Class of February 2012 Part 4
Member
Join Date: Mar 2012
Location: near Burlington, vt
Posts: 102
Eternal- Agree with checking in as sobriety insurance. Not that I've been at immediate risk of drinking, but the few minutes it takes to read and post have definitely helped me re-think the less immediate urges.
How's everyone's Tuesday? Mine just started, but it's going okay so far.
How's everyone's Tuesday? Mine just started, but it's going okay so far.
Member
Join Date: Feb 2012
Location: Overland Park, KS
Posts: 137
Hey O et al - going well here. Deadline for work looming, but making good progress. Ever have that feeling where you're actially glad it's not later in the week because there's still so much left to do? Something definitely doesn't seem right when you start wishing for longer work weeks! Oh well,the long days/nights are temporary and typically pretty rewarding when all is said and done. Looking forward to some downtime... but then I'll get bored 
Just another example of how moderation sounds good in theory, but is so difficult in practice!
Just another example of how moderation sounds good in theory, but is so difficult in practice!
Member
Join Date: Feb 2012
Posts: 236
Evening all!
8 weeks today!
JD, EQ and Dee thanks for your replies. Am going to try to keep moving forward and use the past as a measure of how much better things are going now I'm not drinking. I never want to forget how bad I let things get but I do need to move on. Has been a strange and slightly surreal night. My sister was on the TV talking about university degrees and graduate unemployment which was fantastic, if slightly bizarre! Also we had a bad lambing and had to get the vet out. Thought he was going to have to do a C-section but he managed and mum and baby are both fine which is great (new vet is Italian and very handsome which was a bonus :-) ) Hope everyone's had a great Tues xx
8 weeks today!
JD, EQ and Dee thanks for your replies. Am going to try to keep moving forward and use the past as a measure of how much better things are going now I'm not drinking. I never want to forget how bad I let things get but I do need to move on. Has been a strange and slightly surreal night. My sister was on the TV talking about university degrees and graduate unemployment which was fantastic, if slightly bizarre! Also we had a bad lambing and had to get the vet out. Thought he was going to have to do a C-section but he managed and mum and baby are both fine which is great (new vet is Italian and very handsome which was a bonus :-) ) Hope everyone's had a great Tues xx
Member
Join Date: Jun 2011
Location: Toronto
Posts: 443
That's fantastic Kam, 8 weeks is no small feat. Equally fantastic is that Dr Hot Stuff was there to save the day.
Had a super annoying day today, would explain more but starting to get worked up all over again. GRRRRRR.
Note to self...easy does it, rockstar!
Have a good one guys...
Had a super annoying day today, would explain more but starting to get worked up all over again. GRRRRRR.
Note to self...easy does it, rockstar!
Have a good one guys...
Member
Join Date: Jan 2012
Location: Wyandotte, MI
Posts: 71
Congrats Kam on the 8 weeks, you rock.
Olympia- Yes, it was hard to get back on track, just very important to try and keep my nose to the grind with sobriety. How have you been feeling?
EQ- I read the Allen Carr book in two days, very interesting perspective, the problem for me has been the desire for a drink, It can be so powerful and all consuming. I just pray that the desire has disappeared. Because I really do not want to drink.
JD- I went with a friend to a bar after work, feeling very confident, that I would not drink any alcohol only water. I started out ordering a glass of water and sat there for a hour without a problem drinking the water and very quickly that voice in my head was telling me you only have a hour and a half before last call, if you are going to drink you should decide now. My friend kept talking and I could only see her mouth moving, because I was having a intense dispute in my own mind about if I was going to drink or not...I ended up drinking four beers and a shot in about a hour, and if I could of bought some to go home with me I would of kept drinking. Not such a great idea to go into a bar just yet. Then last Wensday, I drank to bottles of wine in one evening. Not very proud of it, but I am back to stay on track. Thanks for all the advice because it does really help.
Olympia- Yes, it was hard to get back on track, just very important to try and keep my nose to the grind with sobriety. How have you been feeling?
EQ- I read the Allen Carr book in two days, very interesting perspective, the problem for me has been the desire for a drink, It can be so powerful and all consuming. I just pray that the desire has disappeared. Because I really do not want to drink.
JD- I went with a friend to a bar after work, feeling very confident, that I would not drink any alcohol only water. I started out ordering a glass of water and sat there for a hour without a problem drinking the water and very quickly that voice in my head was telling me you only have a hour and a half before last call, if you are going to drink you should decide now. My friend kept talking and I could only see her mouth moving, because I was having a intense dispute in my own mind about if I was going to drink or not...I ended up drinking four beers and a shot in about a hour, and if I could of bought some to go home with me I would of kept drinking. Not such a great idea to go into a bar just yet. Then last Wensday, I drank to bottles of wine in one evening. Not very proud of it, but I am back to stay on track. Thanks for all the advice because it does really help.
Member
Join Date: Mar 2012
Location: near Burlington, vt
Posts: 102
drinking
Hey all! Checking in....
kam- Congrats on the 8 weeks!
Wildcat- I've had the experience, not of wishing the work week was longer (as I've never worked any job with long term objectives), but of wishing the work day was longer. Day, week- it sure makes the time go by fast!
Johnny- Sounds like you're handling your irritating day with grace. Good for you- hopefully you can count on less irritation in the near future.
I'm just about at the end of Day 51. I discovered today that I've gone down a pants size since I stopped drinking. I'm pretty stoked about this- alcohol really helped me pack on the pounds, and I know I'll be more comfortable at a lower weight. I'm really trying not to obsess about calories, though; that's one thing I DON'T need. In the past, I've always been such an all or nothing person- either 1000 calories a day, or eating all I could pack in and then some. I'm just trying to be more mindful about food now. Hopefully that'll keep working.
faustina- I know that voice you speak of. It sounds like you learned something from your bar experience, though, so that's good. Just keep trying. I know it took me forever to move beyond racking up three sober days in a row, but I was able to push past that eventually. You can push past your difficulties too!
kam- Congrats on the 8 weeks!
Wildcat- I've had the experience, not of wishing the work week was longer (as I've never worked any job with long term objectives), but of wishing the work day was longer. Day, week- it sure makes the time go by fast!
Johnny- Sounds like you're handling your irritating day with grace. Good for you- hopefully you can count on less irritation in the near future.
I'm just about at the end of Day 51. I discovered today that I've gone down a pants size since I stopped drinking. I'm pretty stoked about this- alcohol really helped me pack on the pounds, and I know I'll be more comfortable at a lower weight. I'm really trying not to obsess about calories, though; that's one thing I DON'T need. In the past, I've always been such an all or nothing person- either 1000 calories a day, or eating all I could pack in and then some. I'm just trying to be more mindful about food now. Hopefully that'll keep working.
faustina- I know that voice you speak of. It sounds like you learned something from your bar experience, though, so that's good. Just keep trying. I know it took me forever to move beyond racking up three sober days in a row, but I was able to push past that eventually. You can push past your difficulties too!
Last edited by olympia; 04-10-2012 at 09:03 PM. Reason: add something
Administrator
Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,471
Maybe we need to ask whether we really need to respond to the desire tho?
There's been many times, especially in the early days, when I wanted to drink - but I knew that to do that would negate everything else I was trying to do...
I know it's not easy, but it does get better
D
There's been many times, especially in the early days, when I wanted to drink - but I knew that to do that would negate everything else I was trying to do...
I know it's not easy, but it does get better
D
Member
Join Date: Feb 2012
Location: East Coast, The States
Posts: 12,162
I agree, Dee. Resisting desires and impulses builds our mindstrength and emotional muscle everytime we do it. And when we give in, it undoes that mindstrength as quick as a pulled thread can undo a garment. Besides, doesn't feeling in control of our choices and values feel exhilirating?
I feel so sure that our addiction has so screwed with our nervous system, and our brains, that it will take months, maybe a year, of sustained abstinence for our bodies to heal. I also believe that even one drink, (just one drink), can undo weeks and months of this healing. We may not feel back to "day one" in hearts or spirit, but if our nervous system or our brain pathways are "tricked" back to day one, why risk it?
I also believe: if we think we can "just have a drink now and then", (but yet, if we are honest with ourselves, we know we aren't 100% sure that that is true) then why risk something as valuable as our NEW LIFE CLARITY on something we claim we only want to do NOW AND THEN?
If we wanted to bowl a game or two "now and then", but bowling gave us cancer, would we risk cancer for the right to bowl "now and then?" Of course we wouldn't!
I guess it is just: alcohol allowed me to sabotage so much in my life and so much of my inner values, that I will be damned if I am letting it get within reach of me again.
All I hear in my head is: This is not a game. Not a dress rehearsel. When will I risk it by just having one? When pigs fly.
I feel so sure that our addiction has so screwed with our nervous system, and our brains, that it will take months, maybe a year, of sustained abstinence for our bodies to heal. I also believe that even one drink, (just one drink), can undo weeks and months of this healing. We may not feel back to "day one" in hearts or spirit, but if our nervous system or our brain pathways are "tricked" back to day one, why risk it?
I also believe: if we think we can "just have a drink now and then", (but yet, if we are honest with ourselves, we know we aren't 100% sure that that is true) then why risk something as valuable as our NEW LIFE CLARITY on something we claim we only want to do NOW AND THEN?
If we wanted to bowl a game or two "now and then", but bowling gave us cancer, would we risk cancer for the right to bowl "now and then?" Of course we wouldn't!
I guess it is just: alcohol allowed me to sabotage so much in my life and so much of my inner values, that I will be damned if I am letting it get within reach of me again.
All I hear in my head is: This is not a game. Not a dress rehearsel. When will I risk it by just having one? When pigs fly.
Member
Join Date: Feb 2012
Location: East Coast, The States
Posts: 12,162
Gettin ready for.baseball game. Sure am.glad.i.am.not.having to.pre drink.like i used to, to avoid shakiness becuz a beer or.two.at.the game wouldnt.even.make a dent.in my..need.
I am FREE....
I am FREE....
Member
Join Date: Mar 2012
Location: near Burlington, vt
Posts: 102
EQ- Being able to do everything without chemical enhancement is pretty freeing, for sure!
I can't say I'm at that point yet. I am continuing to learn about my triggers, though. Today finds my willpower ebbing, and (TMI, I apologize), I realize this probably has a lot to do with PMS. It's interesting, how this helps me think of my alcoholism as as much a physical affliction as a mental one- I crave alcohol around this time, just as I crave food. But, of course, the good thing about PMS is it goes away pretty predictably.
Knowing it will go away helps me ride out the cravings.
I can't say I'm at that point yet. I am continuing to learn about my triggers, though. Today finds my willpower ebbing, and (TMI, I apologize), I realize this probably has a lot to do with PMS. It's interesting, how this helps me think of my alcoholism as as much a physical affliction as a mental one- I crave alcohol around this time, just as I crave food. But, of course, the good thing about PMS is it goes away pretty predictably.
Knowing it will go away helps me ride out the cravings.
Member
Join Date: Jun 2011
Location: Toronto
Posts: 443
Enjoy the game EQ and give my regards to Pops.
faustina, so happy you're back on track. Needless to say, going to a bar this early in the game is just asking for it. We live and learn. The main thing is it's just a slip, not a full blown relapse. Be proud of that! I've long since given up on the confidence game concerning booze. Just read a post here about a guy with 9 days clean time going to a kegger...WTF? That's just begging for trouble. With me, I'm pretty sure I could go to a bar with a buddy and not drink, the problems arise after the bar, when I'm alone. I can pretty much guarantee that within 3 days I'll be drinking again. No question about it. Therefore, no bars for Johnny.
Until we have some serious sobriety under out belts, when the urges arise, we just have to say no. Leave the situation, eat a meal, take a nap...whatever it takes. It sucks but that's the way it is for right now.
Had a much better day today, everyone followed my script, haha. Still found the need for a nap this afternoon though.
Got to get ready as it's Survivor night down at the girls. All the best everyone.
faustina, so happy you're back on track. Needless to say, going to a bar this early in the game is just asking for it. We live and learn. The main thing is it's just a slip, not a full blown relapse. Be proud of that! I've long since given up on the confidence game concerning booze. Just read a post here about a guy with 9 days clean time going to a kegger...WTF? That's just begging for trouble. With me, I'm pretty sure I could go to a bar with a buddy and not drink, the problems arise after the bar, when I'm alone. I can pretty much guarantee that within 3 days I'll be drinking again. No question about it. Therefore, no bars for Johnny.
Until we have some serious sobriety under out belts, when the urges arise, we just have to say no. Leave the situation, eat a meal, take a nap...whatever it takes. It sucks but that's the way it is for right now.
Had a much better day today, everyone followed my script, haha. Still found the need for a nap this afternoon though.
Got to get ready as it's Survivor night down at the girls. All the best everyone.
Member
Join Date: Feb 2012
Location: Overland Park, KS
Posts: 137
Not that I have the time right now, but if you're looking for a not-so-productive time killer and have a smart phone, I recommend the "Draw Something" app. I'm no artist, but that makes it more entertaining. You play at your own pace as time permits, but be forewarned... it's addictive and I don't think there's a SR-like site devoted to it yet No worries though...it's hangover/guilt free!
No worries though...it's hangover/guilt free!
Member
Join Date: Feb 2012
Location: East Coast, The States
Posts: 12,162
Great game! And great night for A Philadelphia trifecta too! (Baseball, hockey and basketball!)
And best of all: it was a great night for not drinking!
I know humility is important, but, you know what? So is honest pride. I am proud of myself, and I am proud of all of you! We have a lot to be proud of!
Thanks for all your support, guys!
And best of all: it was a great night for not drinking!
I know humility is important, but, you know what? So is honest pride. I am proud of myself, and I am proud of all of you! We have a lot to be proud of!
Thanks for all your support, guys!
Member
Join Date: Feb 2012
Posts: 236
Hey guys. Hope all is well with Feb class? Just back from the stables - lovely morning for it! Started a mindful meditation course last night - think it's going to be really interesting! It's all about living in the present, from moment to moment, and not worrying too much about the past or the future, which I think could be a useful tool to learn and develop! Apart from that i had a weird moment yesterday when I realised for the first time in quite a while just how easy it would be to slip back into drinking (and it was a really random thing that triggered it - was flicking through a supermarket flier and got stuck on the page with the wine offers!) anyways, it just made me think about how it doesn't do to get complacent just because things are going well. Am hoping for some more lambs this afternoon - lovely to see them enjoying the good weather!
Member
Join Date: Jan 2012
Location: Wyandotte, MI
Posts: 71
Good going EQ, your have a reason to be proud of yourself, and I am proud of you too!! You are correct about one drink undoing days and weeks of healing, I felt my confidence and mental clarity take a big hit. Definetly not worth it. Alcohol has robbed me of so much, and having the slips proves to me that it picks up right where it leaves off.
JD- Thanks for the great advice, I should know better than to think about going to bars just yet, but like you said I am back on track and that is important.
Olympia- Yes the voice of desire is so powerful sometimes, even when I think that I got it under control, really need to be prepared to deal with it more effectively, I just want it to go away. Congrats on day 51!!
Kam- Meditation class sounds like a great tool to stay in a positive mindset,
Today is day 6, my grand daughter is coming over a little bit today, and tonight I have my grandson for the night. Looking forward to having a blessed and sober day, wishing you all the same. xo
JD- Thanks for the great advice, I should know better than to think about going to bars just yet, but like you said I am back on track and that is important.
Olympia- Yes the voice of desire is so powerful sometimes, even when I think that I got it under control, really need to be prepared to deal with it more effectively, I just want it to go away. Congrats on day 51!!
Kam- Meditation class sounds like a great tool to stay in a positive mindset,
Today is day 6, my grand daughter is coming over a little bit today, and tonight I have my grandson for the night. Looking forward to having a blessed and sober day, wishing you all the same. xo
Member
Join Date: Feb 2012
Location: East Coast, The States
Posts: 12,162
Faustina, I hope you have a wonderful time with your Grandchildren!! Grandchildren are a special joy different from your child or a niece or nephew, aren't they?
I am really truly proud of you, and impressed. I don't know if this will sound selfish of me, but, for what it is worth, I learned from your recent slips even though they were not mine... I don't need any more of such learning though, so I am not recommending you or anyone do any more slipping!
I read a post on SR today that apparently is an AA saying: "just because you feel like a drink, doesn't mean you want a drink."
So true! And may I add: "Feeling like a drink" ~ while we all know what that means~ is not a feeling, at all! Feeling like a drink, means, "I wonder what I am feeling now, that I never took the time to find out before?"
Which brings me to another AA saying I am familiar with: "No one ever died from a feeling!"
I am really truly proud of you, and impressed. I don't know if this will sound selfish of me, but, for what it is worth, I learned from your recent slips even though they were not mine... I don't need any more of such learning though, so I am not recommending you or anyone do any more slipping!
I read a post on SR today that apparently is an AA saying: "just because you feel like a drink, doesn't mean you want a drink."
So true! And may I add: "Feeling like a drink" ~ while we all know what that means~ is not a feeling, at all! Feeling like a drink, means, "I wonder what I am feeling now, that I never took the time to find out before?"
Which brings me to another AA saying I am familiar with: "No one ever died from a feeling!"
Currently Active Users Viewing this Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
