I agree, Dee. Resisting desires and impulses builds our mindstrength and emotional muscle everytime we do it. And when we give in, it undoes that mindstrength as quick as a pulled thread can undo a garment. Besides, doesn't feeling in control of our choices and values feel exhilirating?
I feel so sure that our addiction has so screwed with our nervous system, and our brains, that it will take months, maybe a year, of sustained abstinence for our bodies to heal. I also believe that even one drink, (just one drink), can undo weeks and months of this healing. We may not feel back to "day one" in hearts or spirit, but if our nervous system or our brain pathways are "tricked" back to day one, why risk it?
I also believe: if we think we can "just have a drink now and then", (but yet, if we are honest with ourselves, we know we aren't 100% sure that that is true) then why risk something as valuable as our NEW LIFE CLARITY on something we claim we only want to do NOW AND THEN?
If we wanted to bowl a game or two "now and then", but bowling gave us cancer, would we risk cancer for the right to bowl "now and then?" Of course we wouldn't!
I guess it is just: alcohol allowed me to sabotage so much in my life and so much of my inner values, that I will be damned if I am letting it get within reach of me again.
All I hear in my head is: This is not a game. Not a dress rehearsel. When will I risk it by just having one? When pigs fly.