Notices

Class of April 2014 Part 14

Old 07-09-2014, 10:53 AM
  # 81 (permalink)  
Member
 
Join Date: Apr 2010
Location: Lowcountry
Posts: 2,762
Thank Goodness for library computers and utube !!!

Found a utube site that demonstrated how to *nuke* everything on this laptop and reinstall windows 7 . I didn't even know what the heck number windows I had, but that's what was on the disk .

The ability to be able to *pause* the video was golden , because he kept saying " this part will take a while, ...be patient"

So at least this baby will be traveling in the morning.

Freein, ...I already apologized ( real nice like ) just in case your friend in IT is right about them having feelings !? <smiling >

Obo, ...looking forward to it mate !

Being able to access SR and Pandora, .....feel like I just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground !?!

I hope everyone will check in soon.

TS
topspin is offline  
Old 07-09-2014, 11:55 AM
  # 82 (permalink)  
Member
 
SolitaryThinker's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2014
Location: Long Beach, NY
Posts: 2,317
Hey all I have a LOT of catching up to do, but also have wonderful news about my health and expierences with the doctors...I'm getting the serious help I needed in so many different ways, I have been so preoccupied with appointments and doctor stuff I haven't posted...I have been thing about everyone...
SolitaryThinker is offline  
Old 07-09-2014, 12:35 PM
  # 83 (permalink)  
Blood Countess
 
Join Date: May 2014
Location: A castle
Posts: 340
Awesome ST!

I've been doing well. Still sober, day 15. Taking care of my health and going to appointments as well. But of course, this is usually my "calm before the storm" time. So. I will have to see how things are in another week or two.
Lucrezia is offline  
Old 07-09-2014, 01:34 PM
  # 84 (permalink)  
Member
 
freein14's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2014
Posts: 2,804
ST, that's such great news, you're getting the help you need at last. I can't tell you how happy I am about that. Looking forward to hearing how the future pans out for you.

Lucrezia, well done on your milestone.

I wonder if it might be better to assume that you'll carry on successfully, rather than reinforcing the thought of "calm before the storm". You have more experience and more support and more wisdom than you've had before so success is much more likely.

You're doing great, there's no reason to think otherwise.

freein14 is offline  
Old 07-09-2014, 02:21 PM
  # 85 (permalink)  
Blood Countess
 
Join Date: May 2014
Location: A castle
Posts: 340
Thanks. I actually do feel like things are different this time. I still want to prepare, though. I don't want a false sense of security. I don't want it to catch me off guard... you know? I intend to ride through the storm, sober. I mean, if a storm comes. I think it will eventually. I have to be able ride through it this time, though. I plan on doing that. I mean who knows, maybe it will never come... but I think it would be unwise of me to assume there will not be huge cravings coming in the future.

Anyway thanks so much for your input. You're right - our mindsets and the things we tell ourselves really help (or hinder us) a lot! I have been slowly incorporating different words into my vocabulary, actually. For example, instead of saying "I'm trying not to drink" or "I'm not supposed to drink (or can't drink)" I say "I do not drink" and things like that. Words that are more proactive, and permanent sounding. It seems to help.

I started out saying "I don't drink... right now" haha, but that still is not good enough! I simply don't drink. Am I worried about the future? Yes! But still... blah blah... I should stop typing now haha. Sorry.
Lucrezia is offline  
Old 07-09-2014, 03:28 PM
  # 86 (permalink)  
Member
 
obosob's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2014
Posts: 1,315
St: good work!
Top and mariah: im on a i paf thingy, will have to follow top and go to the library....
8.26 am, wet and cold......
A real melbourne winter!!!!

Stay tuned...
obosob is offline  
Old 07-09-2014, 05:16 PM
  # 87 (permalink)  
Member
 
Join Date: Apr 2014
Posts: 801
Hey guys- I've been keeping up, feeling kinda quiet and thoughtful these days- prefer lurking, I guess .

ST- I'm so happy to hear your appts were helpful. Pls keep us posted on how that continues.

Adna- sounds like you are one busy bee. One busy artsy bee. How's it going w the not so nice person?

Top- hope you enjoy your trip tomorrow and that your pc (and it's feelings) are on the mend.

Obo- I loved hearing about how you carried your wife across the threshold. You are such a sweetheart.

Kitten- are you feeling better? I'm so inspired with how you are facing your difficult feelings, soberly.

Free- great to hear how well your presentation and dinner w friends went. Sounds like your life is moving in such a positive direction.

Luc- I hear ya about those storms. Your plan to ride the next one out soberly sounds realistic yet hopeful.

Bee- you ok? How's the new job?

DD- I remember you sharing about coming to terms regarding how you're feeling about some things? Hope you're doing well. And surfing, right? I always wanted to do that!

Rock- how did it go with your parents? Sounds like you were pretty clear that it was a set up. I concur w Dee that that would be pretty sick. What happened?

Soli- I'm so glad your posting. When I experiences my last lost, I shut out the world. I know it's so much better for you that you're letting people in. Did you talk to your husband about what you were thinking?

Dee- hope the housing situation worked out. And glad you're back- certainly not the same w out you.

Pan- good luck w the move!

Up- love your inspirational thoughts! How are things in your world?

Kat, Chick, Stormi- everything ok? Haven't heard from y'all in a while.

Everyone, hope you have a great evening and week! I'm off to read a little and go to bed.

Gnite
izzy8 is offline  
Old 07-09-2014, 05:20 PM
  # 88 (permalink)  
Member
 
Join Date: Apr 2014
Posts: 801
Mariah! Sounds like your staying productive and doing well ! I agree that we are so much better/more for those we love when we make this daily decision to be well. Your boys are blessed to have you as their moma!
izzy8 is offline  
Old 07-09-2014, 05:35 PM
  # 89 (permalink)  
Member
 
Soliloquy's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2012
Location: Too far up North
Posts: 284
I don't have time to say anything right now but I just want to check in in case I don't have a chance later. I've had a pretty crappy day and I'm exhausted emotionally and physically but I'm hanging in there.

I will catch up later but I might fall asleep. In fact I HOPE I fall asleep. Running on about 2 hours of sleep.
Soliloquy is offline  
Old 07-09-2014, 06:29 PM
  # 90 (permalink)  
Hillbilly Girl
 
MariahGayle's Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 2013
Location: In my Garden
Posts: 3,953
Hope you get some good sleep Sol

Thank you for that Izzy

Fantastic news ST - So glad for you!

I am extremely exhausted....so hot here, which is "draining". Finally had someone out to look at fridge...compressor is shot - said I may as well have it hauled off. Sent a text to the people I bought it from & just told them that I make $11.00 an hour supporting myself & Son & Thank You. Made me feel better.

So I am leaving this Friday with a Cousin I don't know very well to spend the week-end on another Cousin's house boat on a Lake. This is completely out of my comfort zone & just trying to not get myself all worked up about it. They know of my struggle with the drink & the one I am going with said that if it made it difficult, she would not drink. I think she is a "normie" but I guess fell off the boat last time she was there

I am tired, lonely (Son has been gone for a couple of nights) & cranky, so I will go eat & maybe get to the gym.
MariahGayle is offline  
Old 07-09-2014, 08:16 PM
  # 91 (permalink)  
Member
 
Applekat's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2014
Location: New York
Posts: 3,241
I have to catch up, Fools.

I had that 4th of July gathering and then headed to the Mountains for vaca and was offline for the most part. Unfortunately I did slip a few times - in that mostly controlled way with a couple glasses at a few dinners. Blah blah blah. But tonight I picked up a bottle of wine after already having had a couple drinks with hubby at dinner. Had one giant glass of wine on a fairly empty stomach....predictably feel like poo.

I just poured the whole rest of the bottle out. And I'm eating some pretzels to start.

Not some life shattering, disgusting relapse by any means. But I know where this would be headed. I would have either drank the whole bottle or hidden it away. Etc, etc.

Sorry, guys! I hope these pretzels and some sleep help. I'm exhausted. Vacationing with kids doesn't count as a vacation! I guess I went into stressed out/deserve it mode. But was able to stop at 2. Then got home today and felt the sneaky addict side kicking in...

I'm not proud of this in any way. But glad I'm posting. Glad I poured it out. Glad that I know what I really want. Hugs, all.
Applekat is offline  
Old 07-09-2014, 09:28 PM
  # 92 (permalink)  
Hillbilly Girl
 
MariahGayle's Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 2013
Location: In my Garden
Posts: 3,953
Glad to see you Post Kat - Have been thinking about you. Glad too that you poured it out & you are here! New day tomorrow - Never give up. Get some rest, I know how exhausting vacationing with kiddos is.

I skipped the workout tonight (although I did swim 10 laps, which I haven't done for awhile - it is such a great way to relax....think I will start doing that again) had a nice soak in the jacuzzi & home with Son watching a movie...."without a paddle" if you have never seen it, is a great movie - good for a laugh

Night All & have a great day tomorrow
MariahGayle is offline  
Old 07-09-2014, 11:44 PM
  # 93 (permalink)  
Member
 
freein14's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2014
Posts: 2,804
Hi everyone,

Izzy, it's always lovely to hear from you, whenever you're able to post. I hope "quiet and thoughtful" feels like a good thing (rather than a low mood kind of thing).

Solil, I hope you're able to have a better nights sleep tonight. It's so hard functioning on too little sleep. There's a lot of advice about sleep hygiene on the www, things like; going to bed at the same time each night; Have a relaxing bed time routine (e.g. no electronic gadgetry); relaxation exercises. Would it be worth seeing a Dr for some advice?

Kat, well done for getting rid of the bottle. You listened to you higher self, that could be a major battle won, and you're back on track again.

Mariah, 10 laps in the pool sounds like a workout to me! Swimming is really hard work as far as I'm concerned - I can't seem to get the breathing right, and end up just holding my breath for as long as possible before the inevitable gasping in of water. Very unpleasant.

I have my appraisal at work today, hopefully it will go well. I'm in a much better frame of mind than I was last year so it will be interesting to see if anyone at work has noticed. I think I was quite good at hiding my insecurities but I might be surprised. I'm almost hoping someone says "you seem much more sober lately, more awake, on the ball, have a huge pay rise!" But somehow I doubt that will happen.

Hope everyone has a great day.
freein14 is offline  
Old 07-10-2014, 06:38 AM
  # 94 (permalink)  
Member
 
Soliloquy's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2012
Location: Too far up North
Posts: 284
Panacea an Freein I also have the goal to start excersizing daily, even if only as little as half a mile. In fact, I think I will make that my goal for now. Half a mile per day. Because I know that 9/10 days I will choose to go further than that once I get going. And if I don't, something is better than nothing.

Tops good job on getting your laptop working

ST congrats on getting the help that you needed!

Lucrezia I share your sense of wariness about the future. It's hard to trust. COngrats on day 15

Izzy it is hard for me not to shut out the world right now. That's what I did last time too. It was like a dark lonely cave. I have been trying to shut down my emotions because the thought of going back to that place is so scary. But I know that's not healthy, so I've been making a concious effor to experience the grief at least a little bit.

Mariah the lake trip sounds like something that would be way out of my comfort zone as well, but it sounds like your family supports you. I hope you have a good time.

Applekat I'm glad you posted. Sorry about your slip ups but just be proud that you caught yourself. It probably wasn't easy to pour the rest of that bottle out.

Freein I have considered going to the doctor for my sleep problems but I want to wait a while. I really don't want to be on meds, but on the other hand I have been taking otc sleep aids. Still, I am trying not to do that either. I have a couple of unusually circumstances making my insomnia worse lately. Goes without saying I lay awake and think about mom, but I usually start to fall asleep around 1 or 2. Seems like around that time the neighbors dog (which lives in a pen not far from our house) has chosen to start barking nonstop for about an hour around that time each night. Also, my 5 yr old has an upper respiratory infection and has been waking me up at around 4am the past few days. ;(
Good luck on your appraisal today!


Well, I talked to my husband yesterday. I told him that I planned to not drink anymore. He asked "Forever?" and I told him that I can't see into the future but that would be the desired outcome. He then said that he would get on the wagon with me. I responded that it was not necessary, but told him I do need his help and that not drinking around me would be part of that at least for a while. I said that if he does plan to drink at home, I don't mind but we will not be spending that time together. I will find something to do to occupy me elsewhere. He continued that he DID want to quit drinking as well. I told him that's fine, but I am doing this on my own even if we both do it, I don't want to slip up if he changes his mind. He then said that he should get rid of the alcohol in the house...by drinking it, and asked if I minded. His "last time". I reminded him that his parents are coming this weekend and there's no point in getting rid of it because they will buy some anyway. Just let them drink what we have. I said tthat he's probably going to want to drink while they're here anyway. He said he wouldn't. He asked if it would bother me if he drank what we have left and I said no. He didn't drink it all but he did have a beer at dinner. He asked again before opening it if it would bother me. It didn't but I was a little suprised that he would do that within hours of that conversation. I guess in his mind he really is just going to finish what we have and maybe that's true. I don't know. I don't care. Oh, I forgot..he thought about it and later said "until football season" he won't drink. But if once all that alcohol is gone I plan to bring it up again and tell him that it is important to me that he doesn't drink when we are together. That means don't even ask permission, like he did this time.

I feel like I've been Pavlov's dog for so long, like I have a conditioned response. I'm trying to figure out what it is that rings my bell. I believe that you CAN teach an old dog new tricks and I'm going to learn how to outsmart my triggers. Until I do, I need to be cautious. I might THINK it's OK to be around my husband if he drinks, but I can't be sure. I might THINK it's OK to have alcohol in the house, but I can't be sure. So unless company is here, after what we have is gone, I'm going to ask him to keep it out.
Soliloquy is offline  
Old 07-10-2014, 07:45 AM
  # 95 (permalink)  
greenturtle
 
Join Date: Mar 2013
Posts: 208
Soli - It sounds like you have a great plan in place. Kudos to you for having that conversation with your husband. I know some people in recovery believe it's wrong of us to ask our SO/Spouses/siblings to not drink in front of us. It's our problem not theirs. However, I do not agree with this thinking - in the beginning of recovery at least. If your SO/Spouse/Siblings/etc KNOW you have a PROBLEM then they should be eager to NOT want to put you in a position where you may be tempted to throw away your sobriety. I hope you get the support you need from your spouse.

Luc - I also started saying "I don't drink". I was doing the same as you ending that phrase with..."for now". Good for you for 15 days!

Free - I hope your work appraisal goes well. Fingers crossed!

Kat - Sorry you slipped but a) at least it was minor and nothing bad happened and b) you are back here starting over. Good for you. We will eventually get this right!

ST - Good that the doctors are helping you! Keep up the good work

As for me, it's day 10. Feeling good but hate being at work. I wish I could have my summers off...better yet, retire or win the lotto

Best to you all!
kellyg is offline  
Old 07-10-2014, 07:57 AM
  # 96 (permalink)  
Formerly ScrewdUpInDe
 
Join Date: Apr 2014
Location: In the Nightmare in my head
Posts: 5,329
Morning Fools
No matter what the world throws in your path, remember that happiness is not found in the world around you......it is found inside of your own heart.
No matter what exists around us, we have the power to create happiness in the worst circumstances simply by having compassion.
When we are at our lowest points, we can often lift ourselves by lifting those around us. Bringing compassion and comfort to those around us will often bring it to our own lives like a wave....
Have a great day!! I'll try to post later
Upward2Enlightenment is offline  
Old 07-10-2014, 08:05 AM
  # 97 (permalink)  
Hillbilly Girl
 
MariahGayle's Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 2013
Location: In my Garden
Posts: 3,953
Good Morning Fools

You will having a glowing appraisal today Freein!!

Great job on 10 days Kelly!

Sol - Hope you were able to get some sleep - barking dogs & sick kids make that pretty difficult. You sound strong & are putting things in place to maintain your sobriety...that is fantastic!

My Friday today - Yay for another long weekend after I finish the workday

Once we accept ourselves unconditionally,
no matter where we are, it will feel like home.

Quote from "The Journey to the Heart"
MariahGayle is offline  
Old 07-10-2014, 08:07 AM
  # 98 (permalink)  
Hillbilly Girl
 
MariahGayle's Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 2013
Location: In my Garden
Posts: 3,953
Thank you for that Up - Have a good day
MariahGayle is offline  
Old 07-10-2014, 08:46 AM
  # 99 (permalink)  
Member
 
Applekat's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2014
Location: New York
Posts: 3,241
Thanks Fools.

I feel like I can't explain my slips. I've been able to reign them in to occasional weekends (mostly - besides the vino at a couple dinners on this vaca). And I've always come right back to SR. I'm thankful for the sober days I've accumulated. And I'm thankful I haven't gone back into sneaking, hiding and lying about drinking. But I also wonder how long to keep patting myself on the back for sober days (versus total and continuous sobriety) and for getting right back on the wagon and posting again (versus being able to always post before drinking). I mean, enough already, right?! I've come a long way. Yes. But.....what the heck, ya know!?
Applekat is offline  
Old 07-10-2014, 12:35 PM
  # 100 (permalink)  
Member
 
freein14's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2014
Posts: 2,804
Solil, I'm so pleased you've had such an honest and open chat to your husband. It's so much easier to stay focused if everyone in the household is committed to the same plan. That sounds like a great step forward for you.

For me, I've found it much easier since making the absolute decision to be a non-drinker. No question left about shall I or shan't I, just the fact that I'm someone that doesn't drink. In the past, I found that any "slip" not only kept the gremlin alive, but it became even more hungry. It just felt like a battle of wits, and I ended up relying on my will power, it was exhausting.

Since choosing an alcohol free life (for life) my brain isn't conflicted anymore, and I can enjoy my time so much more easily. The gremlin is still alive (just), but certainly getting weaker, and I'm getting stronger.

I know it's still early days, but I do think there's been a major positive shift in my brain. There's no going back.

The weekend is almost here again, so it might be time to renew our Fools Bargain.

Hope everyone's doing well today.
freein14 is offline  

Currently Active Users Viewing this Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
 
Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are Off




All times are GMT -7. The time now is 01:04 AM.