Class of April 2014 Part 14
Member
Join Date: Apr 2010
Location: Lowcountry
Posts: 2,762
lucrezia,
It was delusional in some aspects the way I would underestimate myself when I was drinking. Once I gave myself a little time sober, my relationships with friends ( some I hadn't even met yet ) and family did start to change for the better.
Tonight is just a small example, albeit not a very important thing, but someone needed to check in an hour past when I leave work, and I was able to ride back down there and check them in at 3 am. Some young girls who'd been driving 10 hours that probably hadn't budgeted for an extra night's stay at a room at a hotel here, ........anyway, they were as happy as could be that I came back down there to check them in. It was no big deal, but never in a million years would I have even answered the phone at 2:40 am when I was drinking.
That's probably not a good example , ...but being available to help folks out when I can makes my life better. That little thing tonight was the direct result of sobriety.
Now, ....I better get myself to bed !
It was delusional in some aspects the way I would underestimate myself when I was drinking. Once I gave myself a little time sober, my relationships with friends ( some I hadn't even met yet ) and family did start to change for the better.
Tonight is just a small example, albeit not a very important thing, but someone needed to check in an hour past when I leave work, and I was able to ride back down there and check them in at 3 am. Some young girls who'd been driving 10 hours that probably hadn't budgeted for an extra night's stay at a room at a hotel here, ........anyway, they were as happy as could be that I came back down there to check them in. It was no big deal, but never in a million years would I have even answered the phone at 2:40 am when I was drinking.
That's probably not a good example , ...but being available to help folks out when I can makes my life better. That little thing tonight was the direct result of sobriety.
Now, ....I better get myself to bed !
Formerly ScrewdUpInDe
Join Date: Apr 2014
Location: In the Nightmare in my head
Posts: 5,329
Morning everyone.
Present, congrats on the big 100 ... right behind you ... today is 95
Good to be back obo, thanks
Luc ... hope you didn't drink
Sleep well top ... you did a good thing last night/this morning
Hope everyone else is doing good. Be back in a bit
Present, congrats on the big 100 ... right behind you ... today is 95
Good to be back obo, thanks
Luc ... hope you didn't drink
Sleep well top ... you did a good thing last night/this morning
Hope everyone else is doing good. Be back in a bit
Member
Join Date: Apr 2014
Location: Long Beach, NY
Posts: 2,317
A big congrats on 100 days present!
Lucriz I hope you were able to fight that urge, I so so know how hard it is...
Checking in a saying hi, therapy has been going amazingly...anger management, psycho therapy, stress management, general group, and a meeting with my psychologist...it's a long day I'm not gonna lie but I'm really enjoying it...there are a few extremely disturbed individuals but for the most part there are some amazing individuals in here with me...I see the point, it has really thrown a large amount of perspective on the situation...we do drawing and writing also which is good I'm forced into doing it kinda...meditation and breathing techniques also...I have a lot to do...my anxiety meds have been working WONDERS!!! I feel silly complaining about the stuff I did when i heard other peoples situations...but not gonna feel guilty about it....I'm on the 4th day of the two weeks but honestly I'm not even looking at it as I wanna leave, I actually don't want the two weeks to end!!! This is a vacation but a strange and emotional one...stay strong everyone!
Lucriz I hope you were able to fight that urge, I so so know how hard it is...
Checking in a saying hi, therapy has been going amazingly...anger management, psycho therapy, stress management, general group, and a meeting with my psychologist...it's a long day I'm not gonna lie but I'm really enjoying it...there are a few extremely disturbed individuals but for the most part there are some amazing individuals in here with me...I see the point, it has really thrown a large amount of perspective on the situation...we do drawing and writing also which is good I'm forced into doing it kinda...meditation and breathing techniques also...I have a lot to do...my anxiety meds have been working WONDERS!!! I feel silly complaining about the stuff I did when i heard other peoples situations...but not gonna feel guilty about it....I'm on the 4th day of the two weeks but honestly I'm not even looking at it as I wanna leave, I actually don't want the two weeks to end!!! This is a vacation but a strange and emotional one...stay strong everyone!
Member
Join Date: Apr 2014
Location: New York
Posts: 3,241
I'm looking forward to the weekend thread again. Thanks for whoever recommended it to me last week. 
I'll be facing the "hubby business trip" trigger again this Sunday-Thursday. Why does it take so much will power not to pick up bottles of wine for that time period. Sneaky AV.
Check in Luc! Hope all is well and you're cruising onto day xx.
I'll be facing the "hubby business trip" trigger again this Sunday-Thursday. Why does it take so much will power not to pick up bottles of wine for that time period. Sneaky AV.
Check in Luc! Hope all is well and you're cruising onto day xx.
Member
Join Date: Apr 2014
Posts: 2,804
Hi all,
Luc, I hope you're ok, sounds like you were under attack last night. I hope you managed to overcome that AV.
Kat thank you for the U-tube links, really scary stuff.
I'm back home now. What a difference a couple of months of sobriety has made. I've been doing so much more with my time, and enjoying trying new things and meeting new people. Everything used to feel like just too much effort to do before I made the decision to live alcohol-free. What a waste.
I just hope I don't take this new perspective for granted, I want to keep this momentum going if I can.
Present, 100 days is fabulous, well done you
ST, your programme sounds life-changing, can we all come?
Love to all x
Luc, I hope you're ok, sounds like you were under attack last night. I hope you managed to overcome that AV.
Kat thank you for the U-tube links, really scary stuff.
I'm back home now. What a difference a couple of months of sobriety has made. I've been doing so much more with my time, and enjoying trying new things and meeting new people. Everything used to feel like just too much effort to do before I made the decision to live alcohol-free. What a waste.
I just hope I don't take this new perspective for granted, I want to keep this momentum going if I can.
Present, 100 days is fabulous, well done you
ST, your programme sounds life-changing, can we all come?
Love to all x
Member
Join Date: Aug 2012
Location: Too far up North
Posts: 284
Present congrats on being near your huge milestone! Your post about how you feel free from everything was true motivation for me.
Freein It seems like CBT would be the ideal form of treatment for me. When ever I research any of the mental stresses I experience, that always pops up. Maybe one day I will have the balls to seek help through that route. Luckily, I've quit worrying about the possibility about a tumor. For now anyway.
Adna I'm happy the event was such a positive experience for you. I think that the more of those we have, the stronger we'll be.
Tops I feel the same way about drinking being a moral dilema. I never really felt that way before, and if I did it wasnt nearly this strong. I don't think it hurt anyone else, but I seriously verbally asked myself not to hurt my body anymore.
ST man you are doing great! You should be very proud of yourself.
Well yesterday my husband and I took a day trip to a casino with a married couple, the man works with him. They are non-drinkers. If they weren't, I probably wouldn't have agreed to go.
I was really nervous to go because I don't know them well, but I thought it would be a good experience for me to be social without the crutch of alcohol. There were some moments where I was extremely anxiety ridden and felt awkward, but all and all I think I did okay. Of course, I wasn't the most talkative person but I did make small talk and start conversations. I have to go out of my comfort zone to do that.
I wasn't tempted by the alcohol. I did think that I probably would've had a lot more fun if I was drunk, but that's mainly because that's not really my scene. It made me feel claustrophobic and germaphobic. I don't smoke and after a while the smell started getting to me. But I'd say I had a good time. I had a little fun playing the slots. I'm just naturally frugal so I didn't want to waste a bunch of money. We ended up losing a total of $100 and then called it quits.
We went to a Starbucks after dinner and I got a venti vanilla machiato with an extra shot of espresso. Then we went to Cabellas. On the way home I asked to drive thru Starbucks again and got a grande coffee. I knew it was a bad idea to drink all of that coffee so late in the evening but there's not any really good coffee places near where we live. Anyway, I didn't sleep good at all so I'm groggy.
I tried to be positive about my inlaws stay but I can't. It just really makes me upset that they would come here a week after I was gone an entire month dealing with my mothers death, and stay for God knows how long. I've only got to see my husband a total of less than 7 days since I've been back because of his work, and most of that time has been spent with them too. My mother in law keeps wanting to do things. This morning she suggested we drive 4 hours away to some place. I said I didn't really feel like it. "OK, well what do you want to do then?". I JUST WANT PEACE! I'm supposed to carry on and be happy go lucky and go out and about. Sorry, but my mom just died last month. I need time to reflect. My God, I didn't want to go out to dinner at some burger joint the other night and it was a huge deal. "Why not?" "Why don't you want to go?". It's driving me crazy. I feel that no one is being sensitive to the fact that I am going through a hard time. They left and went walking around to shops. I could tell she was disappointed that I didn't want to go.
It's like I should feel guilty for not showing them a good time while they're here on vacation.
OK enough with that rant. Sorry.
Freein It seems like CBT would be the ideal form of treatment for me. When ever I research any of the mental stresses I experience, that always pops up. Maybe one day I will have the balls to seek help through that route. Luckily, I've quit worrying about the possibility about a tumor. For now anyway.
Adna I'm happy the event was such a positive experience for you. I think that the more of those we have, the stronger we'll be.
Tops I feel the same way about drinking being a moral dilema. I never really felt that way before, and if I did it wasnt nearly this strong. I don't think it hurt anyone else, but I seriously verbally asked myself not to hurt my body anymore.
ST man you are doing great! You should be very proud of yourself.
Well yesterday my husband and I took a day trip to a casino with a married couple, the man works with him. They are non-drinkers. If they weren't, I probably wouldn't have agreed to go.
I was really nervous to go because I don't know them well, but I thought it would be a good experience for me to be social without the crutch of alcohol. There were some moments where I was extremely anxiety ridden and felt awkward, but all and all I think I did okay. Of course, I wasn't the most talkative person but I did make small talk and start conversations. I have to go out of my comfort zone to do that.
I wasn't tempted by the alcohol. I did think that I probably would've had a lot more fun if I was drunk, but that's mainly because that's not really my scene. It made me feel claustrophobic and germaphobic. I don't smoke and after a while the smell started getting to me. But I'd say I had a good time. I had a little fun playing the slots. I'm just naturally frugal so I didn't want to waste a bunch of money. We ended up losing a total of $100 and then called it quits.
We went to a Starbucks after dinner and I got a venti vanilla machiato with an extra shot of espresso. Then we went to Cabellas. On the way home I asked to drive thru Starbucks again and got a grande coffee. I knew it was a bad idea to drink all of that coffee so late in the evening but there's not any really good coffee places near where we live. Anyway, I didn't sleep good at all so I'm groggy.
I tried to be positive about my inlaws stay but I can't. It just really makes me upset that they would come here a week after I was gone an entire month dealing with my mothers death, and stay for God knows how long. I've only got to see my husband a total of less than 7 days since I've been back because of his work, and most of that time has been spent with them too. My mother in law keeps wanting to do things. This morning she suggested we drive 4 hours away to some place. I said I didn't really feel like it. "OK, well what do you want to do then?". I JUST WANT PEACE! I'm supposed to carry on and be happy go lucky and go out and about. Sorry, but my mom just died last month. I need time to reflect. My God, I didn't want to go out to dinner at some burger joint the other night and it was a huge deal. "Why not?" "Why don't you want to go?". It's driving me crazy. I feel that no one is being sensitive to the fact that I am going through a hard time. They left and went walking around to shops. I could tell she was disappointed that I didn't want to go.
It's like I should feel guilty for not showing them a good time while they're here on vacation.
OK enough with that rant. Sorry.
Formerly ScrewdUpInDe
Join Date: Apr 2014
Location: In the Nightmare in my head
Posts: 5,329
When we realize our dreams from within and not those of others, then we can gain a sense of direction. We spend many years of our lives just trying to "stay alive", be successful in society, or hold together a family, and yet we often forget ourselves. We forget to focus on that which will bring us great happiness when everything else is gone.
We need to focus on our hearts, our true desires, and our dreams.
The focus we had early in life was the focus we needed at that time, in some cases it was to raise children, and in others it was just to provide a home.
As we get older our focus needs to change towards driving our heart's desires into reality. Do not miss the opportunity to do with your life what you really desire in your heart. Time is a gift and if you never pursue that dream, then you have never opened the greatest gift of all.
Have a great day!!
We need to focus on our hearts, our true desires, and our dreams.
The focus we had early in life was the focus we needed at that time, in some cases it was to raise children, and in others it was just to provide a home.
As we get older our focus needs to change towards driving our heart's desires into reality. Do not miss the opportunity to do with your life what you really desire in your heart. Time is a gift and if you never pursue that dream, then you have never opened the greatest gift of all.
Have a great day!!
Formerly ScrewdUpInDe
Join Date: Apr 2014
Location: In the Nightmare in my head
Posts: 5,329
That's great to hear ST, keep it up.
Hang in there kat, you can make it through.
Sounds like you had a great time free.
You hang in there too soli, I agree that the inlaws visit is very inconsiderate. Maybe they think they are helping but should have made sure that you wanted company before coming.
Hang in there kat, you can make it through.
Sounds like you had a great time free.
You hang in there too soli, I agree that the inlaws visit is very inconsiderate. Maybe they think they are helping but should have made sure that you wanted company before coming.
Member
Join Date: Aug 2012
Location: Too far up North
Posts: 284
Pretty sure they planned on coming before my mom died and just decided to still come when they planned and not reschedule.
I don't think it's to help. When my husband asked if they'd mind watching the kids so that we could go yesterday, the reply was a reluctant "I guess".
I don't think it's to help. When my husband asked if they'd mind watching the kids so that we could go yesterday, the reply was a reluctant "I guess".
Member
Join Date: Apr 2014
Location: New York
Posts: 3,241
Unplanned visit stopover to my parents house before kid's soccer practice. No one home, kids eating quick dinner. Couple of open wine bottles, maybe leftover from a party? Small box of Pinot Grigio cold in the fridge. I want to sip so badly while kids eat dinner outside in the sun. 
Member
Join Date: Apr 2014
Posts: 1,315
Sol after dad died i could never have handled the in laws, or out laws as i like to call them. You sound like an ace mum. I picture you and the family driving around listening to nofx and singing along with fat mike! Imagine how cool its going to be when all of this passes and you are sober, wise, punk and an artist!!!!
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Join Date: Apr 2010
Location: Lowcountry
Posts: 2,762
Originally Posted by Soliloquy 
I tried to be positive about my inlaws stay but I can't. It just really makes me upset that they would come here a week after I was gone an entire month dealing with my mothers death, and stay for God knows how long.
I really empathize with your situation !!
The part about you being uncertain about their departure date would be the hardest thing for me. As their host, ...I wonder if you could delicately broach the subject in passing conversation sometime ?
Your MIL may be trying her best to give you support, but just doesn't know how, or is thinking about it wrongly, or something.
I'm glad you are able to express yourself on this thread about it. It's something that will end at some point, ....I guess that's the bright side, if there is one !?!
Member
Join Date: Apr 2014
Location: New York
Posts: 3,241
Thanks, guys! I'm all good for tonight. Walked away and continued on with the evening.
Solil - escape to the treadmill if you can. Hugs. Or hot bubble bath.
Since Sunday......ice cream - 5, treadmill - 0
That has to change again!
Solil - escape to the treadmill if you can. Hugs. Or hot bubble bath.
Since Sunday......ice cream - 5, treadmill - 0
That has to change again!
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