Class of April 2014 Part 14
Member
Join Date: Apr 2014
Posts: 2,804
Hi everyone,
ST, I'm so happy for you, it sounds like the programme suits you down to the ground. I think it's a good thing that they've explained the boundaries at the outset, basically it sounds like "the programme works, if you work with the programme". It's great to hear how you're getting on with it.
Adna, wow, that's a great achievement, you've won a huge battle. You should be so proud of yourself.
My holiday is over, I head back home early in the morning. It's been such a special time these few days on my own here. It's been invigorating for my mind, body and soul. Almost a retreat, in a busy city, kind of way.
Don't get me wrong, I'm pleased to be going home, but work and general life worries have been absent from my mind since I've been here. I'd like to keep this feeling of inner freedom if it's possible.
Alarm clock's set, so hopefully I'll get on to the underground before rush hour.
ST, I'm so happy for you, it sounds like the programme suits you down to the ground. I think it's a good thing that they've explained the boundaries at the outset, basically it sounds like "the programme works, if you work with the programme". It's great to hear how you're getting on with it.
Adna, wow, that's a great achievement, you've won a huge battle. You should be so proud of yourself.
My holiday is over, I head back home early in the morning. It's been such a special time these few days on my own here. It's been invigorating for my mind, body and soul. Almost a retreat, in a busy city, kind of way.
Don't get me wrong, I'm pleased to be going home, but work and general life worries have been absent from my mind since I've been here. I'd like to keep this feeling of inner freedom if it's possible.
Alarm clock's set, so hopefully I'll get on to the underground before rush hour.
Blood Countess
Join Date: May 2014
Location: A castle
Posts: 340
My brain has decided that it's okay to drink today. What do I do? Or, should I make a separate thread for this? I'm torn. I really want to... I feel calm, like "it's ok this time"
It feels like a 75-80% chance of drinking later....but I'm on here for a reason. You know. I remember saying I wanted to get past a month... but, drinking a little? Harm reduction? Maybe I can do it. I don't know.
At first I was going to stay away from this thread and just drink...maybe not even tell people...it's more like I'm checking to see if I can not, even though I feel like it's more likely I will. But hmmm.... maybe I can ride this out. But maybe I don't want to. Maybe it's not that bad. Ugh.
It feels like a 75-80% chance of drinking later....but I'm on here for a reason. You know. I remember saying I wanted to get past a month... but, drinking a little? Harm reduction? Maybe I can do it. I don't know.
At first I was going to stay away from this thread and just drink...maybe not even tell people...it's more like I'm checking to see if I can not, even though I feel like it's more likely I will. But hmmm.... maybe I can ride this out. But maybe I don't want to. Maybe it's not that bad. Ugh.
Member
Join Date: Apr 2014
Location: New York
Posts: 3,241
Great job coming here!!
You know you will regret it. Hangover, starting over at day 1. No fun. I can say all the usual stuff - play the tape forward!
Another tactic - throw on an episode of intervention or addicted. Search youtube for alcoholic seizure. Even if your alcoholism isn't there yet, this is progressive. The scare tactic usually stops me cold from grabbing the bottle.
Please don't drink! I've had enough slips since April that I KNOW it's not enjoyable at all. In fact I feel like crud quicker each time. Please keep posting.
"I once heard a sober alcoholic say that drinking never made him happy, but it made him feel like he was going to be happy in about fifteen minutes. That was exactly it, and I couldn’t understand why the happiness never came, couldn’t see the flaw in my thinking, couldn’t see that alcohol kept me trapped in a world of illusion, procrastination, paralysis. I lived always in the future, never in the present. Next time, next time! Next time I drank it would be different, next time it would make me feel good again. And all my efforts were doomed, because already drinking hadn’t made me feel good in years."
You know you will regret it. Hangover, starting over at day 1. No fun. I can say all the usual stuff - play the tape forward!
Another tactic - throw on an episode of intervention or addicted. Search youtube for alcoholic seizure. Even if your alcoholism isn't there yet, this is progressive. The scare tactic usually stops me cold from grabbing the bottle.
Please don't drink! I've had enough slips since April that I KNOW it's not enjoyable at all. In fact I feel like crud quicker each time. Please keep posting.
"I once heard a sober alcoholic say that drinking never made him happy, but it made him feel like he was going to be happy in about fifteen minutes. That was exactly it, and I couldn’t understand why the happiness never came, couldn’t see the flaw in my thinking, couldn’t see that alcohol kept me trapped in a world of illusion, procrastination, paralysis. I lived always in the future, never in the present. Next time, next time! Next time I drank it would be different, next time it would make me feel good again. And all my efforts were doomed, because already drinking hadn’t made me feel good in years."
Member
Join Date: Apr 2014
Location: New York
Posts: 3,241
Not sure if you are familiar with this woman but she tells her brief story:
How I Live With Addiction Every Day: Amber Valletta
How I Live With Addiction Every Day: Amber Valletta
Member
Join Date: Apr 2014
Location: New York
Posts: 3,241
For anyone who hasn't seen or is interested in the Rain in my Heart documentary on youtube.
Rain In My Heart (1 of 10) - YouTube
Rain In My Heart (1 of 10) - YouTube
Member
Join Date: Apr 2010
Location: Lowcountry
Posts: 2,762
Originally Posted by Lucrezia 
My brain has decided that it's okay to drink today. What do I do? Or, should I make a separate thread for this? I'm torn.
Copy your post here in the Newcomers, ...to get feedback from the heart of the folks there. There are certainly people with some time under their belts that can offer some wonderful insights , and support.
Any time I think of drinking , ...I try to put it in the category of my addiction rearing it's head. Nothing to be feared , or to worry about either.
Why wouldn't I forget about the downside of drinking, or why I wanted to quit in the first place, when my addiction is trying it's best to feel the deep pleasure of a buzz ( however fleeting it eventually became )
Every time I rode thru the urge, ( or craving , if you will ) it always made it easier the next time I was faced with similar thoughts. They are only thoughts, until we actually act on them. It takes quite a bit of doing to act on them also. How much, when , with who, how long, etc etc. If the alcohol is not right at your fingertips, there is always the planning of procurement .
A lot of motor skills involved, actually.
I'm glad you posted , and would encourage you to post the very same thing in Newcomers. Heck, why not ?
Blood Countess
Join Date: May 2014
Location: A castle
Posts: 340
The alcohol is right there, at my fingertips... so it's harder to say no because there are less steps in between. I would say at this point it seems 50/50. But earlier it was like 85/15 so, it's more possible I can not drink. I still don't know yet....I'm nowhere being able to sleep, so maybe I can make some coffee and watch a show. I can't promise things. I'll just....ugh...
Member
Join Date: Apr 2010
Location: Lowcountry
Posts: 2,762
Congrats on the big One. Oh. Oh. Present !!!!
....and good job tonight for reaching out Lucrezia !
For me, overcoming ambivalence was a big hurdle, but once there, ...things seem to be going smoother ( on the total abstinence front anyway )
Drinking has < finally > shifted into a moral dilemma for me.,...kind of like purse snatching, or knocking over convenience stores. Those things I never had an issue with, ...because of the ethics involved.
Once I accepted I was hurting more than just myself, it became more clear.
It's going to take me more than a few months to create a new life sober that's actually worth a lot to protect. It seems the losses by seriously risking it would seem to go up , the further along I go.,,,,
....that's probably just business ideologue jibberish !?! lol
....and good job tonight for reaching out Lucrezia !
For me, overcoming ambivalence was a big hurdle, but once there, ...things seem to be going smoother ( on the total abstinence front anyway )
Drinking has < finally > shifted into a moral dilemma for me.,...kind of like purse snatching, or knocking over convenience stores. Those things I never had an issue with, ...because of the ethics involved.
Once I accepted I was hurting more than just myself, it became more clear.
It's going to take me more than a few months to create a new life sober that's actually worth a lot to protect. It seems the losses by seriously risking it would seem to go up , the further along I go.,,,,
....that's probably just business ideologue jibberish !?! lol
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