic feelings lately but I'm hopeful for a long lasting happiness that will be accompanied by sobriety! We are over halfway to triple digits, right? Thank you for the support!!
Kafkaesque is offline  
The Following 6 Users Say Thank You to Kafkaesque For This Useful Post:
Mvngon (05-11-2015), mystified (05-09-2015), NikTes (05-12-2015), secretary (05-10-2015), Sisterbobby (05-09-2015)
Old 05-09-2015, 11:52 PM
  # 205 (permalink)  
One day at a time.
 
SpiritOfDjinn's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2015
Location: Nowhere, USA
Posts: 340
Just wanted to share this thought I had earlier. My mention of religion is only included because it's what started the line of thinking.

Ya know, I was just wondering if when "a certain book" says not to judge, that includes judging ourselves. I mean don't we pass judgment on ourselves based on the same ****** up measurements the rest of the world uses? Kind of like the saying "Don't worry about what other ppl think of you, it's none of your damn business anyway."

I hope that my mention of religion has not offended anyone. I DO HOPE that some of you who are having some self doubt and feeling low, can find some peace.
SpiritOfDjinn is offline  
The Following 8 Users Say Thank You to SpiritOfDjinn For This Useful Post:
Dee74 (05-09-2015), Kafkaesque (05-10-2015), Mvngon (05-11-2015), mystified (05-10-2015), NikTes (05-12-2015), secretary (05-10-2015), Sisterbobby (05-10-2015)
Old 05-10-2015, 07:41 AM
  # 206 (permalink)  
Member
 
secretary's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2013
Location: Midwest
Posts: 354
Happy Mother's Day to all our Marcher Moms! Let's give ourselves a big round of applause for being such great moms!!!
secretary is offline  
The Following 8 Users Say Thank You to secretary For This Useful Post:
Dee74 (05-13-2015), Kafkaesque (05-10-2015), Mvngon (05-11-2015), mystified (05-10-2015), NikTes (05-12-2015), Pouncer (05-10-2015), Sisterbobby (05-10-2015)
Old 05-10-2015, 08:01 AM
  # 207 (permalink)  
Member
 
Bobcat17's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2015
Location: Arizona
Posts: 111
Random comments:

At 71 days, I don't obsess about drinking, but still think about it.

Djinn: I agree with your comments on judgment 100%.

Happy Mothers Day to the Moms in our group.

About to leave for a family gathering. Will probably be stressful, but praying it goes well.
Bobcat17 is offline  
The Following 8 Users Say Thank You to Bobcat17 For This Useful Post:
Kafkaesque (05-10-2015), Mvngon (05-11-2015), mystified (05-10-2015), NikTes (05-12-2015), Pouncer (05-10-2015), secretary (05-11-2015), Sisterbobby (05-10-2015)
Old 05-10-2015, 08:21 AM
  # 208 (permalink)  
Member
 
Join Date: Oct 2014
Posts: 237
Originally Posted by Kafkaesque View Post
Thank you Secretary! It was a long week but today is much better. Congratulations on your 70 days!! That's an awesome accomplishment, too! It's hard dealing with the dramatic feelings lately but I'm hopeful for a long lasting happiness that will be accompanied by sobriety! We are over halfway to triple digits, right? Thank you for the support!!
I just realized I meant to say thank you go both Secretary and Bobcat in this post! Sorry about that, I feel embarrassed

I second the Happy Mother's Day to the moms in the March group I'm not a mother yet, but I'm excited to spend the day celebrating my mom who has been my rock and support!

Bobcat, I hope your day goes well and ends up not being stressful!

Have a great Sunday and Mother's Day everyone!
Kafkaesque is offline  
The Following 8 Users Say Thank You to Kafkaesque For This Useful Post:
Dee74 (05-13-2015), Mvngon (05-11-2015), mystified (05-10-2015), NikTes (05-12-2015), Pouncer (05-10-2015), secretary (05-11-2015), Sisterbobby (05-10-2015)
Old 05-10-2015, 08:26 AM
  # 209 (permalink)  
Member
 
Join Date: Oct 2014
Posts: 237
Originally Posted by SpiritOfDjinn View Post
Just wanted to share this thought I had earlier. My mention of religion is only included because it's what started the line of thinking. Ya know, I was just wondering if when "a certain book" says not to judge, that includes judging ourselves. I mean don't we pass judgment on ourselves based on the same ****** up measurements the rest of the world uses? Kind of like the saying "Don't worry about what other ppl think of you, it's none of your damn business anyway." I hope that my mention of religion has not offended anyone. I DO HOPE that some of you who are having some self doubt and feeling low, can find some peace.
Spirit, no offense taken!! I think you're completely right about passing judgment on ourselves and how that feeling of self doubt just makes staying sober that much harder because we feel bad about ourselves, and what is easier: finding a way to feel better about ourselves or numbing the feelings completely. I'm really trying to learn to be more accepting of myself and of others. I'm trying to find inner peace and I've been reading a lot of Buddha's quotes. Thanks for the words of wisdom, Spirit This helped me more than you'll know!
Kafkaesque is offline  
The Following 7 Users Say Thank You to Kafkaesque For This Useful Post:
Dee74 (05-13-2015), Mvngon (05-11-2015), mystified (05-10-2015), NikTes (05-12-2015), secretary (05-11-2015), Sisterbobby (05-10-2015)
Old 05-10-2015, 09:36 AM
  # 210 (permalink)  
Member
 
Sisterbobby's Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 2014
Location: USA
Posts: 786
Originally Posted by SpiritOfDjinn View Post
I hope that my mention of religion has not offended anyone. I DO HOPE that some of you who are having some self doubt and feeling low, can find some peace.
Ok, when did you mention an offensive religious statement. i looked back and I am in awe...

I was raised a lutheran and I do have very strong religious beliefs and i find myself praying my heart out on many occasions.
Sisterbobby is offline  
The Following 6 Users Say Thank You to Sisterbobby For This Useful Post:
Dee74 (05-13-2015), Mvngon (05-11-2015), mystified (05-10-2015), NikTes (05-12-2015), secretary (05-11-2015)
Old 05-10-2015, 01:34 PM
  # 211 (permalink)  
Member
 
Pouncer's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2015
Posts: 1,211
Blog Entries: 2
Checking in on day 24-ish. I just wanted to drop by to say that I am still here and still stone cold sober.

I haven't been around over the last two days so that I could deal with some PTSD issues. I got new medications from my p. doc, saw him on friday, and am now looking for a new therapist - someone who specializes in trauma.

Things are going really well with my husband, too. We are taking that one day at a time as well.

I hope everyone has a happy mothers day.
Pouncer is offline  
The Following 7 Users Say Thank You to Pouncer For This Useful Post:
Dee74 (05-13-2015), Mvngon (05-11-2015), mystified (05-10-2015), NikTes (05-12-2015), secretary (05-11-2015), Sisterbobby (05-10-2015)
Old 05-10-2015, 09:14 PM
  # 212 (permalink)  
Member
 
Sisterbobby's Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 2014
Location: USA
Posts: 786
Originally Posted by Pouncer View Post
I haven't been around over the last two days so that I could deal with some PTSD issues. I got new medications from my p. doc, saw him on friday, and am now looking for a new therapist - someone who specializes in trauma.
Whats up Pouncer?
Sisterbobby is offline  
The Following 5 Users Say Thank You to Sisterbobby For This Useful Post:
Dee74 (05-13-2015), Mvngon (05-11-2015), mystified (05-10-2015), NikTes (05-12-2015)
Old 05-10-2015, 11:11 PM
  # 213 (permalink)  
love is the answer
 
mystified's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2014
Location: UK
Posts: 1,352
Blog Entries: 10
Originally Posted by Pouncer View Post
Things are going really well with my husband, too. We are taking that one day at a time as well.
Really happy to hear this pouncer.

I've been lurking rather than posting. Life has got a bit 'samey' and I'm on guard for the av as I'm periodically feeling bored with things. I've also noticed some complaining creeping into my conversations with others.

And there's this simmering anger which sometimes explodes into a seething rage. For no logical reason. I'm not a nice person to be around sometimes.

Just stream of consciousness talk guys.

Any book or website suggestions for not being a bitch?
mystified is offline  
The Following 6 Users Say Thank You to mystified For This Useful Post:
Dee74 (05-13-2015), Mvngon (05-11-2015), NikTes (05-12-2015), secretary (05-11-2015), Sisterbobby (05-14-2015)
Old 05-12-2015, 07:38 AM
  # 214 (permalink)  
Member
 
NikTes's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2015
Posts: 687
Originally Posted by mystified View Post
Really happy to hear this pouncer.

I've been lurking rather than posting. Life has got a bit 'samey' and I'm on guard for the av as I'm periodically feeling bored with things. I've also noticed some complaining creeping into my conversations with others.

And there's this simmering anger which sometimes explodes into a seething rage. For no logical reason. I'm not a nice person to be around sometimes.

Just stream of consciousness talk guys.

Any book or website suggestions for not being a bitch?
I hear ya, mystified. Thanks heaps for the laugh from your last line. That's the first time I've laughed in days. My rage might be stemming from finally seeing how things actually work around here in my life. Many BIG changes still need to be made. I need to start asserting my needs a bit better. (Always trying please others and be a peacekeeper before protecting myself.) Also many of my complaints and anger seem to be tied to feelings of hopelessness. Working on that too... How to not dwell on the past. How not to worry about the future.
NikTes is offline  
The Following 6 Users Say Thank You to NikTes For This Useful Post:
Dee74 (05-13-2015), Mvngon (05-13-2015), mystified (05-12-2015), secretary (05-12-2015), Sisterbobby (05-14-2015)
Old 05-12-2015, 08:07 AM
  # 215 (permalink)  
Member
 
secretary's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2013
Location: Midwest
Posts: 354
Originally Posted by NikTes View Post
I Many BIG changes still need to be made. I need to start asserting my needs a bit better. (Always trying please others and be a peacekeeper before protecting myself.) Also many of my complaints and anger seem to be tied to feelings of hopelessness. Working on that too... How to not dwell on the past. How not to worry about the future.

Totally get that. I just can't deal with the husband any more and I have totally withdrawn from him, not speaking, just kind of cohabitating in the same house. We haven't slept in the same room for years (he has sleep apnea), we don't eat or watch TV together. And lately I see how negative he is to me, no matter what I say to him, so I slowly started to withdraw, and the funny thing is, I don't feel so sad anymore!! How weird is that?
secretary is offline  
The Following 6 Users Say Thank You to secretary For This Useful Post:
Dee74 (05-13-2015), Mvngon (05-13-2015), mystified (05-12-2015), NikTes (05-12-2015), Sisterbobby (05-14-2015)
Old 05-12-2015, 08:10 AM
  # 216 (permalink)  
Member
 
secretary's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2013
Location: Midwest
Posts: 354
I don't seem to miss drinking as much anymore, except when we are out at a restaurant. But yesterday I remembered how when I was drinking, I used to have anxiety in the pit of my stomach 24/7 and I realized I haven't had that feeling in a long time! And that made me happy. I guess it's true, it's the small things that can make you happy.
secretary is offline  
The Following 6 Users Say Thank You to secretary For This Useful Post:
Dee74 (05-13-2015), Mvngon (05-13-2015), mystified (05-12-2015), NikTes (05-12-2015), Sisterbobby (05-14-2015)
Old 05-12-2015, 09:46 AM
  # 217 (permalink)  
Member
 
NikTes's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2015
Posts: 687
secretary, we're living parallel lives! right down to the husband's sleep apnea and separate beds. and me too about the anxiety. it has really dissipated. what a relief. I'm still gobsmacked with the realization that it was the booze/morning withdrawal which was causing the chronic state of it! I haven't had that morning wine in months now. really starting to see my alcoholism for what it was -- and how much it was affecting my day to day life, in unexpected ways. hooray for small things! which do become big things over time...
NikTes is offline  
The Following 6 Users Say Thank You to NikTes For This Useful Post:
Dee74 (05-13-2015), Mvngon (05-13-2015), mystified (05-12-2015), secretary (05-13-2015), Sisterbobby (05-14-2015)
Old 05-13-2015, 03:20 PM
  # 218 (permalink)  
Member
 
Join Date: Oct 2014
Posts: 237
Hi everyone looks like we've all been busy lately as there hasn't been much discussion going on the last few days. Today is day 66 for me. I'm nervous about going to a happy hour after work but I have the entire thing planned out and will be ordering a coke and leaving after an hour. I don't know why I'm so nervous, I feel like I'm going crazy (then again, maybe I am- my mood swings have been so volatile lately I can't even predict how I'm going to feel or react to certain things anymore!)

Anyways I'm just venting. I feel like my mood swings are starting to interfere in my life and I'm desperate to make them stop. I'm going to be going to sleep extra early tonight to see if going running before work in the mornings helps.

How's everyone else doing?
Kafkaesque is offline  
The Following 5 Users Say Thank You to Kafkaesque For This Useful Post:
Dee74 (05-13-2015), Mvngon (05-16-2015), mystified (05-14-2015), secretary (05-13-2015), Sisterbobby (05-14-2015)
Old 05-13-2015, 03:34 PM
  # 219 (permalink)  
One day at a time.
 
SpiritOfDjinn's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2015
Location: Nowhere, USA
Posts: 340
Well Kafka, I can tell you, running has helped me in the past. It's a good way to shed some stress and bring your mood up.

I'm on day 31 today I think. Having a hard go of it today too. So many moving pieces lately with my job, my family, moving and going back to school to get my Bachelor's. 3 steps forward and 2 steps back, every day, for the past 3 months.

It's taking its toll and I keep finding myself thinking about a drink. It hasn't been this bad for awhile. I know that alcohol most certainly WON'T make things better and I keep telling myself that too. AV is just on a soapbox with a megaphone today... If AV was a real person, I'd tackle him to the ground and beat his good for nothing face in... How do I do that mentally?
SpiritOfDjinn is offline  
The Following 6 Users Say Thank You to SpiritOfDjinn For This Useful Post:
Dee74 (05-13-2015), Kafkaesque (05-13-2015), Mvngon (05-16-2015), mystified (05-14-2015), secretary (05-13-2015), Sisterbobby (05-14-2015)
Old 05-13-2015, 04:26 PM
  # 220 (permalink)  
Administrator
Thread Starter
 
Dee74's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 189,146
Blog Entries: 1
Have you looked into AVRT Djinn?

D
Dee74 is offline  
The Following 4 Users Say Thank You to Dee74 For This Useful Post:
Kafkaesque (05-13-2015), Mvngon (05-16-2015), mystified (05-14-2015), Sisterbobby (05-14-2015)

Currently Active Users Viewing this Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
 
Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are Off




All times are GMT -7. The time now is 06:01 AM.