Soliloquy

I did it. I asked my husband to try and make sure that they stay no longer than Sunday.

Before he came home, right after my last entry, I finally broke down and went into my bathroom and cried (my daughter was watching a movie in my bedroom) No less than 5 minutes later my mother in law came knocking on my door.I quickly had to rinse my face off with cold water and collect myself. I decided that I must do what Freein suggested. He was very understanding and thanked me for "hanging in there". They have all gone to the lake, except my little mommy's girl. Now I get to clean my house in peace. All of this clutter is driving me insane.

Lucrezia

That's great, Soli. I know it takes a lot of courage to do that...

Soliloquy

Thanks Lucrezia. I feel much much better

Applekat

Well done Solil. So come Sunday (morning) you can take a big, deep breath and give yourself a huge pat on the back. And THEN...you can really move forward. Truly begin to experience your sober life. Paint, exercise, breath, and enjoy yourself and your life! Don't dwell on the visit. Embrace the beauty of sober living with yourself and Mr. and kids.

freein14

Great work Solil, you've done the right thing. I know that was difficult for you to do, but it absolutely had to be done.

They can always visit at a later date, when you're stronger, for now you need to concentrate on healing your mind, body and spirit, day by day.

Hugs from me

Applekat

How is it that weather and weekend are such triggers. Sitting out back in the sun with the kids. Friday afternoon.

Ok. Posted here. Trying to shut the voice up early. Maybe we will have some icee pops.

freein14

Kat, I hope it helps to know that for me, the connection between sunshine, outdoors and my chosen poison has all but gone. I noticed it wasn't there last week when I was in London. So it will diminish for you too at some point. It's just a matter of breaking those neuronal connections, and making new ones with healthy alternatives.

You can do this!

Applekat

Thanks free. That does help. One Popsicle down. Good for the moment. Also stepped inside to cool off.

Soliloquy

Yes! Weather is definitely a trigger for me, especially sunshiny days in the yard! Throw yard work in the mix and it's an extra dangerous cocktail (pun intended).

I'm really digging ginger ale with a splash of cranberry juice. It amazes me that I sometimes cringe at the empty calories and sugar in having one or two when I think of how many calories I've consumed in alcohol. And it usually wasn't just one of those. Never would I dream of drinking a six pack or large bottle of soda or juice in one day, but I had no problem drinking several servings of alcohol.

Just think of how many calories you are saving and treat yo self!

Present4614

Good. You shouldn't. It's okay to be your sweet, kind self. It's not okay to be a doormat, but easier said than done. My little sister is exactly like that - always worried about everyone else's feelings, caretaker to the family. And we love her for it. But I have to say I am super protective of her and I let her know when I think she's being taken advantage of and if she won't speak up, I usually will.

Soliloquy

Oh my gosh!!!! The 3 guests smoke. I have nothing against it, but I myself do not smoke. I washed my bed sheets and hung them on the line outside to dry so they'd be extra fresh and these ladies are outside smoking right beside my sheets ����

Soliloquy

Present people like us need people like you. Your sister is lucky to have you. My husband and best friend are the same way and they help me see things more clearly.

Present4614

Seriously? They gotta GO. Some Febreeze should fix the sheets

Adnamaeel

Soliloquy, well done speaking to your husband about how you feel. It's hard to learn to speak up for yourself, but with each step, you'll get better at it. You really deserve some peace in your life now, and you also deserve your own advocacy. I'm pretty shocked by how inconsiderate your In-laws have been, I absolutely can't believe they invited guests, but at least there's now an end in sight.
Applekat, I know you can ride out this craving. Maybe try something else to get your endorphins going, like playing tag with your kids, jumping rope, or something like that. When I was still having cravings it seemed like doing almost anything physical made them recede. I've beem reading a lot about food intolerances and dietary restrictions today (Lucrezia, you and I have a lot more in common than I've ever mentioned on here), and one of the things that's come up repeatedly is that we're most likely to crave the things that are the most toxic to us. I know it's the same with alcohol and other drugs. Also frequently mentioned is that resisting the cravings will ultimately make them go away. Hang in there. I have loads of confidence in you.
Happy Friday, Fools. May we all have a happy, full and sober weekend. I have confidence in us all.

Soliloquy

Yes there is an end in sight. But I was told the guests were only staying one night and that doesn't seem to be the case. And now I'm going to have to sit at the table with all of them and eat dinner and act happy. I really don't want to do this. I am so angry. I intended to rest while they were gone but ended up spending the entire time cleaning. Everything is cluttered and out of place. I have certain places for certain things like dishes and people are putting things wherever they please. Maybe I have OCD or something but I can't relax with everything being unorganized and disheveled. People's stuff all over the place. I spent my day cleaning and washing towels. Just so they can come back with more towels and more mess.

I am aware what a negative Nancy I am being. I'm sorry. Know that I will be more pleasant when this is over. But if they don't leave on Sunday my brain might explode.

freein14

Solil, not long now!

And there should be no question about them leaving on Sunday. If there is any doubt at all then your husband must speak to them again. Don't leave it vague or open, make sure everyone knows that on Sunday it's time to go home.

You could ask things like "what time are you making a move on Sunday? Did you want some food to take with you for the journey?" Or "please don't feel rushed, but Sunday afternoon hubby me and the kids have been invited to a friends house, were you hoping to get going in the morning?"

Make sure your husband is there at the time, and is willing to counter any descent such as "oh we're not sure when we'll be off". Practice your strategy if needs be, and approach the situation as a strong team (you and hubby together).

Whatever words you use, however clumsy they come out, the result must be that they leave on Sunday.

May the Fools Force be with you!

Applekat

Happy Saturday Fools. Hung in there last night. Exhausted already and it's only noon. I think I caught your virtual sickness Solil. I'm going to try and remember EmergenC at the store today.

I'm realizing how true it is that nearly everything is a "trigger". I feel a sore throat coming on and recall times in the past where I used to joke to hubby when feeling a cold, we should get whiskey instead of (ha, or addition to?) wine tonight. That'll help my throat.

Bleh.

Soliloquy

Apparently I must have misunderstood, my husband never agreed to make sure they leave Sunday. It is unreasonable for me to ask that, and being around people should make me happy. They are not leaving tomorrow.

freein14

We're here listening Solil,

Much love x

Adnamaeel

I am so sorry to hear that, Soliloquy. I don't know what to say except vent away and hang in there.